Spending Too Much Time on Tinnitus Forums...

Being back on the boards for only one day has driven home the realization that some folks, myself included, would benefit greatly from finding another online forum to frequent. Not another tinnitus forum, but a forum that centers around their interests and hobbies.

I found this forum while my hyperacusis was at full force, reading post by members that maintained a positive outlook on tinnitus helped me immensely, but I did notice something. Even though I was making progress with my hyperacusis, I was getting emotionally drained and anxious. I found myself thinking about tinnitus A LOT, and it became a detriment to my progress.

Not getting out and socializing due to the tinnitus I started getting hooked on reading threads, checking notifications, posting on argument threads, etc. Spend enough time on here and you will read a lot of depressing stories, see members talking about committing suicide, etc.

What I'm getting at is when we're at our worst we're not going out like we should be, we're bored, and as we know even without tinnitus/hyperacusis social media can be addictive. You could frequent this forum, not have any hearing issues, and still end up being depressed and stressed out.

For me personally, I've always been a big forum person, I don't have many real life friends that share my interests (fitness/nutrition, cars/racing, and mixed martial arts), so I sought it out through the internet, and found that, while it is rather addictive, at least I was having a good time talking to folks who shared my hobbies, and learning a lot too.

So if you're homebound currently or just not socializing like you used to, and are feeling lonely, try spending less time on Tinnitus Talk and more time on forums that revolve around your interests and passions. Try taking a few weeks or months off and focus what you actually enjoy doing. For me personally, it made all the difference.

One of my favorite sayings is, "Spend enough time hanging around a barber shop, and eventually you'll get your hair cut". If the majority of Tinnitus Talk members maintained a hopeful, positive out look, that would mean you're more likely to get better. But unfortunately Tinnitus Talk has gotten even more negative since I've left, so members, especially new ones, are more likely to pick up bad habits rather than good ones.

Just my two cents....

 

Ok let's get this straight. You're basically saying that people who are negative are negative because they are thinking too much and spending too much time on forums that remind themselves of their condition. These people are not actually negative because of their suffering, but because they think too much. Way to shame people into silence man.

I also love how you included yourself in the negative group yet I've never seen you before in any negative leaning thread. The "I have black friends" approach.

Listen to your own advice, go find another hobby forum.

 

Your post reminds me of my early days on the ATA website when they hosted a support forum similar to this one. Several of us became friends and formed our own FB page where we talked about everything...but our tinnitus.
Mike

 

That's my kind of thinking right there Mike! If you spend most of your time and energy focusing on the worst aspect of your life, it will become harder and harder to focus on the positives. We need social outlets outside of the tinnitus "bubble".

-Ross

 

The best way op, is to come here in small doses...grab what information you need, then bizounce...you do not need to stay here and get wrapped up in the drama that goes on. I kinda see some of these people as my friends so i stick around just to see if they are ok...but some days the paranoia gets amped up mighty high and I take a break for a few days...it always brings my T back to baseline.

Don't let the negativity bring you down, they are not you, you are not them...there a million factors at work in the background of every one's lives ...nobody's T is the same. We are all in the same boat, some are going to have it rougher than others.

 

Refusing not to let negatively bring you down is great advice coffee girl, but that's quite difficult in practice for many people. I didn't say you must avoid TT completely, just that being around this sort of environment on a regular basis can have negative effects on T/H progress. If you have friends on here, it might be a better idea just to get their contact information and chat outside of the forums such as what @Michael B did. I'm somewhat confused as to what the point of your post is, you seem to disagree with me, then admit that your T is better when you avoid T talk. This is what precisely what I'm talking about, this forum can be an addiction, and counterintuitive to getting better.

 

That's not at all what I said, I said that taking a break and focusing on your passions and interests is much more conducive to your recovery than spending time around folks that can give you a gloomy outlook on your condition.

Just because I didn't make negative threads doesn't mean I wasn't stressed out or hurting, ever heard of "suffering in silence"? I simply tried to maintain a positive attitude and my posting history reflects that. I accredit that attitude to getting me through the rough times. Please don't tell me how I did or didn't feel, you are not in my head.

 

Your tinnitus level is different from others', your perception of your tinnitus is different from others'. Tinnitus doesn't attack the same way. There's people who are very severely suffering not only from tinnitus but from hyperacusis as well.

A lot of sufferers are awaiting for a treatment/cure.

You got to be careful when to judge others. That's great you are better, if your tinnitus went low or the perception of it.
Instead of making a thread talking shit about people who are really having a hard time why don't you provide with support to others here if you feel better in life?

Take care.

 

@AZeurotuner
I agree with a lot in your original post. I've been off the forum for a bit and came back on tonight to see if a few of the people I've gotten to know over the past months had posted updates. Although I almost always find something useful or inspiring here on the forum, inevitably there's that string of posts full of negativity that can all but undo the confidence boost. There's no getting around it, of course -- people express themselves differently, and that's just how it is. But I'm kind of chuckling to myself as I write this -- having read through some of the posts for the past half hour or so, my anxiety is rising to a level where it hasn't been since I stopped visiting regularly. I guess what I have to do is what I've been doing -- stay off for a while, and then just search posts from people I've connected with, communicate with them in PM's, and ignore the rest of it. Too much of what's on here just seems counterproductive for me, right now. Maybe not for others, but for me -- not the best choice at the moment!

Mystery Reader

PS -- I'm not judging anyone, here. We're all in different places as we try to get a handle on this. Just saying that for me, less time on the forum is the best choice at the moment. I hope for better days for all of us!

 

I have profound deafness above 12k, multiple tones, pulsitile T in my left ear, hyperacusis and TTS... My ears are FUCKED. But that's besides the point because that's not what we're talking about here, you're essentially strawmaning me. All I'm saying is that it can be good to get away from environments where negatively can fester.

 

I totally agree with you, very well said.

 

I should add that I'm not judging anyone either, I'm trying to offer the viewpoint of someone who was also HURTING at one point. I remember discussing T/H with my parents a few years ago and breaking down crying after I listed everything to them that I couldn't do anymore. I've been there guys, just trying to help those that are still stuck.

 

I like forums. But just a very little bit of this forum goes a long way!!

This place can spike my T quicker than anything with all the suicide talk. And though it is subjective, I think my T and H is as bad as anybody's. However I just handle it and move on. I have responsibilities. And luckily, my responsibilities distract me from the T. Maybe some of you should try that.

I spend quite a bit of time on other forums that fit my past time interests like the OP mentioned. I only check in on this one very briefly. Sometimes it may be once or twice a day, sometimes once or twice a week.

If I don't have anything positive to add I bug out. Wait a minute. I guess what I just said wasn't "positive" was it? So sorry.

Good luck to you all!!!

 

@Tex -- It was just fine!

 

@AZeurotuner Please keep in mind that some of us are here to provide support. In helping others, we indirectly help ourselves.

 

Shortly before my H worsening in September, I was habituated. My T never spiked and I forgot about it. My H didn't bother me anymore. I had moved on and hadn't been active on the forums since March-April. I definitely believe that moving on from the forums.

Yes, I am back though. I would say I wouldn't if I hadn't followed advice of people here on the forum. I trusted their words that a particular noise wouldn't hurt me over my own instincts. If you have hyperacusis be extremely wary of advice given by people who don't. Hyperacusis really changes the T game by a lot.

 

I completely understand, folks like you, @Ed209 and @Michael Leigh are doing a valuable service to the community. For those not providing support, I feel that in most cases, minimizing time spent on here is best for their emotional well-being.