Is Positivity Important?

Discussion in 'Support' started by Michael Leigh, Aug 4, 2017.

    1. Michael Leigh

      Michael Leigh Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Brighton, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/1996
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced
      Is positivity important?

      Tinnitus is a complex condition that comes in many forms and intensities and no two people experience it the same. If hyperacausis is present it can cause additional problems depending on how severe it is? I believe if one is able to adopt a positive mindset towards tinnitus and life, they will have the most essential requirement to help them through the habituation process and beyond. This will help to keep negativity at bay even in the downtimes should they arrive.

      Negativity and the belief that nothing can be done for tinnitus can start to take its effect as early as going to Dr. Google or to be told by a GP: “It’s tinnitus, nothing can be done you have to learn to live with it”. It is unfortunate that someone who’s probably very stressed and anxious to have his or her worst fears confirmed by a healthcare professional that should know better. This is negative counselling and it shouldn’t be done.

      Some people will visit a tinnitus forum in an attempt to allay any fears and prove to themselves what they have been told or read about it is wrong, by listening to people that have the condition and hopefully they will be told it does get better and it is curable. The views expressed at forums are often mixed and vary quite a lot. By now a person’s stress level might have increased or decreased Depending on the information they receive either by direct answer to a question or reading members posts. This can induce calm and a feeling of relief, or do the complete opposite and make them feel worse.

      I believe visiting a forum regularly can be helpful for some. The feeling of camaraderie that exists between like-minded people can be reassuring especially when family and friends don’t understand which is often the case. However, it isn’t without its drawbacks. Such a community is open to all and sundry, and thus positive and negative thinking people. Therefore, I believe it is important to try and focus on positivity. Seek advice from members that have had tinnitus for a while and habituated. This is not to say that advice from newbies shouldn’t be sought too. I have read posts from people just a few months in with tinnitus, and been taken aback by the maturity, depth and understanding that they bring and makes a veteran like me smile in approval.

      The thing to try and avoid is negative reinforcement because tinnitus and hyperacusis can be stressful conditions all by themselves without adding to them. Some people are sensitive to sound and take it upon themselves to be wearing: foam earplugs, noise reducing plugs or earmuffs at every opportunity. I have seen what this overuse can do to some people. It can instill fear and if one isn't careful phonophobia. A fear of sound.

      Treating tinnitus and hyperacusis takes time usually many months and should be backed up with positive thinking. Positivity reinforces the belief not to be fearful of tinnitus and hyperacusis. Overuse of hearing protection sadly reinforces negativity and fear. It is for this reason I regularly advise people to read the positive articles that I have written on tinnitus and they are in my “started threads”. They are to be treated as therapy and are a form of counselling and should be read often to reinforce "positive thinking". Without a positive attitude negativity is allowed to get hold and can become overwhelming. I also advise people to read the success stories written by members on the "positivity thread" and there are many. Again, this reinforces positive thinking. One has to work at this if they want to improve and get better.

      Michael

      PS: Life is problematic and with a condition like tinnitus at times it can be overwhelming. This can happen in the early stages of onset but usually improves with time. There is nothing wrong with feeling down and occasionally negative, just try not to make it become all consuming. Always talk to your doctor if you feel your situation is becoming too much.
       
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    2. Bobbie7
      Wishful

      Bobbie7 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      United States
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Extreme stress, sinus infection
      @Michael Leigh - An excellent post, expressed with knowledge, truth, wisdom and hope.
       
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    3. Raphael7713
      Alone

      Raphael7713 Member

      Location:
      Stockholm, Sweden.
      Tinnitus Since:
      January 14, 2017.
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Not sure
      Of course it is. I think many tinnitus sufferers, newbies especially, locks themselves into this negative state of mind which makes their situation a lot worse. When you reach the point where you do not care and see things from the bright side, it's almost as you get "cured" in a way.
       
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    4. fishbone
      Shitfaced

      fishbone Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      1988
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      loud noise and very bad sickness
      It's all about positivity. Tinnitus is a brutal ordeal and it is natural for one to get all down and out. Being positive and moving forward is the only option I see. It takes effort and lots of self love and patience to be positive, when you are hearing a LOUD/high pitched/non-maskable electric generator 2 4 7.

      I have been through the school of hard knocks all my life, so as HORRIBLE and super loud this tinnitus is in both ears, it won't keep me from living my life, that's for sure.

      It's about reaching deep into yourself and just living your life! It's not easy, but all CAN do this....

      PS- I am trying to listen to an audio file for educational purposes and the tinnitus is so LOUD and my hearing is garbage, but i still do it while 90% would give up.... Like i said before, it's about the mentality one has and how motivated they are......
       
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    5. Bill Bauer
      No Mood

      Bill Bauer Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      February, 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma
      Michael, haven't you seen what NOT doing the above Can do to Some people?! I am sure you had seen countless threads where people report not protecting their ears (and this includes going to loud places (e.g., pubs where music is playing) while wearing earplugs, and experiencing horrific (and sometimes permanent) spikes. It seems to me that you ought to mention these cases in your detailed posts. You don't want to encourage someone to start behaving in such a way, as to share the unenviable fate of those people who give themselves a secondary acoustic trauma, right?!
       
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    6. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Michael Leigh

      Michael Leigh Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Brighton, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/1996
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced
      Thank you for your kind comments @Bobbie7 If I may say so. Your posts bring: Peace, elegance and a level of sophistication to grace any forum and help soothe a troubled mind. I hope you keep visiting as this place is much better with you here. @Raphael7713 I marvel at some of your posts because you give an insight into tinnitus that’s fresh and new and it’s a pleasure to see. Please keep up the splendid work. @fishbone You explain tinnitus just like it is, and equip a person with the necessary tools not to be afraid of tinnitus, but to embrace it with positivity and determination. Your steadfastness and never to give up, is an inspiration to all of us. Please keep up the great work it is much appreciated.

      I am talking about the overuse of hearing protection not to never use it. Everything has to be kept in balance. When I read a post and a member says: Today I heard a door slam, or a police siren and now I'm worried. Should I ask my GP for medication just in case my tinnitus spikes? This is unhealthy behaviour in my opinion and instills unnecessary fear in the person and to those that read it that are new to tinnitus and not quite sure what to do.

      Michael
       
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    7. Bill Bauer
      No Mood

      Bill Bauer Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      February, 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma
      I mostly agree with you, Michael. Thank you for the clarification.
      The above is normally "I heard a door slam/police siren AND NOW MY T IS much LOUDER/I have ear fullness". This is when a person would often begin panicking, but one can't blame them.
       
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    8. Bobbie7
      Wishful

      Bobbie7 Member Benefactor

      Location:
      United States
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Extreme stress, sinus infection
      ~~and thank you @Michael Leigh for your kind remarks which are very much appreciated. Having experienced a wide range of situations/emotions/traumas in my 72 years as well as being a tinnitus sufferer I can lend myself to those who are suffering and my desire is to give understanding, support and impart hope as I would wish to have from others when I am in need.

      I am pleased to be a member of this wonderful forum and to know you and the many other caring, helpful and empathic people who are truly shining stars.

      Best wishes,
      Barbara
       
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    9. Julia Urrutia

      Julia Urrutia Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      5/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown. Head injury or autoimmune problems
      I am so glad I found this forum. I thank God that sleep takes me away from thinking about my tinnitus. I appreciate everyone's good will.
       
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    10. threefirefour
      Peeping tom

      threefirefour Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      California
      Tinnitus Since:
      5/15/16
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      140dB B R U H moment
      If it helps you can't hear tinnitus in your sleep. Only the memory of the sound.
       
    11. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Michael Leigh

      Michael Leigh Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Brighton, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/1996
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced
      Hi @Julia Urrutia
      If you are not using sound enrichment at night then please give it a try.
      Michael
       
    12. Greg Sacramento

      Greg Sacramento Member Benefactor Ambassador Hall of Fame Advocate

      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2011
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Syringing + Somatic tinnitus from dental work
      @Michael Leigh Leigh Much what you say is a good read and helpful for many. There are some with tinnitus & hyperacusis where life is difficult from other aliments.

      Having a loud pitch complicated by having severe dental/mouth problems or having a disease along with tinnitus isn't easy. Having tinnitus alone is a whole different classification from those having tinnitus with other medical complications.

      When one has somatic tinnitus where their head may light up with an electrical storm at night, along with maybe neck pain, jaw pain, mouth pain, adopting is difficult. Having Meniere's is not easy and sometimes there is neck, dental concerns along with that.

      There are many as often mentioned that come and go from this board because they are able to adjust. I was one after I received tinnitus the first time - It was loud, but not a severe high pitch. It's a whole different ballgame for me now.

      Most of the time, I can barely post. Many with severe tinnitus can't post or if they did post, they have stopped posting. In California there are rundown nursing homes where there's many older people with severe tinnitus. I have been to some of these nursing homes and it's bothersome.

      Sometimes a whole team of caring specialists is needed. Getting that assistance due to practice time limitations can be a problem. Being able to travel distances for some sufferers without personnel assistance is a problem. Audiologists will spend a great deal of time with a patient and are often able to make valued assessments.

      I come to this board to research my somatic tinnitus and to see what others have tried for treatment. I also try to help others with somatic tinnitus as you do remarkably well with hearing and hyperacusis aliments.
       
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    13. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Michael Leigh

      Michael Leigh Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Brighton, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/1996
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced
      @Greg Sacramento
      Thank youfor your kind comments. You are correct, tinnitus and hyperacusis are make worse by other conditions. Keep up the good work helping people

      All the best
      Michael
       
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    14. eagerUser

      eagerUser Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Un
      Thank you @Michael Leigh
      This kind of positivity is long-lost in this forum. I totally agree with what you said. Good luck to you and to everyone. I wish we all met somewhere else but even tinnitus has its own lessons unfortunately. And also I agree with you about overprotection but protection against loud noises as you also said is not something that should be ignored.

      I bump this thread so hopefully more people will see it.
       
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    15. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Michael Leigh

      Michael Leigh Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Brighton, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/1996
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced
      @eagerUser

      Thank you for your kind words eagerUser. I have been reading your posts and if I may say so, you have the right attitude to dealing and coping with tinnitus and will go on from strength to strength.....
      Well done.

      Michael
       
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    16. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Michael Leigh

      Michael Leigh Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Brighton, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/1996
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced
      People that have difficulty coping with tinnitus and feel their life is in complete turmoil and don't know which way to turn or go to for help, try to keep the faith and never stop believing that things will get better and you will see the light to carry on.

      It can be all too easy for hesitancy and self doubt to creep into our lives due to the huge amount of information we are exposed to and therefore, make it difficult not to succumb to it since many people have a smartphone, that can give instant information on most topics we desire. The home computer, once a revered piece of equipment, is no longer dedicated to such a task and to some degree has been relegated by the smartphone although it's still useful having one.

      This handheld device is a far cry from its early inception when it was merely used for telephony and later to take photos. It has morphed into a formidable piece of technology that some regard as an integral part of their lives and won't leave home without first checking it's on their person. One can easily find themselves overwhelmed by the vast mount of information online about tinnitus all accessible on the phone. Some of it good and a lot of it unhelpful, due to the misrepresentation of the condition and would be better off not said. Not only on websites but on social media platforms where there is a belief by some, that once you have tinnitus life is one of impending doom and gloom which is definitely not the case.

      Tinnitus can present certain challenges especially in the early stages but many people are able to habituate in time and go on to live a fulfilling life doing most of the things that they want to which has to be a good thing. In some instances specialist treatment will be required by seeing an audiologist or hearing therapist trained in the management of tinnitus. I believe social media and the interaction with others to be a good thing. It enables us to learn and acquire more knowledge by the sharing of information. However, it comes with some unique set of problems when certain people overstep boundaries unaware they are doing it or simply don't care, in order to put their point across which in my view can be dangerous.

      In this instance I am referring to people that self diagnose the severity of their tinnitus and other conditions known to accompany it. They are adamant their situation is so dire it will not improve even though they haven't been assessed at ENT or referred to an audiologist for treatment. In addition to this, these individuals take it upon themselves to diagnose others who may be vulnerable under their influence and subsequently believe they too have no hope of improvement.

      Giving support and encouragement to someone having difficulty managing tinnitus is a good thing and something I wholeheartedly encourage. There is no place better to get this than at online platforms from people that live with it. I am not saying one has to always be positive as there is a serious side to tinnitus that many of us know. However, I don't believe it helps to beat the negativity drum consistently.

      Michael
       
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    17. MindOverMatter

      MindOverMatter Member

      Location:
      Norway
      Tinnitus Since:
      2004/05
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown (possibly stress related, and later sound induced)
      Very much agree to this Michael.

      Just speaking out from my own experience, though we are all different.

      That being sad, there is a universal truth that having a positive outlook to things - if you can manage this when things might be at its darkest - make this condition (and many others) easier to cope with.

      While negativity - thinking the worst case scenario and feeding your brain with fear and negative thoughts - will make it quite the opposite.

      Positivity alone won't heal anyone, but it's a helping factor to make life as best you can - any given situation.

      Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas!

      People tend to be generous when sharing their nonsense, fear, and ignorance. And while they seem quite eager to feed you their negativity, please remember that sometimes the diet we need to be on is a spiritual and emotional one. Be cautious with what you feed your mind and soul. Fuel yourself with positivity and let that fuel propel you into positive action.

      - Steve Maraboli
       
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    18. volsung37

      volsung37 Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      2014
      It is very, very hard to be positive when you have our condition.

      There seems to be no way out, no cure, no rest from the constant noises in our heads.

      I try to be positive sometimes for those around me but for myself only bleak despair.

      But yet I came through this once before. That’s the only glimmer of hope I have. And sometimes I don’t even want to think about that in case my hopes are dashed.
       
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    19. MindOverMatter

      MindOverMatter Member

      Location:
      Norway
      Tinnitus Since:
      2004/05
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown (possibly stress related, and later sound induced)
      Yes, it is hard - but the opposite is worse. Negativity feeds more negative thoughts, more anxiety, louder perception of tinnitus, and worse sensitivity. Imo.

      Working on this takes a lot of time. It's not like its a button you push. There is always Hope - and that Hope will always be closer to you with faith and a positive mindset.

      That doesn't mean that there will sad and hard days (and of course it's natural and normal to feel tired and sad at times, we all are) - those are unavoidable and there - but having some "tools" to shift focus despite these days is essential imo.
       
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    20. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Michael Leigh

      Michael Leigh Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Brighton, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/1996
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced
      To be positive with tinnitus is very hard and I never said it's easy. It is a process and it starts within the mind, because tinnitus is mostly mental, as it's an integral part of our mental and emotional wellbeing and cannot be separated from it. Focus on the positive things in your life. Look at what you are able to do with tinnitus and not at what you can't.
       
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    21. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Michael Leigh

      Michael Leigh Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Brighton, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/1996
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced
      You understand exactly what I am talking about @MindOverMatter.
       
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    22. SD7
      Angry

      SD7 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      Mid /June 2021
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Vaccine + Noise
      Same, like I can function at work and with loved ones around but it's an act. I'm still grieving all that I've lost. I think there's an upper bound to positive thinking and it's tied to the severity of one's condition.
       
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    23. Johan001

      Johan001 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      05/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Medication
      Totally agree, I am learning a lot about being positive in general. As a lifelong anxiety and OCD sufferer I tend to be a rather “glass half empty” kind of person. With tinnitus I am just pushed against the wall, so I have to change my whole mindset amidst dealing with the condition. I see that some people with severe tinnitus are able to adapt and live their lives, so that’s enough to convince me.
       
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    24. DaveFromChicago

      DaveFromChicago Member Podcast Patron Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Headcold/Flu
      I have achieved a semblance of positivity by making sure that I am not influenced in the slightest by Michael Leigh.

      Removing him from any portion of my consciousness has been admittedly difficult, but eventually as liberating as feeling my Migraine pain dissolve when I take the drug Maxalt.

      In fact, in order to destress myself from you I was compelled to refamiliarize myself with the Universal 12 Steps from AA.

      Thank you very much, Michael; if it weren't for your insufferable behavior, I would never have felt motivated to strengthen myself emotionally by returning to the Advice promulgated within the 12 Step Program.

      Learning to be unaffected by your obnoxious abrasiveness has ultimately enabled me to place a wholly new perspective on achieving Mental Health.

      In fact, I am going to use you as an example when people I have 12-Step sponsored ask about methods of coping with outsized, pig-headed bullies.

      Again, Michael, thanks for being an unwitting Agent of my education regarding Keys To Attaining Emotional Resilience.
       
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    25. Brian P

      Brian P Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ménière’s disease
      How can you let someone drive you crazy like that?
       
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    26. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Michael Leigh

      Michael Leigh Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Brighton, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/1996
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced
      I understand how you feel and the act that you're putting on merely not to show others how you really feel. This is admirable and if you feel to grieve then do so and don't fight against it. Take your time and you will become stronger.

      I wish you well.
      Michael
       
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    27. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Michael Leigh

      Michael Leigh Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Brighton, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/1996
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced
      It is all about learning @Johan001, and that is the right attitude and approach. Positivity doesn't happen overnight. It took me 4 years to habituate for the second time. I had some very difficult times but still managed to carry on. You can do the same but do it at your own pace and don't rush things, or expect too much of yourself too soon.
       
    28. DaveFromChicago

      DaveFromChicago Member Podcast Patron Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Headcold/Flu
      I am very thankful for your question; it enables me to recognize how ultimately unimportant and unworthy of consideration Michael Leigh is.
       
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    29. Johan001

      Johan001 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      05/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Medication
      Thank you! Yes, it’s a practical skill basically. I start by trying to avoid negative words in my thinking and speech. It helps.
       
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    30. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Michael Leigh

      Michael Leigh Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Brighton, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      04/1996
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced
      If that works for you that's fine. It is understandable that none of us can always feel positive about tinnitus. The important thing to try and avoid, is not to become overwhelmed with negative thinking about tinnitus, as this can prevent us making progress. It doesn't matter how many times we fall down, the important thing is to get up, dust ourselves down and carry on, eventually we will succeed.
       
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