@Kam75, I am so sorry to hear what you shared, but I also completely agree with you. The idea of locking a positive story for comments is dangerous. It is fine if someone had a wonderful experience and wants to share it, but to then say "do not worry about it, there is nothing to be afraid of" is simply not true. There is definitely something to be afraid of.
Every day is a struggle for me. Like you, I take a medication cocktail, not by choice, but out of necessity. Over time, more and more medication has been added. I try to be very disciplined with my meds, especially the benzo, and I gradually taper it down. For me, benzo is an emergency medication.
Just last week, all it took was staying up later than usual to tend to my garden, and I had to take my real emergency meds: half of a 3.75 mg Imovane and half of a 5 mg Morphine. Ten years ago, I tricked my doctor into prescribing Morphine when I had a shingles attack. At the time, I took none of it. Last week, I did take it. That combination gave me the type of sleep I needed to regenerate my central nervous system and quiet my tinnitus, so that I could function again. If that had not worked, honestly, who knows what would have happened next. I would not have been able to continue working, for a start. You can imagine what might follow. People around here do not like that kind of talk.
As for the suggestion of holistic approaches, I have already been in therapy for the past seven years. My first therapist was extremely generous with her time. She passed away last year, rest in peace. She had severe intractable back pain, treated with a spinal cord electrode implant. In the last year of her life, the only thing that would control her pain was cocaine. She knew how to procure it, and she did. I will not go into more details out of respect for her.
For the past year, I have been seeing another therapist who certainly takes a holistic approach. So please, no one needs to tell me I should try holistic methods. I already do. And frankly, there is no way I am going to a concert or any noisy environment. I cannot even handle the fire alarm at work. I run for cover, use double protection, and try to escape to my office, which thankfully does not have a fire alarm.
Different people have different brain wiring, and everyone's situation is different. I am very happy for those who have success stories. In my own case, if you look at my posts from seven years ago, you will see that I was hoping some natural illness would take me quickly. Even twenty years ago, I was thinking about doing something foolish. A very close friend asked me, "Will your wife be alright financially?" The answer was no, so I had to keep fighting. I am glad I did.
Everyone at work knows I have very reactive tinnitus. They close the door gently by turning the handle so there is no click. If someone's voice gets too excited or loud, I signal with my hands. They instantly understand and lower their voice for me.
I actually started crying in my dentist's office because the dental work and drilling noises always cause a spike. After my last spike, when I attended my next session with my MSW, she observed, "Oh, I have never seen you this bad. You are struggling to find words and put sentences together."
So please, everyone, do not take chances. This is a vicious and cruel disorder. Unless you actually have what I have (and it sounds like
@Kam75 may even have it worse), please refrain from reassuring us that 90 dB is fine. For me, 90 dB is not fine. 60 dB is fine for me. 70 dB I can probably handle. But do not give me 80, and absolutely do not give me 90. Also, please do not tell me that it is all in my head and that I need some magical holistic healing and everything will be fine.
I will repeat this again. Every day is a struggle for me. Some days, I do not even know how I will make it to the next day.
So to
@Kam75, I know what you are going through. It is very different from what the original poster described. I wish the original poster would not dismiss our experiences or suggest that the thread should be locked. No, this is a discussion forum. Locking this thread would be misleading and dangerous.
It would be wonderful if what the original poster says is true for them, and maybe it is true for some others. But for people like us, it can lead to a very dark place of pain and suffering unless this condition is treated with respect. The original poster should show some respect and consideration for those who are not as fortunate. I am happy for their success, but I am also deeply sympathetic toward
@Kam75. He is actually worse off than I am, and I thought I had it bad.
By the way, my psychiatrist now sees me every two weeks, and it is not just so he can send invoices to universal health care. He knows I need the support. He already has plenty of patients and does not need to "milk the system" with me. He used to schedule appointments every six to eight weeks, but lately he knows exactly what I am going through. I have explained my medication regimen in detail, and at least he understands how serious the situation is.