My Daughter’s Behaviour Around Noise

In recent weeks I’ve noticed that my daughter behaves very irregularly around noise. When we walk to school, for example, she will stand still and cover her ears if she sees a bus coming. She will also say things like, “is a bus coming daddy as I need to protect my ears.”

This also occurs at other times if something relatively loud happens. I was also told by her teachers recently that she became distressed during a fire alarm drill. Kids are extremely good at learning from us, and she has very clearly picked up an issue from me when it comes to sound, even though I have been extra careful not to make her paranoid about sound. When we were at a wedding a couple of months ago, we gave our kids Baby Banz ear defenders for the disco and the fireworks.

I’m now starting to think that it may be having a psychological effect on her because she seems to have learned to have become somewhat phonophobic. I do not preach to her about the dangers of noise all the time (as I want her to have a healthy relationship with sound), so she must have picked this up subconsciously from me.

Has anyone else with young kids noticed anything similar?

I’d really like to nip this in the bud and get her back into having a healthier relationship towards sound. I wouldn’t consider her behaviour to be too bad yet, but the early signs of how she has changed recently are telling me that it may become more toxic, and I really don’t want that for her.

 

Yes, @Ed209, my daughter does the same. Although looking back, I think she has always had some degree of hyperacusis. She would ball her eyes out during fire drills (always had to take her out of nursery for them), she hates fireworks, and has always been the child who held her ears at the cinema etc.

This was quite normal for her, but they are loud events. Recently, it’s got worse. She walks into soft plays with her dad and refuse to go in because the music is too loud, she covers her ears for motorbikes driving past etc.

I am trying to explain that only mummy’s ears are broken, and that she is safe in these environments. I think the message is getting through, and I am starting to see some positive progress.

What age is your daughter? Mine is 5.

 

That’s interesting; my daughter will be 5 on Halloween.

She never used to cover here ears at all. She’s only recently started to do it whilst saying she needs to protect her ears. You’d think from this that I constantly preach to her, but I can honestly say that I never talk about any of this stuff with her. I’ve only ever said that daddy has got bad ears when she has screamed, whilst telling her not to do it, for example.

Kids are so adept at learning, and they pick up on the tiniest of things. It’s unbelievable how they can sense something and then apply it to their own behaviour.

I don’t want it to become a big deal and I tell her that she doesn’t need to stand and cover her ears for a passing bus. She wasn’t doing this a few weeks back; she loves buses.

 

This is definitely something to keep in mind when I have kids.

 

I’m the same, I try not go on about it, but they pick up so much by copying the people around them. She constantly sees me fiddling with ear plugs, covering my ears, and she just has a 6th sense for when something is wrong with mum. They are very intuitive.

I think we should be fine as long as we’re reinforcing the idea that they should not be afraid of all noise, just the really loud stuff.

Sorry, I don’t mean they should be afraid of the really loud stuff, but I do want my daughter to grow up with a health respect for her ears. Earplugs when clubbing etc.

I wish my dad had warned me. He has had tinnitus for 25 year and never thought to mention! There is definitely a balance to be had.

 

@Ed209, my son was doing the same. He always asks me “daddy when are your ears going to get better?”

 

Same. I don’t want her to worry about everyday sounds, etc, but I will tell her to protect her ears in nights clubs and stuff when she’s older.

 

That’s really sad; I feel for you. My daughter asked me that once a while back, and it’s not something that’s currently overwhelming my life either. That’s why it really shocked me to see her holding her ears.

 

My daughter used to ask me this as well. That, or when will you be able to take me to [fill in loud experience here] again?

Until a few weeks ago where she turned around and said, “you know what mum, I don’t think your ears are ever going to get better”. It was out of the blue and caught me completely off guard. She wasn’t sad about it or anything, just matter of fact. Almost like she had made her peace with it, we both had to laugh.

 

This is very interesting. I wonder the same thing, although my children are older; 12 and 18. I definitely think that they learn from watching us. My kids see the profound anxiety I go through. They see how careful I am with my ears. They see me cover my ears frequently. At their ages, what I’m trying to do is instill in them the dangers of loud noise, but my kids are at the age where they use headsets for video games and use AirPods, which drives me crazy. We have had many, many, many a discussion about volume.

I recently took my son to a show (Blue Man Group) and I made him wear ear protection they provide. I wore double ear protection. In the fall we’re supposed to go see Aerosmith at Fenway. Again I will make them wear ear protection. Now I’m talking about examples of things that are excessively loud but I do wonder if I’m making them crazy because I’m obsessive about my ears. I’m just trying to help them not experience what I’ve experienced. Both my husband and I have tinnitus. So my children probably are going to be prone to it.

 

My daughter did it, but it is because she was somewhat on the spectrum. She has grown out of it. It is healthy to teach the iPod age about it, and to put on earplugs when mowing the lawn. But yeah I would monitor it. Also don't let her date the guy who drives the stupid trucks with the modified tail pipes. You know the one where the person is driving a 2 dollar truck but wants everyone to look at them.

If she isn't inheriting from your anxiety, check out spectrum disorders, not just autistic as noise can just be too stimulating.