The Positivity Thread

every day,it stays brighter out longer. today it wasn't dark til after 6:00 PM.... summer's coming!

 

Positive news: I ate yesterday so much salty and sugary foods and even drank a glass of pepsi, so I was extra prepared to a huge spike, but NOTHING happened!!

 

Well done Katriina.

Sugar, salt or Coke doesn't have any effect on my T, too.

I even was on carnival procession here in Germany yesterday and enjoyed this with my family. It was so damn loud and I plugged my ears sometimes with fingers. But I did not wear ear plugs. My T is always loud (high pitched and I can always hear it) and I haven't found out yet (after 5 months) what it makes louder or quieter. Also was running today and it stayed the same.

So I try living my life as normal as possible to habituate in the near future.

 

Way to go. Just dare the T bully and eat what you want. I used to tip-toe around T to see what was safe to eat. After some time I said 'Screw It!' to the bully and went about eating what I want. MSG, sugar, salt, deep fried, spicy, whatever, it didn't matter and I treasured the 'freedom' I win back from the T bully. When we cease to react to T high or low, it doesn't have any more power to tell us what to do, what to eat. Freedom at last!

 

I'm in the same place with you. The verdict is out. The GABA seems to help me sleep some nights as does the magnesium. It's funny, but I want to make an important observation. As I read through these positive posts, my T is noticeably quieter and I don't even have my hearing aids in yet. Now that's what I call medicine.

 

So I just got home from a very loud dinner party with around 15 participants in a small dining room. On the ride home my T was screaming but I was just so happy to be talking with all my friends and catch up on good memories that I simply didn't care. I am now ready to go to bed and have a nice night of sleep and you know what T is not bothering me any more not even if the loudness right now reminds me of my condition!
I'm glad to be alive, I'm glad that I can feel, I'm glad that I can experience true friendship and the feelings there comes with it.

Life is amazing we just have to get through over rough times. As the philosophic freak, which I am, I guess I have to throw in the most epic quote from my favorite philosopher, Friedrich Nietzsche:

"Out of life's school of war: What does not destroy me, makes me stronger" The Twilight of the Idols by Friedrich Nietzsche (1899).

 

As I climb my insurmountable mountain yearning for greater heights and fresher air, as a lot of you are, I can not but be reminiscent of the great poet Tagore's mysterious words “In the mountain, stillness surges up to explore its own height. In the lake, movement stands still to contemplate its own depth.” The ever fleeting transcendence of such words does not serve well in times of hard contemplation and rough journeys, I thought. However, I was wrong.


Slowly, I was overturned by such lucid words as they lent themselves to me, step by step, word by word, to become more hardened and rigid the further I went, and to reward me onwards and upwards, the harder I tried.


Now I understand.


“In the mountain, stillness surges up to explore its own height.”


Stillness, my calmness, my meditation, my neutral firm ground to assess and reassess, to give each burden its rightful weight. Not too much, so if I was to be too heavy I would not be able to climb, and not too little, so if I was to be too light I would be blown away by the faintest of winds. So each problem, each worry, each package of sadness I receive every morning is neither foolishly discarded nor maddeningly embraced.


Suddenly, unbeknown to me how, my stillness gathers, accumulates, surges upwards, bringing me with it, to explore my own height, my on top, as if the words themselves transformed into an old beloved friend who laid the faintest of whispers and the hardest of truths onto my very needy ears - “your attitude determines your latitude”


With lungs filled with fresh air of the excitement of this new sentiment, I now climb every day trying to find the roads and paths, though they are few, up to my mountain top, ever onwards and upwards towards the better air, the greater view. Though, it took me a great deal of time to understand the latter part of what the great poet said, I held unto it until it revealed itself to me one day when I needed it the most.


“In the lake, movement stands still to contemplate its own depth.”


We need to find our own depths friends. Our stormy emotions can not overtake our lives. Therefore the lake of our inner emotions demands that movement be still, in order for it to ponder its very depth, its needs and wants. Likewise, fellow climbers and mountaineers, we need to assess that which is at the bottom before we climb to the top.


So I ask of you, as I ask of myself.


Lets contemplate the lake of our inner depths, in order for us to be still and surge upwards our highest heights.


Ali

 

I would write here some very encouraging words, but I am afraid jinxing myself (again)

 

Hi JTP and everyone else. Great thread! I know what you mean about jinxing yourself. My T cycles like this: a few good days followed by a couple of not so good days. Seems that a couple of things have happened though. Over time, I've become better at not noticing the noise, unconsciously. I heard the expression " My mind has hardened to it" somewhere on this site - and its an expression that fits me. At the same time, I think I'm getting a few more good days at the expense of my allocation of bad ones. Its always there, but it doesn't impact my life too much these days. So that's Good news too. Good luck to you all. Keeping up your spirits in the face of this is everything.

 

Jtp this thread is about appreciating just one decent minute a day, dont be afraid to afford it not one who has written in here have not had the table turning completely after writing their positive experience. There are good minutes and bad days, however avoiding the positive wont even get you jinxed, were all afraid but the will of pursuing happiness should take up more space. Allow the minute instead of fearing it, and it will slowly turn into 5min, an hour, half a day and lastly a good day.

 

Beautiful writing indeed, Ali. You ought to be a poet or a writer. I like the metaphor of using mountain and lake too in my T journey. I learn to be resolute and firm as a mountain in the battle to overcome T, and yet remain calm and still as in the depth of a deep lake amid the fierce storm of T.

 

Hi,

@Roger , your experience mirrors mine a lot. Isn't it wonderful when you notice you are not really bothered by the noise?

@Tenna , great reply. in the beginning when I was having my more quiet hours I could not enjoy the moment at all. Just waiting for the Bogeyman T to come along. Recently I've begun to appreciate my moments of silence.

And that jinxing myself part.. some time ago I wrote a 'been doing so very great lately' post on another forum, woke up with spike, felt being in square one etc. But I was not in sq. one, it is ups and downs, but the trend seems to be back to normalcy and I am grateful to that. All the best for all..

 

I had two great naps today, didn't even notice my T. I never thought I'd sleep again in the worst of my days, at the beginning. I'm never taking napping for granted again!

 

Tenna
Rock on! That's what I'm doing too.

Mark

 

We might have T but at least we have super fit abs

 

LOL! Stina for president! Well, I gotta run now...

 

Way2Go RedThinker!!

 

Since start January I've had ttts (commonly referred to, by me, as the smurf kick). Randomly I found information provided by members in here, information that no doctor (5 different ENTs) nor communication centers have been able to provide me with. I've furtherly investigated it in detail, so today I phoned all of the above mentioned to get the direct emails of the doctors, so I can explain them directly about ttts

 

Tenna what's ttts?

 

Last night I was laying in bed with the tv on and i realized that i could not hear the high pitch ring in my right ear. I closed the tv and anything else that might make noise and still i could not hear it. The t in my left ear was down as well. I still had a lower tone t which is not as bothersome but i got up and sat and listened. I almost felt like i was in complete silence. It was so blissful and I was so happy to have those hours of quiet. When I woke up it was back to normal. That few hours has definitely brightend my mood and outlook.

 

That's great man, a little brightness here and there always helps! To be honest with you, every time I feel t can't hear my T, it kinda freaks me out. Huh, weird how something so annoying can become such a big part of you. I'll guess that only goes for me though xD

 

Haha I know what you mean. When it happened I def Freaked out a bit. Anything new happens and its like it's on default I just freakout. But it was nice.

 

@cullenbohannon
That's awesome! Silence is blissful; hope you get more time like that. BTW, T is a little rude like; it will get up and leave without even saying goodbye

 

Hey guys my name is mike I have had T for a little over a year, at first I was a mess,, got a hold if it but it seems to be bothering me again hope I can get it in control again I like the support and success stories

 

It's tonic tensor tympany syndrome which is linked to h and t, it may cause a lot of different symptoms, specifically the ear fluttering for my case (middle earmuscle contracts everytime I finnish speaking or hear specific sounds, so does a normal ear, mine is just overreacting)
Nevertheless I took contact to the different doctors I've visited, to provide them feedback and knowledge, and to tell future cases like myself and many others that the fluttering is benign, and that it can be treated

 

This sounds a lot like middle ear myoclonus, I guess ttts is another name for it. I'm suspect this is what I have to. Going to see a doctor soon and let him know what it is. Your right most doctors don't know about this at first I thought it was my eardrum that was fluttering but this makes more sense. Hopefully you make life easier for a future patient!

 

Hey Mike, Welcome!! Sorry to hear your T is messing with you again! It sucks! But you WILL prevail!! Get stabilized, get your sleep, exercise, and take some time to do what you like to do. Don't let your T rob you of joy!

 

This thread is so great, I love it! This new level of T is driving me crazy, reading this has calmed me down a bit, even though my head is screaming at the moment. lol.

 

Yeah Wille, mine too!! Gnarly today, but I am not going to let it win! I am going to have a good day despite my T, and I hope you do too!!

 

Mine's screaming too! I just screamed back at it (til the men in white suits came and took me to a nice place ). Hang in there dude!