Questions and Regrets

I was trying to pinpoint what the early signs of my hearing loss were and I realized that it was probably from June 2016 where loud noises like doors being slammed or other harsh noises felt louder than they were and startled me whenever I heard them.

I chocked that effect to the intense anxiety I had that month due to my sister becoming more irritable from her bipolar and screaming a lot, that mixed in with my anxiety made me assume it was just a reaction to a fear of loud noises but that was most likely the wrong assumption.

The realization that I had a year and a half to look into the reasons for that sudden change in hearing perception and act on it by reducing my exposure to loud sounds is eating at me.

If I'd only been given tinnitus rather than hearing recruitment I'd be in a totally different place and have tinnitus without hearing loss.

How do I move past that regret? I'm only 25 years old right now and living with this high frequency hearing loss and tinnitus makes the future seem so much more daunting and unpleasant.

Could that loudness perception actually have been a result of my anxiety?

Does it usually take a year and a half to go from hearing recruitment to hearing loss that impacts conversation and tinnitus?

Would have going to the doctor back then have solved the issue, would they interpret that as the right thing?

Anyways I know the past is the past and I need to look forward but I can't help ask what if

Thanks for listening

 

With medical conditions you have to use Radical Acceptance. It's a DBT practice. Mainly you have to radically accept that you can't change the current condition you have and ruminating on it does no good for coping or recovery. It's a hard concept in general but it works.

 

I'm sorry you feel bad. Start reading the research threads. There will be help in your lifetime. You are lucky you are young. You will live to see it.

 

@HussPNW ,
Have you been seen by Audiology and see if hearing aids would help you ?
Love glynis

 

Do you have tinnitus (e.g., a ringing in the ears), hyperacusis (sensitivity to sounds/noise), hearing loss, or all three? I'd add a fourth that I often have, which is a feeling that noises are interfering with your personal space (e.g., outside noises that you feel are intruding on your privacy or ability to be left alone).

 

At age 20 I had the hearing loss of a 45-50 year old. Anxiety can do so much to the body and mind that it is pretty scary. Having regrets is a natural part of life. All of us regret something, that we may have done or was done to us. Holding that regret in and bottling it up, is the worst thing anyone can do to themselves.

This simply can lead to further hate, anger , anxiety and higher BP and poor health. If you are not able to forgive yourself, then possibly go and speak with a counselor and tell him/her everything. Do remember that we can get past regrets/guilt in our lives...only if we LET IT HAPPEN. If you do not want to let it happen, then it can be tough. Your counselor can help you out.

If your ears are that poor (mine were and still are), then possibly try hearing aids. My tinnitus is always horrible, but at times it can even get way worst and I rely on my hearing aid that has a built in ocean sound. Tinnitus is a complex situation, but at times we make it much harder on ourselves too.

Be blessed

PS- don't worry about the future. Do your best to make today the best day possible....Forward thinking is one of the biggest reasons, whey we get anxious in our lives. Take today for what it's worth, do your best today and let tomorrow be tomorrow....

 

@fishbone - I am very grateful to you buddy,
you saw my SOS and showed up at just the right time. I am an agnostic - but god bless you anyway.
Another spot on post. xx

 

My posts help people and it also has a bit of healing affect, on my mind and soul as well. In life it's all about paying it forward. Always be grateful, do good and try to impact other people's lives in a good to great way. Believe me, it all comes back to you ten fold. Like I always say, If my post helps just one person, then my mission is accomplished.

I am religious and god bless you

 

Like you, fishbone, I truly believe in the healing qualities of kindness, both to the giver and the receiver.
I always try to help others whenever I can.
It is an honour to help others, particularly when we ourselves are in pain.
It makes me feel both humble, and worthwhile.

 

@ Jazzer

I suppose this is why our paths crossed Jazzer. I could feel the true authenticity of your kindness.

 

When you are ready - you just let it go.

 

I like to think that ‘kindness’ is who I am,
and who you are too Star xxx

 

You seem to be a very likeable and kind human bean.

 

He never struck me as a vegetable.