Feeling Blue — One Year Anniversary with Tinnitus

Today is my one year anniversary with tinnitus and hyperacusis, and like many of you, it has been such a tough journey for me. I remember feeling so scared and frightened by this noise in my head, and during this past year; my tinnitus has only gotten worse. I still don't feel like I have habituated that much, due to the fluctuations in my T. Even now with earplugs, I still haven't been able to get back to all the things I used to do like playing my music, going out to louder places, etc. Any advice on how to keep my thoughts positive today? I really thought my tinnitus would have subsided by now, but it hasn't. I just feel pretty defeated about this and wonder how I will continue to deal with it in the coming years.

 

Aww duck sending you sa big hug.
Tinnitus can be mental torture at times and this is the time we need push extra hard to try enjoy the day as giving in to it will soon have you feeling low .

Always good have things planned to do when you need a bit of a lift when tinnitus is doing your head in.

I like download a new CD to listen too,
Do some girlie shopping ,
Lovely bubbly baths and out with family or visiting family.
Always remember that we have total control over what makes us happy and don't let your tinnitus take away your smile or laughter...lots of love glynis

 

Hey Christina.

I think I should be the last one here to give you any form for advice, but you shouldn't lose any hope. It can get better. I want you to read something I came across from an old post here on TT. It's just a good reminder that tinnitus is not always chronic.

"I have been speaking to many people and read stories of people who got rid of their ringing in the ears . I wanted to put everything together for you.First, I must mention that I was able to find less stories of recovery from tinnitus on the internet. That's when I thought it may be forever. But then, I came across people in real life. It was astonishing to know that so many people I know had gone through this, I didn't even know. How could this be? Then I thought, if we completely got rid of the noise overnight, a very few number of us would ever come back to the board tomorrow, because you want to forget. That's why, reading the stuff on the internet is going to be always more depressing because people come here when they feel bad and lonely. In real life, stories of recovery are more common and we need to remember that.
1-4 people I spoke to were in their early 50s. All told me that they woke up one day with ringing and it went away in one-two years.
2-Our neighbor had stress related tinnitus, after she lost her mother. Her doctor put her on prozac and ginko. she was almost back to normal, but 6 months into it she started having panic attacks and went back to square one.It took her over a year and she completely got rid of the noise.
3-A family friend took an overseas flight. When he landed his ears were ringing. He said he got really depressed and used a lot of anti depressants. He doesn't know whether it was the loud engine or the pressure change that caused it. His ears rang for 2 years and he fully recovered.
4-I know 3 people in the army whose ears rang over a year after they left the army.
5-I saw stories of at least 5 people on the internet whose ears rang for at least 6-7 months after a loud concert. In addition to that 2 friends of mine healed in 1- 1.5 years. I came across a story of a fellow forum member who healed in 2 years. In his post he also mentioned another friend of his who also had recovered in 2 years. All of them are noise induced tinnitus.
6-My friend's mom had stress related T after she lost her husband. She said her ears rang for 2 years and then she fully recovered.
7-I am not even writing stories of so many people who recovered in less than 6 months.
So, if you come to this board as a newbie, and if you are feeling depressed, afraid and if you feel you can't go on... Stop for a moment and take a deep breath. It will get better and you will heal. We just need to accept that we are going to go through a difficult time period for a while.Cheers"

 

Hi @Christina,
I am sorry that your tinnitus and hyperacusis did not improve over the year as you had hoped. I am also sorry that your life has not returned to normal. I have had to give up playing music because of T and H and hearing loss. I know how tough that is. I am still hoping to play music again some day (but probably not in a group). It sounds like you have some supportive people in your life so that is good. You said that you remember feeling frightened....Do you still feel frightened by the noise?

 

i am also almost a year in. its has been and still is very hard. i no longer have panic attacks and depression and the T is no longer moving around insidee my head.. now they are in my ears. H has subsided a lot... i barely have H anymore... fingers crossed. but i now have a constant fleeting T in my right ear... strange right ,,, a constant fleeting ... but it is.... it screams and goes and screams and goes every second. headaches are less now... on balance some improvements but still a lot left to be desired.

 

I can not thank enough you. You have no idea how helpful this message for me. I think I got both TMJ and stress induced tinnitus and now It has been 20 days but my whole life is upside down. I hope we can cope with that and totally be cured. Lots of hugs.

 

No problem. Hope you get better.

 

@ceauses97 - Thank you for your positive post. It is so hard to remain positive knowing how bad my tinnitus has increased over the last year. In fact, I just had an MRI done and even with ear plugs, my T feels like it is echoing and it is causing me a lot of distress. I just wish there was a pill that we could take that would allow tinnitus not to get worse? I think even that alone would be such a huge relief. I am hopeful that in time, research and medicine will finally find a cure for this insidious condition.

@Sgguy46 - I feel for you. My tinnitus has driven me to the edge of suicide, even though I have always been a very positive person. I'm glad that you have learned to cope more - I hope it gets better for all of us. Sorry about your headaches, any correlation with your T? Have you seen a specialist?

@glynis - Thank you for your uplifting words. It helps to come on this forum and hear from people that are so kind like you!

@Lorac - My tinnitus does still cause me a great deal of anxiety. I cannot hear it over everything, i.e. (shower, car, loud environments, etc) so I am scared of what will happen if I am able to hear it over everything. I will feel like I am never able to get any peace. I just have so much anger about having to quit my music, which is something I've been training for my entire life. It doesn't seem fair that I should have to give up my instrument because of this terrible condition. It really gets me down, because music has always been my purpose. I have a job and it's something I do reasonably well, but I believe it is a job that I think anyone could do. Music is something I was born to do, and my talent is being wasted because I cannot carve out a life as a musician as long as I have T and H. It drives me nuts and to the brink of suicide, sometimes. I try to be positive about what I can do, but what good is that if I can't do the thing I want to do most in the world? I'm only 27. I just feel like my future has been stolen from me, I had so many dreams...

 

Hi @Christina
Sorry to see your T & H has not got better. @I who love music still plays music despite this conditon. Perhaps he can advise you. Best wishes Phil

 

@I who love music - Any advice on getting back to music with super bad H and T? I play violin so the instrument even with earmuffs and earplugs is super painful for my ears. I'd love to find a way around it and was advised you might be able to help. What are your thoughts?

Thanks for the suggestion @Phil-O

 

Christina,
Your T may or may not get better but one thing I know, you will better adjust to it in time.
I just 'celebrated' my 5 year anniversary with T and while I still have it, I am much better able to cope with it. It took me about a year but I managed to reclaim my life. I still hear it and at times it drives me crazy but I accept those days as my bad days and have hope that tomorrow will be better. And now I hope tomorrow will be better for you as well!

 

Christina, at one point I said, "The hell with it and started playing music again." Well, that didn't last long. My T and H went bonkers. Since I did the method I'm back at music. It seems I'm a little healthier in the ear department. I play the fiddle too. A on the E string just about kills me, and double stops will give me a spike for sure. I've had to change my way of playing, and a lot of tunes are off limits, sorry to say.

 

I will have to experiment with different songs and try to figure out what might work. I appreciate your insight @I who love music

 

A few days ago was my 1 year anniversary. I am a musician also. I still make music, I just do it at a very moderate volume (I mix around 75dB, occasionally turning it up to 85dB for a few seconds at a time). I feel the broadband noise is actually useful for my ears (Tip: consumer speakers/boom boxes are not flat, frequency response wise. So if you listen to music on those, it's not really true broadband noise).

When I record with drummers, I am in a separate, isolated room so now problem there. If I have to enter the room while they're playing to adjust mics, cabling, etc., I just use heavy duty ear protection. No spikes.

The only thing that gets me down is the random episodes of transient spontaneous tinnitus because I have this overwhelming fear that one day one of those tones will appear out of nowhere and never subside, and then I'll just have to get used to that being the new "normal". The thought of THAT happening still bothers me.

 

@MidnightOilAudio - That spontaneous tinnitus also bothers me immensely. My issue is that my tinnitus is super reactive to where I get spikes that never really subside. I tried playing my violin with heavy duty ear protection, but I suffered a tremendous spike that never really went down. Just yesterday, I went to a restaurant with earplugs because it was fairly noisy and I've noticed that my T is still rather loud. I am terrified of resuming music and it really making my tinnitus much worse.... not sure why my T is so random and spikes so often. Wish I could take something or have some sort of relief from it spiking all the time.