In the Eye of the Storm

Hi everyone!

I wrote recently about being struck with Bell's palsy. As if I was not having a hard time already, life has thrown another thorn my way. My father has passed away. It doesn't stop there. My brother had to go for a surgery abroad, and another one may be needed.

These recent events have affected me deeply. Truthful to my signature, it has made me question everything.

The important thing is not to stop questioning. ~ Einstein

On the surface, I am still the same person, but I don't feel like I am the same person. The storm has not passed me yet. I am still fighting my demons, and I have decided not to go down without a fight. The alternative is not an option.

This reminds me of the signature of our forum leader.

Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. —Philo

 

Thank you all for your support! Pain and sorrow has become a common theme in my life lately. But what can we do? Life must go on. It's all part of the cycle of life.

I wonder though... if there is a God Almighty... does he ever throw dice? I can't help but feel like we are all being played, like pawns in a game of chess. It feels like we are all part of something greater, and everything is connected.

For example, my grandpa died on my mom's birthday. What is the chance of that happening? It quickly turned a day of happiness into a day of sorrow.

My dad has been sick for a long time. He has been in and out of the hospital several times in the last few years. I never thought that he would not make it to the exit door this time around. What that tells me is that the volatility of life is hidden in the everyday haste. I was not prepared for his passing. No one can ever be prepared for such things.

I will not forget what my dad said to me once when I visited him in the hospital.

Life is a race without a winner.

These words have stuck with me ever since. The message is that we should all be more humble and kind to each other. My dad was a wise man, a great thinker with a huge heart. He wrote beautiful poems, well worth publishing. No one was left untouched whenever he would read his poetry at our family gatherings. He always had fresh material to read. He loved the outdoor life and nature. He was a shoemaker by trade, he served in the navy for five years, and he was a hunter for two decades. He had a good life, in spite of all the troubles of life. He was very easy-going and never allowed problems to get under his skin, and he always had a good advice to give everyone he met. He died at the age of 76 from prostate cancer.