It's Xmas Day and I'm Lying on My Own in My Room

I can't take this anymore, I love Xmas but this is doing my head in, I can't handle it anymore, I'm lying in my room listening and trying to get used to this noise in my ear, how do you get used to it?! All I was doing was lying on the settee watching only fools and horses with my family, I just want some peace !!! Please say this gets better please !!!

 

Your earlier posts...

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/something-weird-happened-—-i-dont-care-anymore.18979/

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/spells-of-not-hearing-tinnitus.18863/

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...ing-to-the-tinnitus-makes-it-fade-away.18861/

You have a mild tinnitus that you can barely hear... You've had success not long ago... You'll have success again.

Try to remember that feeling when you didn't give a shit... it was easy heh wasn't it...

 

Atleast from my experience, Doing that won't help you get use to it, just mask it and do things you enjoy that CAN mask it... If it bothers you sometimes it's good to cry and be upset about it because it will help you feel better later. You will get use to it, everyone does at one point, and yours might even go away, I've heard of someone having my Tinnitus for 10 years and it going away, so it can go away at anytime

 

Unless you have hyperacusis too, don't see why you need to be stuck at home. Just get some earplugs to help protect from the real noisy places and enjoy the festivities. It will do you lots of good mentally to be out with friends or family. I had both T & H initially and it was tough to please both of them at the same time. Even with H and if it is mild, then you can try wear earplugs to get out but avoid real loud places. It is a trade off of course that there may be some discomfort here and there but overall if you have a good time, it will be worth daring the T bully for a day or two to get your freedom back.

 

@Reece bude hi. Tinnitus is a roller coaster of emotions suddenly you have this noise in your ears you suddenly panic anxiety kicks in then the depression starts. you can't sleep the noise becomes louder it's all that you can think about is the noise.

You go to the doctor and he tells you there is no cure there's nothing you can take to quiten the noise. But hey that was four years ago for me. All I can say is every body goes through these tuff times - your brain will adapt to this noise. You will find ways to better handle your tinnitus. I found the depression the worse part of having tinnitus. I had to get my mindset right and I found I could better handle my tinnitus.

There is plenty of advice and help on this forum from some wonderful people it does get better but only you can help yourself into believing that.

 

Thanks I was doing well but I went to get my haircut and the clippers were loud , probably not but since then I've noticed the ringing is back again, I had two days last week before that where I didn't need sound to sleep and it was quiet, I just can't get my head round It how I totally was in remission from tinnitus for years and I messed it up

 

I hate the not being able to relax feeling more than anything , I miss nodding off on the settee I miss enjoying a nice lay down, I miss it all , tinnitus is a very underrated problem

 

How do you rate yours? Mild, moerate or severe?

 

Well overall I'd say mild but my stressing and checking probably ramps it up to moderate , most sounds mask it but when it's flares I can hear it over The TV, my base when I have a good day is either not being able to hear it but usually if i lay down and relax all my muscles and slow my breathing it pings up , does anyone else experience this ? I still don't really know what truely caused this spike , the loud festival I went to or the etd and retracted ear drum I got from an ear infection , probably both ! Just had a chat with my dads friend who had noise induced tinnitus for 6 months before it went down so there is hope !

 

Seems like its mild then which is good. Mines somewhere between mild and moderate i think. I can hear it faintly alongside the tv, i'm well used to it now though.

 

My T is the worst it's been today since the first few weeks of onset. I'm browsing TinnitusTalk while thinking about the concept of Santinnitus Clause, a new Holiday character. He can't stand the sound of his of reindeer's bells anymore, and he whispers "heeee heeee heeeeeeee" to mimic the sound in his ears. There is no TRT available in the North Pole where he lives, but he doesn't even know if that would even work. Legend has it that if you leave Ginkgo Biloba out overnight on Christmas Eve, you may wake up and see Santinnitus Clause hanging over your fireplace, or collapsed under your Christmas Tree.

Good thing I don't have a fireplace or christmas tree.

May 2017 be the year our tinnitus goes away. Please.

 

I'm sitting in my room crying at this very moment,all my family are downstairs laughing and enjoying themselves and I wish I could join them but I just can't,it will be far too painful for me.

Since my worsening st the start of the year I tried my best to be with them but they often forget and laugh loudly and kill my ears and head.

I know the answer is to keep in silence but I can't be away from my family either,I love them too much,I'm not sure what's more painful,the H or the isolation from my friends and family

 

I feel horrible. I ruined myself. Im fucking stupid. Sorry for language.

 

I wish my T was mild, the only time i dont hear it is in the shower.

 

All these drama queens with mild tinnitus are seriously doing my head in

 

Tinnitus is tinnitus , I don't care what you think it is affecting my life

 

Well no, people do experience different volumes of t. But even mild t can badly affect some people as it did to me for a while.

 

I had mild tinnitus since I was around 20 until I was 33. I've now had intrusive tinnitus for around 18 months. They are completely different. Mild tinnitus only affected me for a couple of weeks maybe, and then I habituated. The tinnitus I've got now totally incapacitated me and changed my life.

Saying that though, I'm aware of how vastly different we all are and of how we all react so differently to health issues like these.

We should show support no matter what. No matter how comparatively bad it is compared to others. The real measurable aspect is the amount of suffering the person is going through. This should be completely irrelevant of their severity.

Reece, I feel your pain because I know tinnitus can mess with your head. There are many people with mild tinnitus who have a terribly hard time, you're not the only one. This is easier said than done, but you must not obsess over it. Continue doing the things you love but use caution around loud noise (ears plugs). If you distract yourself enough the tinnitus will start to fade into the background. The more you fret about it the more you will feed it and it will start to become an obsession. You must learn to break this cycle and get back to more positive thinking.

If you don't exercise already then start. A good routine with a good diet will help you considerably.

All the best for the new year and I hope you start to feel better.

 

Agree with you Markku!
But what really upsets me is that those with mild tinnitus are exactly those who preach that everyone hanituate, that normal life is possible and that, for sure, there are worse things out there than tinnitus!

Once they habituate they will be the worst enemy to the rest of us whose lives are ruined!

No wonder almost everyone with severe tinnitus stopped posting here!

 

Valeri, there is no doubt that the severity of tinnitus makes a monumental difference in how we learn to cope. In either instance though we can offer support. It shouldn't be the case, when we have a member suffering, that their suffering is seen as not worthy of support because we deem their severity is not high enough.

 

@Reece

My tinnitus got severly worse, last 2 months, but last 5 days is... unbarable no meds can calm it down, i am just in bed, and i wish to die. I have parents and I am only chield. They both my parents seen me, days spent in bed.

Tinnitus made me crazy, violent, from warm heart kind guy i became a monster i am ashamed of. I cant stand humans. I just feel very strong end is neer and I made my peace with it. I would like to survive until this summer just to go to coast line to se Dubrovnik one more time and to swim in a sea. I would help some friend to move to USA on pretence of my "partner" just to be supposrt to him and he be supposrt as it is hard to live aline, specialy to go buy food when you speand days in bed.

My hearing if falling down, I dont know should i look for experiments with a steem cells. I dont know. Medical services are out of money and they are not interested to help without huge money...

I am lost I wish I fall a sleep and die.

# years ago i could study, then t went up and i could nto but i used trobalt and got 4 months free of tinnitus with severe side effects on cognition. Then i played a game to kill the time but game had in course of one year got so much worse that i had to quit, i read books that couse t to spike in 40 minutes and i gave up on it, i watchet tw shows that to today i rewind as there is so much stress.

in feb this year i had few gray har (namely 3) in my pubic hears, and 10 on chest, not there is 30% white, last 3 months my beard was to check for laser removal ( i have no strenght to shave strong beard any more), now when i went lady told me my beard turned totaly white on cheeks and neck and there is nothing that can be done.

Tinnitus is grinder machine, it is killing me sun of a b*** but if does not kill me. Why it dont kill me. I know Netherland aproved eutanasia now without reason, poor people can go there and ask for it cos they are poor... but I suppose it is for Duch only.

I hate my life and all i survived in it, war, maltretment and wotk as chield with loud carpenter machines... today i am finished, i keep silent while grinder machine is killing me.

Many will say they have tinnitus, mild one that is killing them, I have loud one that is chronick progressive very severe tinnitus with hyperacusis and progresive hearing loss. I wish to die. God if there is something like that is not let in me to die. I wish i have a ncancer. I am broken. I have nothing. What ever i do it spikes tinnitus. I cant make a food any more cos of noise of kitcheh, i just wish i am not here any more, i cant stand it, those who beleave please pray i just die. If there is airplane that will crush i would go with a peace in my heart in it.

I just need this to end. I became a monster. When i get a tinnitus honestly and someone come and start presuring me i would rip of his neck without thinking and not feel any remorse. That is what real tinnitus makes of so kind and nice people who never in life and pfisical fight. <i never hit anyoneone in life but a guy when i was 9 who run into my hand and fell down, i streched it to protect myself as he was running toward me. So de facto he hit me.

My Xmass wish is that I die, and new year. I dont care will and how will my parents take it, i just wish if there is God to hear my plea and help me move on. Please God if you hear my pray let me go from this blasing chains that are burning my sould and cousing pain, please please let me die.

 

Lets not forget that this is a support forum!!!

 

Absolutely Deb! I find it hugely disrespectful when people are merely brushed aside like that.

 

Tinnitus is mental torture for people and we all have our own coping level and mild tinnitus can be as traumatic as sever tinnitus and our emotions play a big part also and like others I have been really struggling the past few months emotionally and torturous tinnitus but so happy it's calmed down a notch and loving life again after wishing my life like as it was to unbearable to live.
Don't give up hope as we all can get to a better place so hang on and your time will come too.
Hope you can enjoy Christmas with family and push extra hard and don't let health issues spoil it.
It's been strange this year with our my dad who was the laugh of a party and know he will be laughing with us like our midnight snowball fight one Christmas night.
This is such a lovely forum and know how ever we feel for any reason support will always be given around the clock and not judged...

Lots of love to everyone and stay positive that better days do come to us all as the only way forward is up
Lots of love glynis xxx

 

@glynis Thanks for your wise words and encouragement Glynis. I had a good Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, but after nodding off on the sofa, I woke up yesterday with a sinful racket spiking in my ears. I must have been asleep for ten minutes and bang! They are singing away today and it's ruining my Boxing Day, although the volume is a little less than last night. I had a couple of glasses of wine, but nothing excessive. This isn't the first time I've had a spike after falling asleep in front of the TV or listening to an audiobook....this unpredictable nature of tinnitus makes it so hard for me to deal with. Steve

 

@Christian78
Are there any options you still see for yourself? Last resort may be cochlear implantat or micro vascular decompression.

 

Reece i think you are just adjusting, and longing for silence.
i cant blame you!! but let me tell you if your T is mild.
you will get used to, mine used to flucuate a lot but after 11 months in.
i can honestly say im fully habituated and tinnitus is not my main concern.
tbh ive been able to have fun and have a great time in quiet place with the family and friends.
time is gold, dont spend it so much laying in bed wanting for it to go away.
prove yourself that you can have fun and be happy no matter why.

 

All we're saying is that you WILL habituate fairly quickly to the mild T. Even if you don't believe us right now, which is normal, you will. Just be patient. That would be completely different with a loud T.

A mild T still sucks, you still feel trapped, but in no time you'll forget about this board.

 

Thanks mate appreciate it , I know i will deep down as I have before , just can't let go of This for some reason ATM