In Need of Encouragement

Hello everyone,
I'm fairly new to this forum and have been suffering from T for 6 months. I think it was a result of an ear infection/ototoxic antibiotics.

My T scares me to death. It sounds like an electrical thunder storm and is not tonal. I'm finding it hard to habituate and am having extremely dark thoughts. I have reached out to many people on this forum already (privately) and they have been so helpful but the T is pushing me over the edge right now

Yesterday I felt alright... but today it's pushing me over the edge. I feel like I can not do this... I am waiting to see a therapist but I'm scared I won't be here by the weekend. I am slowly losing hope. I am so close to never coming back to the Earth.

How can I cope?

 

Don't give up hope. Your noise will come down again. Mine has been terrible lately but has come down today. Unpredictable. You could try a muscle relaxer like Robaxin. Is your noise more like a static sound?

 

Thank you for the advice @just1morething!

Yes, it's kind of like static as well as thumping. I hate my noise

I'm so glad yours has settled. I hope it stays like that always for you so you never have it have to go up.

 

Can you mask it?

 

Hi Andrea, I to am struggling at the moment, let's hope that it'll calm down soon.

 

Try see your doctor tomorrow and have a chat about low dose Amitryptaline or Nortryptaline if it gets to much as they can help at a low dose for tinnitus....lots of love glynis

 

@Sam Bridge My T isn't to maksable sometimes :/ but I am trying to distract myself aso much as possible

@Jake007 I'm so sorry you're struggling too. I hope it goes down for you as well. You're in my thoughts.

 

thank you, you will be in mine as well.

 

You need to give yourself more time; six months is nothing. You will most likely at some point accept your situation, and it's only through total acceptance that you will learn to move on. I'd look at what I'd call the three year rule. For some reason, when I've asked people I know who have gone through traumatic events (this includes various people I know with T and my cousin who lost his eye), they all said it took them three years. I found it interesting that they all said the exact same number.

You can't help how you feel, but know that it's part of the journey to becoming yourself again. I have no doubt you'll look back on days like today and remember how it felt, and not how it feels. Go easy on yourself and your time of acceptance will come, and this will bring back all the happiness you previously had. You'll also come out of this a stronger person.

 

Hi honey, be strong. We all have been in the same position that you expressed in this words... and with time also, most of us have habituated to our sounds and recover our lifes.

6 months could be alot of time, but you are in the right process (because you said you were fine yesterday, thats great! and counts as improvements.).... start to fight back... you will overcome this.

Regards, your friend,
Johnny.

 

Thank you @glynis. I'll try and bring it up

@Ed209 wow, the 3 year rule sounds very interesting. I am going to try the best I can to keep going. Thank you for your words. I hope I can regain happiness at some point. I really do want to come out a stronger person because of this.

@JohnnyMx thank you for the support. I really am trying to fight this. Never would have imagined it would be so hard. I'll keep at it like everyone else has been encouraging me too.

 

3 years? That actually makes me feel good since I'm more than half way there then.

I was doing great until Winter and being stuck inside really makes it hard to not hear my T. -- Staying busy, eating well and exercising also help a lot.

I almost lost my eye once when cutting my eye brow on a piece of metal (long story). -- I also know a couple guys my age who are fighting more serious ailments.

T is really annoying for sure but I know look forward to that 3 year mark and am going to stop dwelling on it thanks to this new tidbit. (Newbies, don't let the 3 year thing scare you since some folks do habituate within a year!

Prayers to all of you T sufferers. -- If you get into that dark place, remember that others are there too and we are all here to help each other. -- Message me or read the success stories. That always helps me cheer up.

 

I've had tinnitus coming up on 3 years. I've learned to accept it more and more everyday. Some days are easier than others. You have everyone's support here. Just remember, you are not alone.

 

Hi there, some people are helped with a small dose of Xanax here and there. In a lot of people it lowers their tinnitus and calms them down. However, that is not supposed to be taken long term. There is a medication called Gabitril which my doctor prescribed to me to calm me down. I have no idea if it would help people with tinnitus but it works on GABA receptors, just in a different way. Due to my depression issues, I have taken Lamictal which is a mood stabilizer that has an anti-depressant effect. It has to be titrated very slowly because it can cause a severe skin rash in some people. It actually lowers my T sometimes because of its glutamate lowering action. (My T was caused by something different than yours so that might not work)

Before you go the med route, you may want to take a passion flower/valerian root combo when your T gets bad and see if that will calm you down and possibily lower your T. Don't take it all the time though because you don't want to become dependent (not good with some things) Also, get yourself a free hearing check at a hearing aid place. If you have a hearing loss, have them program a hearing aid for you and see if that "takes the tinnitus away" for you when you wear them. There are some really cool models and if you get one be sure to get one with maskers because just having them can calm you down sometimes. Hang in there. There is usually something that can lower T or help you deal with it better.

 

@Andrea Lopez, I'm going to try white noise generators in the near future. They are cheap compared to hearing aids and could help put our obnoxious noise in the background...not sure? Or they could aggravate the noise? I will update. Drugs always have some side effects that are bothersome it seems.

 

Hi Andrea,

My suggestion for you is to stop fighting it! It is a war you cannot win. I was fighting it for about 2 weeks last March when I first got tinnitus and it was kicking my rear end. Then I got smart and remembered something from my childhood. I used to be terrified of bees, but ultimately I learned that if you do not bother them, they will not bother you. This same principle applies to tinnitus. Let it win and your reward will be that your mind will no longer perceive it as a threat, thereby reducing your stress and anxiety levels towards it.

Once you no longer react to the ringing, you are cured. That is what they call "habituation". This is the solution. Best of luck!

 

http://www.medicaldaily.com/tinnitu...ression-could-reduce-inner-ear-ringing-262690
Maybe some meds help with serotonin levels.

 

Andrea! we all have our good days and bad days, hang in there, and remember you have this community to support you

 

Hi @Andrea Lopez! T sucks but many people have habituated based on what I've read. Maybe you're one of them so don't lose hope! There's a whole subforum for success stories here so use them as inpsiration.

Even those who have it bad are fighting valiantly because some days are better than others.

 

Well if you have not habituated after 3 years - the good news is that you have another bonus 3 years after that , and so forth.

No rush !

 

Andrea,
Some can't habituate without medication. Right now you are on the opposite end of the spectrum.
When you see your therapist, consider taking anti depressant meds to restore your brain chemistry lost by this perceived threat. This generally helps accept the noise and get you on the path to habituation.

Also distraction is big...like the poster above who struggles through the dark winter. You need to immerse yourself in activities that you love that distract you from your tinnitus.

Good luck

 

Exactly there's no time scale. What I posted was an interesting coincidence that I stumbled upon. It's stuck with me for the last year or so and I found it quite powerful. My cousin is a carpenter/builder, and he enjoyed playing rugby for the local team. Then one day, out the blue, a nail from a nail gun deflected and went straight into his eye. His eye had to be removed and he had a glass eye installed. His life was instantly turned upside down. He could no longer play rugby, which was his passion, because his lack of depth perception made it hard to catch the ball, and psychologically he couldn't face the fact that he may get a finger in the eye, during the scrum etc, and become blind. He told me in detail of the devastation he suffered, and this is the type of guy you wouldn't expect to open up. He told me he used to sit crying in his work van because he saw no future at all; everything just seemed pointless and bleak.

This came about because I opened up to him about my tinnitus problem (it was at a point I was severely struggling) and I asked him how long it took him to get over it. He told me after 3 years he felt he had turned a corner, and nowadays he is completely fine. He is happier then ever. An interesting side note to this is that he also has tinnitus from construction noise, but he said the tinnitus never bothered him.

Again, around a year ago I was talking to 2 guys from a well known local band who are friends of a good friend of mine. We were at a party and a band was playing, and I noticed they were using the same ACS pro ear plugs as me. So, I asked if they had tinnitus to which they both overwhelmingly said "YES"; like it was a relief to see someone else who knows what it's all about. I asked how long they'd had it etc, and they said years, so I immediately told them how I was really struggling, and their reply was staggeringly simular to my cousins. They basically said it was incredibly hard, they quit their respective bands and fell into a depression. My reply was to simply tell them that's what I'd just done, and that I too was depressed about it. The one guy got real deep with me and said after 3 years he felt he'd turned a corner and that the tinnitus had no effect on him anymore, whatsoever. He had been back playing in a band for years and had had no problems (interestingly, he had 2 sets of earplugs on him). The other guy said the same thing; he felt like he'd moved on and reckoned it took about 3 years.

Another person that said 3 years, and you couldn't make this up, was a friend of mine who served in the army. He acquired tinnitus from an IED explosion. Again, I had a deep conversation with him on the phone, and I didn't even realise he had tinnitus until he asked me what was up. I told him, and he shared his story with me. He went on to say that it took around 3 years (I promise you this is all true) until he felt totally fine with it, and that he no longer even thinks about it.

I thought to myself what is it with this 3 year thing! It just really stuck with me, and actually gave me sincere hope, seeing and speaking, to real people who had walked the journey already. It was like they was on the other side of an endangered bridge, cheering and helping me on, as I walked across a part that required some insight.

From my point of view I'm nothing like how I was. I was savagely depressed and now I'm content. There is nothing on this earth I could have read back then that would have made a bit of difference to my depressed outlook. Looking back on the journey I've been on gives me perspective and that's the reason I'm sharing this. I held onto that 3 year thing in my head because it seems ludicrous, but there you go. It's not scientific in anyway but gives an insight to how we handle grief; because at the end of the day, it is grief on some level that we are dealing with. It is the grief of losing silence from our lives, and like anything else that we lose, it takes time to heal.

 

Thanks again Ed for taking the time to share those "3 year" stories. -- I was really getting annoyed with my T again in the last month.

In my first 6 months it didn't bother me since I was trying all kinds of supplements, researching AM-101, etc. -- Basically, clinging on to hope that I would get Mr T out of my head. -- The low stress from believing that I would get rid of it, allowed me not to worry about it so much in those early months and be somewhat content. (placebo effect)

I like your 3 year hypothesis since I'm not focusing on a "quick fix" and will go on with my busy life since "I have time".

T has forced me to really focus on exercise and eating healthy as I turn 50. -- It was a drunken episode that caused my T (yes, I can pinpoint it down to the hour) and I had pretty serious injuries before from similar stupid stunts.

T can sure mess with your head, however, your story about the friend losing his eye puts it all into perspective for me.

A few years ago, a guy who lives near me lost his arm in a car wreck and he was so happy that he didn't die and can still play catch with his kids (even with only one arm). He was beyond joyful. -- Now THAT is looking at the glass half Full and something I remind myself of when I start feeling sorry for myself..

 

Hey I was wondering if your tinnitus fluctuates each day or throughout the day. Also, something that helped me habituate a few months back was when I was eating a lot of fish every week. It sounds crazy but the Omega 3 fatty acids in fish help with depression. I was getting pretty energetic too. Something happened though after a month that increased my T in the morning. That day however, I handled it very easy. I got scared though and stopped eating fish. Since then I have been up and down with T and my emotions. Looking back though, I think that T increase in the morning had nothing to do with eating fish! I have had plenty of spikes since then when not eating it!

I am now thinking about eating fish again but if I do I might have to reduce my mood stabilizer because the fish seems to act like a good anti-depressant. In fact, in Japan where they eat a lot of fish, the rates of bipolar and depression are very low compared to the U.S. If you don't like fish you can take fish oil softgels but you have to take them with food to avoid an upset stomach. If you like that I think Barlean's makes a great tasting "fish oil swirl". I thought it tasted fantastic. You might think it is so good you will want to eat too much but I don't think that was a good idea. Just type in Barleans fish oil swirl and you can pull up different flavors. Keep in mind that some have double potency and others have a different EPA/DHA ratio. You still might have to look up online for a good dosage for Omega 3's and depression. The EPA fatty acid in them is supposed to have more of an anti-depressant effect.

For me fish oil doesn't seem to be as good as fish but I probably am an anomaly and I take other medications.
If you do buy the Barlean's, I suggest you buy it locally as it needs to be refrigerated, but maybe they pack it differently online. I wish you the best and hope you feel better soon!

 

Hi there,

Yes, you are in shock that such a thing exists. All of us have been there....I have dealt with T for almost 30 years and trust me you will live your life. It's a new thing and it takes time to get used to. My T is super loud in both ears and i can stand on the side of the freeway and still my T is much louder.

It takes time to get used to it , but it can and it will....IF you let your mind and body cope. Fighting it and being super emotional about T only makes it louder and more annoying.

I highly suggest, that you do whatever you can to relax. I suggest listening to nature sounds or going for a walk each day. I go for a walk in the morning each day and YES my tinnitus is beyond horrible, but there is more to life than having this sound make us not live it. My ears have a good amount of hearing loss as well and this loud Tinnitus covers a good amount of my haring..I careless...I still go on and you should too....

Life is a gift and we only live once...Make the best use of it....