The Day the Music Had to Stop...

Yesterday was a sad day for me folks.
In the space of one hour, I folded up 50 years worth of jazz contacts, by phoning five bandleaders.

I also let my Facebook buddies know, with this announcement.

So thank you Tinnitus You
“F*CKING HORRIBLE NASTY B*STARD YOU”

“Dear f/b friends,
I wanted this opportunity to mention that I have decided to pack up playing.

(No great loss to Music - Lord Arsenal once told me I had Van Gogh’s ear for music.)

Not that I want to, but a necessity, brought on by the onset of a wretched condition called Tinnitus.
Those that suffer with it will understand only too well - those that don’t, will almost certainly not have a pickled clue, as this condition exists in near total ignorance in the general public.

As well as hearing permanent noise in the head, it brings on a painful sensitivity to even moderate levels of sound.
(Don’t be opening a packet of crisps near me please, if you don’t mind;
and I won’t be needing a cracker at Christmas......either!)

I have frequently found myself playing with some superb drummers, whom I have the greatest respect for, but since this ‘thing’ started I would anticipate a drum solo with a sense of impending doom akin to the advent of an apocalypse; when I would long to sprint out of the club, race up the lane, hare up the road, to that little corner shop up on the right, to hide in the doorway until I sensed that the danger had passed, when I could slowly slink back, with my ‘bone between my legs.

But seriously, I thank all those knockout players that have consistently brought a smile to my fisog, by their displays of musical creativity, and ingenuity.
Nice blokes too.
Hope to see you around fellas,
Best wishes
Dave xx”

 

So very sorry to hear this, Dave. I wish there was something I could say or do to make the sadness go away.

 

I’ll be okay Emma - I’ve got you guys xx

 

Yes you do. ❤️

 

Hi @Jazzer,
I know you have made the best decision for yourself but make sure you don't make it lower your mood just think it's retirement and a new beginning.
We are always here for you and you bring happiness on the forum to members so be proud of that as we are of you.
Love glynis x

 

I'm so sorry Dave xxx I'm interested to know how people responded to your status, were they understanding?

 

My jazz friends have been so lovely Holly,
it teared me up a bit, if I’m honest......xx

(This is all a bit embarrassing...)

• All I can say is you were a dream to play with. Such a unique and creative player. Good luck with everything mate. Hopefully cross paths sometime.

• Really sad news Dave Hewett. I have loved the opportunities (although not nearly enough) when I have been lucky enough to share a bandstand with you. Adore your playing and humour. You're a bloody nice bloke and I hope we cross paths again in the near future. The Jazz world is losing a lyrical gem of a player. Xx

• Dave - I am so sorry to hear your news (unless it is a sick joke). Although I have been off the UK scene for 20 years since moving to Portugal, I can say with absolute certainly that the scene will not be the same without you and you will be sadly missed.

• Dave Hewett, I’ve known your playing for half a century now, and I’ll miss it. So sorry to hear.

• Bugger, never got to play with you!

Seriously Dave, you have a reputation as a player of great ability and you will be a loss to the jazz scene. Maybe we can still share a lemonade some time though?

• So sorry to hear that Dave I have always admired your playing really great stuff.look after yourself mate.Rex..

• We are both sorry to hear this Dave, Martin says you're a wonderful player and will be a great loss to the scene. Hope you get some relief from this dreadful condition very soon. Your post was so eloquent you should write that Lee Wiley book now. Love Mr and Mrs Litton. Xxxx

• Dave I am so sorry to hear you have to give up playing,such a super player you will be greatly missed. Johnny suffered for many years with that dreadful complaint. I send you and Sylvie my love.xx

• Sad news Dave - Some of my best times have been with you in the line up.

Great player and a great bloke. If you ever need a shoulder mate.... give me a call.

• Wow Dave all these tributes don't surprise me at all, but they prove a point don't they? I'm gutted to hear your news and will miss playing with you hugely. All the best for your next chapter. Xx

• Hi Dave...so sorry to hear of your news. I have always liked and admired your playing.You have been an inspiration to me through your many recordings and live performances that happily a number of which I have been able to promote. My thoughts are with you and enjoy your retirement.

Always your good friend, Tad

 

Your friends are lovely!

 

@Jazzer
I'm so sorry about this, Jazzer. As I read through your threads when I first joined the forum, it was obvious you bring such comfort to so many here. I wish there was something I could say that would ease the difficulty of this, but offer my wholehearted support to you, here.

Mystery Reader

 

What lovely words M.R. I am touched.
Yes, leaving my jazz world will be sad,
but like the rest of you guys, losing my delicious silence was much tougher.
I know we can all come through this as we hold each other up through the tough times.
So many lovely people on here helped to support me at my worst, and if I can help anybody, I will.

 

What the others said, and also adding that you seem to be the glue. Know what I mean? The kind of person that kind of keeps the gang together so to speak. I know you will be sorely missed by many there you know in person. Just remember life has a way of compensating.....the loss of something can also open the way for a new something.

 

@Jazzer Dave you have such wonderful friends and a lovely wife and all the people here adore you. Especially the ladies.

I wonder where your path will lead you now? It seems I always end up where I am needed for some reason. And I never know how I sometimes landed where I would. I have learned to just accept this now.

 

I loved reading that Oka xx

 

I’m addicted to kindness Star,
just because it feels good and right xxx

 

This song just popped into my brain after reading your post....

American Pie with lyrics - Don McLean

 

@Starthrower - thank you for that. xx

Here’s me at my fervent best, laying some good old down home gospel on the folks in a local theatre.

I hope I won’t lose too many Brownie points if I admit that I am actually a devout agnostic.
(Let’s face it - nobody knows.)

I reckon I deserved an Oscar for this portrayal,
.......didn’t even get a nomination!

Old Rugged Cross

 

Loved that Dave. You have superb intonation, and a great feel.

Sorry to hear it’s all over, but as they say: when one door closes, another one opens.

Have a good day.

 

Correction Ed.....

“As one for closes,
Another one slams in your face”

(Hahaha.......) xx

 

Sorry.....

“As one door closes
another door slams in your face...”

 

I know @Jazzer. I cannot take Micheal Leigh anymore. So slam the door in my face please.

 

Oh ?

 

Awesome performance @Jazzer. You've got a new groupie.

 

“WOW! - I do love groupies xx”

 

@ Decibel Therapeutics @ Frequency Therapeutic @Otonomy please help this poor man with debilitating hearing conditions

 

My friend in human kindness to all...I cannot post in your Vunerable thread because as you can read the hypocrisy is going on. I am often in the same state @Jazzer even after all these years. The feeling comes and goes for me. I think you are grieving the loss of playing music right now and grief has so many stages. There is an empty spot inside that was once filled with your passion. And your soul is missing that but choices must be made sometimes. It will get better with time.

I understand.

 

@Starthrower ,
Please post where you like and I have no problem with you at all.
I tried pm you but for some reason I can't ...
Love glynis x

 

Oy Vey...Do I explain? Thank you Glynis I think when I joined up I turned off the profile access because...okay here it goes since I probably won't post much anymore. TT and the founders and staff are very much supported by me.

But to be blunt and honest I cannot take what Micheal Leigh @ Company do anymore to new people and to myself. I will never not support a person being unfairly attacked like @Jiri was by him. She was very responsive for Tracy and provided good insight. Micheal Leigh wrote horrible things about her and stated that everyone now knew her true colors and did not like her. That type of shit will never be okay and no one dared to stand up.

I cannot ignore what he does in every post warning people that I am a horrible person. I cannot take the bragging about "ignoring" trash people like me. I cannot take the boasting about his monetary worth and home and car and blah blah blah. I cannot take his judgement of others upbringings.

I think I made myself clear in that one thread.

I didn't know another Tinnitus God existed on your side of the world. The one reason I began here after a long time away from anything tinnitus was because that "Tinnitus God" over here would never be allowed back. That took a lot of guts to stand up for the right thing because the internet has been basically terrorized by that one person for years and years.

I was terrorized by that person. The reason for keeping my profile closed. And now to see that same type of behavior again...it is just too much because I rarely get responsive like I did.

I see the newer people being drawn into his battle of Tinnitus God with the bragging about PMing and ignoring and snide remarks. I remember when I was that person years ago who was so broken and then used and forced to take a "side". And then the remarks of "his" good friends blah blah blah. And then they show up and shit talk.

When a man talks that way to any woman people should stand up and stop it.

 

@Starthrower ,
I can reply to this if you open your pm as It would not be right to do it for all to see .
Love glynis x

 

I saw what I needed to see.

Just one little thing @Starthrower - I am a guy : ) I hope this doesn't change now how you feel about the situation.

I was staying up until 4 a.m. my time, bec I was concerned about Tracy. Even tho, I took my benzos 1 a.m. to help me sleep. That doesn't matter now. The important thing is, that this forum needs people like yoursefl. People who stay true to themselves and won't just 'eat popcorn & enjoy the show' when someone is unjustly offended by snide remarks.

So please, don't leave. I tried to p.m. you mysefl to say thanks, and just let you know, if you ever need backup - I'll be there. It’s a code of honor: You watched my back, I watch yours. As for Michael Leigh and what happened in that thread; I could've easily lose my cool and return fire. I'm no walk-over. I realized that he's an elderly person who has been suffering from this tinnitus monster since 1995, and is probably hurt deep inside. That made me cool my jets.

Otherwise this would have likely been the scenario: "Shields up, red alert, arm phasers and ready photon torpedoes!" “Fire when ready!”- Worf, Chief Security Officer of the Federation Starfleet (Lol) I hear you, tho. You explained it well

...
​

Hello @Jazzer we two never interacted with each other. That doesn't mean I wasn't reading your posts. You come across as a genuine, good-hearted person, and I am very sorry to hear that you've decided to pack up your playing.

As a postgrad student (who can't even finish his dissertation now bec of bad tinnitus - literally, the last thing I need to get my master's degree), I believe in science & research. There's plan A (UoM S. Shore's study), plan B (Neural beamforming @kelpiemsp), and what appears to be a plan C (http://www.flagstaffbusinessnews.com/offering-hope-through-the-levo-tinnitus-system/). Moreover, my flatmate (a Ph.D. student @ UCL) had a meeting with Dr. Roland Schaette from UCL The Ear Institute, Faculty of Brain Sciences. My uni is Birkbeck College, University of London btw. Dr. Schaette said that S. Shore's study is definitely the one to target and that once we figure out how to restore hearing - there will be no hearing problems anymore. With that I trust French, medical biotechnology company Affichem. Their research looks very promising. Why am I saying all this? Could you not think of your situation as a temporary break until we get our hearing sorted? Then you will be able to return to your passion

Cheers,

Jiri

P.S.: I live a very isolated life now. Basically, just dwelling on the past, tinnitus free days when I didn't even know such condition existed. I miss dearly spending time with friends, whether be it in our student bar to chat, look @ ladies & just to socialize. Also, very occasionally hitting a club, bec I love music too! I didn't even need alcohol.

I worked a lil too hard, tho (had a manual heavy lifting type of a job, pulling in 50 hrs a week) while doing a full-time degree in London. I miss that city. Even tho it's ridiculously expensive. The last month I spent there, I lived literally in a housing construction site (my landlord decided to expand our house) just so I could finish my research project. I didn't have time to look for another place to stay and occupation at the same time. A little too much for my body to take and this shait tinnitus was my "reward" I guess when my body just gave in.

Let's hold out hope for better tomorrows.

Ok, I'm done with my lil rant at the end. If you've made this far, then thanks for listening

Have a great day, everyone!

 

Hi Jiri
Thank you for connecting.
I felt very sad reading your story - we are all experiencing the aftermath of a personal tragedy aren’t we?

Yes, I do so hope that this research does bear fruit. But I am not a horizon watcher, searching for sight of a palm tree, which may or may not indicate land.
That would mean living for tomorrow.

I believe I am a ‘brutal’ realist (so god is out - together with Father Christmas - and the Fairy Godmother.)
We have to accept reality.
But we can, of course, hope.
Dave x

PS - I do have a grudging respect for the tooth fairy,
she gave me two bob once. x
But the next time, she forgot.......x