New Here, Struggling

Discussion in 'Introduce Yourself' started by abby1703, Nov 22, 2016.

tinnitus forum
    1. abby1703

      abby1703 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      unknown
      Hey all. Thanks for the posts and information here. You've been good company/hope to me in some low moments.

      My story: I'm 35. I've never had ear issues. No loud noise exposure. Labor Day weekend, took a day long hike to 13,000 feet. Couldn't get ears to pop upon return to "lower" altitude (I live at ~7000 feet). Ear pain sent me to urgent care a few days later, diagnosed with an ear infection (which I likely never did have), took antibiotics that did nothing. Finally saw an ENT when I was still suffering 2 weeks later (ear pain, echoing in my head, couldn't "pop" ears.) I think ear ringing started around this time, so 2 months ago now. Long story short I had an audiogram that showed some minimal high frequency hearing loss, and a CT that showed there was fluid in my right side mastoid cavities. Nothing to do but hope and pray it would go away, or discuss surgery with my doc in a few months. The fluid was an annoyance but the ringing? Misery. Nonstop misery. Doc put a tube in my ear to allow me to fly. I had a follow up CT last week and the fluid is "gone" according to the docs, probably cleared up naturally + drained with assistance of the tube. I can still hear a bit in there but I'm assuming it's a minimal amount to not show on CT. But the ringing? Still f*cking going. I broke down on Sunday, told my husband if it weren't for our three young children I don't know that I'd want to go on if this doesn't go away. I'm doing the white noise, I'm doing acupuncture (during my last session he poked a spot behind my ear that made my T change in tone for a minute or two, then return to its regular high pitch, but this gave me hope he's doing SOMETHING that manipulated the T), I'm doing some of the supplements.

      I haven't seen many stories similar to mine which make me feel like a freak of nature. I look back on the day of the hike and just cry, an activity so healthy and innocent (and that I was so proud of myself for doing!) has snowballed into the worst period of my life. My friends are supportive but don't quite get all this, or why the ringing is such a big deal. I'm shying away from a lot of social gatherings because the ringing is distracting and well, I'm just depressed. I've racked up about $4000 in medical bills, which really doesn't help with my anxiety! I'm often cranky with my kids and my spouse because I'm just so f*cking annoyed to have to be dealing with this. Like the rest of you, I struggle with sleep and have the sound machine and fan going to help, but have resorted to Benadryl or amitriptyline most nights to get to sleep. I'm so sad that what I once enjoyed most - a quiet house and a good book - is now impossible to enjoy at all.

      Not sure what I'm looking for here. Just wanted to share my story, and if anyone has a similar one I'd love to hear from you. I keep reminding myself that it's just been 2 1/2 months since my ear drama began and there's every chance this could just clear up and go away. I hate this. :(
       
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    2. glynis-harbron
      Feminine

      glynis-harbron Member Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador Team Awareness Team Research

      Location:
      England, Stoke-on-Trent
      Tinnitus Since:
      2004
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Meniere's Disease
      Hi abby1703.
      Sorry to hear you have tinnitus.
      You are doing the right thing masking your tinnitus with what helps you to sleep and make sure white noise is set below your tinnitus so your brain will work hard to hear it and push your tinnitus to the back ground.
      Amitryptaline will help sleep and depression and is a AD that can quiet down tinnitus with it's cousin nortryptaline that does also for some people.
      You might benefit from counselling and CBT as talking therapy is a great support and a emotional release to help you cope better with tinnitus.

      It's early days for you and has every chance of going so try stay positive and calm as anxiety and stress can feed tinnitus and make it sound louder.
      Try push hard to enjoy the day when tinnitus is intrusive as it's so easy let it destroy your day and end up in tears and make the day seem longer and focus on your tinnitus more.
      Do what you can not to focus on your sound and hope it will improve soon.
      Lots of love glynis
       
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    3. abby1703

      abby1703 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      unknown
      Thank you for the response, Glynis. You seem to be such a loving and supportive person here. I appreciate your words and love. xo!
       
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    4. Jeff M.
      Cowabunga

      Jeff M. Member Benefactor

      Location:
      La Jolla, CA
      Tinnitus Since:
      Oct. 2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Idiopathic
      Abby,

      My heart breaks for you! And if it's any consolation, I totally get it!! 3 months into my journey with T, I ended up in the ER, fearful I may hurt myself. But, as with you, I have kids and I needed (still do) to press on for them. All you are feeling and experiencing right now is valid, know that. And it sucks!! Nothing wrong with admitting that!! :mad: Just KNOW that I was convinced 100% that I would not make it and my life was over, and guess what, it's not!! And it's not for you.I realize it is near impossible to hear from people that things will get better!! I didn't believe anyone!! But they do!! Sleep, exercise , emotional/psychological management, relationship nurturing and openness to support will get you through!!! We are all in your corner and here to help!!! :)

      Best and rest,

      Jeff
       
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    5. abby1703

      abby1703 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      unknown
      Thank you so much for your kind and comforting response, you've made me cry again. Hearing "things will get better" from someone who KNOWS how miserable this is actually does mean a lot, it's hearing it from those who have no idea that makes me want to scream. I was in the ER at the end of September in that same awful boat, talk about a low point. :( Thank you for sharing some encouragement and commiseration! I need to step up the exercise (another thing the depression/stress has made hard!) and look into some counseling, I think. Thanks again. :huganimation:
       
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    6. MikeL1972

      MikeL1972 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      3/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Uknown
      Hi Abby,

      You just need to hang in there and persevere through it. Your mind is going to eventually dismiss tinnitus as a "non event" and it will not be the focus of your attention. The best way to make this happen quickly is to stop fighting it and just let it win. It took me two weeks in to realize I was not going to win and just gave up and as the months rolled on, my mind gradually accepted and acclimated to it and now it no longer affects my nervous system.

      Just go about life and do what you need to do, without focusing on tinnitus. Also, know that tens of millions of people have it! Good luck!
       
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    7. abby1703

      abby1703 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      unknown
      Thank you for the good advice. I appreciate it!
       
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    8. billie48
      Sunshine

      billie48 Member Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador Team Research

      Location:
      Vancouver, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2009
      Welcome to the forum and you are in good hand with all the nice advice given by above members. Like you I had the same feeling when my ultra high pitch T drove me near insane, not knowing if I would ever be able to handle it long term. Then severe hyperacusis soon hit me too with a vengeance. Tell me about T & H combined. It was pure hell. I was in relentless anxiety and panic attacks. Yet I felt that I need to survive this for my family and loved ones. I would brave these alien beasts, tired and stressed out, just so that my family and loved ones would be just fine with me limping around. At one point I was thinking that I donate my body for them. Let T & H hit me with whatever. Gosh! That was a dark period yet with a ray of light in the long, dark tunnel that I wasn't sure if I could ever climb out. Yet today I live a normal, happy, productive and absolutely enjoyable life. I wrote my success story like others and I list many helpful strategies which have helped me. If you wish to know them, for brevity I provide the link below to my success story. Don't panic and despair. Things will get better. Believe it. Take good care. God bless your recovery.

      http://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads...w-i-recovered-from-tinnitus-hyperacusis.3148/
       
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