I Need Positive Support...

I had previously posted about a concert worsening my T late November - along with this came fullness in my ears and the clicking and crackling when I swallowed, and then it had gotten better again. My T was almost back to what it was before November, and the fullness and crackling was gone. Then last wednesday somebody in my office slammed the microwave door, which I was sitting right next to and immediately my ear became full and started to burn horribly. This was a new...H, I suppose ? Since then T is so loud again, and my ear is still full and painful.

I'm going over the deep end. I don't know what to do. I don't want to be here anymore.

 

Well don't panic. I have had hypheracusis and T since December. Goes up and down and noise exposure makes it worse. Clicking and cracking in ears when swallowing can be quite normal. I have suffered with this for years prior to T. Stress and lack of sleep makes it worse...I would goto to doctors and get them to check if there is fluid behind ear drum...

 

@Steve H So is there any hope from your perspective of your own experience, that the T will dull down again?

 

I get that fullness. It was what made me panic most I think. It took me a while to realize it was tension from stress and worry, which was then feeding back on itself from my reaction to it. When you're able to relax a bit, distract yourself, it will all subside enough for you to stop worrying about it. Some days it comes back, and even just putting cutlery in the dishwasher will make my ears "clench". I just know it's stress and tiredness now and so don't worry about it so much. I hope things get better for you (and my expectation is that they will).

 

@DezDog,

Just the sentence "putting cutlery in the dishwasher" made me make a lemon face. I'm in a very stressed period now cause I just started working again (yes, I'm mad) after many years off the job market. Stress is gasoline on the fire but we all gotta make a living. I'm reading stress management books and try to cope. Your point is right on.

@demi,

We need to grasp hope and read success stories.

 

I always have the worst luck with loud sounds as well. Just today someone at work smashed the kitchen cabinet door, but I feel like if I were to wear ear plugs everywhere I would become even more sensitive to sounds and I don't know if that's a good idea.

But don't worry you'll be good, microwave door shutting can't be much more than 90 to 100 dB and only for a fraction of second, it's nothing really. Going to a concert is that amount of loudness for a whole night.

 

Demi, I am so sorry for what you are going thru!! It sucks major!! But please don't lose hope or give up!!! I have been to the deep end, it sucks!!! Don't let it win! Get help, medical, psychological , emotional, spiritual !! T is so lame, but we can overcome together!! Stay connected! Stay strong (with a little cry session every once in awhile!)!!

 

To cry is deliberating, some times I'm so full of locked up madness towards my condition that I don't dare to openly cry. But today Ive been sitting alone in my dark bathroom crying my pain away. The first week in a new job where the stress is massive and so is the expectations, it's like everyone is looking at me expecting a miracle. My T is screaming loud and constant, but what do they know about that? Nothing! That's how it is. Having T&H is very lonely live, cause if you discuss it with "kreti & pleti neither of them understand what it is.

Thats why its good to have TT, here we can share both success stories and complain about T going increasingly louder. This Monday ended up with me stepping off the last bus thinking if this life is worth more than a lethal dose of a strong smack. A massive dose that would get me Higher than a kite, resulting in total piece. And then there will be no more. Just eternal piece.

 

Demi,
it will go better. It's just a matter of time. It's very important you take anxiety under control - in case, talk to your doctor.
All the best

 

you know what I cried also, when I had realized my noise stopped for about 15 seconds, its a shame I wasted those precious seconds crying instead of enjoying, I understand your madness, I'm sure we all feel it my friend, nothing wrong with crying, if it helps you to try and make sense of our madness...my friend

 

it gets better demi, takes about 4 months to start to make adjustments..hang tough

 

Demi I've had spikes in my T as well as in pressure and fullness which come and go due to loud noise exposure, stress and lack of sleep (this is a big trigger for me). I never know from one day to the next what I'm up against when it comes to ear pain and T. Some days are better than others...but i still live life fearing the unknown about the future (rising T, unforeseen loud noises, dental work, etc). I know I need to live in the present but this is something that is a very tough challenge for us all and it's hard not to freak out about it!

 

@Markku More so, not many responses to go off of, but many views. I just was discourage from posting more, though I don't know where else to turn for support.

I just am so scared, I don't know how to handle this.

 

Demi, i feel the same way, i can't figure out what to do ... i can't live my life in constant fear, how do you feel ...

 

Very pleased to hear this! What a massive step forwards

 

Thanks. First week felt like running a marathon. Feeling like everyone else is having a ball while I'm sitting there listening to my T going on like crazy. It's in situations like that you feel alone, thinking that all them other people are living cheerful lives with no T. But who knows, perhaps someone there has the same condition. I'm taking this comeback one step at the time, hoping to pass the 6 month mark as my first goal.

 

Demi, don't worry so much. The stress is adding on your suffering. It can get better. A few years back I was very anxious and scared like you. I had really bad high pitch tinnitus, like a cross of jet engine and kettle. I also had hyperacusis. I had daily anxiety and panic attacks. My ears felt full and the hyperacusis turned all normal sounds piercingly hurtful. I was suicidal. But today I am back to normal living a full and enjoyable life. So don't give up hope. Things will get better over time as others have posted. Believe it and don't worry too much.

 

Having had this for 1 month myself. I have good and bad days. Today was bad but yesterday was fine. The thing about this condition is its quite a bit about your state of mind. Rest enough and avoid stress. But even then it can spike for no reason.

 

Hey Per, congratulations! I have to tell you that while some days it was really, really hard to sit at my desk or talk on the phone with my tinnitus blaring, I credit work with keeping me sane during my early months. My psychiatrist and my barotrauma specialist both advised me against taking short-term leave, unless I couldn't bear being it otherwise, saying that then it would just be me, my ringing ears and my anxiety alone all day. They were right and I am glad I gutted it out.

Nothing like a super busy job to keep you distracted. And my co-workers have been super supportive and understanding. Maybe I am just lucky. Anyway, I hope you have the same experience.

 

It's in situations like that you feel alone, thinking that all them other people are living cheerful lives with no T. But who knows, perhaps someone there has the same condition.

Oh, and @Per and to others, I did want to mention this.
I also felt so alone when I first came down with tinnitus, plus had to deal with the terrible anxiety and panic. But then this amazing thing happened. As I decided to talk a little about my tinnitus, and reach out for help, I was shocked to discover so many people had tinnitus and/or severe anxiety -- and I never had known. Here are some of them:

Our long-time photo editor at the newspaper (got T while serving on an aircraft carrier in the Air Force.)

My minister (had T since she was a teenager. She also is an excellent professional musician. How she does it I don't know.)

One of my former students from the high school group I run as a volunteer (had tinnitus since she was a young child. She is getting ready to finish medical school and start her internship soon, and just got married.)

A top inner-ear surgeon and university medical school department head who I went to for a special consultation (had tinnitus since he was a young man and wears hearing aids/maskers in both ears.)

One of the smartest, most competent women I know; she works for the military and speaks multiple languages (had crippling anxiety so severe after the birth of her first child that she had to leave her job for a year and was unable to walk out of her house for months.)

Our entertainment editor, a very upbeat guy and respected professional (got tinnitus suddenly a year ago, following a concert, and also initially had an anxiety reaction. He was a tremendous help to me in my early days).

So remember: We are not alone. Bet you would be surprised how many people you know and respect who have tinnitus and anxiety, and have learned to cope. Don't be afraid to talk about your T. These people can come forward and help you.

 

@LadyDi,

Thanks, I bookmarked your post and I'll try to use it as a positive reminder.

 

Things will get better! I thought my life was over a few years back, but things are only half bad now. There is hope!
Keep with it looking for answers. We are all looking and finding relief along the way.
What I found helps me is that I started out walking with my ipod playing music for relief, I now run with my ipod playing music. somedays it is barly noticable. I thought it was gone for good at times. sometimes for more than a day.
Then it comes back, but there is hope! Lets stick together looking for relief and answers. I think we will find it here.

 

Hi Peter, I'm a newbie myself since Dec. 10, 2013. Thanks for the positive words. I'm trying to live as normal as possible. The most difficult is sleeping even napping. I'm on Remeron 7.5mg for sleep right now going between a fan at night and music under my pillow. At least I'm getting 5-6 hours sleep but need to go to bed a bit later so I don't get up too early because then I can't sleep.

 

Hi Lynette, mine since Dec 2013. I have pressure too thought it was just me. I went to get my hair colored today and the shampoo bowl along with dryer brought a spike but what do you do? We have to stay positive.

 

What a kind thing to say, @Per. Thanks. You made my day.