Hey folks!
I'm a long time follower but decided to write my first post after yesterday's incident.
First some information. I have had tinnitus for more than 10 years now. I got it after exposure to a loud noise (movie theater). In the beginning it was quite bad but I was able to habituate and it also subsided though there have been various spikes through the journey.
Anyway, I have been battling with multiple issues this year. A few months ago I started to have a bad neck pain which led me to a kind of spiral of misfortunes. I started to have hard time to sleep, I started to suffer even more from various mental health issues like depression and anxiety. I got some neurological problems. Not long after the first neck pain episode, I went to the emergency room but no reason was found, a pinched nerve was speculated as a reason. I kind of left it at that and continued with my life. Fast forward a few months and I finally decided to seek more help for my various issues. At this point my tinnitus was doing really well. I went to see a doctor who said that my neck might be a result of muscle issues. I also booked an appointment with a physiotherapist. And soon after with another doctor. I met the doctor on Sunday and after hearing my story, she suggested an MRI scan. I'm not sure if I ever mentioned my tinnitus to her, I certainly did with my previous doctor. At this point I started to be very desperate and "foggy". So the doctor referred me to a private clinic in another city which offers MRI and various other scans.
Two days after that I had my first appointment with the physiotherapist and he thought that my neck situation isn't probably that bad. I should point out that there had been coming out various odd noises from my neck too. This has made me even more stressed and anxious. The physiotherapist also questioned the need for the MRI but said that I could do it just for the sake of peace of mind. And I agreed.
A day after that I was off to a scan. Before that I was supposed to have a call with a GP for my depression but this never happened. Needless to say that I started to be quite broken at this point.
Before my MRI, a person told me about the process and that it would be loud. I already knew that and I had brought my own earplugs but I didn't use those for some reason. I guess I trusted their judgement. The person led me to the room where the machine was and she asked if I would like to listen to music and I agreed. She gave me headphones. At this point I started to be quite worried but agreed to continue. The person said that the process would last 15 minutes which seemed like a relief because I was expecting it to be closer to 30 minutes, but later it turned out that it was just a part or something like that and the total was indeed around 30 minutes. Initially the music playing in the headphones was way too loud and I asked to reduce it a lot. All in all the whole scan experience was louder than I expected but not so loud that I would have immediately left. But multiple times I considered doing so. When the scan ended, my ears were ringing louder and the panic and realization started to set in.
On the journey back home I kept saying that I should not have done this and I kept wondering what had I done.
I woke up a few hours ago and the loud ringing is still there but it is a bit better now. I'm feeling very depressed again and not sure what to do. I would appreciate all the encouragements and kind thoughts. I'm really afraid that I may have damaged my hearing much more from the incident. I feel like I have suffered some hearing loss.
All this is kind of ironic because I have even avoided certain depression medications because there is a risk that it might spike my tinnitus. And now I may have destroyed my hearing by making a terrible decision like this. I feel like such a big idiot. But I also feel that my decisions may have been clouded by my other issues. I wonder how rational I was in my decision. Now afterwards, it certainly looks a very foolish one.
I have so many various issues going at the moment, louder tinnitus is the last one I needed. All this feels so unreal and hard to believe. I was in a pretty good position health wise and then it all just came crashing down.
I'm a long time follower but decided to write my first post after yesterday's incident.
First some information. I have had tinnitus for more than 10 years now. I got it after exposure to a loud noise (movie theater). In the beginning it was quite bad but I was able to habituate and it also subsided though there have been various spikes through the journey.
Anyway, I have been battling with multiple issues this year. A few months ago I started to have a bad neck pain which led me to a kind of spiral of misfortunes. I started to have hard time to sleep, I started to suffer even more from various mental health issues like depression and anxiety. I got some neurological problems. Not long after the first neck pain episode, I went to the emergency room but no reason was found, a pinched nerve was speculated as a reason. I kind of left it at that and continued with my life. Fast forward a few months and I finally decided to seek more help for my various issues. At this point my tinnitus was doing really well. I went to see a doctor who said that my neck might be a result of muscle issues. I also booked an appointment with a physiotherapist. And soon after with another doctor. I met the doctor on Sunday and after hearing my story, she suggested an MRI scan. I'm not sure if I ever mentioned my tinnitus to her, I certainly did with my previous doctor. At this point I started to be very desperate and "foggy". So the doctor referred me to a private clinic in another city which offers MRI and various other scans.
Two days after that I had my first appointment with the physiotherapist and he thought that my neck situation isn't probably that bad. I should point out that there had been coming out various odd noises from my neck too. This has made me even more stressed and anxious. The physiotherapist also questioned the need for the MRI but said that I could do it just for the sake of peace of mind. And I agreed.
A day after that I was off to a scan. Before that I was supposed to have a call with a GP for my depression but this never happened. Needless to say that I started to be quite broken at this point.
Before my MRI, a person told me about the process and that it would be loud. I already knew that and I had brought my own earplugs but I didn't use those for some reason. I guess I trusted their judgement. The person led me to the room where the machine was and she asked if I would like to listen to music and I agreed. She gave me headphones. At this point I started to be quite worried but agreed to continue. The person said that the process would last 15 minutes which seemed like a relief because I was expecting it to be closer to 30 minutes, but later it turned out that it was just a part or something like that and the total was indeed around 30 minutes. Initially the music playing in the headphones was way too loud and I asked to reduce it a lot. All in all the whole scan experience was louder than I expected but not so loud that I would have immediately left. But multiple times I considered doing so. When the scan ended, my ears were ringing louder and the panic and realization started to set in.
On the journey back home I kept saying that I should not have done this and I kept wondering what had I done.
I woke up a few hours ago and the loud ringing is still there but it is a bit better now. I'm feeling very depressed again and not sure what to do. I would appreciate all the encouragements and kind thoughts. I'm really afraid that I may have damaged my hearing much more from the incident. I feel like I have suffered some hearing loss.
All this is kind of ironic because I have even avoided certain depression medications because there is a risk that it might spike my tinnitus. And now I may have destroyed my hearing by making a terrible decision like this. I feel like such a big idiot. But I also feel that my decisions may have been clouded by my other issues. I wonder how rational I was in my decision. Now afterwards, it certainly looks a very foolish one.
I have so many various issues going at the moment, louder tinnitus is the last one I needed. All this feels so unreal and hard to believe. I was in a pretty good position health wise and then it all just came crashing down.
Member
