Newly Cursed Torturee

Hi
I gave myself tinnitus by overdoing it on my home stereo in a listening session on Feb 4th. I was always told I would go deaf early, which I was fine with. Slowly losing your hearing was something I accepted and to me was worth the rush of ultra loud music. I never knew anything about tinnitus and I wish I could take it all back now. I used to love music, and perfecting my home stereo with expensive components and custom tweaks was my biggest hobby, and now I cant stand music and will probably sell my equipment and be done with it forever. It's hard to experience things now in my post tinnitus state and remember that just a couple weeks ago I was doing this without these debilitating and relentless tones in my ears and head. The worst part for me is I now feel like I can only give my wife and 2 young kids 50 % of my attention at all times, and they deserve more than that.

I have an appointment Monday with an audiologist, then Wednesday with an ENT doctor. Im afraid I wont even be able to explain the sounds I hear as I feel like I have several that are constantly changing depending on what I am doing in that moment. The one constant sound is a very high pitch squeal that almost gives me that nails on a chalkboard cringe, but sounds like extremely high birds chirping in the same tone, and a constant stream of sound, but with sporadic breaks that are extremely fast and right next to each other. The best I can think to explain is if you can imagine 2 keys on the piano that play the same extremely high pitch sound (think worst squealing car brakes youve ever heard) and alternate hitting those keys as fast as you can with your pointer fingers, in random 3-5 second or 1 nanosecond intervals - but never ceasing the sound. That sounds feels like it originates on the top of my head toward the back, and shifts slightly to the left and right. This one is the most fatiguing as it feels like my brain is constantly agitated and responding to the noise. Im also having trouble even masking it, white noise kind of goes along with it but its really hard to convince my brain that the noise is external. The other tones are 1 in the left ear around 3180 hz, that one I feel like I have been able to mostly habituate to until I just relax a minute or the other sound starts to consume me. In the right there is also a high pitch tone but this one mostly only comes after the others have really increased. If I just let go (for as long as I can stand without it starting to hurt) the noise can completely envelop me and gets so bad that it can muffle and overpower any other voice or sound around me.

I found a few people I work with who have it, but I think they have just a generic single tone like the one in my left ear which I feel like that's what I started out with, only acquiring these other sounds after the first week or so. Both times I asked them how they deal with it I brought their noise back and I feel bad bothering them, as they only hear it in really quiet rooms or when someone brings it up. It has been nice coming here and reading through everyone else's stories, although the negativity around ever finding a cure is bothersome to say the least. If it werent for my kids and my wife I would be in a much darker place right now, I am extremely desperate for relief. And yes I know, its only been 3.5 weeks but from the sounds of it there is a high likelihood this will be a lifelong struggle, one Im not sure I'm equipped to handle. I am a very bad hypochondriac with a little OCD on the side...

If anyone is familiar with or can help me put into words the metallic/synthesizer like high pitch noise so I can relay that to the doc that would be very much appreciated. For any of you Floyd fans its kinda like the synthesizer sound on the welcome to the machine solos, just higher in pitch.

 

I also picture a metal wheel or disc spinning like a record player with a metal arm scratching it... Really hard to come up with the right words

 

The more you think about it the worse it gets, it's a vicious cycle. If you're looking for hope, look up Frequency Therapeutics. They are a company with a very promising process that can likely restore hearing loss and possibly reduce tinnitus. They are starting stage 2 trials sometime this year.

 

Frequency-tx will start a hearing loss revolution

 

Try the sound of crickets. Also, remember the goal is not to get to the point where you don't hear your T any longer, the goal is to have something else besides T to listen to. For the first 5-15 minutes your mind will be focusing on T, but eventually it will focus on the sound you are using to mask T.


Check out the thread below where I summarize everything (27 tips) I learned about managing tinnitus after reading the posts on this forum for the past year.
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...eone-else-who-has-tinnitus.26850/#post-307822

 

If im not actively trying to suppress the noises they will get intensely loud. Is that ok to do or will it train them to be at the forefront or something? I hope Im making sense there...

Thank you, read it completely. I will take all those suggestions and keep them in mind at my doctor vists next week. The noise in my right ear just today has been making itself more noticeable, but its almost like a pinhole in a massive mattress it feels like. I can almost manipulate my ear around with my hand and block it and I swear I feel cool air coming out sometimes but my mind could be playing (even more) tricks on me there.
Thx again for the replies

 

I think it is ok, as long as the masking noise is not Too loud. @Michael Leigh thinks that Not having masking noise might be bad for you.

 

Don't try to supress the sounds, or primitive sections of the brain will interpret the tinnitus as a threat, and set off the internal alarm, which results in distress. By breaking this cycle, over time, habituation is made possible.

 

Thank you @Bill Bauer for bringing this post to my attention.

@Ryan98270

I am also an Audiophile so understand your passion for listening to music on HI-End audio equipment. Firstly, do not sell your HI-FI as it will be one of the biggest mistakes you will ever make and I assure you that you'll regret for a long time. I have had tinnitus for 22 years so have a good idea of what I'm talking about.

You are new to tinnitus and understandably you are under a lot of stress and probably worried. Things will get better. I strongly advise you not to use headphones even at low volume. Please click on the links below and read my posts, as I believe you'll find them helpful. Take your time reading and try not to skim through them particularly: Tinnitus, A Personal View.

All the best
Michael

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/new-to-tinnitus-what-to-do.12558/

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/tinnitus-a-personal-view.18668/

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/hyperacusis-as-i-see-it.19174/

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/is-positivity-important.23150/

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/tinnitus-and-the-negative-mindset.23705/

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/acquiring-a-positive-mindset.23969/

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/the-ent-doctor-and-hearing-therapist.24047/

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/inspiration.22894/

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/can-tinnitus-counselling-help.22366/

 

Try not to skim through them.... Cringe.

 

I've read somewhere that if you use masking sounds, you should have the volume slightly lower than your T to make habituation easier.

 

Thank you. I had skimmed it before but took the time now to read in its entirety. I appreciate you taking the time to put that together, I have no doubt its more thorough and relevant than what I will learn from the ENT visit.
My T is constantly changing sounds, location and intensity which I assume will make habituation harder, but I'm holding on to the idea that perhaps my ears are healing and maybe it's not going to settle at what its at now.
Not using headphones is difficult for me, without that I'm not sure I can use sound therapy. Any input on those new headphones that sit above the ears? I think they use your bones (skull) as a conductor of sound and perhaps having the sound not blasted directly into the ears would make them acceptable?
https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B018...aftershokz&dpPl=1&dpID=41oMjGO1vvL&ref=plSrch

Thx again. This forum is likely going to be a regular sanctuary for me - I really don't want to burden my family with my self induced problems.

 

I don't know exactly what kind you mean, but I do know that over-ear headphones are better than in-ear. Especially if they're noise cancelling (outside sounds).

 

In my opinion @Ryan98270 absolutely not. Those headphones deliver sound to the inner ear by bone conduction. This is vibration of sound transferred to your inner ear. You will make your tinnitus worse. You are in the very early stages of tinnitus and you must be patient and follow the advice in my posts/articles. Tinnitus takes many months for a person to habituate often up to 18 months. Many people make good improvement within the first 6 months.

Do not use any form of headphones. Overhead, earbuds, no form of headphones. You have noise induced tinnitus. If you want to give yourself the best chance of recovery leave headphones and loud music alone.

All the best
Michael

 

Why they dont just ban ipods and earbuds

 

That is a good question but it wouldn't work. Ipods and earbuds, headphones have their uses and many people rely on them. It is incorrect use that is the problem. Listening to audio through these devices at too high a volume. The same as some clubs where music is played at too high a volume, but people still go and many don't use hearing protection.

Michael

 

I will see if i can come up with a small speaker to plug in to my headphone jack for my pc at work and maybe my phone for sound therapy at night. My work requires the use of a headset a lot of the time, I am on calls a lot. Is this going to hinder me? Perhaps I can get a note from the Dr.

 

@Ryan98270

A doctor is unlikely to give you a note to say not to use headphones or a headset. He or she will tell you, headphones are ok to use as long as the volume is kept low. Furthermore, the doctor will say there is no medical evidence, that using headphones at low or moderate levels will make tinnitus worse. These doctors are physicians not tinnitus experts. They know about the anatomy of the ear and are able treat it medically or surgically and this they do well. The majority of them have never experienced tinnitus and this is the reason for their opinion.

Many people with tinnitus also have the view that headphone use does not make tinnitus worse as long as the volume is kept low. This is true for some people with tinnitus but not all especially when the tinnitus was caused by "loud noise exposure". Just peruse some of the posts in this forum from people that returned to using headphones at low volume and regretted it.

If I were you don't say anything to your employer but it's your choice. Try to keep the headset volume low and you may be okay since it's speech and not music. However, I'm not going to lie, this can still affect some people with noise induced tinnitus, so try to take a break using the headset if possible.

You are better off using a dedicated sound machine. Oasis sound machines are the best in my opinion and are made for people with tinnitus. You can also use your mobile phone but you need good volume. If you have a docking station that it can be plugged into or blue-toothed to an external speaker with sufficient volume this will suffice. You can download nature sounds from YouTube.

Michael

 

amazon, not sure if im looking at the right ones though Thank you for your help, I do appreciate it">
If I can get by with some low level talk radio at work and a sound machine at home I would feel better about my outlook. Do you recommend a specific sound machine? I found several sound oasis machines on amazon, not sure if im looking at the right ones though
Thank you for your help, I do appreciate it

 

Any of the Oasis sound machines are good. I have 3 models. If you want the best then buy the S-5000. The S-65o I usually recommend and is popular. It comes with 2 sound cards. The S-5000 has on-board sounds so doesn't use sound cards and 140 sound combinations can be chosen/mixed according to Oasis. I have written a post on sound machines: https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/sound-machines-and-tinnitus.12072/

Michael