Can't Take Much More — At My Wits' End

[Budgie]

Hi everyone,
This is my first post on the forum, at my wits end hear, have had T now for over five weeks, it's becoming unbearable now! My wife does not understand, and I am putting her through hell! Also have insommnia, just can't sleep, sometimes lucky if I get 2 or 3 hours., it started with money worries , and a new part time job, I took early retirement , voluntary redundancy, on hindsight a big mistake. To be honest having suicidal thoughts. ......I need to get this sorted., HELP someone please.

 

[glynis]

Hi Budgie and welcome to the forum.
The first thing is to help you get some sleep and deal with your emotional state you are feeling.
You could try natural sleeping tablets to relax you into natural sleep or sleeping tablets off your doctor.
Sound therapy will help and can download a free app called Relax and Sleep and play it at night ,best through pillow speakers or on low but not through headphones or earphones.
Getting you sleep will help you cope better with the sound itself and feel better in your self.
Tinnitus and worries and anxiety can make your confidence be really low and depression soon kick in.

See your doctor about how you are feeling so you have him or her on board and can start putting into place a plan and a positive move forward for you and ask for talking therapy too.

We all totally understand how you are feeling and there is help and you will get through this rough patch and come through it stronger .....happy talk to you on the phone if in this country ......lots of love glynis

 

[Forever hopeful]

Hi,

First of all do not despair. It will get better. Have you seen an MD? You may need some medication to help you sleep and ease your anxiety. Until you are sleeping and feeling physically better , you will not be able to address your T. Also get to an audiologist as soon as possible. I find they know more about T and have options for treatment like TRT. Can you mask it all with noises like a fan, white noise machine, tv, radio? If so, do that as much as you can to help distract you from it. Read some of the success stories here on this forum. They tell you that it gets better and they all felt despair initially. You are not alone here. You really need some sleep. The anxiety is also making your response to it worse. Please call a doctor today to go to emergency room to get something to help you calm. Stress makes it all worse. My husband does not get it either and it has been so frustrating. Please keep trying and believe things will improve but get some help. I will let some of the others who are more experienced than me in this respond as I am and new to T as well. I can tell you I am taking meds for sleep and anxiety to help me address this and I am in such a better place with more resources to help me cope.
Wishing you the best.

Daniellle

 

[Budgie]

Thank you both so much, and it helps to know you understand, I honestly feel terrified , my wife is also taking it so badly, I love her so much, can't bear to also see her suffer, but she thinks I can just pull out of this! It's the unknown factor here , will I have this for the rest of my life.

 

[Forever hopeful]

You can pull out of this but not overnight. Get to the MD right away. Also have your wife read up on tinnitus. Might help her to better understand.

 

[glynis]

Hi Budgie ,
Would be good if you can ask your wife look at this website together and post too .
Your sleeping and emotional state needs help for the moment so try focus on them and the sound wont be as bad.
You might need a short course of anxiety meds and sleeping tablets to get your emotions settled .
Samaritans and MIND are great to talk to.
You are not alone with your tinnitus torture now as we are only a ckick away.
As the forum is world wide and time differences theres sure to be members about as you post .
Stay hopeful and positive there is only one way to go now and thats onwards and upwards....lots of love glynis

 

[Santos9]

Something that helped me cope with T was to tell myself, all the time, "the noise has aways been there i just didnt notice it before". There is nothing to worry about. Like when you notice the noise a fan makes if you pay atention to it or ignore it easily if you want to do something else or are occupied. The fan is always there making its noise in the room, but you dont have to be looking as it spins, hearing the sound it makes, getting mad at it. My T went down 80% in volume after 3 hard months, yours could too. Dont give up! You will have good days again.

 

[papu]

I was in your place 6 months ago. First get help with the anxiety talk to your doctor get clonazepam not alprazolam (short half life you will wake up in two hours) I did not sleep for 7 days and that was what drove me crazy, almost sold my car and house thinking I will go crazy. My wife help a lot talk to yours and show here this look in the Internet for tinnitus sound put it in your cell phone and tell here to try to hear it for 20 minutes then she will understand. Get clonazepam for at leat a week you will feel the tinnitus go away and then sleep for a full night. You will see everything differently after that.
Do not do clonazepam for more than a week you will see that after the anxiety is gone even with the bells ringing you will be able to sleep. The ringing will get better with time somehow as you cope and get used to it then it will be a annoyance and you will not want to suicide anymore. Look into retigabine post and am 101. Retigabine help a lot I am taking it since August and I feel my life has come back again I even going to a katy perry concert here in Costa Rica next month (with 33 dB protection of course) just to reward my wonderful wife after all her support. Hope this helps my friend and once again look in this forum for retigabine I wish I had as soon as my acoustic trauma happened.

 

[dan]

Some free advice here...5 weeks in? You can try to rid yourself of tinnitus.
Read up on the Trobalt thread and ask your doctor. If he doesnt prescribe off label then you can get it in Spain like a lot of us- no prescription.
Otherwise most likely the T will stay forever and you will learn to live with it- depending how loud and intrusivenit is ofc.
Good luck!

 

[Forever hopeful]

Hi budgie,

Me again. I have been thinking about you all afternoon. Are you. Y any

 

[Forever hopeful]

Ok my son hit the iPad before I was done so please disregard my previous post I have been thinking of you all afternoon. Are you in the US by any chance? The American Tinnitus Association is another good resource. They actually have volunteers by state who you can call and speak to. They post their numbers and you may want to do that just to talk to someone who understands and has been there Just google the website.

Best wishes,

Danielle.

 

[Richard zurowski]

Hi Budgie. A lot of your issues are down to your mental state. I was in the same state that your in three years ago depression makes tinnitus a whole lot worse. It took me sometime to find ways to deal with it . But as soon as you get your depression sorted you'll feel a lot better and will be able to handle your tinnitus . It does get better believe me. Just take in all these wonderful comments from people just like you who have been in the same state of mind that your in now. We all handle are tinnitus in different ways and I'm sure you will to. I wish you well my friend and looking forward to chatting with you.

 

[Budgie]

Hi everyone, and many thanks again, I took a sleeping plll last night at 10 pm (I live in Scotland uk) a
Tamazipam , and one of my propranolol pllls, slept 6 hours, but something is blurring my right eye! Same thing I get when due a migran , I think! first time I have slept this long, but only have one sleeping plll left.
I overdozed on 14 last time, so won't get any more from the doctors, ( Sorry I should have told you that) Anyway my fight goes on, I pray I get over this, things have got to get better, losing my life here! And my wife is getting ill now with worry.

 

[SoulStation]

Hi everyone, and many thanks again, I took a sleeping plll last night at 10 pm (I live in Scotland uk) a
Tamazipam , and one of my propranolol pllls, slept 6 hours, but something is blurring my right eye! Same thing I get when due a migran , I think! first time I have slept this long, but only have one sleeping plll left.
I overdozed on 14 last time, so won't get any more from the doctors, ( Sorry I should have told you that) Anyway my fight goes on, I pray I get over this, things have got to get better, losing my life here! And my wife is getting ill now with worry.

Becareful with too much propranolol ...it's listed as a possible cause of T on the ATA list though so is almost every medication on the planet of Google.

 

[glynis]

Hi Budgie ,
Glad you slept well.
Try the tesco natural ones Others have said how good they are .
Stay strong and keep posting for support as we are all here for you...lots of love glynis

 

[Budgie]

Thanks glynis , off work at the moment, and really bored, but not fit to go back just yet! Although I have
Moments that it might help! still terrified about getting better, just Dont want everything to end, it breaks my heart to see the wife go off to work in the morning, drop her off at the train station, then she is back home at 5.30pm, I go early just to wait for her, and try so hard to say my day was better. Put her through so much, I know. I pray all the time, how sad this is glynis, fighting for my life . Well no more suicidal thoughts, I could not put her through that, although I have taken two overdozes, just wanted to go to sleep! If that makes sense!! So glad you are posting back to me, I know you wish me well.

 

[Dutchy]

This might sound crazy but when you think about good things and which makes you feel good does help a lot.
Being new to T i did find out that T feeds on misery,try to think about good things.Not always possible but
it really helps.The psychological part of T is very important,you kind of have to counter your annoyance by
feeling well and the things you do have.I know easier said than done but it does help.

 

[glynis]

Hi budgie,
You will get stronger I promise and get through it.
I spend lots of time on my own due to hubby's working hours and always around to support you .
Take each day as it comes.

Even with tinnitus say to yourself what can I do today to put a smile on my face even something small and build it up .
short or long walk,coffee and read the papers in a café ,local library etc.
Talking therapy is good to help too.
Getting good sleep if the first start and thats one positive move and the other positive move forwards will come and build up to the new you and stronger to cope with anything life throws at you...not sure where your from but if youe in the uk Im always happy talk to you.
Its the weekend now but will be around still when I can .
Just to make you smile,
I was chatting to my friend on my phone and my bunny munches a hole in my trousers so will put a photo up make you laugh..the little bugger....lots of love glynis

 

[glynis]

 

[Mad maggot]

It's early days. Everyone reacts like this in the beginning so you are quite normal. It takes time for you to adjust and u don't do it overnight. In the beginning I regularly prayed for death . I assure you that I no longer want to die. I have had this more than seven years and my T affects my vision and my balance and sometimes makes me fall or vomit. It's loud enough to drown out people's speech at times but I really don't care that much any more. It makes me annoyed but I realised I can't fight it so what's the point raging at it? I'm used to it now and just get on with things. I couldn't imagine not caring in the beginning! I'd like to be rid of it and I'm still hoping to find an answer but if there's no way to be rid of it and no answers, it's ok. I live with it fine. You've only had this for five weeks? High chance it might go away and I hope it does. That would be fantastic. If it doesn't, please don't despair. You'll find after a while it's not as big a deal as it was in the beginning.

 

[Dutchy]

By the Way!!,have you tried sleeping with certain sounds?i usually like to use rain sound ( Laptop looping audio file with the lid closed ) Insomnia intensifies your T as your brain is dealing with two major deficits and emotionally insomnia wears you down as well.

 

[jeanneguy]

Hi everyone,
This is my first post on the forum, at my wits end hear, have had T now for over five weeks, it's becoming unbearable now! My wife does not understand, and I am putting her through hell! Also have insommnia, just can't sleep, sometimes lucky if I get 2 or 3 hours., it started with money worries , and a new part time job, I took early retirement , voluntary redundancy, on hindsight a big mistake. To be honest having suicidal thoughts. ......I need to get this sorted., HELP someone please.

I know exactly how you feel. I feel like I'm on the brink of "losing it." I can't stand my acute tennitus and hypercusis. I can't even eat with a metal utincil one china. I either use plastic or paper plates or bowls or if I want to use china I have to use plastic utilcils.

 

[Budgie]

Hi everyone,and thanks for the support, things have got worse here, my wife has totally lost it now! She has been shouting all morning, and I know the neighbours know something is badly wrong! That's the worst thing about T ......No one knows what your going through, unless they have experienced it , got some
Sleep last night but only a couple of hours, even as I write this down , I hear the T, it's never ending, I can't even cry now, I am numb, , I keep reading why people take there lives.....I have already taken two overdozes! Just to sleep was my intention, can not imagine the pain, of doing my self harm, plus the agony
Of putting my wife through that, to see her is breaking my heart, I am destroying her a bit every day. Just don't know we're to turn , please tell me this will go .

 

[Forever hopeful]

Budgie,


I think you should go to a hospital and get some help now. It is true that your overdose history is concerning in terms of meds to sleep but there might be some other options. You need help immediately.

D.

 

[dan]

Hi everyone,and thanks for the support, things have got worse here, my wife has totally lost it now! She has been shouting all morning, and I know the neighbours know something is badly wrong! That's the worst thing about T ......No one knows what your going through, unless they have experienced it , got some
Sleep last night but only a couple of hours, even as I write this down , I hear the T, it's never ending, I can't even cry now, I am numb, , I keep reading why people take there lives.....I have already taken two overdozes! Just to sleep was my intention, can not imagine the pain, of doing my self harm, plus the agony
Of putting my wife through that, to see her is breaking my heart, I am destroying her a bit every day. Just don't know we're to turn , please tell me this will go .

Hearing Tinnitus while you type is something almost everybody here experiences, but most are perfectly fine with their tinnitus. You are in the freak out stage right now!
Trust me, it will get better. Meanwhile do whatever u have to do to stay alive, and time will take care of the rest.

 

[glynis]

Budgie are you about ?
What are you like now ?
I would go to the nearest medical help to you if still in a bad way .
You sound now that you need all the medical profession support put in place for you and this will start you on a positive move forward and keeping you safe.....lots of love glynis

 

[Budgie]

Hi glynis,
Had a very bad day, don't now how much I can take now, life is unbearable, I panic at bed time, know it will be only an hour , or two I can escape the pain of this. Then back up ,go down stairs, try to sleep on the sofa, can hear the wife sleeping, god bless her. Try not to take a panic attack,I can't go t o the hospital , been twice, it's no good, two overdozes, a cry for help, but they said it's just stress.
Good bye my dear friend, never met you but you seem a lovely person, thanks to all of you, I believe there is a heaven, and I will see all my family again.

 

[glynis]

Budgie ring 999 or the mental health who have a crisis team come out to you.
Make sure you go get help now and dont wait and keep us posted...lots of love glynis

 

[Aaron123]

Budgie,
where are you located?

 

[Richard zurowski]

I really hope he gets help.