Anxiety

Hello

I developed tinnitus in the middle of November 2013. I suppose in my case I had the classical combination of loud music and high stress levels prior to that which triggered the tinnitus. In the beginning I wasn't very anxious about my tinnitus, but by the beginning of January I realized it is not probably going to leave and I panicked. I started having sleeping problems (not related to tinnitus, but anxiety), couldn't stay alone and satyed with my family. Luckily my parents and sister have been very supportive (they have all suffered from depression or anxiety. My mother have me the basic tips used in TRT without knowing anything about it as well). It got so bad that I visited the emergency room in the psychiatric hospital. I was prescribed a sleeping pill and an anti-anxiety medication Salymbra (tianeptinenatrium). In the first week the medication seemed to work, however the last couple of days I feel anxious as well. I have an appointment with a psychiatrist in March, however if the anxiety doesn't subside I will visited the emergency the room again and ask for a higher or dose or another medicine (currently Im only taking 1 pill per day).
My tinnitus has pretty much stayed the same as in the beginning (more audible at night, but doesnt bother sleeping, mostly audible in quiet rooms). When I am at school /work or focus on smth else I dont really notice it. As a matter of fact, when I come home from school I barely notice it but then I start noticing it again and it becomes more audible.
I have always been a relatively nervous person with a low stress threshold and it is making it more difficult for me. I keep having anxious thoughts about getting spikes in the future, about how I am going to live with it for many-many years and about how it might get so loud that I wont be able to live with it and I will be forced to commit suicide then. Im not saying that I have suicidal thoughts, Im just saying that I am being extremely anxious about the future. Also, the fact that I spend time on this board and read horror stories online doesnt probably really contribute to the recovery process. I realize that it is not making it better and I cant really control the future. I should just learn to live in the moment, but I have a very hard time doing that right now. Im also having a little trouble with the fact that most of my friends who are my age (in their early 20s) dont seem to understand, having never really suffered on their own. I feel that I am forced to grow up to fast in the means that I now know how fragile life and health are and how little control we sometimes have over our lives.
Maybe some of the people on the board who have managed to cope with it for years can give me some tips in how to reduce the anxiety connected to it. Also, general tips about coping with hardships in life are welcome.

 

Hi stina, what I will say is its very hard not to be anxious about tinnitus in the beginning. You have only had tinnitus since November, I was panicking for the first 6 months. The way you lose the anxiety over tinnitus is TIME, time helps you adjust to having the noise, time takes the edge off.

I had the same thoughts when I first got T and when it changed months ago, BUT...as time went on I got tired of the negative thinking, I got bored of being scared of the noise, the brain stopped freaking out, its like mourning for awhile, little by little I lost the fear of the noise, it got old fast!

When that happens the noise loses its significance, when you no longer have anxiety, negative reaction of the noise it loses its power over you, its all about losing the fear..then it just becomes a noise that is occasionally annoying.

Trust me when I say I'm 100 times better than before, didn't think it was possible, but I realized it was me stressing out that was causing the suffering, not the noise.

 

Hi Stina,

I have to say that it is almost the same for all of us, since you come into the 3 months. I know that, in the first month of onset, anxiety did not come, because we all still hold the hope that it will go away. 3 months is a gate, when you get to know more and more facts about T, and the fear increase that it will not go away, a lifelong cope with T is a very big challenge when this kind of thoughts hit you. I have no good suggestion for you except the WNG I have talked to you, you have to experience this stage, and 6 months is another stage. Then you will be better.

General tips about coping with hardships, I have to say, think about what you still have:
1) Perfect hearing, compared with most of us here, your situation is better, many of us got very intrusive T and hearing loss as well
2) Supportive families
3) A lot of friends who understand you here
4) Pray, talk to The Lord

But actually, how to cope with hardship is a class which can't be taught by others, it is only YOU who could teach yourself by experience situations like this. You are forced to grow up, it is cruel, but we have no choice.

 

Yes while it is good to get support and info here and online, my experience is that when thinking about it you end up focusing on the T. It becomes self-fulfilling in a way, re-enforcing your attention to it.

I've had it since 1995. learning to deal with it at the beginning was the worst, and that's where a lot of people here are...I'm past that point but while I'm here to say the mind gets used it to once you lose the anxiety like mick suggested there will be spikes that can allow a person to get anxious again very easily if they aren't pro-actively trying to prevent it.

Also about the future: be optimistic too! medical advancements could ,and at some point probably will, provide a solution for T!

hang in there

 

Hi Mick,

I got T 2 months earlier than you, but I have not achieved so much as you do right now, especially after my second accident of the MRI, I became super depressed, actually my T got lower these days, but I still have bad thoughts, and the T still annoyed me like 30% of my awake time. My best strategy is still masking....

I think my personality is kind of perfectism, so it is quite difficult for me, I have to change myself firstly

 

Hi Aaron, its a battle you can't win, fighting it is futile, i understand the perfectionist part of you wants silence back (who doesn't), but its the resistance to the noise makes everything harder. The eurika moment for me was when I realised I could still be happy, laugh, have fun even with the noise, I realised that I had gone a period of time where I wasn't consciously aware of the noise, from then on it lost its power over me. When the negative reaction disappeared, I noticed I wasn't suffering anymore, even in the quiet its not in the centre of my attention anymore.

To me now, listening to my tinnitus is as fun as watching paint dry! Its boring!

 

Yeah, I also know that I have made some progress, but for me, it is like 2 steps forward, then 1 step back. I am able to sleep with no sound around, that is amazing, which I could not image before.

I think my personality makes it longer for me to achieve it, but I should get more confidence from your experience, thank you!

 

That's great Aaron that you can sleep in the silence, from day 1 I never tried to mask my tinnitus because I thought if I couldn't hear it, then I wouldn't habituate. Also if I concentrate on the noise it would annoy me, so I learnt to push the noise from my consciousness, same in the daytime, I thought to myself what was the point of concentrating on a noise that I hate?

 

My T is constantly fluctuating...some days it's not too loud and I can more or less ignore it, but other days it is screaming in my head like a dentist's drill. I get so depressed when that happens; I liken it to a migraine with a different kind of pain. Will I be able to habituate?

 

Great mindset, I should force myself to do it, thanks

 

Your case seems ALOT like mine... Got mine in november also.. And it didnt bother me at first.. Actually didnt even notice it until i really started thinking about it.. I guess im really lucky cause my T started out with a very very loud ring in both ears after loud exposure and didnt go away until 48 hours after.. And then it was about a week later that i realized it just went down to a quiet ring hiss when i plug my ears... Or in the quiet..And thats what im still left with today. Deff managable but I along with the T have anixety and depression way before so it just makes it worse constant worry bout the future and if its gonna get worse or if im gonna get a permanent spike.. Really sucks.. But the days when i really panic chlonopin REALLLY helps... Calms You down bigtime! You should totally try a benzo or anyone in general if you havent yet.. Andd ofcorse theres gonna be better treatments/ a cure in the future.. Positiveeee

 

Hello again, Stina. You, Grace, and I are in pretty similar situations. I don't know about Grace's but our T is new, noise induced, and relatively mild. Plus, we have good support and are doctoring, but our anxious personalities sometimes interfere with our habituation, and, I'll admit, I've had the dreadful and suicidal thoughts when considering the future with the T.

Still, like you said, we have to take our minds off of it and give it to God if we can't. He knows what to do. I really like the idea of a cure someday, too.

 

Thank you for the kind replies I got some really good advice. However it will probably take some time until I learn to habituate and stop freaking out about it. Obviously its better to think about the people who have managed to live with it for decades instead of focusing on the fact that it will get worse. Actually I think the medication Im taking also works, but Im taking a very tiny dose so I think maybe I need a bigger one. I sort of feel like Im drowning so probably some additional help wouldnt be bad. @Grace can you give any specific names to benzos?
Yeah I also think there shall be better treatments, even Am101 could help with possible spikes. However Id like to live in the moment, enjoy my youth and think that "in 10 years life will be better".

 

Ask your doctor about Klonopin ( clonzepam) which is a long lasting benzo...meaning its effects last longer then say xanax.. I was perscribed 2 years ago for my anxiety and panic..and deffinally helped me get through panic attacks way before i got T..Usually it lasts up to 8 hours.. The calming effect is really good and will help with sleep and even the annoyance/fear and worry of T. I probably take one or two a week if im not havin a good day. But i was on 0.5 mg 1-2 every day as needed in the past.

 

Thank you for the reply Ill see a psychiatrist and discuss it with him.

 

The Paradox of Tinnitus is accepting the unacceptable. Nobody wants this noise, but the sooner you accept and are able to stop monitoring it and start "forgetting about," so to say, then habituation can occur. Of course, this is easier said than done.

I like you still have anxiety about tinnitus and also hyperacusis, but it's been reducing bit by bit. I wouldn't call the anxiety severe but mild to moderate.

 

Did you search for medical help (I mean psychiatrist, not Trt).

 

Stina, Am-101 is coming soon and it help us. When I am down, this thought helps me and my anxiety go away. You are very young and 2-3 years of waiting time means nothing for you.

I am 99 percent sure, that this cure helps people with cochlea damage induced T and I can vindicate those ideas, so dont panic, just wait . And always, if anxiety attacks you, think about those sentences.

 

Thank you for the kind reply However I am relatively sure that my tinnitus is not only noise induced (as in your case) but also has a lot to do with stress. Therefore Im sceptical about it working. Also, it only reduces the sound and since in my case it is already mild I see no point in going through with that. However probably it would work for people with T like you
Btw how is the job search going?

 

Aaron, you last paragraph fits my description. I was a perfectionist. This tendency has brought both good and bad. For the good side, I was the only one among my brothers and sisters who excels in academics and made it to university where I graduated with summa cum laude (1st class honor) and now an IT professional owning my own computer consultant business. The bad side, I couldn't settle for anything less than desirable. Imperfections in my life were harshly viewed and therefore causing much anxiety and panic about them. My brain slowly was conditioned to falsely believe that reacting to crisis by anxiety & panic will somehow lead to some sort of solution. What a joke! How wrong I was and I had let this garbage way of thinking dominate me for too many wasted years.

T has taught me a harsh lesion about life, about the frailty of health and our mortal body. It is a formidable foe when perceived in the old wrong ways. My former ways were simply ill equipped to deal with this formidable foe. My brain would cave into anxiety and panic on auto mode. It had no chance against such alien beasts of tinnitus and hyperacusis. I knew I needed to change my ways. so I searched the Internet for coping skills, people with T & H, with chronic pains or illnesses, with sudden accidents causing handicapped bodies, etc. etc. Reading books like 'Feeling Good', 'The Power of Now', reading articles about how to become more positive, more accepting, flowing with life, etc. etc.

What I emerge with this T crisis in life is a set a new life skills which I never processed. Now these new skills of positivity, acceptance, flowing instead of resisting, more willing to compromise with life's imperfections, being more compassionate to others' sufferings etc etc., they have enhanced my life's experience. Anxiety is replaced with more realistic and positive thinking, more willing to accept whatever consequences that anxiety is for, more positive about my future because I am able to enjoy the good, learn from the bed and ignore the ugly. My new motto is to live life abundantly to compensate for T suffering (if any), and let time & fate deal with the rest & I will accept the consequence of things beyond my control. Personally after suffering decades of anxiety & panic disorder, my new thinking is 'A life totally controlled by fear is not worth fearing about!'. Let it be, whatever. I want to enjoy the moment now and today.

 

Sure hope your right!!! Prettty positive bout it myself.. My T is 100 % noise induced also so would be a miracle if i can keep my T at the level it is now for the next 5 to 6 years when this comes out then hopefully the am 101 will keep it at this level or make it go away completely cause mine is really really quiet...

 

I am no authority on how to reduce the anxiety related to T and its spikes. I can only relate how I do it myself. Here are what I learn to do through the years:
1) getting educated about T correctly - that means ignore the horror stories, learn what it really is about, a sound generated by misfiring neurons of our own brain. It is harmless and only our negative reaction to it can harm. If it is treated purely as a sound, it can be handled better emotionally. Like children who fear darkness and would cry when light is out for sleep, they slowly learn that darkness is harmless but just a natural phenomenon, and they slowly lose the fear for it.

2) learning accept T slowly - be willing to compromise to accept T. By doing so, your brain can actually speed up the habituation. When you signal to the brain T is harmless and you are willing to live with it, the brain will slowly ignore T and can fade it out of consciousness most of the day. Even when it hears loud T, it will not react to it negatively.This is as good as it gets aside from a cure. This process takes time. So be patient. If you know you are going to get well in a few years, why waste to much mental suffering for it? This is realistic thinking.

3) minimize T - I used different ways to do it, such as living life as abundantly as I can, by not letting T dictate what I do and how I life, by enjoying the good moments and distracting the mind from focussing on T with activities or interesting things to do. Pursuing new hobbies will help stimulate the brain to focus on something else. I also tried to play blind or handicapped often (only when safe to do so) to put T in the right perspective in term of life's challenges. By willing to compromise, when T spikes, I just mentally imagine that I have a very loud job for long shift like those drillers and miners have to work for wages in life. Try to watch youtube video of those noisy, say, driller's jobs. Turn the volume on to reflect real job level, listen for an hour or more (you may have to put ear plugs on) to feel what it is like to do this for life day in & day out. I will take the spikes in place of their jobs. It is not a perfect analogy. But if the trade off is endless misery whenever T spikes, I will take this as a trade off. I count my blessings that I don't have a job like them. If they can bear with their work noises for life for wages, I take the compromise to accept my T spikes so I can have my life back. This approach stops my brain from sinking into the black hole of anxiety during repeated spikes.

4) maximize your life force - this is all about focusing on the positives of life and living it as abundantly as possible. Plan your life proactively to get involved. By focussing away from tinnitus and by enjoying the rest of your life not tinnitus, you maximize your life force and minimize tinnitus. Read up as many articles on how to focus on positivity when living with tinnitus. Here is a good source of info for it: http://www.tinnitus.org.au/Management/Focus

 

Not from a psychiatrist, but from my primary, yes.

I have zoloft which I got off because it didn't seem effective, but maybe I should. The trazodone for sleep is ok, I take about 75mg. My problem isn't falling asleep but staying asleep. I also have some lorazepam left over that I only take if I really cannot get to sleep.

Who knows maybe I should see a legit psychiatrist for better meds if needed.

 

Your T is maybe not only noise induced, but its possible, than your hair cells were slightly damaged by loud music and stress may only start metabolism disorder of those cells. T can wait for months or years, hunter can get it years after last hunt (his ears are damaged, because in the past, he shoot a lot of ammo without ear protection). And for example, ten years after end of his hunting career, he got it, and he dont know reason. But reason is clear - ears dont forget. It is possible, you have noise induced T too, but stress and maybe deficit of some vitamines or minerals in same time were the start button for it.

So here is a posibility, that Am101 can do its job in your case too.

 

Oh, I forget - i am still unemployed :/

 

Time heals all wounds and you will get used to your tinnitus

I don't think being unemployed will hurt your Tinnitus but it gives youthe oportunity to walk a few hours in the morning and that will help you through the day !