New to the Forum... My Story...

Hi guys,

Finally decided that the best thing for me is to join a forum and speak about my troubles with tinnitus.

It started one summers day back in 2013. Had just come back from a ride on my bike, was sitting drinking a cup of tea and thought "ooh , my right ear is ringing"....Didn't think much of it at that point.

What has followed since then has been nothing short of debilitating. I initially thought it was due to my bike exhaust(which is quite loud, but had never caused me a problem before) , I also had very bad toothache at the time and thought this might have something to do with it. Couple the above with subsequent trips afterwards to the doctors to be told i have ear infection, it seemed i had a number of issues to eliminate before i got the ringing under control.

One changed exhaust, a tooth extraction and a bout of medication for ear infections later, I thought I had sorted it. The noise had gone away but it turned out this situation was only temporary.

It would flare up on numerous occasions....Seemingly whenever I was under the weather to start with, congested/flu'd up(which kept me going back to the doctors for antibiotics, ear infection meds and decongestants). Sometimes the meds worked and at other times they didn't do anything at all. It was at this point I was at a loss, it would flare up even when i wasn't ill. And i started to question whether the cause was something physiological or something psychological.

My reasoning for this questioning was because it seemed that if I was busy doing something, concentrating and not thinking about it, the ringing would not be there. Then I would think "ooh my ear isn't ringing". Only for that thought to latch onto it and bring it back again.

From there it was a downward spiral. My anxiety/stress levels soared. It affected my homelife, my performance at work and seemed to have a ripple effect everywhere. Previously having been treated for anxiety some years ago, i've managed to cope without falling into full blown panic attacks over it. But I've really struggled mentally to come to grips with whats happening to me. Having had thoughts that i am going doolally, sick in the head/mad.

I'd also have periods where it would go away for weeks at a time and I would think all was well, only for it to return again with a vengeance. Moreso in times of difficulty/stress.

When it returns, it's the last thing i hear when i go to sleep, the first thing i hear when waking up in the morning. And comes and goes all day. The only way i can describe the noise is a high pitched whistle as if i'd just walked out of a concert or been standing next to a nightclub speaker all night.

Recently it has returned again, this time I have had a cold for some time and been very congested, to the point where i can feel my eardrum vibrate when speaking(i have quite a low voice lol). In addition to this I am getting occasional "tapping" of my ear drum. ( like when you have a nervous muscle twitch in your eye, but on my eardrum lol ). It's all very weird.

Where I go from here I have no idea, I have been to ENT and had an MRI scan to which they found nothing, and am currently waiting for another appointment with them in addition to a referral to the "tinnitus clinic".

Am trying to carry on again as usual without letting it bother me too much. Infact the longer this issue has gone on for the more comfortable I have become with it over the years i guess. Almost as if I am consigning myself to the fact that i have this problem and its never going to go away so may as well accept it for what it is.

I know the above all seems a bit long winded, but i am at the stage where i want to share my experience of this with others now. So that I can speak about it with people who can relate to my story, and get a sense myself of not being alone.

Because thats how i feel about this. Alone...... No one I speak to in my daily life can really understand what its like to put up with this ailment. Most repsonses being "how terrible it must be" or jovially quipping about how i should be careful that i dont start hearing voices. The latter being extremely unhelpful.

So there it is...... My name is John, and i have tinnitus.

is it physical?...I dont know....Am I going mad?....probably, but what is normal anyway eh?

J

 

A warm welcome to Tinnitus Talk John and for sharing your story with us.

We are all here for you round the clock for support and advice we can share so always only a click away.

Well done with coping with tinnitus so far and hope got through the unwanted emotions tinnitus sadly brings at first as tinnitus invades our life.
Glad to hear your MRI came back ok and your due to be seen at the tinnitus clinic.
Maybe audiology could try you with white noise generators or hearing aids if you have and hearing loss.
Sound therapy played through the night that is set below your tinnitus can help as your brain will work hard while you are sleeping to pick up your lower sound and train your brain to not focus on your tinnitus sound over a few weeks.
This helps your brain in the day to filter out your tinnitus sound so won't find it as distressing.
Keep posting on the main forums for support and make a few friends along the way....lots of love glynis

 

Hi Glynis ,

Thanks for your positive response ... am sure i don't need to tell you that its been a rough road......

Am far from "over" my experience, I have good and bad days still yeno, but I sure am glad to have found this place.

Will be sure to stick around, put up a few posts and engage on the forum. Feels nice to be around people that know and can relate to what I go through, almost daily lol

 

That is actually how many folks get better, aceepting the new normal even though it is not ideal. The other side of the coin is resistance and with that comes a whole load of extreme and negative emotions. Accepting the new normal is a gradual process. It gets better over time. This doctor's post reflects his willingness to accept the new normal of life. Take good care. God bless your recovery.

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/curing-tinnitus.4136/page-5#post-40854

 

I still to this day swing from "resistance" to "acceptance" I cant help it. Because it goes away for such long periods then returns. So when it returns the "questioning" starts all over again.

I just wish I knew what the cause is. It hasn't helped that i've had physiological problems, ear infections and the such. Which has guided me to thinking that the problem is physical and will go away. But then on the other side of the coin it has returned at times when I have no ailments whatsoever. It's all been very confusing, and has left me mentally drained, frightened and anxious.

I hate that feeling when you wake up and can hear nothing but that high pitched whistle. Sometimes I can compose myself listening to the tap run in the bathroom when i am having a wash, or the kettle boil while making tea. These noises can distract my ears enough to forget about it and tune out for the day. At other times nothing helps and it stays with me all day, maybe giving me respite for short periods when i am busy.

This is gonna sound really weird but sometimes when its really bad and i am anxious about it, it can seem as if i am not looking at the world through my own eyes, almost as i am watching a movie or something. My sensory perception gets all muddled up as the only sense i can focus on is my hearing :/ .

Anyway, thats enough from the madman in the corner lol.