I Have Never Been More Pissed Off About Tinnitus in My Life Than Today

I was doing really well last week. Felt positive, then had a problem after my hearing aids were adjusted. I couldn't mask any of the ringing last Saturday night which led to me being upset and then cascaded for a few days until I was able to get my hearing aids adjusted a few days later for full blast masking. However, since I got new tinnitus back in December it screws up my masking and interrupts the masking to make it annoying anyway. I wasn't using my masking most of last week so I was okay.

I have been taking Lamictal to help me deal with the depression and taking Klonopin for years now. Klonopin actually lowered the T at first but then increased it as years went by. If it weren't for this f'ing T, I would have been off the Klonopin.

Also, if it weren't for this new T, taking the Lamictal would have enabled me to get off it. I'm pissed like I have never been before in my life about this. I felt like throwing a bunch of stuff around in the kitchen and breaking things (didn't do it) last night. People invite me to do things the past few years and I have been so depressed by the T (off and on) that I miss out on about 70 percent of it.

Now, hardly anyone calls. I hear the T all the time except in the shower and sometimes it sounds like fingernails on a chalkboard. Other times like crickets. Other times like a metal bristles of a brush being flicked. The new T pisses the F out of me because the hearing aid guy f'ed up and put the high amplification on the wrong program and I was exposed to very very loud noise when I rolled down the window. They are supposed to clip anyway but didn't. I was doing well but now I am so pissed. I just took some Klonopin so I will see if that calms me down. I was trying to come off of it but oh well.

Should I go to the doctor and demand Potiga? The piss part is, the Lamictal took it down some and I'm still more pissed than ever about tinnitus I got in December. Would Potiga take it to where I don't hear it? I checked goodrx.com and they want over 1000 dollars for it and I don't have insurance.

I don't have epilespy so I don't even know if the company would give me a discount. Has anyone felt so pissed off you wanted to break things?

 

Tinnitus can be real mental torture making you so frustrated and want to throw objects.
All that I can say is keep going see your doctor to find what medication works best for you with tinnitus and feeling low or have depression.
Talking therapy is a great support also and really helped me when everything got to much....lots of love glynis

 

I'm sorry that it has bothered you that much buddy. you have to be strong about this, this is the choice you have in life. My tinnitus is so so so loud that showers do not help, cars honking at me are overtaken by the loudness of this tinnitus.

This stuff is not easy and yes it gets me at times too. My advice would be to try to just relax yourself, i do this by listening to low to mid level music on my iphone or going to the gym or just having a glass on red wine and feeding my ducks. You, myself and others on this forum are special chosen people, we can handle this demon and still live our lives.

Yes, the tinnitus is annoying and id give my life to have one day of silence again, i been asking god that for almost 30 years. Just relax and try to get mellow and distract yourself from this beast.

If i was near you bro, i'd give you a hug and prolly shed a tear because i know the HELL you and others go through and you HAVE no choice but to learn how to cope with it.

I am not all for medication and trippy pills because in the end , they make the tinnitus worst and the withdrawls are utter HELL.

Relax yourself, if you have to mask your tinnitus and your hearing aid doesnt do it, then just listening to a masking vid on your iphone.

You are a special person, as is all on this forum and god does have a purpose for all of us

Be blessed

 

Sorry to hear man. Yeah I've broken things. It's turned me into a raging animal at times, not in a while though. I've been beaten down by it for a while now and don't have the energy to get mad these days, I'm kind of a zombie actually.

How loud do you turn the masking? Is it white noise? I find I can mask portions of my T (T that doesn't bother me) but the high pitched noises peak through like every few seconds even with very loud white noise. I would turn it really loud to get some comfort but it is painful and I don't want to damage my hearing further. I mask with headphones, it's very tough to tell how loud it is and what would be considered safe.

Also. Have you tried bone conduction headphones for masking? They leave the ear open, sound travels through the bone instead. They are full spectrum sound unlike your hearing aids.

 

I'd go and ask the doctor to wean you off all the drugs.
You can't live on that stuff - and as you already have T you don't also want the baggage of dependance on pharmaceuticals. Take it from Señor Estupido (me) who learned the hard way with drugs.
Jumping from this drug to that drug for T is a waste of time IMO and a potential disaster.

 

I guess I am so pissed off because

I think I have to take Lamital because of severe depressive or anxiety swings even before T. If I did not have T my life would be so much better but I would still be depressed or anxious every now and then.

 

Hey I might look into that. After I took the Klonopin I was able to calm down some about the tinnitus and it seem to go down a notch. What really pisses me off is that if it wasn't for this new Tinnitus I got in December, I probably wouldn't notice it in more ambient noise environments due to the Lamictal lowering it some. Now it is like metal bristle sounds clicking erraticly. I am fortunate that this time the Klonopin lowered the tinnitus some and relaxed me after I took the Lamictal. I may look into the bone conduction earphones..I appreciate all your help.

 

@Telis
What are bone conducting headphones? First time I've heard of it.

 

The ones I use are aftershokz, they are okay, maybe other manufactures are better though, not sure. I've only tried just them.

 

Believe me I've been way more pissed off than that. I feel your pain, though. This condition feeds off stress and anger.

 

The white noise is a SShhhhh sound...kind of like a smooth white noise. I am not sure how loud it is but my brother can hear it a few feet away from me when I am wearing them. It doesn't mask the fluctuating whistle (wish it did) nor does it mask the new sounds I got in December. Instead the masker is even less smooth due to the clicking of the white noise. I already suffered with depression episodes before but this has been the worst thing I have delt with ever. It has been my main problem the past 3 years. I am fortunate that Lamictal has lowered the ringing some. I would just like it to be able to be masked and to be out in a store and not hear it.

On another note, have you tried any anti convulsants for your condition? I wonder if it might get your brain functioning better. I'm not doctor though. Maybe if the ENT doesn't help you can go to a neurologist because of the brain damage you had when you hit your head on the wall. Man, I don't know how you do it. I would probably have to take major tranquilizers like Seroquel or something which I really would not want to do.

 

I barely do man. I drink and smoke, pace the house a lot, shower constantly. Prior to this I was a health nut and didn't smoke, was work out junky. I'm now fat (eat to try and feel something good) and don't look like I did in my pic that is posted here, that was taken about 2 weeks before this hell started. So yeah I grab things to cope, just not your typical drugs. Ive always been very strong mentally but not enough to handle this apparently.

I'm going to go see a neurological ent so I don't know, maybe he will recommend drugs, not sure. To be honest, I don't really have any faith at all in drugs sorting this out. Although, interesting that lamictal (whatever that is) helped lower the ringing for you. I am getting to the point where I could try anything to get some relief. For the last couple of years I have tried to hold off thinking that things had to improve. I was wrong. Now I'm tired and ready to maybe even be drugged up, I don't know, I'm just so against all that shit but at the same time don't have anything to loose it seems.

 

I understand that. I tried the natural route and I would have been okay with it if it weren't for this T. The fish oil actually increased my T. I am thinking it had to do with glutamate but I could be wrong. I think with a lot of people it won't. I have heard of some people doing a klonopin plus neurontin combo which helps some but not others. That's if you get really desperate in my opinion. Lamictal has helped me but might not do anything for others. Trileptal has helped some but I think it didn't help me. Same with Lyrica. I saw another study where they said people combined melatonin with sulpride and had some success but I don't think sulpride is availabe in canada or the u.s. Maybe you could ask for a few weeks supply of Valium to see if that can take a little of the edge of your T. I would hope there is something that could help.

 

Cheers, that's a little different..

 

Yeah, I would but it wouldn't be this frequent or this debilitating.