New Here, Thought I'd Habituated, Now Set Back Again

this place seems like excellent support for likeminded sufferers/ non sufferers, so along with ordering a book on living with T and hyperacusis and getting put on a waiting list for cbt after 2 months of anxiety group sessions i thought id sign up here too. would be much appreciated if anyone took the time to read or give their thoughts, but just writing this out in itself will be cathartic for me.

my T began to surface while working part time in a school kitchen, at first i was doing a few days/week scrubbing pots & pans but after a few months began working in a plate/cutlery washing room as well (involving a conveyor belt of dinner trays dropping onto each other every few seconds, huge piles of cutlery getting chucked into metal trays to be sorted, plates being crash together etc. i have no idea how i was the only one who had an issue) .
I had the chance to take on 2 weeks full time in that room, and as i really wanted the money i did it, and im sure this is what pushed it too far. it was a massive conundrum at the time, as without that money i wouldnt have the expensive studio speakers and other gear that i have now, but incidentally the price my hearing has had to pay has seriously afflicted me the past 5-6 months.

at the ensuing ENT appointment my hearing test amazingly showed no notable hearing loss (after reading the other thread posted about hearing tests im now questioning what range that test actually covered)

the next audiologist i saw calmed my nerves regarding producing music for long stretches of time on the computer, assuring me it wouldnt pose a problem if its at a sensible volume (which it always is , as thanks to hyperacusis certain snares or one shot sounds with similar resonance cause discomfort and the feeling of blood rushing for a split second right in my ear drums)

so about a month after I was told that, I was getting the hang of ignoring it and tuning into it as little as possible. ( the sound of mine is really high frequency , white noise, worse in one ear than the other) I was affirming to myself that Im fully capable of getting habituated to it and if i take the right precautions it wont get any worse, and I eventually could go on living happily that without it restricting my life. i got fitted for custom ear plugs so I could go to gigs again and , and pursue dj'ing out in town too.

recently ive suffered a major set back though, as now a lower pitch more tonal ringing is becoming more and more pronounced in my ear that T was always worse in, as well as an uncomfortable feeling of fullness/pressure in either ear, and the combination of that with the high pitch screeching aswell has made me regress to the same initial fear i felt when it first came about. Ive been overly cautious with what my ears are exposed too and yet this comes right out the blue and now im straight back to struggling to think of anything else.

its so much worsened by the fact that I overcame a crippling depression in the past, during which i was on the verge of taking my life, by convincing myself that i can make a fulfilling life for myself with music, my one absolute passion. now the thought is constantly at the back of my mind that even though the speakers are really relatively quiet while i make music i cant stop myself from worrying now.

im trying to think rationally about it but i can tell ive pretty much lost my grip on it. i know that anxiety/stress can elevate T but when this came on I wasn't any more stressed than the few weeks beforehand, and I didnt think that a whole different pitch of ringing would come along too. a gp looked at my ears quickly 3 days ago and said they appear normal so it cant be infected or anything, but another ent appointment and hearing test would take at least a month again and im not even sure that would be any benefit, so im really at a loss and totally disheartened now.

Im sorry this turned out so long and dont expect many people to read all of it.. but if anyone has any similar experiences or some advice that would be so welcome at the minute

 

Welcome somethingelse88,

i feel sorry for you, i'm also a lot into music and since the tinnitus started i sadly sold some of my gear and i'll be doing some more quiet stuff now

i think hearing tests done by ENTs are useless when it comes to tinnitus, there are a lot of people with tinnitus and no hearing loss

 

thanks man, what were you doing musically before and did you feel you had to stop entirely to not make things worse?

im quite an all or nothing person, and i feel like in terms of ability music's the only thing ive got going for me, the thought of abandoning it and just getting by with no real creative outlet seems completely futile to me ..

 

Hello somethingelse88, sorry to hear about your T, dont know what to say, other than hang in there ! My T spiked today because I ate an apple and a corn on the cob I think I've been eliminating one food after another !
Hope you feel better soon, best wishes, take care.

 

Hello somethingelse88! Sorry to hear about that. Time is your friend when it comes to T, you'll eventually learn to live with it. About the music part, you don't need to give up everything! Protect your hearing, that's the main thing here. What exactly do you do musically? Whatever it may be, my first advice is to get rid of headphones/earphones. That advice is not specifically for recording, it's recommended all the time, never use earphones man. I'm not telling that because you have T, it's bad for any human! Apart from that, I think you'll know what to do and what not to do yourself. Whatever you do, take your T into consideration and think from that perspective, you'll know what to do. Don't give up music, but make sure it doesn't strain your ears. If you're a singer, try to avoid too many high notes. If you play any instrument, let the volume be as low as possible. Wear some ear protection when you play an instrument. I play the guitar, and I usually just stuff some cotton in my ears. I keep the volume down so that I can hear the notes just fine. And when I sing, I try not to sing too many high notes. You'll do great Marc, you just need some time to get used to the T. Good luck to you.

 

I also make music. When I got the T I gradually had to change what sort I made. I went from house / dance / electric guitar to ambient and chilled and nylon strings.

One thing that us humans are great at is adaptation - it doesn't seem so easy now but you'll learn what works for you and you will still have that creative outlet. And as a plus, if you start making really chilled, relaxing music it will also help with the anxiety. When you get lost in the 'Alpha State', creating and playing, you will be helping yourself to cope.

Are you an electronic musician or guitars / vocals?

 

same as @Steve

 

Hello somethingelse88,
I am new here too, you will find so much help from all of these people.
Best of luck

 

cheers everyone, its really encouraging to get this support, its difficult when friends cant empathize in the slightest but I know they cant realise how it is.

@SteveH Yeh electronic, i'm a total drum and bass head so thats what i enjoy making the most, but I listen to all sorts. I really cant imagine dropping it entirely for gentler music, like i said its always at a sensible level so im hoping its just been my worrying thats made it worse recently. I'll look into the 'alpha state' , I hadn't come across that before but it sounds interesting!

thanks for the advice, ill definitely start working on more chilled stuff too

 

Ha ha, I don't think 'Drum n Bass' and 'sensible level' belong in the same sentence - if the sound waves aren't melting you from the inside then it isn't loud enough (not that I think that these days of course).

You can still do some really chilled DnB though, just need to keep a lid on the mid ranges and sculpt your sound to suit. I can't listen to a lot of the older stuff now because of the production, it feels like it's blistering my ears.

If you're a Reason user I can send you a few patches I've made that mask my T - you may find them useful for starting some down tempo tracks.

Alpha state refers to your brainwave activity, when it operates at cycles between 8-12 Hertz. It's often known as 'wakeful relaxation'. Those of us with T generally show reduced alpha activity, it's no surprise really given what we have to listen to when we try and relax.

 

Hi I'm new here with moderate to severe T for two years. I'm also still a vocalist and managed rock and pop groups for many years. Mt T happened after an ear infection but I'm sure years of music at loud volumes took their toll as well. What I want to to tell you is to hang in there and with a multi level approach you can get this thing under control. I have done two years of intensive research and networking and can't put it all here but here is the basics. 1. Complete medical exam with a an ear specialist medical doctor to find out how much damage you have and if any of it is repairable. If you have gone through this stage and after 3 or more months and you still have the issue its now a neurological problem that is stubborn and recurrent. 2. Diet change to avoid salt and too much caffeine and look up an anti inflammatory diet online and follow it. 3. There are various supplements and that is a process of trial and error for each person. 4. Exercise is important for circulation and mental calm. 5. Avoid heavy prescription drugs if possible and use only in an emergency. This is because they only mask the condition. I will be writing up a thorough guide soon with a step by step to reducing the condition to the "ignorable" level. I warn you there are no magic one time treatments that work for everyone. Some folks are lucky and one works for them but usually a complete rehab program will get results for a greater number of folks. Stay tuned! Meanwhile hang in there.

 

Good to see some other drum and bass/electronic music heads here I think too many years of gigs, djing and production/composition has led to my current predicament.

It's been very hard trying to manage musical endeavours and tinnitus (and also hyperacusis in my case), I wonder how so many of the veterans in the scene have kept it together after so many years. Wish I invested in ear plugs years ago!

Hope things are going better for you buddy!

 

My tinnitus sparked not but two weeks after use of etymotic in-ear monitors, I'm a drummer myself and have generally taken decent care of my ears but just before It sparked to its current level I was more anxious than Ive been in my life. There certainly is some connection..

From what I've seen most T sufferers have two prominent tones.
One high "mosquito" level and one very low "hum".

All I can say is that you can adjust, as you did in the initial stages.
Give it alot of time and lots of distraction, seems to work for me.. More or less
NEVER EVER give up on your musical endeavors..I know I certainly won't

By the way if anyone wants to. Post some of their music I'd be obliged to listen!
Just as long as it's not dubstep.

 

Musician here as well, its rough , music has always been my life ..I have no idea what to do if I am not making music.
I also make a living as a musician, trailer music for computer games , ads etc. This stuff has certainly impacted every aspect of my life. It sucks.

 

It really is rough, the only time I feel normal anymore is when I'm hammering away on my set. I'm happy have to that sort of refuge. What are your coping mechanisms RaZaH?

 

Former drummer here. Audiogram shows 0 dB or nearly 0 dB for all frequencies from 250 Hz even all the way out to 16 kHz, but... 25 dB bilateral notch at 6 kHz. If any other musicians (especially percussion) have this type of notch, it would be interesting to compare.

 

Hey somethingelse88.
Music did it to me in the 70's. Concerts, drumming, performing, and headphones. These days loud live music or headphones will set it off. I'm happy with my squealing and hissing I have to listen to because I heard something worse a few years ago. I was playing some LOUD music with friends with earplugs AND deadphones on. Didn't matter, the next day I got up and sirens were going off in my head and all external sounds sounded like they were coming through a distortion pedal. Real scary. I hung in there and a few months later it settled down to this. I love and hate music. Take care.

 

hey somethingelse88 and other posters,
good to see some fellow musicians on here, though it's a shame why we meet here. anyways; i've been playing music for many years. acoustic guitar, electric guitar, producing, mixing, touring, dj'ing. i'm not sure when or why exactly i got T. sometimes i'm not even convinced its because of music.
i've been playing all my gigs with custom fit ear protection (reduces the level by 25 db on all freqs). if you keep playing live, going to clubs etc - were these. T has had consequences on my music life. i've been cutting down on live and dj'ing very much. i focus on producing now; the part i like the most about music. here i can control the level of the sound and be creative as i like to be.
if you like producing d'n'b, you should just do it. i see no reason why you should give up producing the kind of music you like because of T. i like to hear certain kinds of music, that makes relaxes me and masks my T - Alva Noto is one of my favourites. if you're into electronic music you probably know him already