I See No Hope After My Tinnitus Got Worse, 6 Months and I Cannot Go On.

Discussion in 'Support' started by NohopeLeft, May 31, 2016.

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    1. NohopeLeft

      NohopeLeft Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2010, worse 2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Not known, worsening out of nowhere.

      I got tinnitus in 2010, i had a rough time with it in the beginning but I got used to it and lived with it for 5 years without any issues.
      It was not bad tinnitus back then, It was fairly mild-moderate T.

      December 2015 it got worse for no reason, it just came out of nowhere, and it got much much worse.
      It is so loud that it overpowers everything, before I could mask it no problem with some games, tv, being outdoor in the world.

      Now nothing can mask it, not even cricket sounds mask it.

      I first of all got a new low base buzzing sound in my right ear which was my more healthy ear before.
      And the left I have morsecode, metallic shrill and a very high pitched shrill. Non of these are a constant tone but shifts constant which makes it even worse.

      I tried to read success stories, but 90%+ of those contains things like "I used to plug my ears to see if it was still there" "I had such trouble sleeping or being in quite environment" and so on. I cannot get any help from those because that was what I lived with for 5 years without any issues at all. It was no problem.
      Now however I am at the end.

      Its been 6 months, and I feel I am just getting worse and worse in terms of handling it, I just cannot handle it when it is this loud, it is not possible to live with this. And with live I mean LIVE, not survive every single day with a sliver.

      I just dont know what to do. I been to therapist etc, did not help. I tried taking AD which did not work since I am extremely sensitive to ADs (tried a bunch many years ago)
      Supplements etc do nothing at all.

      Is there even any hope to live with REALLY loud tinnitus, not the type where you hardly hear it or only hear it when its quite or can easy mask it with tv, outdoor etc like I could before.

      Its just not fair, got T from nothing, it got worse from nothing, I am just broken down to the core of myself.

      Sorry for the rant but I just dont know what to do anymore, 6 months of struggle every single day and I am running out of steam to keep staying alive.
      • Hug Hug x 5
    2. fishbone

      fishbone Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      loud noise and very bad sickness
      My tinnitus is super loud...a mack truck can honk at me and my tinnitus is still louder. Life is a special gift and you can live with this loud tinnitus. I have been through a crazy life and could have met my maker many times. Tinnitus is horrible but I choose not to give it power. Hypnosis can possibly help you, I got my ear buds on at nights and I listen to music on my iphone.

      ending life because of tinnitus is not fair to you or your family, it is hard but all can cope and adapt to this stuff, yes it is very hard but all can cope.

      If you need support PM me

      I guess my strength comes from the difficult life i have lived and still live, just makes my skin tougher than most...

      Be well :)
    3. meeruf

      meeruf Member Benefactor Team Awareness

      Tinnitus Since:
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      It gets better. I know you have heard it a million times before, but it is actually true.

      My tinnitus was superloud when it started. It took a good 1.5 year before it settled. It still spikes at times and sometimes it is just really loud. However, it has just been easier and easier to live with. You kind of identify with the sound with time, instead of rejecting it. Might sound like some hippy stuff but it's not.

      Today I had a really loud day. It's not fun, but it's not a big deal either. It is what it is... Sometimes it can be loud, but still I'm not noticing it. Strange, but it is true.

      Do you see my avatar picture? That was from last september. I went to Thailand ALONE with my crazy ears. I had a blast, met a lot of cool people, lived with a beautiful Thai girl in Phuket for 10 days, that actually came and visited me this Christmas in Norway. It took almost 3 years to get to that point, but it eventually worked at. In my worst time I thought my life was over and that I would never be able to do anything again like travel or just relax out with friends.

      Guess what, in only 8 days I go back to Thailand again. This time alone too, and I stay for 6 weeks, and I'm planning to enjoy every moment of that trip, tinnitus or not...

      Yes, sometimes I have to step back, take a moment and relax. Get myself together again, but a lot of people have it that way because of some reason, not only tinnitus.

      How is your mood? Mood can influence Tinnitus ALOT i think. If you are depressed or have anxiety even the mildest tinnitus can become severe and impossible to ignore. If you have a strong mind and are in balance I think even the loudest tinnitus can be completely ignored by the mind. How is your diet? Do you exercise?

      I know it's not fair, or at least that it feels very unfair. But that is just life, sometimes life hits you with a hammer in the face. No mercy. For you it is tinnitus, for another person it is cancer after getting a child, for a Norwegian teen last year it was loosing two legs and an arm because he was stupid to climb to close to a high-voltage line on a brigde..

      Just contact me on PM if you want to talk. I have skype too if you need that..
    4. Telis

      Telis Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      There is no one in the world that can answer this question. What is really loud T? It can't be measured accurately so no one knows. Maybe it gets to a certain volume and it's humanly impossible, who knows right? Everyone likes to brag about how loud their T is and how they are so tough, you won't really know what they experience, you only know what you experience, you can only really deal with that, that's it.
      • Agree Agree x 3
    5. NohopeLeft

      NohopeLeft Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2010, worse 2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Not known, worsening out of nowhere.
      Thank you for the answers.
      I do have quite a lot of anxiety issues. To say the least I do not enjoy my life.
      Even if you put aside tinnitus I live alone, I hardly have any friends (I dont have any to hang out with, mostly a few far away that I can skype with from time to time), I have no job and the only family I have left is my mother which I cannot turn to with my tinnitus because its not fair to her and she is not the "supportive" type more the get over it personality which I am very far from sadly.

      I am out of shape, overweight, I try to focus on my health especially after it got worse, but its so hard to motivate myself when I question myself every day If i can continue to live.

      Got some PMs about hearing.
      I tested my hearing back in 2010.
      I had about 30dB on left side on 4-8k. 20dB on right 4-8k.
      Lower 10-15dB mostly goes a bit up and down the graph.

      I tested my hearing 2 times after it got worse, and the results are about the same, minor differences that she said is normal.

      I never tested my hearing before I got tinnitus, so have no Idea how it was before that.
      I tried hearing aid for the lost frequencies but It did not help my tinnitus and I did not enjoy the odd sound. I have no real problems hearing people etc however. And since it was the same as 2010 they said my tinnitus did not get worse because something happened with my hearing.

      @fishbone Thanks for the hope
      @meeruf Appreciate the post, gives me a slight hope that it can get better.
      @Telis I am very far from being "tough" I am a super fragile person and always have been, Its just that I had the "mild" tinnitus before so I know all about it, and It was something I learned to live with much easier.
      I know you cannot messure tinnitus, bit since I used to have milder tinnitus and now this I can fairly certain say that it is a lot worse, and since I no longer can mask it with anything to me its really loud tinnitus.
      Is tinnitus really something to brag about, I would be very happy if I got my old tinnitus back, I would rather brag about how low it is if anything :(
      But I guess I see what you are saying, thank you.
      • Hug Hug x 1
    6. Telis

      Telis Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      Really sorry about this all man. I know how you feel, I want my first T back too. I'm having an impossible time dealing with this shit as well. I have H and ear pain attached with my T, so it's all tough. Give it time man, hope you find a way to cope.

      Was just trying to say that you can't ask people about volume or severity as its all subjective. Maybe I worded it wrong.

      Take care man. Hang in there.
      • Like Like x 1
    7. BJ16

      BJ16 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      salicylates, candida
      Have you heard of a salicylate allergy? Check this out...http://www.lowoxalate.info/food_lists/alph_oxstat_chart.pdf.
      I follow the salicylate column, and when I do faithfully, including meds and supplements, my tinnitus reduces. Epsom salt baths also help clear this from the liver and reduce it quicker, as well as a bit of baking soda in warm water nightly. Now I am dealing with it again from candida as I had stupid anitbiotics and now have candida overgrowth. The probiotics are causing a die off which is causing tinnitus. But at least I know it will subside soon. Hope it helps you too! (Don't forget meds and supplements, herbs, spices...the only spice I can have is salt and garlic).
    8. BJ16

      BJ16 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      salicylates, candida
      I might add that I was also to the point of not being able to live with it, it was that loud. I noticed you also said you had anxiety. Salicylates cause anxiety and eczema, as well as other problems.... Gut issues can also cause a myriad of problems and can be erradicated with natural means. Antibiotics are last resort! Antibiotics mess up the gut, cause candida overgrowth, which causes all kinds of health problems, fibromyalgia, etc. Gut health is the key. There is hope!
    9. Alue

      Alue Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma
      I'm wondering the same thing, I went from complete silence to this very high pitched tinnitus that I can hear over just about everything overnight.

      I held on to the fact that people told me most get used to it and it gets better in about 3-6 months, I didn't realize most were talking about the type they can't hear outdoors.

      I hope it gets better for you.
      • Agree Agree x 1

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