The Dark Clouds Can Go Away

[fishbone]

Hi folks,

it's your local helper fishbone here again with a post that I felt was needed to make.

I know that a lot of you folks on this board are having hard times and it seems that life can never get any better and there is no hope left. I have been in your situations MANY times and I also thought that things will never get any better.

As I was commenting on another member's benzo issues, I still remember the hell I was living in when I was addicted to a high amount of benzos. It had made me very isolated and I shut society out because of it. I use to even have the fear of shopping at the supermarket. My family was no help to me back then, they just denied my feelings (Loud garbage tinnitus and now in benzo hell). Everyday I asked to be helped, it was such a LONELY and scary struggle.

My ears were buzzing super loud and my body was numb and in pain. I had enough and was saying to myself "WHY ME". I am sure a lot of you folks say that to yourself. I was very optimistic but also broken too. Life was beyond scary for me and no one was there for me to fight this very TOUGH battle that took all my guts and courage.

Even though i was in a very bad spot, i always said to myself "I will beat my addiction and things will one day be ok". It's hard to have hope when we are in a bad situation, but it is worth a try. These dark clouds might be above your heads right now, but do know that it can get better.

It can get better, if we are MOTIVATED and will do what we can do make it better. Getting rid of negative mentalities is a must. Being negative simply holds people back, you can say that I am negative and it helps my tinnitus.

Being negative never helps anything, you don't go far in life being negative and limiting yourself. Tinnitus can be a negative ordeal if we let it be. I walk the walk and preach it here too. I suffer from a horrible screaming tea kettle from hell and lately it's been even more horrible. I blame myself because I have been eating lots of junk food and need to cut back on the sugar.

Tonight I did not go to martial arts class because, they also teach children and kids scream and it really throws me off my training. I am in the same boat as you folks, but I am extremely MOTIVATED and will never let this screaming tea kettle from hell stop me from living my life and achieving my goals/dreams.

This person typing to you has been through it all and I can relate to almost anyone here and their pain. I have full compassion for all your issues and I can feel it myself. Do know that if you are stuck in a bad spot right now, even if it is still there tomorrow.....know that it can get better.

In order for things to get better, we must take positive actions and be motivated to make things better. These dark clouds will not always be there, it can get better.

As negative as my loud tinnitus is, I still have motivation and a STRONG desire to even achieve greater things in my life. I hope that you folks never give up and always strive and move forward to achieve your dreams.

It was also during this time in my life that I was given too much medication and because of that it gave me 5-10% tendon/joint damage and because of that I developed arthritis/fibro. Prior to this horror I use to train in the gym 5-6 days a week and it was my escape from reality. After this situation I had to give up the love of my life "lifting weights" and i stopped training for almost 8 years.

One day I looked at myself in the mirror and i was not happy with who I was. I decided to go back to the gym finally(9+ years later) and it's another obstacle that I was able to beat.

I share these things with you to give you hope and motivation. All of you are warriors as i have said before, all of us have that inner strength to move forward.....

Tinnitus is horrible, but life can still be lived and enjoyed!

My posts are here to be uplifting , motivating and not to offend people. I know some like to dwell on negativity but I still preach positivity and hopefully it can help someone out there

 

[Autumnly]

I wonder what habituation looks like for people with constant severe chronic tinnitus that don't get a day off. Can you still travel? Can you still have children? Can you call yourself habituated despite being home-bound? Can you still work? These questions are not directed at any member specifically, just general questions I have.
I can't imagine trying to live my life as normally as possible without making my tinnitus even worse. Habituation is definitely possible for the vast majority. Sometimes I'd even dare to say I've habituated despite t and h. But if that's what my life looks like being habituated... It's just sad.
I can imagine what habituation can be like for people with mild or moderate tinnitus that doesn't spike often, but I'm still wondering if I'm expecting too much from habituation. I know people with mild and moderate tinnitus that do everything they want to do in their lives.

 

[fishbone]

I wonder what habituation looks like for people with constant severe chronic tinnitus that don't get a day off. Can you still travel? Can you still have children? Can you call yourself habituated despite being home-bound? Can you still work? These questions are not directed at any member specifically, just general questions I have.
I can't imagine trying to live my life as normally as possible without making my tinnitus even worse. Habituation is definitely possible for the vast majority. Sometimes I'd even dare to say I've habituated despite t and h. But if that's what my life looks like being habituated... It's just sad.
I can imagine what habituation can be like for people with mild or moderate tinnitus that doesn't spike often, but I'm still wondering if I'm expecting too much from habituation. I know people with mild and moderate tinnitus that do everything they want to do in their lives.

I was thinking about measuring just how loud my tinnitus really is. As I have said before, I can stand on the side of the freeway and my tinnitus is louder and I still can hear it. I don't have a second off with my body pain and my loud tinnitus, it's a chore to always be upbeat, but I was created to do it.

Habituation is VERY possible but it all depends on how severe the tinnitus is and what mind frame the individual has. Even I wake up in the mornings at times and i think to myself "wow. I can't believe such a hell exists". I think like this for maybe 5 minutes and then get up and do what needs to be done for that day. Having severe tinnitus is horrible, but being home bound and scanning/listening for it all day is not going to help at all.

I will admit, life with severe tinnitus is not an easy one. I don't have the type of tinnitus that comes and goes or fades and disappears. On no medicine and just fight it daily with courage. That's ok, I like a challenge.

Point of this post is that, even when our backs are against the wall and MINE has been like that almost my whole life, we can still overcome it and move forward. Having positive and strong desire mindset will drive you further and can move you ahead.

Even with this garbage and super loud tinnitus, I still read 2-4 books a month and my concentration is mostly there. Being focused, driven and wanting to better your life....is how I look at things

Take care....

 

[Jazzer]

I was thinking about measuring just how loud my tinnitus really is. As I have said before, I can stand on the side of the freeway and my tinnitus is louder and I still can hear it. I don't have a second off with my body pain and my loud tinnitus, it's a chore to always be upbeat, but I was created to do it.

Habituation is VERY possible but it all depends on how severe the tinnitus is and what mind frame the individual has. Even I wake up in the mornings at times and i think to myself "wow. I can't believe such a hell exists". I think like this for maybe 5 minutes and then get up and do what needs to be done for that day. Having severe tinnitus is horrible, but being home bound and scanning/listening for it all day is not going to help at all.

I will admit, life with severe tinnitus is not an easy one. I don't have the type of tinnitus that comes and goes or fades and disappears. On no medicine and just fight it daily with courage. That's ok, I like a challenge.

Point of this post is that, even when our backs are against the wall and MINE has been like that almost my whole life, we can still overcome it and move forward. Having positive and strong desire mindset will drive you further and can move you ahead.

Even with this garbage and super loud tinnitus, I still read 2-4 books a month and my concentration is mostly there. Being focused, driven and wanting to better your life....is how I look at things

Take care....

An amazing post, as usual.
Because this guy can do it,
I Know That I Can Do It !!!

I needed to hear a story from somebody with permenant loud unchanging Tinnitus, before I could accept that coping was actually a possibility.
Fishbone is a mentor folks.
Read him, and just do it.

My own mantra:

Hear it
Accept it
Relax
Move on.

It truly works.

Jazzer xx

 

[Michael Leigh]

My posts are here to be uplifting , motivating and not to offend people. I know some like to dwell on negativity but I still preach positivity and hopefully it can help someone out there

Great inspiration message fishbone. Please keep the positive vibes flowing.....

 

[Autumnly]

I agree a positive mindset is essential. I'd say I can live with having severe tinnitus, but I'm not sure I can live with the restrictions that come with it if that makes sense. My friends are getting married, having children, getting promotions, traveling the world, moving abroad - and yes, I am definitely romanticising their lives to a certain extent.
I'm grateful that I can read books again, focus on drawing and sleep well - I can even do all those things while wearing hearing protection, thanks to my hyperacusis (I'm trying to wear hearing protection less and less). On some rare days when my chronic pain is really bad my tinnitus can reach a level where it's hard for me to understand people (despite only having mild hearing loss). I could definitely push myself to do more, I want to do more! But I can't imagine potentially having to live with that rare level constantly. I'm not sure anymore what is still possible for me and what isn't and I'm not sure I want to try it out and make my tinnitus worse. I have so many days where I tell myself: 'Screw this, I'm going to go back to college, get a job and do things in my life! I'm not letting this stop me'. I admire every person with tinnitus that still leads a fulfilling, productive life.
But who knows, maybe my situation will look completely different in a few years. I'm still hopeful. I read Michael's and fishbone's posts a lot to remind myself not to give into those negative thoughts.

 

[just1morething]

I have screaming tinnitus from hell right now, but the last thing I want to do is live with it. That's like driving a car with a muffler that is blown out and never fixing it. I'm still seeking solutions as the status quo is not satisfactory, not satisfactory at all.

I don't think a spank on the rear and telling someone "you can do it" is the right approach. But that is only my opinion.

 

[Jazzer]

I have screaming tinnitus from hell right now, but the last thing I want to do is live with it. That's like driving a car with a muffler that is blown out and never fixing it. I'm still seeking solutions as the status quo is not satisfactory, not satisfactory at all.

I don't think a spank on the rear and telling someone "you can do it" is the right approach. But that is only my opinion.

@just1morething - but what other option do we have, if we want to move forward.
For myself, knowing that a guy with loud, constant, full blown 'T' is still managing to succeed in life, and maintain such positivity, gives me the hope that this is possible for me.
@fishbone succeeds every day, against all the odds. Amazing. Thank goodness he is here...x

 

[fishbone]

@just1morething - but what other option do we have, if we want to move forward.
For myself, knowing that a guy with loud, constant, full blown 'T' is still managing to succeed in life, and maintain such positivity, gives me the hope that this is possible for me.
@fishbone succeeds every day, against all the odds. Amazing. Thank goodness he is here...x

Unfortunately there is no cure for tinnitus. My tinnitus is intrusive and a royal pain. On somedays I wake up and i say to myself "what the heck is this". "How is it possible to have such madness". It's a tough situation and makes me want to just lay in bed and do nothing. I cannot do that, so I may lay in bed for 5 minutes and then get up and go on about my day. Every day I have goals that need to be met, everyday I have things that must be done.

Everyday things are achieved whether they are small or big. Getting something done each day is a priority for me. If i have to take my dogs to the doctor that day, then that is the goal. If i have to clean the house, then that is the goal.

I/WE do not enjoy tinnitus, I actually hate having it, but that's life. There are folks out there that have no limbs and they will not GIVE UP! Tinnitus can be a serious affliction, but I have no other choice but to live my life. The past 3-4 days were ultra horrible and I depended on pink noise for most of those days, I kept my calm and just listened to my pink noise and did my daily tasks and achieved things.

Things have kinda gotten a little better, but the tinnitus is still intrusive and garbage. Even if my tinnitus is a living hell, I don't let my mind/brain/emotions know about it. I don't let this horrible menace get a rise out of my emotions make me lose it....

It's very easy to lose it with tinnitus, there are so much raw emotions/frustrations that are associated with it. In the end it all comes down to self control and not letting the tinnitus rattle me and make me super emotional.

In the end its all about loving yourself and those people and animals that love you. Do good in life, respect those that respect you back and just try to live a meaningful and productive life. Tinnitus can never take that away from anyone......I was a kind and giving person before tinnitus and I am even kinder and more giving now after the affliction

Never Give Up, Tomorrow is a new day and a new opportunity!