Thank You — I Still Have Tinnitus, But the Mental Anguish Is Mostly Gone

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by Emerald, Apr 29, 2020.

    1. Emerald

      Emerald Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      05/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      Hi all,

      I've been meaning to write here for a while.

      I want to preface this by saying that my message is in no way meant to belittle the experiences of many for whom tinnitus is incredibly hard. That's not my intention. I've been there. It sucks.

      Nor do I mean to ignore the fact that people have different degrees of tinnitus. I know people have it worse than me. I'm sorry. I hope you find something that works for you.

      Even so, I just want to thank this community. While this is my first post here, I've been a member since May 2018, a few months after my tinnitus began.

      I spent many hours here the first few months.

      And those first months were hell. I felt like I could never escape. I just wanted a pause button, even just for a minute.

      I'd go to bed mentally exhausted, not just because of the sounds themselves, but the mental anguish that accompanied them - hour upon hour trying to figure out why and how, blaming myself, etc.

      I thought people who wrote here of living happy, fulfilled lives while having tinnitus were delusional. They must be.

      I was wrong. Or if I was right, I'm currently delusional.

      The sounds are still there. In fact, they're louder than they first were.

      But the mental anguish is mostly gone. I can go a week without noticing it.

      Time helped. But this forum did, too.

      At first, I'd follow advice I found here to write down every time I noticed the sounds. It dramatically reduced my psychological aversion to them.

      I started meditating.

      I turned off the noise machine I'd kept going at night to mask the sounds. Keeping it on had fed into the psychological aversion; turning it off felt like a victory.

      I consciously decided to pursue new hobbies to get my mind away from tinnitus thoughts 24/7 and onto other things.

      The sounds stopped engendering the mental anguish they'd previously set in motion.

      It was a process. But slowly, they faded into the background.

      Sure, some days are still hard. If I'm particularly stressed, or especially tired after a long day, I might lie down and hear the sounds with full force.

      Yet even then, they don't bother me much.

      And the vast majority of the time, my tinnitus doesn't interfere with my life.

      I live a happy, fulfilled life now. I feel free. With tinnitus.

      And to a large degree, I've got this forum to thank for that.

      The vast majority of my friends and family couldn't understand what I was going through.

      You provided something to hang onto.

      Thank you.

      I hope my message provides some measure of hope to people at the beginning of their journeys.

      When I read similar posts here at the beginning of my journey, I couldn't imagine how it might be possible to live well with this.

      But it is.
       
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    2. lightning
      Amused

      lightning Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      Severe tinnitus since Dec 30 2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud noise exposure
      Thank you for this post. It's very helpful to hear this.
       
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    3. aot
      Bookworm

      aot Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      2016. Worsened 11/2019.
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Probably sound induced, worsened due to noise expouse + flu.
      I really needed this today.
       
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    4. Mikkijan
      Tired

      Mikkijan Member

      Location:
      Ireland
      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2012 mild, 07/2019 worsened
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
      Thank you for this post, it is so good to hear. I am at 9 months and am having some good periods where I don't notice it, so I hope it will continue to improve. I'm really happy for you, especially to hear you say you can go a whole week without noticing it.
       
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    5. MusicTeacher

      MusicTeacher Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/12/19
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Rehearsals/Meds
      Thank you for this post. Do you remember when it got easier? I’m 4 and a half months in, and it fills most of my day.
      Wishing for my old self back.
       
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    6. Bevann

      Bevann Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      November 27,2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      I’m 5 months in and not adjusting well.
       
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    7. LizC

      LizC Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      04/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      Your post gives hope. I'm just into week 2 of my journey.
       
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    8. Steph1710
      Old hag

      Steph1710 Member

      Location:
      England
      Tinnitus Since:
      08/04/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Antibiotics - I think
      This was a wonderful post. I'm doing a very similar thing - as in learning to meditate, turning off noise machines at night etc. It has definitely helped me.

      Well done you! X
       
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    9. Hotspur2931

      Hotspur2931 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Cold/flu
      5 months is nothing in tinnitus-land. You will get there. Just try to get through each day. Just cope. One day you will stop coping and start living again, I promise, but for now don't beat yourself up. It's still really new to you, you have loads of time.

      Xxx
       
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    10. Bevann

      Bevann Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      November 27,2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      Thank you so much.
       
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    11. Eloy Resendez Jr
      Balanced

      Eloy Resendez Jr Member

      Location:
      Texas
      Tinnitus Since:
      2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Minor hearing loss (twice)
      @Emerald, Thank you for this post, these are the kind of post that keep us going daily. ;)

      @Steph1710 Likewise Steph, Thank you.
       
    12. i_am_edward

      i_am_edward Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      O5/20
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      Glad to hear that you're getting better and wish you further progress. I'm into two and a half weeks of my T trying to hold my composure. Thank you for sharing your positive story.
       
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    13. Shera
      Bookworm

      Shera Member

      Location:
      USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      12/9/2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      head trama caused TMJ/neck problems/ETD
      Thanks for sharing it's what I needed to read.

      The mental anguish and fatigue is a huge weight of Tinnitus.
      I also didn't care for masking during sleep. It feels like a huge victory for T. For me at least.
       
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