Holly1987

@Drone Draper can you simply buy that poison somewhere? I’m curious...

Yup. The finality of the euthanasia option would work well for me in this instance. I can probably manage what I have now for the rest of my life, but a sudden surge to the hell that Bam or dpdx describes is more pain than I could live with.

Interesting... I’m glad you’re doing better :). Let’s hope neuromod releases their device sooner than expected!

It's only taken me 2 years to figure this out but stress related spikes (so far) always go away after approx 3 days.

....he never writes - never phones...?

I have never used avocado! Does it make it creamy?

Not really. You really don't notice it is even in the mix.

I don't make them and rarely drink but chocolate, ice cream and avocado is bizarrely so good.

I swear work is worse than high school. I don't care about office drama and don't appreciate people trying to gossip with me. Find someone else..

Like I genuinely don't give a shit lol.

Also it makes me instantly distrust them... Like what are you saying about me behind my back?

This was me yesterday. I cried for a bit, let it out and continued my day. I'm glad you are staying strong.

Love your new profile pic @OnceUponaTime, it's lovely to put a name to a face.

Thank you Holly. :) I figured, after almost 5 years on tinnitus talk, I'd show my face...lol

My dream right now is to just sit in a quiet room and read a book. That's it.

I looked into support groups last winter and found one about 45 minutes away that met perhaps once every three months.

Many on this site, myself included, prefer quiet to crowded rooms though I suspect a t support group would keep the volume down.

The only way to know for sure is to go to a meeting and base your opinion on that.

I will definitely go if they update their meeting schedule, 2018 dates still up!

I've seen a few people on this forum say their partner left them. It's pretty terrible. This condition is one of the worst things I could imagine.

It is hard to maintain a relationship, especially if your partner doesn’t understand or care.

I feel like if my girlfriend dumps me, I will need to meet someone on a tinnitus dating site.

"I enjoy peaceful mornings, campfires, rain and fans. I also enjoy bi-modal stimulation and would like to have someone to share my time sitting still with a thing stuck to my tongue".

Interesting.. I just did this test and only scored 54%

https://www.psychologistworld.com/influence-personality/five-factor-test/neuroticism-quiz

On this Neuroticism Test, your score is: 86%

Yeesh that test is so confusing...

A flacon of antibacterial gel can be helpful ;)

You not down with the earmuffs outside life? I have decided I will wear earmuffs at in the street and public spaces except work for a while and see how I get on.

I always wear my x5a's in public facilities just in case.

And @Hazel !

Great you found it on Spotify - just posted about that in the Episode 1 thread in the Podcast category here on TT.

Thank you for the kind words holly!

Oh also I hope it doesn't sound like I'm minimizing mild tinnitus, it can be just as debilitating for some. I've just had it a while now so I am coping better.

I've noticed the t in my head gets louder before a quiet spell as well. I wonder why it works like that?

It's so weird!

My co-workers used to expect me to join them at a pub on Fridays a couple of times a month. At one point I stopped coming to these gatherings. Now they are not surprised when I am not there. You've got to be firm...

Oh yeah... After getting T, I hate socializing or going out now. I don't even feel like seeing my close friends.

Same!

What kind of car is it?

A Suzuki swift!

They never made those in the states but I'm familiar with them being an auto enthusiast. Replace it with a new Swift Sport! https://carimages.com.au/ao_KRMIGy41Q01FVvGIA0UKMlHU=/fit-in/930x620/filters:stretch(FFFFFF)/editorial/117613/2018-suzuki-swift-sport-181.jpg

@SugarMagnolia - so true that there are "fates worse then death" - there are many illnesses and conditions, severe T with H included, where I would certaintly prefer death. Death is not something I am to scared of......suffering endlessly is!

@SugarMagnolia spot on.

Absolute nonsense.

"Although not life threatening, tinnitus can ruin your ability to sleep and concentrate for life, akin to Chinese audio torture. In addition, it is a known cause for suicide".

On long flights you can always get up once every half an hour and walk around and do squats. I think that if you do that, you don't need any special gear.

Do you think you will fly again now you have t @Bill Bauer ?

I began flying a little over a year after the onset. The longest flight I've been on over the past year was 16 hours long. If one doesn't go on turboprop planes (the ones with a propeller), and wears noise-cancelling headphones (with earplugs underneath), it ought to be ok. Airbus planes are especially quiet (unlike Boeing planes).

Won't be taking them anymore I think.

Maybe I'll save them for when I feel like a wild night at home, get high on painkillers and dance to Billy Joel. Idk.. I'll think about it.

make sure they aren't ototoxic pain killers.

@Holly1987 Did you have anesthesia for your surgery? Did it effect your T? I'm having anesthesia on Thursday. It should be for a very short time. I'm hoping for the best.

@SugarMagnolia I did and it actually made my T go away for around 3hrs after, it was crazy. After that it went back to baseline, no spike. Good luck x (I'll tag you in my post about it)

Thanks Holly. I actually asked the doctor if I could have the procedure awake but he said it would be too painful. I'm glad it shouldn't affect my T. But I'm still scared because I don't like to be unconscious. I'll let you know how it goes.

[This is unfortunate, as lanes end all of the time, so if you don't pay attention and just drive straight, you will eventually find yourself driving in the lane reserved for the traffic going in the opposite direction.]

To change into another lane, you have to steer into the path of drivers in that lane, forcing them to slam on their breaks to avoid a collision.

Drivers pass you on your left, as you are making a left turn (causing you to slam on your breaks).

I remember screaming literally in utter terror and horror once every minute or so.

Some drivers stop in the middle of the road and chat with pedestrians. These conversations normally take 2-5 minutes (a little longer than waiting for a traffic light to change, but it feels like an eternity as everyone who is stuck behind them is honking their car horn).

Hey Holly, hope everything goes well tomorrow. I had surgery and didnt need antibiotics. I'll pray for you. :)

Thank you!

Some antibiotics are OK. Ask one that is not ototoxic

I agree, but it's a really important 10% because it determines the degree to which lost fat is replaced with muscle vs just flabby skin. But, yes, very crudely, weight is just a calorie game, and if your calorie input is less than what you're burning, you lose weight.

My metabolism is insane, though, I can barely gain weight if I try...

Over the last year I have discovered my new weight gain is 90% tinnitus, 10% just food :////

Same here, Manny. I got my BMI down to 22.5 and was able to keep it there for years. Once I got T, my weight began to increase and now I am struggling to get back to BMI that is optimal for me - at most 23...

I don't think you will see Dr Nagler at this forum again, not after reading some of the comments he made about TT that I will not mention.
Michael

I think he was extremely divisive, condescending, and that his compassion and good advice was at odds with his basically 1970s understanding of tinnitus which he refused to update.

Oh wow I missed all that drama.

Who is the man on your new avatar, @threefirefour?

Oh it's Gerard Green. He's a professional mover.

LOL! Awesome.

The place we are staying is super quiet and my tinnitus sounds 100 times louder. Perhaps the anxiety of travel made it louder too...

V nice shower here tho, it's like the size of our whole bathroom at home lol.

You guys are in Australia?

In an earlier post, Holly mentioned that she is Australian. I live in Canada.

Yep I'm in Australia :)

(Massive first world problem)

I wish I knew how style hair myself..

> (Massive first world problem)
Well, yes, being transformed from first world to third world (and you had described one sign of that) is unique to the "first world." The guiltier people like you feel, the faster we are becoming a third world country. So don't worry, soon there will be many more problems for us to deal with, and the problem you described won't seem so unusual.

I tried thinking like that but I can't seem to make it work :/ I can't hear it as anything else then coming from my head. Sometimes though, I will go to audionotch and find my tinnitus tone and then make it a tiny bit more low pitched and then play it as a masker......somehow "taking the noise out of my head" and playing it from a device helps.

That's such a good idea!

I go outside and pretend it's a bird making the high pitch sound. Sometimes it helps. Winter time don't help because you're stuck indoors.

You can always chat with me. I have nobody to talk to about T either :(

>sometimes I feel a bit neurotic posting so much.

Tell me about it!...

You are not annoying at all!! I for one like your comments.