'The Noise Got Too Loud, Sorry' — Christopher Neile, 57, Killed Himself Waiting to Go to Dignitas

Since you refer to having a wife as a "ball and chain".... you are one who should NEVER marry!

 

I agree.

To me, children are parasites. People like me shouldn't have children.

 

He basically said he is worried about leaving his wife, to me that sounds like he's putting his wife before his own needs. That's exactly the type of person that should marry.

 

I prefer my life to be compromise-free.

 

She was talking about me. I think you are talking about the person who had committed suicide. It sounds like he is not like me, and his probability of committing suicide would in fact have been lower had he still been married.

 

People who have others whom they love and who support them, when needed, are less likely to do away with themselves whereas those who have no one and suffer loneliness are more likely to commit that ultimate final act.

 

Speak for yourself! I think of anything that is not solitude as rape (as in being forced to do something against my will). I prefer to not be raped.

Whatever enjoyment I get out of life when I am single is the maximum enjoyment I can possibly get out of life.

 

Dunno about that, but they sure as hell can be tinnitus spiking machines.

 

I wasn't thinking about the monetary cost. I was thinking about the most precious thing we have - time.

 

Why make a thread about this.

Exactly.

 

I think T alone is a condition that is able to bring you to the point of despair. I still wrestle with suicidal thoughts.
Before my T got bad, I didn't suffer from depression, anxiety or insomnia. Only one GP understood that I struggled sleeping and felt depressed purely because of loud T. All the other GPs I saw kept asking what else was going on in my life to cause the insomnia and depression.
Since childhood my T was mild.
In 2010 it became moderate.
I would say it is now possibly severe but there is no way of comparing it with others. It's multitonal and loud and distressing and definitely louder than it was in 2010.
I go to a support group. The folk there are great and we keep each other sane. We usually have a laugh and can bring things into perspective.
Find a support group if you are struggling, or even start your own.

 

Note that the events here happened in 2012. This is super old news.

Yes, please, let's have troll posters who repost the four news stories from the last ten years about tinnitus suicides every three days; that will definitely help this place feel like a useful and supportive community.

 

Fuck that! This is exactly what should be on a forum made by a tinnitus sufferer for other tinnitus sufferers: to bring awareness, to draw attention of doctors and researchers to put an end to this shit (tinnitus).

You may argue that those cases are "rare". That may scare the new sufferers that their tinnitus may get louder, true. Indeed, if you make a ratio between people who had no choice but to take their own life, which ceased to deserve the name "life" but rather "torture to an innocent person", and the very large number of people with mild tinnitus or even soft tinnitus, the percentage will be very low, but, guess what, i do not give a shit for this statistic number right now. Because around him there are people who manage to live a normal or almost normal life even with their T, does that mean that the his life and what happened to him should be sweeped under the rug. How cruel of you! How inconsiderate!

His life, his hard to imagine suffering, did not count? We are too many on the planet anyway to worry about just one person? Jesus!

Your posts are so upsetting, so unfair, @Raphael7713, that i think that YOU shouldn't be on a support forum, fucker!

 

'The Noise Got Too Loud, Sorry'

This statement pretty much sums up why T is so debilitating, this conditions is just too easily permanently worsened by mundane every day events, honestly I don't know of any other conditions that has this characteristic, and when it does get worse your options are learn to live with the new leave or die.

 

You are in error, my friend: your parents shouldn't have had children, you parasite!
Do not get me wrong, i am not calling you "parasite", God forbid, you called yourself, since you are the chid of your parents, smartass.

 

I agree. It makes it so much harder that this condition is worsened by innocuous, everyday events. Like when you're taking a walk and a dog barks or a motorcycle passes by. Or you're sitting in a restaurant and a child screeches at a table beside you. These are all everyday events that are a part of life. They aren't supposed to impact your enjoyment of life at all. And the people behind these noises often don't know that they're affecting you in any way at all. But because of tinnitus any sudden loud noise carries the potential to further ruin your life and incites panic and fear. It disrupts a relaxing day outside and ruins social interactions because in the middle of a conversation you have to leave because "the music is too loud at this restaurant." It just puts you in this constant, perpetual stage of panic and tension. I think it's the only condition that has this characteristic as well. And it causes life to become so limited and isolating. It really does make it feel like the only options left are to struggle with it or die.

 

I guess I'd probably give you the same advice I'd want you to give me in this situation, and that is to keep going. I wouldn't be telling you to kill yourself on TT.

Sounds like you're not getting much benefit from your mental health pro. If they're not relating to you, find another. Probably the most helpful therapists are those who are experienced in counselling people with chronic and terminal illnesses. They're meant to get you to a point of acceptance........somehow. Also to listen to you cry and moan. You're paying them for the privilege after all. And it'll spare your partner and friends.

You could read a hundred stories like Christopher Neile's and whilst they're useful in terms of publicising the plight of T and H sufferers to the wider public, they do nothing for you. Today or tomorrow. Probably, if you're like me, only fill you with terror. Acceptance of a life changing event like this, dealing with the grief of a lost life and adopting strategies to cope day to day, is all we can try to do. Not very sexy, I know!

Any other options are pretty bleak. We live in hope that things will get better one fine day.

 

After ATEOS said:

Jim, how you managed to make us laugh even during such a sad thread, you, who have months of catastrophic T&H under your belt, i don't know, but somehow you did it. Again.
Welcome back!

 

I don't have a problem with being a parasite. If you let me take your money, and if you spend time on projects that will benefit me, I won't say no. So if you were trying to make me feel bad, it didn't work. I have great respect for what parasites do (while not respecting the hosts who let this happen to them).

Your post reminded me that of course having kids is unfair to the kids too. I DO tell my mom frequently that if not for her, I would not have to deal with any of the problems that I have been dealing with.

 

This post doesn't help members of this forum.

 

See, Mr Bauer, if you do not have respect for the host who allows you to parasite them, that means that you do not have respect for tinnitustalk.com forum. You know why the marvellous post to Fabrick, who sounds like he is very sick, in which you present him the advantages of killing himself disappeared? The director of this forum deleted it. You see, the managers of the forum do some parasite cleansing once in a while, so do not disrespect this forum that much. Or underestimate it.

But you do say that the time that she gave you on this planet is the most precious thing to you:

Mr bauer, i officially declare you an idiot, for the way you contradict yourself, for the things you are saying, disrespectful to life, kids, people who want children, wifes who are, in your opinion, like a ball and a chain, T sufferers, people who killed themselves because of catastrophic T, practically to everybody excepts parasites like yourself. Your posts are the very definition of a psychopath/sociopath.

The people on this forum love their spouses or life partners, or dislike the isolating "quality" that T gives to a life, love their children or want children, love life and are on this forum to live better and, in the worst cases, to find a way to avoid suicide, whose "advantages" you presented, before your pearls of thoughts were deleted, so i would like you to get yourself another host, will ya?

Oh, and do you you know the name of the spray that is used to parasite cleanse? Banning!

 

Speak for yourself.

 

Let's agree to disagree.

 

It is clearly a symbiotic (and not a parasitic) relationship.

Too bad. I guess the moderator had recognized that post for the impactful writing that it was. Having one's posts deleted is a risk one takes when making posts on a forum. I enjoyed composing that post - and I guess ultimately that is the only thing that matters (as far as I am concerned).

I was addressing my audience. Another thing that happened is that when I was talking about reasons not to have kids, I was using ideas I came up with more than a decade ago. I haven't been thinking about having kids ever since. Meanwhile, my thinking about the preciousness of one's time had evolved. There is still no inconsistency, though. Life can suck, but that's the thing about life - it can always get even worse, and the way I see it, a kid would make my life even worse.

You do know that this forum has an "Ignore" feature. Please do both of us a favour and add me to your ignore list.

I wanted to add the above to my signature (so that it would appear underneath all of my posts), but I couldn't figure out how to do that. Looks like one needs to upgrade and become a benefactor to be able to do that.

If you were to read my posts carefully, you would see that I always tried to make it clear that I was talking about my personal point of view.

No.

 

A forum full of fragile people and a post about suicide doesn't help. I'm not fragile and not bothered by my tinnitus like many here are. Negativity breeds negativity, and this forum doesn't need it. I will not bother arguing this...just read the many posts here on this forum and it's obvious i am right....

 

You are flattering yourself now.


Sorry, honey, i cannot use the "ignore" feature, cause in that case i could not use the "report", my favourite feature when people like you go over the board, like you did with Fabrick.

 

@fishbone
Pathetic!

 

Read the posts on this site before trying to make a valid point..thanks

 

You just admitted that you can't think of how to prove me wrong, and so you have to resort to pointing and shrieking "shut it down."

 

I can't be mad at you @Dana - you have had tinnitus for 9 years...