Tonight Because of Severe Tinnitus I’m Sleeping in a Cell

Discussion in 'Support' started by Bam, Jul 5, 2018.

    1. Bam

      Bam Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Neck/stress
      Lost it tonight. Mentally the pressure of living with a constant scream pushed me right to the brink. I couldn't take anymore. Things are supposed to get better and yet 8 months in and I’m getting worse.

      The police found me and now I’m here sleeping on a plastic bed in a mental ward.

      Never in my worst nightmares could I have envisaged what this affliction could push me to. I’m not posting this for sympathy. I’m posting it so that if any of your family or friends are belittling your struggle and doubt how bad ‘ringing in the ears’ can get you show them this post.... I'm clinging on to life by my finger tips daily. My hope is gone. When you consider the perfectly normal life I had before severe tinnitus it’s a tragedy.
       

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    2. Bill Bauer
      No Mood

      Bill Bauer Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      February, 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma
      I am so sorry that you have been suffering so much...

      What happened?
       
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    3. Wolfears

      Wolfears Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      Jan 20/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Most likely accoustic trauma
      Sorry to hear about your predicament Bam...not quite sure what happened and why the police was looking for you but my heart goes out to you.
      Your fine and witty writing style gives a strong voice to those who suffer and who want the truth about tinnitus to come out in the open.
      I hope you keep posting for long time to come.
      People out there need to know what this horrifying nightmare is capable of doing to a normal, happy and well adjusted individuals.
      I hope all the ignorant "medical professional" assholes who keep telling people to "learn to live with it" are reading this.
       
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    4. Jazzer

      Jazzer Member Benefactor Ambassador Hall of Fame Advocate

      Location:
      UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      1/1995
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
      But what else can they tell us?
      As you know - they don’t have the answer?
       
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    5. emmalee
      No Mood

      emmalee Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      ?
      I am so very sorry to hear this, Bam. We are all here for you.
       
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    6. glynis
      Feminine

      glynis Member Benefactor Ambassador Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      2004
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Meniere's Disease
      @Bam,
      Tinnitus can be real mental torture for some people and I know how that feels as I live with it too!
      Your in a place of safty now so your cry for help should help you with some specialised care to support you .
      We are here Bam and we all do care about you and sending all our love to you so hold on to that thought.
      love glynis x
       
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    7. New Guy
      Doh

      New Guy Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      3/18
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise Induced Hearing Loss
      I hope you can get some masking in that room.... Hope things change for the better soon.
       
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    8. TracyJS

      TracyJS Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Illinois
      Tinnitus Since:
      2/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic trauma
      @Bam
      I am so so sorry. We care about you and are here for you.
       
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    9. Static Sophie 73

      Static Sophie 73 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2002
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Medication
      I have just this moment bam as I sit outside a movie cinema that was too loud for me, have lifted you up in prayer ... Wherever you are I am thinking of you - hold on in there Bam
       
    10. BobK544

      BobK544 Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      1991
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      suspect sulfur medication
      Very sorry to hear about your situation Bam......when my T spikes, which it does now on a regular basis, like every 4th day or so, i listen to a 14k notched file on a sandisk mp3 player and i've just started researching hearing aids that also have notched sounds built in, because listening to a notched file helps me stop obsessing with how loud my T is during a spike and helps me change my focus, otherwise every other thought is how loud it is and that turns into more anxiety which in turn makes things worse in my case. So its sort of a way to escape from yourself and hand off the listening obsession for a period of time and get some relief and this approach, in combination with vagus stimulation, is what is currently in clinical trials i believe.
      http://www.hearingreview.com/2008/1...g-aids-hearing-care-professional-perceptions/
       
    11. valeri

      valeri Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Australia
      Tinnitus Since:
      09/2011
      It’s beyond me what “just a noise” can do to people yet nobody cares!
      F..k:banghead:
       
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    12. Wolfears

      Wolfears Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      Jan 20/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Most likely accoustic trauma
      Sorry maybe I didn't write it as good as I should have.
      I'm talking about the general attitude problem in the medical field when it comes to tinnitus.
      This condition is portrayed as "mildly annoying" and really not that big of a deal....the whole "learn to live with it" is a reflection of that attitude...sometimes even presented as a joke of sorts.
      It's mainly the systemic propaganda I was getting at...the true sufferers are not being taken seriously.
       
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    13. glynis
      Feminine

      glynis Member Benefactor Ambassador Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      2004
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Meniere's Disease
      @Bam,
      We all are thinking about you.
      Update us when you can love everyone from Tinnitus Talk xxx
       
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    14. fishbone
      Shitfaced

      fishbone Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      1988
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      loud noise and very bad sickness
      GEEZ! What happened? I'm sorry that this has happened to you. I highly suggest that you get some counseling bro. This really bothers me, that you ended up in a ward. You'll be in my prayers, bless your soul....
       
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    15. Jazzer

      Jazzer Member Benefactor Ambassador Hall of Fame Advocate

      Location:
      UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      1/1995
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
      Dear Bam
      I have massive respect for the transparent honesty with which you have written this piece.
      To admit to the very worst aspects of tinnitus is to confront the very devil itself.
      I too suffer permanent intrusive loud noise, that seeks to permeate my entire existence.
      It never dips, it never goes.
      To outward appearances, I probably appear to cope quite well,
      but the truth is, I really suffer so badly.

      I do practice deep relaxation, and meditation, which are useful tools, but of course, they do nothing to reduce the neuronal activity, or reduce the noise level.

      I have hinted several times at aspects of my tinnitus story, but have never written such a truly candid account.

      I will begin to think about it.

      I truly believe that we are all suffering from the worst possible syndrome there is.

      I have huge respect for you bam, and just wish I could offer anything that might help.
      I will be thinking about you much,
      Sending love to a buddy in suffering,

      Jazzer (as was)
      Dave
      xx
       
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    16. BobbyH

      BobbyH Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      1972
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      acoustical trauma
      I honestly empathize with you; I feel your pain. All I know how to do is pray. Take care my friend.
       
    17. Jcb
      No Mood

      Jcb Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      December 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      possible TMJ, came on after severe cold and chest infection,
      @Bam sorry man, I truly am. I appreciate your way of expressing your thoughts and feelings. Maybe you are in the best place for now. Try to stay strong.... all us weirdos will still be here.
       
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    18. Michael Leigh

      Michael Leigh Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Brighton, UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      April /1996
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise induced
      @Bam
      I am sorry to hear that you are not feeling well and hopefully things will turnaround for you soon. A person once telephoned me from a psychiatric hospital. Admitted because he couldn't tolerate the distress of his tinnitus and wanted to self harm. I am pleased to say that he made a good recovery. Try to focus on something positive even though things aren't going well for you at the moment, there is always hope.

      All the best
      Michael
       
      Last edited: Jul 5, 2018
    19. dpdx
      Disappointed

      dpdx Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      Murica
      Tinnitus Since:
      Onset:09/23/2017 Worsened: 1/17/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma, worsened by caloric test/VEMP test 90db nhL
      This is why we need educate people on Tinnitus and Hyperacusis. This is not a game people its a serious condition (brain condition) that needs to be addressed. People need to know to avoid loud sounds/places, and need to know what T is and can do.
       
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    20. Jazzer

      Jazzer Member Benefactor Ambassador Hall of Fame Advocate

      Location:
      UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      1/1995
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise
      I do not understand this statement......
      I am never less than sincere........
       
      Last edited: Jul 5, 2018
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    21. Marc22
      Wtf

      Marc22 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      1995
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      exposure to broken muffler noise
      Dear Bam:

      I am so sorry to hear about your case. I too ended up in a psych ward last january, because of a suicidally depressed meltdown due to having to move (see my story in the Hyperacusis section). I am feeling better and I have some control over circumstances causing the depression. But you do not know what is going on...and I am sorry to hear that. We can only be there for you. Loneliness and not being understood makes things worse, and I am feeling much of that these days, because I am between apartments with little support from so-called ''family and friends''. I mean, on my last day in an apartment that I had to leave, this so-called female ''friend' whom I had been bickering with a lot lately, actually turned on her smartphone to listen to some music, I told her to turn it off because it was hurting me, and she ignored me to get back at me. And I had done nothing to hurt her! So that is a little microcosm of the world we live in: little compassion, much indifference, and sometimes outright cruely from these 'familes and friends''. So let's try to help each other here at least, OK?

      Marco
       
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    22. glynis
      Feminine

      glynis Member Benefactor Ambassador Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      2004
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Meniere's Disease
      @Bam,
      Your in our thoughts and prayers and hope you get great care and support .
      Tinnitus is mental torture not sugar coating it for the ones who struggle and we are strong together on here than feeling alone.
      love glynis x
       
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    23. stophiss

      stophiss Member

      Location:
      Florida
      Tinnitus Since:
      April 2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      too full a life
      Bam,
      Many of us have suffered and know your pain.
      Can you get some meds to chill you out to take some of the sting of T away...and/or some noise masking as mentioned by other poster.
      We feel for you. Take care and feel better. This tinnitus scourge seems to go in cycles. I hope you get to a better place soon.
       
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    24. fishbone
      Shitfaced

      fishbone Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      1988
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      loud noise and very bad sickness
      My friend, we do indeed live in a cruel world. You try to set the example and maybe this world can follow. I do this daily and that's all we got...
       
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    25. Bill Bauer
      No Mood

      Bill Bauer Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      February, 2017
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma
      It won't follow.
       
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    26. fishbone
      Shitfaced

      fishbone Member Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      1988
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      loud noise and very bad sickness
      I know that Bill, can't we at least have hope at times......:woot:
       
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    27. dayma
      Frustrated

      dayma Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      1/6/2018
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      UNKNOWN
      Keep up
      Never lose hope man!
       
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    28. RicoS
      Alienated

      RicoS Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Netherlands
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Stress or Acoustic trauma
      @Bam are you ok ???
       
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    29. glynis
      Feminine

      glynis Member Benefactor Ambassador Hall of Fame

      Tinnitus Since:
      2004
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Meniere's Disease
      @Bam might not have charge on his phone or computer access and need time for the hospital to put support in place and medication but im sure he knows we are all thinking of him and will update us when he can.
      love glynis x
       
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    30. Vicki14
      Panicky

      Vicki14 Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      January 2016
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Stress
      @Bam Really so sorry to hear how this has gripped you. Truly am. I hope that you’ve reached your lowest point and now being to push yourself back up to the surface again. Take care, hugs.

      Quite unusual that they’ve let you have your phone in your room?
       
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