Mild Tinnitus Got Much Worse + Developed Moderate to Severe Hyperacusis & Distortions

Sorry for the typos and grammatical errors in my previous post(#57). I need to stop writing long ass posts on a phone.

 

Hi Everyone,

So a few days ago, I finally went to my first ever family gathering since my onset all began and I’m happy to report that it went mostly okay. I had my earplugs on while driving, but took them off once I arrived to my destination and vice versa when I returned home. It was a family gathering of like 15-20 people. I was relaxed and holding conversations at a fairly decent pace. I finally felt a bit normal, as my interactions with people allowed me to forget about my severe tinnitus in those moments. It was in the back of my mind for good stretches I’d say. We ate food at a big dining table and that went fairly well. For the record, I can tolerate silverware pretty well now, but they happened to be serving our food on paper plates which i guess is something I can’t really complain about.

I will say though, by the end of my visit, my ears were starting to fatigue and some people’s voices were beginning to irritate me slightly. Multiple people engaging in high pitch laughter was one instance where I was experiencing some discomfort. I briefly stepped outside to take in some nice natural sounds and this honestly helped ease off the tension & fatigue. I tend to notice, when I back off a bit from longer exposure to sounds, my ears will rejuvenate back to normal quickly. When I got back home, my ears were feeling good in terms of sensitivity and discomfort.

A good day’s rest also tends to restart things for me and I’m good as new.

My phonophobia progress - The fear of most sounds is a horrible situation to be in, but I’m finally overcoming this to a great degree. With hyperacusis, I’ve been trying my best to tackle this issue at all angles. The slow methodical approach of reintroducing sounds especially in the household has been extremely beneficial to me. My phonophobia is becoming a non-issue as the days go by. 7 months ago, something like accidentally dropping my phone on the floor was a nerve wrecking experience which would later lead to an intense build-up of anxiety & constant rumination on potential worsening. Now if these things were to happen again, I easily brush it off and don’t give it much thought anymore. And if I do get negative thoughts, I just let the negative thought run its course on me without ever giving it any real meaning. If there is a car honk nearby me, I have no reaction to it whatsoever, I just move along and carry out my business as usual.

So yeah, my confidence is growing and growing, but this is not to say I’ve ditched hearing protection entirely. I think they still have their use and I intend to protect when I feel like it’s necessary, which in my case would be anytime I go outside in the streets of Manhattan. I made a real effort to completely ditch the earplugs/earmuffs in the household unless of course there is something that warrants protection such as using a blender or nearby construction noise.

Distortions and reactivity are still there. Some days are better than others. I can’t seem to figure why some days are worse than others. It’s like it has a mind of its own. Same with my tinnitus which still fluctuates a lot in intensity, tones, and volume. I’m handling it better though. It can still get tiring, but I’m not as stressed out as I used to be. Engaging in hobbies (video games) helps to keep my mind somewhere else.

I’m not really good at writing thank you messages, but a special thanks to @MindOverMatter and @Damocles for assisting me with this matter. Your guidance and wisdom has meant so much to me. I will continue to seek it if you don’t mind.

 

Great to hear about your way forward @ZFire and that you had a nice family gathering. It means a lot when we are going through this to sort of having a sense of finally "feeling normal" again - if we manage to get to that stage.

I find so many similarities in "our stories" in the regards of hyperacusis, phonophobia, and all that interconnects to it. We share many of the same experiences.

As you say, some days are better than others - and it will probably continue to be so for a long time. Being able to handle the darker days better though, shifting focus, and keep looking forward - one day at a time - helps.

I appreciate your kind words. Feel free to reach out any time buddy. We all need to support each other the best way we can. This condition can be difficult coping with without helping each other out.

 

@ZFire, that’s amazing! So pleased for you. Little steps...

 

Excellent. Family gatherings can be a bit overwhelming. But you did good.

 

@ZFire, congratulations buddy, that’s great to hear! I feel like I have similar tinnitus to you.

 

Thank you everyone for your kind responses.

I think so too. It changes repeatedly, week after week. It’s never constant. Some noise reemerged and then disappear and then come back a week or 2 later. Almost as if it goes through cycles. The one thing I can say for certain is the Tinnitus will always be calm after waking from a 7-8 hour sleep, then picks up in intensity as the day progresses.

 

This is exactly how mine behaves. Defo a rhythm to it.

 

13 months since onset. I had a few setbacks in last month or so, but I’ve gotten over it and doing mostly okay now.

In regards to the sound sensitivity aspect of my loudness hyperacusis, it just keeps getting better and better. There are times now were I feel like I’m back to normal. It’s mind-blowing actually. In the last 4 months or so, my sound sensitivity has seen a massive snowball effect of improvement.

But in order to understand how much I’ve improved, I’ll remind you just how bad I actually was about a year ago. It was so surreal.

The loudness hyperacusis:

- Left me homebound for about 2 1/2 months (July 2021 to early September 2021)

- I was forced to whisper as my own voice gave me ear discomfort (people’s voices too, they had to whisper to me)

- I couldn’t shower or chew crunchy foods (I can destroy cucumbers now)

- Plastic bottles/wrappers, aluminum foil, silverware, creaking hardwood floor, and doors clanking were all very bothersome. Any high frequency sound was impossible to be next to.

- Everything sounding way louder than usual (I still have issues with this, but it’s lessen significantly and only applies to certain noise)

Now what helped me. I believe time and desensitizing were crucial elements. My first significant improvement actually came on out of nowhere. One day in October and the week that followed it, I just noticed I wasn’t as sensitivity as before. Something just changed for me from there I was able to initiate sound therapy which I ultimately led to a non-linear path of recovery. Some days the sensitivity would creep back up but the trend was always upward.

Tinnitus is still pretty bad, but I don’t care as much anymore (not totally true). I will say though, the tinnitus is in a much better state than onset. In the beginning, I had so much indescribable tones, like an insane amount. Much of it has faded, but I still have quite of few tinnitus tones/noise and it fluctuates in intensity frequently.

The reactivity can still get bothersome. I can have good days and bad days with it. Some of my tinnitus tones react instantly to certain noise, but it returns to baseline once I remove myself away from the noise thats triggering the reactivity. It makes it hard to mask tinnitus at times, so there are times where i prefer to listen to my tinnitus in silence(while I sleep). This has help with habituation. I still have random bouts with distortions also. But Music sounds way better than 1 year ago, so that’s cool.

 

Hi @ZFire, I have read a number of your posts. Good to hear things are getting better. How is sleeping for you?

 

Hey @Uklawyer, it’s been pretty decent the last 2 months. I can get anywhere between 6 and half to 8 hours of sleep. Somehow I’m still able to get sleep when my tinnitus gets quite intrusive. I think spending many months deliberately listening to my tinnitus (no masking) while sleeping helped a lot. It’s like my brain eventually got bored of perceiving the tinnitus as a threat.

I sometimes have difficulty falling asleep, but it’s not as frequent as before.