Advice to Self — And Others

Advice to Self.

Make something of your life (Dave).
Yes.....
I know it’s noisy,
I know it’s so difficult,
I know it feels totally impossible,
But you’ve never been a quitter,
Even when you had nobody,
You never ever gave up,
Just perhaps - you can do it.....

Re-read the first sentence every day.

Love to Everybody
Dave x
Jazzer

 

You know the struggle Jazzer. You’ve been beaten up by this evil beast for a long time. It’s bent you, it’s bruised you, it’s battered you in a way none of us ever knew was possible before it came along BUT....you’re still standing tall my friend. Like a mighty oak.

Whenever I feel like I'm at the end of what I can take and all I want to do is silence this f***ing noise for good, I think of a day in the future when we all finally get cured and I will hug you to death you lovely bastard. xx

 

I know T and H are horrible. But its not the end of the world, at least not mine.

This world has thrown a lot at me. And some of it was worse than T or H. But I handled it all and I keep going just fine.

I just try not to whine about it or let it be a burden to others. They know I need to avoid loud noises and thats it.

 

Same here, I realize that just because i have T it doesn't mean other people's lives have to end.

 

I will hug all you lovely bastards as well, even though I may be a ugly bastard. Something will help us soon so we can all sing "silent night" together.

 

I love you too bud,
You’re a knockout bloke - no question!
Dave x

 

I would rather be happy than right.

Many years ago when I first got tinnitus, I was going through a difficult time like many newbies do. I read a newspaper article that helped to change my thinking and put me on the path to habituation. It mentioned 19 out of 20 medical conditions cannot be cured but most can be successfully treated. At this moment, tinnitus is one of them.

Many people with intrusive tinnitus experience anxiety, depression and low moods. With time they often improve and some with the help of medications eventually habituate and can be weened off meds. Others may experience spikes in their tinnitus that can make them prone to mood swings. These people still manage to find a way through it with determination, focus and inner strength.

There are others that will accept nothing less than a complete cure and therefore, habituation can be difficult, even if they had the best treatment in the world. My experience with tinnitus has enabled me to correspond with people on the telephone by email and at tinnitus forums. Unfortunately, some people without realizing it drag others down with their pessimism so it's something one has to guard against when reading certain posts.

Just as there are positive thinking people that are prepared to try and make a life with tinnitus, negative people prefer to sit and do nothing. Moaning and groaning and feeling sorry for themselves and looking for someone to blame for the stress and anxiety that tinnitus caused them. Their government, every health professional and medical organisation are the ones responsible for their misfortune. It can be difficult to change this mindset.

There are those reading this post that won’t like my comments and can't wait to jump on the keyboard to unleash their fury. Just before you do take time out and think. Ask yourself and be honest. What have you achieved with all your negative thinking? Absolutely nothing. Even if you are right it doesn’t make for a fulfilling life and it is possible with tinnitus. Perhaps it’s time to change your strategy to one of positivity.

Michael

PS: There is nothing wrong with being occasionally negative especially with a condtion such as tinnitus. However, everything must be kept in balance, and therefore one must try not to let negativity become all-consuming.

 

People die of tinnitus.

The words ‘whine’ and ‘negativity’
have no place here.

Why not try practicing something called
‘Humanity?’

 

@Bam - I truly hope we ALL see that day! x

 

Missed this bit... @Bam

 

Great post, I agree balance is everything. It's ok to be sad, but being proactive is better both mentally and emotionally. Nobody is going to be a better friend to you than you, so treat yourself with love and kindness.

 

When Gabby Oultus told an unsuspecting world about her terrifying shrieking tinnitus - was she whining, was she being negative?

Or was she, with incredible integrity, telling us all, well all of us who would genuinely “Listen,” just how severe and hateful this wretched thing can get - to the point where she simply had to say goodbye to her distraught young family?

When lightweights pat themselves on the back about their refusal to whine, and their admirable practice of ‘positivity’ - should they not pause for a moment to consider what the reason for the difference is?

Is it their superior perception, psychology, philosophy, courage, ingenuity, wonderfulness, etc.....?

Tell you what guys - I’ll help you out here - wouldn’t want to over stretch your struggling grey matter - the difference is - wait for it - roll on the drums - “SEVERITY!”

By the way - I do not expect you to accept this - much less understand it.

Self congratulation feels so good eh??

 

Ice cream makes me happy

 

Thank you for your kind comments @coffee_girl

I know tinnitus isn't easy for I have habituated twice in the 22 years that I've had this condition. The second time took 4 years that were the lowest point of my life to date. Please believe me when I say, I never thought I would recover but somehow, I found the inner strength and determination to carry on. I dreaded waking up in the mornings only to endure the constant cacophony of sounds in my head and ears. So before anyone says: "You haven't lived my life or know how severe my tinnitus is" - this is true. It might help when I say that I asked my consultant, to be candid about my condition back in 2010 after two years of TRT. I had made some improvement but the treatment wasn't as successful as the first time.

She said, I was the second worst tinnitus patient that she had met in all her years of practicing Audiovestibular medicine.

My post is to try and motivate those that are having a difficult time with tinnitus. To try and make them look at their situation a little differently. We still have our life to live so we have to get along with it the best we can.

Michael

 

I can't even begin to imagine how difficult it was for you to overcome and habituate to your severe tinnitus. It certainly gives me hope that some day i can overcome mine if it ever get to that point.

 

Sorry Jazzer but to be honest with you Gabby was clearly fucking negative and was probably surrounded by other negative people. Don’t you see?!? She didn’t try and get better. She didn’t give habituation long enough. Quitting after only 10 years of torture. It was clearly her weak mind that killed that loser. And she obviously didn’t love her kids much either. It’s shameful really. I reckon that loads of happy habituated folk on here have far worse tinnitus but the difference is they have hobbies and keep busy and distract themselves. If Gabby had just taken some meds and reached out and maybe had a phone consult with Michael I’m sure she would have come round and seem that the noise wasn’t so bad after all.

 

Those 4 years were horrible @coffee_girl My Brother who will be visiting me tomorrow, Christmas day helped me through it when others close to me didn't want to know. You will be fine coffee girl as you have the right attitude and this will help you through the downtimes if they arrive.

Take care
Michael

 

Don't you think you are habituated? How loud is your Tinnitus? Can you hear it outside the house?

 

Michael has it much more severe than me, I'm hoping that i can still habituate once I am at his level.

 

My tinnitus can still reach severe levels @coffee_girl but doesn't last for days and days like it did once. I have learned to accept the downtimes. My tinnitus can be completely silent and this happens at random. It can last for a few hours or a day or two. When it is mild, moderate it doesn't bother me in the slightest as it is now as I type. If it's intrusive (severe) I can tolerate it for a day or two and it might reduce on its own, if it doesn't clonazepam will usually help reduce it over a few hours sometimes to complete silence.

What I'm saying is, habitation is all about acceptance of the tinnitus and not to expect unrealistic goals as some people do - I know you are not like this. Habituation does have its limitations as tinnitus, can become so severe it's debilitating and daily tasks for a person become very difficult.

I have mentioned before and I'll say it again. Regular posters to this forum and they know who they are. Do not at the time of writing and posting to this forum have "severe tinnitus" to the point where it is debilitating, otherwise they wouldn't be able to concentrate to write. Similarly, those that work should be thankful, as when tinnitus becomes severe and debilitating work becomes virtually impossible to do.

Michael

 

Gave me a smile Bam - but a bit too subtle for some I fear....x

 

Merry Christmas my friend......I didn’t get the gift I wanted funnily enough.x

 

I think I somewhat agreed with this in a post once but, honestly, even if I post on here and it's not a 10/10 at the time of posting, doesn't make it any less debilitating. I can somewhat focus on posting but I don't double-check things anymore, it's all just a blur. My tinnitus is debilitating even if I can post on here. I'm tired of this. How much more do I have to endure so that people see my situation as severe? I can sleep for eight hours but only because I stay up until I pass out. I never feel rested. So only people who don't post online can have severe tinnitus? I'm so done with all of this. I hope Neuromod helps, it's the last thing I'm betting on. It's all just a blur, I don't even know how I got through this year but I'm just watching myself waste away.

 

What a crock of shit. Don’t listen to that jumped up troll @Autumnly People wrote diaries and poetry in concentration camps, gulags, prisoner of war camps, the front line trenches of world war 1......I don’t think they wrote from a place of joy.

 

Spot on Bam!

Frauds are so easily spotted my friend!

 

So I jealous. If on the very rare occasion I can sleep even 6-7hrs straight, I’m over the moon. Nothing, not even benzos will see me through the night. T is not always the culprit.