Hi all,
In a few weeks I will be having my first anniversary with tinnitus. Many things have changed in my life over this period. On the positive side, I seem to be able to survive each day somehow. During this period I went through a benzo withdrawal, experiments with Quetiapine and Zopiclone, being on Mirtazapine and tapering it (I'm doing it now). I am no longer actively suicidal.
On the less positive side, I'm not coping very well at all. I still cannot watch movies, listen to music or read much news - all because of a huge emotional trauma of the "loss of life". I have pretty much isolated myself from all social events, got fired from a job that I was unable to do, wake up in such a state of grief and anxiety that I am crying almost every two days. I went from a confident and happy person to a total bedridden anxious mess.
I'm reading all kinds of success stories across the internet boards, follow positive thinking advice, but the reality is that I'm severely debilitated even after almost a year. After the FX-322 news I gave up hope on the medical profession, in fact I got extremely anti-doctors after seeing how much ototoxic stuff they push onto people.
My only hope for now is to be able to habituate to some degree to at least survive each day without debilitating anxiety and crying outbursts. I don't know, maybe I expect too much after a year, but I just see how people report being able to return to normal activities in this period (there are some fantastic success stories from the members here), and I'm still bedridden...
I apologise for the rant, just can't hold it in myself anymore.
In a few weeks I will be having my first anniversary with tinnitus. Many things have changed in my life over this period. On the positive side, I seem to be able to survive each day somehow. During this period I went through a benzo withdrawal, experiments with Quetiapine and Zopiclone, being on Mirtazapine and tapering it (I'm doing it now). I am no longer actively suicidal.
On the less positive side, I'm not coping very well at all. I still cannot watch movies, listen to music or read much news - all because of a huge emotional trauma of the "loss of life". I have pretty much isolated myself from all social events, got fired from a job that I was unable to do, wake up in such a state of grief and anxiety that I am crying almost every two days. I went from a confident and happy person to a total bedridden anxious mess.
I'm reading all kinds of success stories across the internet boards, follow positive thinking advice, but the reality is that I'm severely debilitated even after almost a year. After the FX-322 news I gave up hope on the medical profession, in fact I got extremely anti-doctors after seeing how much ototoxic stuff they push onto people.
My only hope for now is to be able to habituate to some degree to at least survive each day without debilitating anxiety and crying outbursts. I don't know, maybe I expect too much after a year, but I just see how people report being able to return to normal activities in this period (there are some fantastic success stories from the members here), and I'm still bedridden...
I apologise for the rant, just can't hold it in myself anymore.