Does Anyone Have Any Advice? Musicians?

I don't even know what I'm expecting from this but I'm going crazy right now. I've had tinnitus for 3/4 years and I'd kinda got used to it and it was fine. But then recently I was listening to music pretty loud in my room and I noticed a new layer twice as loud as the old one which I thought would disappear, but it didn't. I then fell ill and had to take a course of antibiotics (penicillin to be exact) and I feel like that might have had an impact.

I've never been sensitive to sounds but recently loud noises really hurt my ears, like two plates being stacked on each other (which is really shit cause I work in a restaurant). I'm scared to go to work because everyone chucks the plates down and I leave with what feels like louder ringing ears but I think I'll get fired if I take another day off.

My problem is that I'm a musician and I want to be a professional music producer. I know I'm really talented at it and that I could easily have a job in that field if I worked for it. But last night I decided to work on some stuff with my overhead headphones on (working on the lowest possible volume you can put the laptop to) and somehow even that caused my tinnitus to get louder again today.

I have no idea what to do because I'm meant to go to work today but I'm too scared to and I can't get back to sleep anyway which is all I really want right now. Right now it feels like every tiny noise I get exposed to racks up an extra permanent layer of ringing which is happening every few days or weeks.

I've got a deep sound now aswell which I never had before and I hate it. I'm getting really depressed because I'm realizing that I might have to completely give up on being a music producer which has been my dream since I was a child, and only recently has become something I've become fully confident that I can succeed in.

It's making me really depressed and I think if I quit I'll spend my whole life being sad that I can't do what I love. I also float in & out of depression really easy so this new spike is killing me rn.

Is anyone on here a musician? I'm only 22 and don't want to destroy my ears for life but also don't want to give up hope on my career. What can I do to carry on without causing myself more suffering?

 

What did cause your T 3/4 ago ? That's a key element here

 

It was caused by exposure to loud music. I'm having problems with my sinuses right now though so I'm hoping that's why the ringing is getting louder now & it will go away after.

 

Your T came from loud noise 3/4 years ago, which means your ears are now weak and hurt. It would be wise to take it easy on the sound volume after an acoustic trauma that left you with tinnitus.
It seems that listening to loud music on top of a fragile hearing apparatus may have added insult to injury. Your ears are sending you an alert message.

If I were you I would take it easy on the ears from now on.

I'm a drummer who keeps playing every once in a while at moderate volume (it's an e-kit so I can easily control the volume) My T wasn't caused by acoustic trauma, but I'm not fooling myself: my ears are probably more fragile than most people, so I have to take it easy.