Hope

Discussion in 'Support' started by kevin b, Mar 8, 2015.

tinnitus forum
    1. kevin b
      Fine

      kevin b Member

      Location:
      Hope well junction, NY
      Tinnitus Since:
      1/2014
      It has been slow at work so I been following the posts the last few days. It is so sad to see the immense suffering so many people are going thru. I myself after a year still struggle, but have to admit it has gotten better than when I started. One positive that has come for me is I have tried to become closer to God and when I can, not only pray for me to heal, but to pray for those struggling so with this. I know not everyone believes in God and that is certainly ok, but please do not lose hope. I can only imagine the pain and suffering those with super loud intrusive T must feel and my heart bleeds for you. I have been most fortunate to befriend a member on here who battles with loud T 24/7 but is so upbeat, I message him constantly for support and his responses to keep moving on, to never give up inspire me so. I truly believe he was sent to me, as most of us will agree this is a very difficult affliction to talk about with most people. I want to thank all the many members on here that have sent me messages of support and wisdom and hope we all seek the relief we are looking for. Though I am down right now, I pray for strength to heal and hope to be able to help those like I hav ebeen helped.
      Kevin
       
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    2. john mccluskey

      john mccluskey Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      10/10.2013
      Hi Kevin
      I'm john from scotland ive had severe tinnitus for 6weeks now both ears and I'm struggling mate. I feel like I'm just existing not living at the moment. I have two boys 7&11 and they mean the world to me . I will try and keep going for there sake but it's bloody hard to wake up each day knowing misery awaits. At the moment my god seem a vengeful one not a loving one I remember .
       
    3. billie48
      Sunshine

      billie48 Member Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador Team Research

      Location:
      Vancouver, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2009
      Thanks Kevin for that positive message. It is nice to get strengthened by praying to Cod. Yes, it is important to learn & get support from others who are positive and upbeat about T. There are struggling members, but there are also those who have recovered from the suffering. Try to get support from members who can help you. Learn their approach & insight. Don't let T be the master. It is just a sound. Our reaction to this sound determines its intrusiveness. It doesn't have to be life threatening be it very annoying at times. What is important is to change from threatening to annoying or to neutral. It takes time to do it. I hope you keep on improving and be well in time.

      John, sorry that you are suffering much with your T. I know what you mean that our love ones can keep us soldiering on with T. Perhaps turn the thinking positively by using your perseverance with suffering from T to show the boys that in time of challenges we need to persevere with patience, with a positive attitude, never quitting and ever still loving. We can turn negativity into positivity by following the advice of Romans 5:3-5 where we are exhorted to 'Rejoice in our sufferings' and use that as a process to build stamina in our character.

      I had to use this strategy a few years back when my T & H turned me into a mess and my family suffered. It dawned on me that T & H, besides ruining me, was beginning to ruin my family. So I said 'NO WAY'. I humanize T as my most hated bully, punching me and knocking me down and then charging towards my family, threatening to hurt them. I said I would fight you, the T bully, and I would shield it from my love ones. If T turned my life into a hell, I want to make sure my family would live like heaven in return to protect them. I decided to ignore all my sufferings and turn myself into a 'compost' of sort (which is dead & has no feeling towards any suffering sensation). This is like in nature where a mother plant will compost itself so it becomes the nutrients for the seedling plants generating around the mother plant. I decided to ignore or be dead to all my suffering sensations by focusing on their needs instead of my own pains.

      Well by putting their needs, their security and happiness before my own, I decided to just give them my best. I massaged my weak wife daily and hugged and kissed the family generously, serving and treating them well. Whenever I felt down & depressed by T, I would imagine this T bully charging towards my family and I got up on my knees & move on by living for them and for others. No more personal moan & groan. I even volunteered for Food Bank (a charitable org here) to collect foods. I put on an ipod with masking sounds and just walked around to 100s of homes to distribute flyers and then went back to collect donated foods a few days later. I still have good legs and hands as well as good vision. So I could do this for my family and others. I went back to fishing for salmon (my hobby) which I stopped when T hit and I provide lots of great fresh seafood for them. I dared my T & H to go out and re-live my life again. The hell with T. This proves I am still quite useful and valuable despite the ultra high pitch dog whistle and the H. When the ringing got ultra loud, I just imagine myself as a driller/miner in the 3rd world having to work with this annoying sound for long shift daily for life w/o ear protection. Heck, many of them are glad to have this job to feed the family. I would take this imperfect analogy just so I could have my life back by not worrying about this mad ringing.

      While T tried to destroy me (and so my family), I fought back with whatever I could, acceptance, patience, positivitiy, caring for others, mental imagery, even considering myself a compost (dead to negative feelings & discomforts) but contributing richly to the lives of my love ones and others. When I changed my old ways of feeling miserable for self, getting depressed, angry, negative, anxious etc. to the new ways of willing to peacefully co-exist with T by the means mentioned above, T just slowly becomes a paper tiger. It can still scream at the top of its lung, but I don't give a dime any more. Not just me, my body finally catches up and won't react to this T bully negatively like before. T's tyranny over me is over. Good life can still be back.

      So have faith and hope for the future. Never give up. God is still loving and merciful. He doesn't guarantee us a good or perfect life in this temporary stay on this earth. His promise is eternal life in the life after. The devil can still inflict pains in people's life like illnesses. Christ had to cast out the devils often during his earthly ministry. Nevertheless, He provides us the teachings to help us soldier on in this life and you will find rich teachings in the scriptures (like Romans 5:3-5), and Christ sets the perfect example of caring for others while at the cross, praying for those who were crucifying Him. So, don't give up on ourselves, and please don't give up on the loving God.
       
    4. NiNyu

      NiNyu Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      29/12/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      barotrauma? stress?
      Same here. And I do wonder when this nightmare finally stops.
       
    5. kevin b
      Fine

      kevin b Member

      Location:
      Hope well junction, NY
      Tinnitus Since:
      1/2014
      HI John,
      I hear you brother. I developed terrible depression before T even arrived and every day was a struggle. I hate to say but if not for my 3 kids I don't know if I would still be here. Time is slowly beginning to heal me and I am getting chunks of the day when life looks good again. You MUST fight for your sons, they need you! I promise you if you try to do little things slowly at first that bring you some joy you can beat this and start to move on with your life. I believe God is there for you if you talk to him. give him your problems, ask for direction. I will pray fro you, reach out to me anytime, we must keep hope!
      God Bless,
      Kevin
       

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