Journey Out of Despair

Today, 3 years ago, my life dived into the deep dark abyss of screetching noises and dispair. I was forced to leave a huge part of my life behind: music.
I became afaid, afraid that the music would do more damage than it had already done. I was also afraid of every other loud sound.
One year passed and I started to use earplugs on trams, in town and also when I took a shower or would do the dishes. I quite rapidly cut out all sorts of sounds around me, because my ears felt so tense after a day being in sound. People told me that I would get hyperacousis if wearing earplugs too often, but it was a risk I was willing to take, as long as I could hide from the noises around me and the tense feeling.

Last thing I did was to cut out sounds from movies since it got tiring to increase and decrease the volume all the time.

Now I was in "silence".
I had to accept this, there was no other way, but who was I without music? I was longing to go back to music and parties.
But only if I could listen to music everything would be fine, was what I always said. The parties wasn't as important as the choice of turning on some sweet vibes.

I tried a lot of methods, but every single one of them felt like a waste of either time or money.
I knew somewhere deep down that when I was ready to take a step into sound again, I will know but until then I had to fight my psyche and all new frequenzies I gained along my path.

One day in July 2018 I felt a sensation while working, it was a sensation of
>I want to listen to music - NOW<
My body told me it was time! I was finally ready to listen to some music again!
And I saw a door of possibilities open up.

Slowly everything came back.

The newest thing that unlocked is listening to movies with sound again.

I'm now looking forward to the day when I can use headphones again, but I am in no rush.

I haven't fully habituated but I am where I want to be - for now

The journey goes on...


Ps: I didn't get hyperacausis

 

@Michael Leigh

Headphones can be very risky if one has tinnitus.

 

@Angi

My advice is to "completely forget about using headphones ever again, as you risk making your tinnitus a lot worse". Once this happens it will not return to it's previous level. If you have any headphones at home, my advice is to throw them in the garbage. In doing so you will save yourself years of misery and heartache I promise you!

Michael

Headphones and Tinnitus.

The views on whether a person with tinnitus should listen to music through headphones are controversial. Some people show no adverse affects while others do even when the volume level is kept low.
We are all different so the only way a one can know is to experiment for themselves if they want to. In my opinion, when the tinnitus was caused by exposure to loud noise/music and it has become intrusive - by this I mean a person having to seek help at ENT, then they shouldn’t listen to music through headphones no matter how low the volume is set.

Most music has syncopation throughout its frequency range, so it’s constantly changing in pitch, rhythm and timbre. The beat of the music and volume can also change while listening. This evokes pleasure and can stir our emotions. This happens whether we listen to music loud or soft, although certain types of music does sound better played at a higher volume than others, and vice versa.

Once the Cochlear in the inner ear becomes damaged by noise exposure, it is much more sensitive to sound. This is one of the reasons hyperacusis (sensitivity to sound) is often experienced with noise-induced tinnitus. The wearing of WNGs (white noise generators) as part of TRT treatment can often cure the condition. I have covered Hyperacusis and Habituation in a post further down in the forum.

The organ of the Corti, which is attached to the Cochlea, has approximately 20,000 hair
cells. These hair cells move to the vibration of sound and are just one of the components in the auditory system that enable us to hear. Someone that already has a sensitive auditory system due to noise-induced tinnitus and listens to music through headphones at a low volume, risks irritating the Cochlear further; this can make the tinnitus louder and more intrusive.

In my opinion, it can be misleading when some health professionals tell tinnitus patients, listening to music through headphones is fine as long as long as the volume is kept low. These health professionals mean well and know a lot about the anatomy of the ear and therefore, it is not my intention to try and undermine their abilities or expertise. However, It must be said, that many of them have never experienced intrusive tinnitus. This leads me to say, one of my ENT consultant’s who is an Audiovestubular consultant, and someone that I have a lot of respect for, once told me that I know more about tinnitus than she/he. This person explained, for the simple reason they had never experienced it.

I have spoken to people and corresponded with them by email and at Internet forums, complaining their tinnitus has become worse after listening to music through headphones even though the volume was kept low. My advice to anyone that has tinnitus that was caused by exposure to loud noise is not to listen to music through headphones, as the auditory system is more sensitive.

White noise generators.
Some may question the use white noise generators and in-ear types that emit white noise directly into the ear. White noise generators don’t usually irritate the auditory system due to the volume being kept low and its frequency range remains constant, so there is no syncopation within it unlike music.

Although white noise generators can be bought privately to treat tinnitus I don’t advise anyone to do so, unless a Hearing Therapist/Audiologist has first tested their auditory system for suitability. A person must also be shown how to use these devices correctly, as improper use can make the tinnitus worse. Furthermore, they are normally used in conjunction with Tinnitus Retraining Therapy to get maximum benefit.

PS. I also don't advise listening to white noise, pink noise, brown, noise etc through headphones even at low volume. It is best to always be under the care of an ENT clinic /Hearing Therapist.

 

Thanks for the advise, but I will only do it when I am ready. As I said, I am in no rush. It might take a year or 10 but I will get there if my body tells me to.

 

I don't think you realize what you are dealing with. It has nothing to do with you or your mindset. Your ears will never be like the were before. By this I mean if you use headphones, now or in 20 years time, you risk making the tinnitus worse, even if the volume is low.

Please remember I told you!
Michael

 

In the beginning, did listening to music spike your tinnitus at any volume and that was why you stopped listening to music in the first place?

 

Unless there is a proven way to restore mammallian hearing within 5-10 years time such as bio-medical science advancing, I would avoid loud music for the rest of your life.

 

Some days after T came, I listened to normal volume in speakers, after one hour I heard one more frequenzy in my right ear. After that I stopped listen to music out of fear of getting more noises.

 

@Michael Leigh What is the difference between listening to music with headphones at a low volume and listening to open mold WNG's that go into the ear canal?

Also, I agree with you as far as headphones go.

 

Well, I listen to low-medium music now and it's fine, I don't need loud .
The point was that I CAN finally listen to music and I'm really excited about it.

I hope you are able to also?

 

it's about sound pressure. headphones, ear buds, they all create a seal in the ear canal the prevents sound pressure from escaping which is more harmful than speakers where sound pressure is distributed throughout the environment.

 

Sorry, I will never listen to what they have to say again! Because they had nothing to say. They just repeated what I've read and each others' words.
Best of all they said - we can't help you. Wasted money and time

 

The answer to your question is in my post above. I have also included it below. Please also read another shauns piece on headphones and air pressure, he has explained it very well, why people with noise induced tinnitus shouldn't use headphones. The amount of people that have telephoned me crying because their tinnitus has got worse due to headphone use, you wouldn't believe. You have been warned.

White noise generators.
Some may question the use white noise generators and in-ear types that emit white noise directly into the ear. White noise generators don’t usually irritate the auditory system due to the volume being kept low and its frequency range remains constant, so there is no syncopation within it unlike music.

Michael

 

Thanks to your post I will lower my hopes for headphones.
They're not that important. I've gained so much lifequality in such short time that I can almost say that I'm happy again, momentarily at least. And thats truely something to cherish.

 

This is when you have to be very careful. What a lot of people do not realize, when their tinnitus improves and they are able to listen to music for example, as in your case. The tinnitus is there waiting quietly in the background and ready to strike as soon as you do something stupid, like using headphones or going to places where loud music is played. Then, the tinnitus will return with a vengeance that you wouldn't believe is possible trust me. I have many years experience, dealing with people affected with "noise induced" tinnitus. You have to respect it, and never forget that you have it because that is when it is most dangerous.

I wish you well
Michael

 

Why so serious, it's not the end of the world now is it mate?
Thank you for the warning, I have reconsidered.

 

So wait, your tinnitus has nearly gone away? Just from overprotecting with earplugs?

I would hold off on the headphones if you can enjoy music from speakers just fine.

 

I've done this, had earplugs. I just got a mental crash, but T still stable. Doesn't mean I will go to concerts and such.

 

No, T still there, as loud as usual.

 

If you have counselled the amount of people that I have over the telephone, by email and at tinnitus forums. Then you would realize how serious tinnitus is. I assure you, tinnitus can be ruthless, very unforgiving and believe me, you will wish it was the end of the world if you get it the right way- Loud severely intrusive and unrelenting! It took me 4 years to habituate for the 2nd time. Please read my post in the link below.

Michael

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/my-experience-with-tinnitus.12076/

 

@Michael Leigh

Thanks, no idea how I skipped over that part. Any recommendations for flying then? I was considering noise cancellation headphones but it sounds like I wouldn't be able to play any volume in them.

 

I'm sorry to hear that.
I'm still habituating so I won't push my luck. I've done some stupid stuff along the path but I've learned my lesson.

 

With respect to you. I have had tinnitus for 23 years and like other veterans in this forum know a lot about "noise induced" tinnitus. I am still learning because no-one knows it all. Please go to my "started threads" There you will see many articles that I have written on tinnitus, hyperacusis and habituation.

All the best
Michael

 

*learned some lessons

 

I am already there, I have severe T but I'm sure it could get louder. And also: It is for the most part constant, sometimes a loud floater, but never lower.

 

Hopefully it will not get louder as long as you are careful. Don't use headphones and be careful of being around loud sounds. You might find my posts below helpful.

Michael

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/tinnitus-a-personal-view.18668/

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/hyperacusis-as-i-see-it.19174/

 

Truly, for some of us it does feel like the end of the world sometimes. Didn't you feel that way in the beginning?

I'm very happy for you. Treasure what you have. Is headphones really worth risking it? In my case, nothing is worth risking intrusive tinnitus. If I recover I'll still never use headphones, go to shows even with earplugs and so on.

My tinnitus was silent today. I have been singing and working on my music all day without problems (low volume through speakers). Nothing is worth risking these good days, even though I suspect bad days will come.

Edit: wrote this some posts back, I thought your tinnitus had faded a lot, not that it wasn't loud and intrusive.

 

Well it felt like there was a negative hangup on headphones. So I wanted to lighten up the mood, my mood at least.

 

Yes, I can see that. However, for me that most likely had my tinnitus caused by headphones (low volume but long hours in my case), headphones truly feel evil and I probably will never touch them again. I think that's why me/we come off as negative.

I thought that my headphone use was safe, and I feel so bitter about it... I'm a musician and have always been extremely careful with my ears, or so I thought. I guess someone that got their tinnitus from a loud show where other people weren't using protection would feel a similar way about live music. Those people aren't using protection, it seems fine? Myself I always viewed live music as dangerous from the start, but I did feel that headphones were safe because I never heard anybody get tinnitus from moderate volume in headphones.

I hope you get all the enjoyment from music that you want from speakers, or that headphones turn out to be safe for you if you decide on using them.

 

Some people with "noise induced" tinnitus use headphones without any problems. However, the truth is often the opposite. Most people that have "noise induced" tinnitus and habituate - if they return to using headphones the tinnitus will usually increase to a new raised level and will not decrease.

Many people in this forum with NIT have reported, their tinnitus got increasingly worse after using headphones. Someone contacted me last year after habituating to tinnitus for 6 years. It was originally caused by headphones. She thought after 6 years she would be safe, and returned to using headphones at low volume. Within one week the tinnitus increased and now she cannot return to work because of the distress caused by the tinnitus.

Anyone that has NIT, it is never safe to use headphones as there is always a risk. The tinnitus only needs to spike once and it's game over!

Michael