How to Go on When Everything Seems to Be Falling Apart!

[valeri]

So after 5 years of struggle with drone noise which affected me in so many ways (family, marriage, friends, my happines and purpose of life overall.....), now I have reactive hissing with ear pain that is very likely to cost me my job.

I'm not a workaholic but loosing that last thing that I could do would be the end of me.

I've lost a purpose of living as is so this would be the last blow I could take.

I'm clueless why I have all the above symptoms since 3 months ago but working in dental environment is impossible.
I took last Friday off and the message from my boss was one of frustration and almost threatening.
I simply could not put myself through another noisy day. My ears feel wasted.
I really don't know what to do

 

[MikeP505]

I really don't know what to do

I certainly know what you are going thru. I have lost just about everything including my job. I am hanging onto threads of hope and of cure. It's now a very delicate balance to remain sane. Work for me was always enjoyable. Since losing all my hearing now, and suffering this damn tinnitus, it has flipped my life around unbelievably. It has taken quite awhile to find other purposes in my life. I know I am still useful. I know there is so much I can still do. I fight to keep myself from a depressive state daily. In time, everyone can adjust to a different life. You need to be strong and accept some changes. This is the hardest part of what we all suffer.

Big hugs to you. I know I cannot provide you with answers and much help, but I am always here if you need to vent, like so many other great people on this site. Don't give up the fight!!

Mike

 

[Michael B]

I have a friend who was in the dental profession and needed to leave it due to tinnitus. I myself retired years before I had planned to as a result of tinnitus. Like Mike said, adjustments need to be made but you will get through this. We all do somehow or another.

 

[JasonP]

So after 5 years of struggle with drone noise which affected me in so many ways (family, marriage, friends, my happines and purpose of life overall.....), now I have reactive hissing with ear pain that is very likely to cost me my job.

I'm not a workaholic but loosing that last thing that I could do would be the end of me.

I've lost a purpose of living as is so this would be the last blow I could take.

I'm clueless why I have all the above symptoms since 3 months ago but working in dental environment is impossible.
I took last Friday off and the message from my boss was one of frustration and almost threatening.
I simply could not put myself through another noisy day. My ears feel wasted.
I really don't know what to do

I might be ignorant here but what if you got custom molds for RIC hearing aids and then you could plug your ears with them and just have the outside noise programmed on the hearing aid for a safe level of sound. You can also get a hearing aid with masking sounds. I hope you feel better soon...I know this can be tough.

 

[valeri]

My boss, years ago, during my work performance review, commented that my tinnitus is "an old news".
Big mistake I made back than that I even mentioned I have it.
So since then I have never ever mentioned it in front of her.
Now I feel trapped because my situation has gone worse and I don't feel comfortable talking to her.
I understand her position as a manager, but for a woman in her mind 40's whose biggest loss in life was a loss of her dog last year (yes, yes i know it's hard to believe but people like that exist), I feel more than scared that she will have any undestanding for the position I'm in

 

[valeri]

I certainly know what you are going thru. I have lost just about everything including my job. I am hanging onto threads of hope and of cure. It's now a very delicate balance to remain sane. Work for me was always enjoyable. Since losing all my hearing now, and suffering this damn tinnitus, it has flipped my life around unbelievably. It has taken quite awhile to find other purposes in my life. I know I am still useful. I know there is so much I can still do. I fight to keep myself from a depressive state daily. In time, everyone can adjust to a different life. You need to be strong and accept some changes. This is the hardest part of what we all suffer.

Big hugs to you. I know I cannot provide you with answers and much help, but I am always here if you need to vent, like so many other great people on this site. Don't give up the fight!!

Mike

Mike I'm not sure how old you were when you stopped working but at the age of 43 I'm far from willing to sit at home.
Maybe is less devastating if you're are close to retirement anyway.

 

[valeri]

I might be ignorant here but what if you got custom molds for RIC hearing aids and then you could plug your ears with them and just have the outside noise programmed on the hearing aid for a safe level of sound. You can also get a hearing aid with masking sounds. I hope you feel better soon...I know this can be tough.

It's the reactive t that is causing me problems at the moment.
So having some noise directly in my ears would be impossible.

 

[JasonP]

It's the reactive t that is causing me problems at the moment.
So having some noise directly in my ears would be impossible.

I understand. What if you just got the custom molds and the hearing aid set at a low volume?

 

[MikeP505]

Mike I'm not sure how old you were when you stopped working

I was 47 when I lost all hearing!

 

[OnceUponaTime]

@valeri My dear Valerie... I so often pray for you my friend. It has been 5 years for me and exactly like you described it. Very, very hard thing to deal with. I do not know what to say... I am sure you have tried many different things to get some relief. It must be difficult for you to work at a dentist office... maybe you can change jobs??? I know is easier said than done, but maybe you can start looking for something else. Do you have family support?? Have you tried CBT?

I hope you feel better soon. I pray God gives you peace Val... Sending you a big hug.

 

[valeri]

@valeri My dear Valerie... I so often pray for you my friend. It has been 5 years for me and exactly like you described it. Very, very hard thing to deal with. I do not know what to say... I am sure you have tried many different things to get some relief. It must be difficult for you to work at a dentist office... maybe you can change jobs??? I know is easier said than done, but maybe you can start looking for something else. Do you have family support?? Have you tried CBT?

I hope you feel better soon. I pray God gives you peace Val... Sending you a big hug.

Thank you Mary, my prayers are with you too!
I have decided to cut back to two days a week, hopefully temporarily if that b...h of a boss will have any understanding, I'm not holding my breath though.
But I need to do what's right for me and she needs to do what's right for the department.
Will see how things go.

 

[Mario martz]

Hey Valeri,
Maybe is ignorant for me to say, since im not in your position.
but... i dont think its good to work for a woman who is not understading with her crew.
if that womans big loss have been her dogs, she probably dont know anything about life.
i thinks its time to find a diffent place to work.

i know it feels completely hopeless when tinnitus is "taking" something away from you
but you can overcome this and find something else.
im not sure if this helps, but my mother was disabled, got a weird sickness at the young age of 27
she had my sisters back then, and after a few years she manges her self to land a job
(there werent many opportunities for people in wheelchair in mexico)
but in time she found a job in sales and she did amazing.
she even tooks us to disney twice, asia, and mexican beaches with all the money she was making,
even with all the limitations and that she only found a job in sales because of her condition.

all im saying is that you can do this, find another place to work, or find a new job.
you are strong!!

 

[Michael Leigh]

i dont think its good to work for a woman who is not understading with her crew.

Unfortunately there are many people like Valeri's boss in this world and they don't have to be your employer. Often these kind of people are in our own family.

 

[valeri]

Hey Valeri,
Maybe is ignorant for me to say, since im not in your position.
but... i dont think its good to work for a woman who is not understading with her crew.
if that womans big loss have been her dogs, she probably dont know anything about life.
i thinks its time to find a diffent place to work.

i know it feels completely hopeless when tinnitus is "taking" something away from you
but you can overcome this and find something else.
im not sure if this helps, but my mother was disabled, got a weird sickness at the young age of 27
she had my sisters back then, and after a few years she manges her self to land a job
(there werent many opportunities for people in wheelchair in mexico)
but in time she found a job in sales and she did amazing.
she even tooks us to disney twice, asia, and mexican beaches with all the money she was making,
even with all the limitations and that she only found a job in sales because of her condition.

all im saying is that you can do this, find another place to work, or find a new job.
you are strong!!

Unfortunately looking for a new job is not something I would be capable to handle.
New job, new people, more stress... no way.
Things are too hard as they are.
Bosses/people like her are everywhere.
I would be happy if she would allow me to temporarily cut back Friday's so I work only two days.
i just have to work with what I've got, it is what it is.

 

[DebInAustralia]

Like i said to you on the phone today Val, it will blow over. If you meet with your manager, i urge you to think about a witness in the event that the meeting doesnt go well.

 

[Foncky]

Unfortunately looking for a new job is not something I would be capable to handle.
New job, new people, more stress... no way.
Things are too hard as they are.
Bosses/people like her are everywhere.
I would be happy if she would allow me to temporarily cut back Friday's so I work only two days.
i just have to work with what I've got, it is what it is.

Valeri, a new job might mean a new way to work. Like an online business operated from home. But I know, it's not always easy or possible to get into something completely different from before. Just don't forget there are many ways to earn nowadays.

 

[Lorac]

@valeri ,
I know what you mean about masking. If you react to all sound, then you react to masking sounds also. I think working two days per week is a good solution. You maintain some purpose and socialization but you are able to rest your ears on the days off. I chose early retirement because of my ears and I do feel sorry for younger people on this forum who don't have that option. I hope you can work things out with your boss.

 

[PaulBe]

Val, is there an argument for a workplace injury that your boss is wary of? Dentistry and HF hearing damage go together quite well.

 

[valeri]

Val, is there an argument for a workplace injury that your boss is wary of? Dentistry and HF hearing damage go together quite well.

Paul I work I dental radiology dpt, so not directly with dentists but we are across from an emergency clinic that is making a fair bit of noise (damn open plan design).
I'm dreading this Friday!

 

[Bobby B]

My father is a dentist and lost quite a bit of high frequency hearing due to drills I think

Maybe try wearing filtered plugs ?

 

[Alue]

Unfortunately looking for a new job is not something I would be capable to handle.
New job, new people, more stress... no way.
Things are too hard as they are.
Bosses/people like her are everywhere.
I would be happy if she would allow me to temporarily cut back Friday's so I work only two days.
i just have to work with what I've got, it is what it is.

I understand this completely. I took a job that was well below my skill level that paid a lot less than what I used to make. Then I got permanently injured on said job. The job itself isn't too bad, although I have to work around noisy areas occasionally I have a lot of downtime, but I feel stuck in this job. I was looking to buy a house before this injury, but I'm not sure if I should now.

 

[zombiechick]

@MikeP505 how did you lose your hearing so young?

 

[MikeP505]

how did you lose your hearing so young?

Hi Zombie.

Well I never was really kind to my ears and was a drummer in many various local bands and performed at all kinds of pubs and events over the years. I used some hearing protection at times, but not all the time. This was the initial onset of my tinnitus but had no real effect on my hearing at the time. I had a mild case of tinnitus, easy to ignore and knew I needed to better protect my hearing. So I did!! I bought the best headsets for gigs and rehearsals and was much more mindful of my ears from the mild tinnitus. I even lectured a few of my mates I played with to be more careful.

So life was running along just fine. Good job, good friends, good times and all around no complaints.

Then I started feeling weak. A little cranky and getting weaker. Went to the doctor, hospitals etc for tests and they found nothing. Gave me prescripts for useless antibiotics and other things. " Take these and call me in a week" basically. Slowly getting worse. Back to the hospital, tests, take these....... Sheesh! Well one day I'm too weak to get out of bed. I call a friend to take me into emergency. Finally........... they found my issue. I had a totally blocked left kidney (only one I have) and required emergency surgery or I would die. I was pissed it took so long to get a diagnosis but...... had the surgery to remove the stones (boulders in my case) and was sent home a day later. Two days after that, I woke up almost totally deaf and my tinnitus was raging loud. Nothing ever improved. I believe I was administered a drug known as a "slow push drug" for renal failure. This drug may have been given to me too quickly?? Dunno for sure but it makes sense.

Life goes on tho. Took a long time to accept all of this but once you do, you can easily carry on.

How about you? Why do you suffer? Love the picture BTW. Baby looks happy!

 

[zombiechick]

@MikeP505 I am not absolutely certain but I think it is due to medication. I took clonazepam for a long time and when I attempted to go off of it I woke up to it. No loud noises but I do have a hearing loss. Either way, when I was pregnant it got really bad. So bad that I worried that I wouldn't be there for my son. It's a tiny bit better and my son is a happy distraction. And thank you, he's an adorable little guy.
Also, I'm sorry for your early hearing loss and tinnitus. It sounds rough!

 

[MikeP505]

Also, I'm sorry for your early hearing loss and tinnitus. It sounds rough!

Well thanks Zombie however there is nothing for you to be sorry about. Things happen in life. Once you get passed all the depression, anger, guilt, anxiety, darkness and total frustration from lack of support medically and with family/friends, you pretty much accept things and move on. I focus less on being anal about a cure or fix and more on the special moments in life.

I still try things now and then to reduce my tinnitus. I never expect anything to work but will continue to look just the same but not focus strictly on this. Currently waiting for a shipment of "Er Long Zuo Ci Wan". This is a Chinese herbal remedy I was told about that helped a trusted member here. Was cheap enough to purchase and even had free shipping so why not.

It's simply a new life. Not the one I was expecting to live but it is what it is. The less I stress over it, the better I feel. I researched tinnitus to death and know full well I now must surrender to this noise. It effects me much less now that I made friends with it.

Same goes for hearing loss. I'm going in for a Cochlear Implant soon (hopefully). Currently on the waiting list at one of the top 3 hospitals in the world to have this implant done. In the meantime, life goes on.....

Best wishes to you and your family. Make the best of everything and enjoy watching that cute little guy grow and learn.

Regards.

 

[MikeP505]

I really don't know what to do

Hope your feeling a little better these days Val. We are thinking about you.

 

[valeri]

Hope your feeling a little better these days Val. We are thinking about you.

Today's the day!

 

[glynis]

Are you ok @valeri ....lots of love glynis

 

[valeri]

Are you ok @valeri ....lots of love glynis

As good as it gets for me.
Hope you are feeling better!

 

[coffee_girl]

Hello, I don't know you but I hope you are doing well...many wishes of health and happiness your way <3