It's Ruining My Life

Discussion in 'Support' started by Ryan W, Apr 8, 2016.

tinnitus forum
    1. Ryan W
      Frustrated

      Ryan W Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Northern Ireland
      Tinnitus Since:
      01/01/11
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise exposure I think
      Everything I seem to now am constantly thinking about the t, I no I over protect my ears sometimes cause am scared of it getting worse. its really bad as it is, and every 1 around me is enjoying there lives the way I should be and for me there's no enjoyment in life, am 27 and basically had to stop doing everything I loved and change my whole lifestyle for it , and none of my friends and family really understand how hard it is, and I just try to put on a brave face when am really not dealing with very well, and I've had it 4 years, just really wish my life could go back to normal and I could live again, for me atm there's not much point, yea there's research going on but are we just fooling ourselves to thinking there gona find a cure when really it probably won't happen in my life time. I no I could never do anything stupid on my family, but am not gona lie it does run through my head 2 much. Am not very good at talking about it as it just gets me more down, but I no that's not good either, I don't take anything for it, cause I don't want to risk making it worse or more bad spikes.:( :( :(
       
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    2. glynis-harbron
      Feminine

      glynis-harbron Member Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador Team Awareness Team Research

      Location:
      England, Stoke-on-Trent
      Tinnitus Since:
      2004
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Meniere's Disease
      Hi Ryan,
      Tinnitus can really impact on people socially, emotionally and physically but try to remember you are in total control over what makes you happy.
      Life can carry on and do all the things you love but protect your ears.
      Tinnitus and low mood can strip away your confidence and social skills but they can come back by building it up and talking therapy can help.
      My life felt like doom and gloom with Menieres ,bilateral tinnitus and sever asthma but I push hard to enjoy my life and I would not change my life for the world as I'm truly blessed but my ears are a real pain but have lernt to be happy regardless of my naughty ears as I am in control over what makes me happy and lernt not to react emotionaly to my ears but even for me it can creep up on me.
      Eat well,sleep well,keep well and you are half way their to habituation....lots of love glynis
       
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    3. Samzen

      Samzen Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2012
      I think you need some type of tinnitus counseling. You shouldn't be thinking about it constantly, you should be doing other things that take your mind off of it. There are millions of people who are managing their tinnitus even people with very loud tinnitus, so it is possible. Look into some counseling get some kind of help, don't just sit there and be miserable you have to try something.
       
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    4. Telis

      Telis Member Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Calgary
      Tinnitus Since:
      11/2013
      For your info, not all people that are bothered by tinnitus have mental problems and need counseling. It is actually a REAL disability if it is bad enough.

      And how do you know he is just sitting there and doing nothing?

      You are seriously rude and judgmental, no wonder people suffer in silence with people like you around.
       
      • Agree Agree x 3
    5. attheedgeofscience
      Uninvolved

      attheedgeofscience Member Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Denmark
      Tinnitus Since:
      Childhood
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Head Injury
      Agree. And I always find it interesting to do a quick background check on those do hand out advice to others about loudness not being an issue - and - then learn that they themselves are struggling:

      upload_2016-4-9_10-24-45.png
       
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    6. Lorac

      Lorac Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Michigan
      Tinnitus Since:
      2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Sudden profound hearing loss in left ear.
      Hey Ryan,
      I do not have mental issues but I did seek counseling and this was helpful to me. My tinnitus is real, chronic and life altering. It was good to have someone to talk to because you are right....friends and family don't understand. My therapist helped me learn how to accept this new normal. I had many suicidal thoughts too. It is just overwhelming at first.
       
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    7. Ed209

      Ed209 Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      07/2015
      @Samzen and @glynis-harbron are both right. You have to try and live your life as normally as possible. Protect your ears around dangerous levels of sound, but don't give in on your enjoyment of life because of it.

      There are many people on this earth who have severe tinnitus and yet live happy lives. You have to take a step back and stop making tinnitus the centre of your attention/life.

      If you are making yourself depressed because of the life changes you have made, then you are no better off at all. The tinnitus is still there, but you are essentially making yourself depressed as well. Depression and tinnitus go hand in hand, but if you want the best shot at having a fulfilling life then you need to sort the depression out. The problem you're having is that changing your life is making you depressed, and yet you're doing this to avoid making tinnitus worse. It's a catch 22 situation - or better put - a negative feedback loop that is keeping your attention fixed on tinnitus, which in turn is keeping your mood low. You need to raise your mood to have any chance of feeling better about yourself. Get out there and start doing more of what YOU enjoy. Tinnitus won't have as much of a hold on you when you stop caring.

      I know this from first hand experience. I've gone from extremely low, to happy, to anywhere inbetween. What I will note here is that my personal journey with tinnitus took a significant knock when I stopped playing with my band and started avoiding almost everything; in fear of being exposed to something loud. I can tell you that it was the worst thing I ever did. My mental state became worse when I started coming on tinnitus talk more frequently. I went from being happy to having that second voice in my head saying: "what if you cause more damage like the people on the forum keep talking about?" I am certainly not knocking this forum, it is a brilliant resource for all things tinnitus, but sometimes you can just read way too much.

      I am now trying to get back to where I was mentally and emotionally last year, so my first step is to get back to living MY life. I felt way better playing than I do now. At the moment I feel like shit with a noise in my head. I'd rather feel great with a noise in my head to be honest.
       
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    8. Samzen

      Samzen Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2012
      I'm not trying to be rude and I never said he had mental problems. I just made a suggestion that he get some kind of counseling for his tinnitus struggle. Maybe talking to a professional can help. Or talk with some people with severe tinnitus who have learned to cope with it. My point is try to find something that can help.
       
      • Agree Agree x 3
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    9. Samzen

      Samzen Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2012
       

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