Losing My Mind

Ok, so it's Christmas day tomorrow & I'm not trying to put a downer on it but I'm feeling more alone than ever. It's not the lack of people wanting to see me & I don't know how to put it exactly It just feels like I'm looking through myself, I feel detached from my body (no I'm not on drugs before anyone asks ) I guess this is more of depression problem & less of a Tinnitus one but I've completely changed since having it. The worse thing for me atm isn't the Tinnitus itself but the way I hear things, or rather don't. The ENT said my hearing was fine & yet I'm still having trouble understanding people or making sense of everything around me, there isn't any calm anymore, just a mess of sounds. Am I losing my mind? I'm not suicidal or anything like that because I really want to live & enjoy my life but I can see why some people take that route now, & for me to even consider in that way scares the hell out of me. I feel like I'm fighting my own body at times. Where did all that harmony go?

Sorry people, I just needed to type something for lack of pen & paper atm.

I really do wish you all the best for Christmas, if you're happy right now then hold onto it for as long as possible.
Let us hope 2015 brings us all a better chapter in our lives.

Jordan.

 

Hi Jordan. Im sorry for what youre going through. I think Ive read about this before. Its called depersonalization. Look it up on wikipedia. Are those the symptoms youre experiencing?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depersonalization

If those symptoms sounds familiar, Id see a psycologist if I were you. Maybe he can give you something to ease the symptoms

 

Hey @Kopesy

I don't know when and how you had your T but your reaction seems, not normal, but similar to mine. When ENT said that my hearing was not perfect for my age i begun to check what i could hear or not and it really stressed me.

Now even of nothing changed i feel still annoyed/ stressed about that, but i'm not lost anymore.

I had a little depression and i'm still taking antidepressant ( just some soft ones i'm not spacing out because of some drugs ) and it helped me first to calm my mind, and then to re enjoy simple things in Life . You are in à periode of acceptation.

I have always some doubt about my hearing , but now i'm prépared to wear hearing aids when it Will be nécessary in thé future. I accepted it! Maybe you simply need Time and some little help to have à clear mind about your situation.

And don't be ashamed about saying your feelings! This forum has been made for that! Don't hésitate to send privante message to others. Learning about other situations can help.

Enjoy christmas man!

 

Sorry you seem to be going through a tough time. Sometimes you only realise you are happy when you become unhappy unfortunately. Or maybe its just me.....

Just an observation from a clueless person here, if your hearing is good and you make out peoples words if you concentrate then that may be a good sign and if you can sort your head out (oh so easy to say it) you find clarity again. Good luck with it.

 

Found a youtube video that might help you or atleast make you feel better.

What Does Depersonalization / Derealization...

From what Ive read, this condition is directly connected to your anxiety or maybe your depression. If you can find a way to deal with the anxiety, the feeling of detatchment should start to fade. About 1-2% of the general population suffers from this condition. So its not that uncommon.

 

Hi Kopesy.
You are not losing your mind, although it sometimes feels like.
Christmas is a difficult time if you suffer. The same for me. You want to be happy and enjoy everything to the fullest. But the beast in your head still takes most of your attention.
I told myself to not give it much space today, but celebrate like every year. It is tough, really tough.

I guess that depression (and maybe anxiety) and all the negative thoughts make you most problems. At least this is for me.

As far as I have learned, most people habituate. But it takes timeeeeee.
And trust me, thinking about suicide also scares the hell out of me.
Suicide is no solution, although it oftentimes feels like the only one.
And I am sure, we will see a drug some time in the future that lowers the volume at least.
Stay strong and stay touched here. It is a difficult time.

All the best for Christmas.

 

Yeah Christmas is tough, you want to be celebrating and having fun like most years. I have decided to skip it this year, try not give it a thought. Maybe next year will be different, for now, it doesn't exsist as far as I'm concerned.

 

Hi Telis.
Nevertheless, I wish you not a good, not at bad Christmas.
I just wish you that things will become better for you.
I am sure there is a way out of this crap and we will celebrate again.
Of course I am not sure, but I really, really hope.
Greeting from a green Germany (snow maybe comes in two days).

 

I had migraines from the age of 14 to 38, BAD ones. And did you know you could have a migraine withOUT pain? I told a doctor once I felt like my head was not attached to my body sometimes (weird, huh?). This is when I learned all about the many faces of vascular problems most commonly known in the head as migraine. My hearing was garbled and far away sounding. I had some bad times. I went through every kind of migraine prescription medicine. Some of it had warnings that too much would cause gangreen of the brain!! Some were barbitruates, etc... They all temporarily helped. During those years I could barely hang on to my life, family, and job. But I hung on and kept educating myself. These days I have only T and I'm glad. Hang in there, keep searching, and keep looking for good doctors.

 

@Kopesy
Ive talked to a friend of mine who is a psychiatrist. The first thing you should know is that you are not losing your mind and it cannot physically harm you. This is not a psychosis, its very different. However it can be frightening. He have had many patients with this disorder and that most of them has gotten rid of it or reduced the symptoms to the point where they no longer suffer. This is a condition that can get worse the more you focus or obsess about it. Appearently the main key to fight this is to not give it attention. Try keeping your focus off of it. I dont know how hard this is, but if you can do it, the symptoms should decrease. Try to also attack your anxiety. As for anxiety in general, meditating and working out are effective ways to make it go down. This is probably caused by the anxiety due to your tinnitus. It is a fairly common side effect of among people with anxiety. You can also get it from smoking weed. Just keep in mind that you are not losing your mind. If you cannot fight your anxiety on your own or if its hard to not obsess about the depersonalization symptoms, I suggest you go to a therapist that specialises in this. Like I said, the successrate for my friend has been very high. I think the following video would help you aswell.

Depersonalization Disorder Explained

He explains pretty good how to deal with it

 

@Jesse Pinkman
Cheers mate & thanks for the information. I'm glad I'm not going insane, just another thing to add to the list XP
Starting exercising again after I get the shower fitted, it's been a while, used to run a lot to clear my head as I've always had symptoms of this as a teen & will definitely help. Thinking about everything at once makes it seems so much harder, first eye floaters, then hearing & tinnitus & now this -_- one step at a time I guess. Should it get worse I'll try getting some help, so far every GP has turned me away & says I make it all up, which in a way is true to some extent I guess ^_^
Have a great Christmas o/

 

Thx Martin...same to you buddy. It's dry warm and sunny here. Doesn't feel like Christmas anyway

 

@Kopesy
Same to you. From what I understand this is some kind of deffence mechanism in the brain. A sort of a new state it goes into to push things and certain feelings out. How this defends us is beyond me. Its not like its making your situation any better. Anyways for the brain to keep being in this state it needs fuel, wich in your case is most likely anxiety both from the depersonalization symptoms and from tinnitus. If you can force yourself to think more positve and reduce your anxiety by exercising, this should go away. Its common for people that have this to produce pessimistic thoughts that theyre stuck in this forever, and its thoughts like this that actually keeps the deperonalization going.

 

Hey, me too. (Floaters)
Ditch that cortisol, it unlocks unwanted adrenalin. You know what that means.
Buy the Body For Life book by Bill Phillips. Do it his way. A couple bucks may change your life. His program took away my suicidal headaches and straightened me out. It gave me the strength to deal with pain, and life, and T.
I'm suggesting this because you mentioned exercise. Bill Phillips' way of exercise lets you reap the benefits around the clock, not just while you're exercising. Hey, it took away my panic attacks. It's worth a try.

 

I'd like to leave it please

 

@I who love music
I'll look into this, I used to be very fit & healthy & loved the feeling it gave me. Was also into yoga before all this, tried doing it as I got the T but it only annoyed me more trying to chill out & find me 'inner peace' haha.

 

It is indeed a depression problem.