Planning Life with Tinnitus

[Marlino]

From another thread...

I do more or less the same. Everyday at the end of the day I consider it a sucess if I managed to go through the day without being close to panic or treating T as minor annoyance. Luckily I have more and more days like that when obviously I didn't like my T, but I was not suffering emotionally because of it. Which means living one day at a time, without thinking about the future and the past but only focusing on current day and my emotional reaction to T (preferrably luck of emotional reaction to T).

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@Mentos
I know from your recent posts that you are in a relationship and plan to have kids. I'm in the same situation but constantly feeling so desperately trapped in my t head, that I'm wondering if I can go this way.

Living day by day and plan for the future doesn't fit together.

What to do about it?

 

[Michael Leigh]

Living day by day and plan for the future doesn't fit together.
What to do about it?

If a person has intrusive tinnitus or it fluctuates a lot in intensity, then it isn't easy planning for the future. It can even be harder if one is unable to work because of the condition. Under all these circumstances, having an understanding partner is absolutely crucial, if one is to make big decisions such as starting a family, as things can go drastically wrong fast.
Michael

 

[Marlino]

@Michael Leigh
This is a very honest input, especially since I know you usually being very positive. I can work. But I don't know if I would dare to change my job or apply for a new one if the current is lost.

Also I have to excuse myself to my girlfriend about 20% of my days to be emotional affected (exhausted) by t.

I just think a demanding kid might be too much.

 

[Sam Bridge]

I am 27 and the idea lf having kids is a no no for me now. Having t is like having a misbehabing kid already and mine isn't even that loud.

 

[Michael Leigh]

Also I have to excuse myself to my girlfriend about 20% of my days to be emotional affected (exhausted) by t. I just think a demanding kid might be too much.

I know exactly where you are coming from Marlino for I have been there. I don't like to talk too much about my private life as this is a public forum. As you know I was medically retired from my job because of my tinnitus many years ago, so I am careful who I get involved with.
Michael

 

[Marlino]

As you know I was medically retired because of my tinnitus many years ago

On my bad days I would appreciate to be as well. But it's last resort and doesn't make anything of the underlying problem better.

 

[Michael Leigh]

On my bad days I would appreciate to be as well. But it's last resort and doesn't make anything of the underlying problem better.

You are doing well and I hope that things don't get too tough for you.

 

[Michael Leigh]

I am 27 and the idea lf having kids is a no no for me now. Having t is like having a misbehabing kid already and mine isn't even that loud.

You wouldn't want my tinnitus then Sam. As I type my tinnitus is quite loud and I'm wearing white noise generators but I'm okay....

 

[Sam Bridge]

You wouldn't want my tinnitus then Sam. As I type my tinnitus is quite loud and I'm wearing white noise generators but I'm okay....

Very true Michael. I think mine is the on the boderline between highly mild/low moderate if that makes sense. In my right ear only, sometimes i focus ony left ear and the pure silence that is experienced on that side.

 

[Michael Leigh]

Very true Michael. I think mine is the on the boderline between highly mild/low moderate if that makes sense. In my right ear only, sometimes i focus ony left ear and the pure silence that is experienced on that side.

Try to see that it doesn't get any worse Sam believe me you wouldn't want what I've been having for the last 24hrs. I might have to take clonazepam if it gets worse....
Michael

 

[Sam Bridge]

Try to see that it doesn't get any worse Sam believe me you wouldn't want what I've been having for the last 24hrs. I might have to take clonazepam if it gets worse....
Michael

I am doing my best there. No more headphones, haven't been to a concert for 8 months and am planning on taking all of 2017 off from them to see if anything changes. The loudest part of my day is being on the tube for ten minutes, on the louder parts of that journey i cover my ears.

I hope yours calms down soon.

 

[Jason C]

Very true Michael. I think mine is the on the boderline between highly mild/low moderate if that makes sense. In my right ear only, sometimes i focus ony left ear and the pure silence that is experienced on that side.

Sam how did you acquire your T??

 

[Sam Bridge]

Sam how did you acquire your T??

Probably a combination of having been to many concerts/headphone use.

 

[Michael Leigh]

@Sam Bridge Thank you. Sam, you can go out to nightclubs you know don't let tinnitus rule your life. As long as you are careful go out and have a good time. Use noise reducing earplugs and if the environment is getting too loud leave. Life is for living but just be careful.

 

[stophiss]

I am 27 and the idea lf having kids is a no no for me now. Having t is like having a misbehabing kid already and mine isn't even that loud.

In 2020 or in about 3 years from now, the cure for tinnitus will be available and procreation of the species will resume with T suffers. Or...previous T suffers will appreciate their new found freedom from the demon known as T and decide to live life larger without kids.

Seriously, there has to be help on the horizon. So many young people here with T. If a cochlea can be implanted and a probe placed on the head and noise known as tinnitus thwarted with preliminary trials...then at some point there will be a protocol where the sound of T will be extinguished by tweaking the aberrant neural pathways that took over our head that has given us this scourge.

 

[Marlino]

Seriously, there has to be help on the horizon. So many young people here with T

No logical reasoning here.
I guess here it come to the mercy of god question again.

But lets come back to the original question:
In the meantime where no relief is available, what to do?
Try it to live normal family life and risk to overstrain yourself? Pondering the probability of being able to be a good father?
Is this thinking already insane, since people used to get kids in even worse situations?

 

[Samantha R]

Well, I am mum to a 2 year old and 5 month old twins - who were a month old when I got my tinnitus.
It's been hard, and I am also the breadwinner in my house so will have to go back to work in a few months. The thought of that is very daunting.
I don't want tinnitus to stop me from being the best mother and wife I can be, but sometimes it is very hard.
At the moment, my kids are young and they don't pick up on my distress, thank goodness.

 

[stophiss]

No logical reasoning here.
I guess here it come to the mercy of god question again.

But lets come back to the original question:
In the meantime where no relief is available, what to do?
Try it to live normal family life and risk to overstrain yourself? Pondering the probability of being able to be a good father?
Is this thinking already insane, since people used to get kids in even worse situations?

I really think it depends on the person. There is no universal truth about who makes a good parent with T or without T. Raising a child is also about economics. And of course the relationship with having tinnitus and holding a good job and providing for a family. It isn't easy today if perfectly healthy, going to a good school and being on the right career path. Can an extraordinary person raise a kid with T? Sure. Probably hundreds of thousands do it everyday. If you ask the question, you may have doubts. Whether you work through that or not probably depends on your temperament, how intrusive your T is and what kind of prep you have done in your life to get the kind of job that can provide for a family...or marry rich.

 

[Jomo]

I have the same things to think about eventually..wont let it stop me...on funny note i play the lotto almost every day and tell myself if im lucky to get this hell of a condition im due for some good fortune lol

 

[Mentos]

From another thread...

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@Mentos
I know from your recent posts that you are in a relationship and plan to have kids. I'm in the same situation but constantly feeling so desperately trapped in my t head, that I'm wondering if I can go this way.

Living day by day and plan for the future doesn't fit together.

What to do about it?

My T is mild and even though I do not manage very good in terms of anxiety, I do pretty ok when it comes to how I function on a daily basis, work included. I decided not to give up any plans due to T. My wife has T too, stronger than mine she manages it very well and it's our common decision to live normal life, including having kids. What I said about living day by day is related to T only, i try not to think what life was prior to T, and on the other hand not to think about having to live with it for the next 40 years
So in this respect I don't see a contradiction in living day by day with T, and planning to have a family at the same time.

 

[Mentos]

Mo

From another thread...

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@Mentos
I know from your recent posts that you are in a relationship and plan to have kids. I'm in the same situation but constantly feeling so desperately trapped in my t head, that I'm wondering if I can go this way.

Living day by day and plan for the future doesn't fit together.

What to do about it?

Moeover I do really hope for a cure or some effective treatment in the future, hence I don't want to give up my life plans and than wake-up one day free of tinnitus regretting that I gave -up my life plans.