Visiting Grandparents Overseas, Recent Experiences of Travelling and Anxiety Over Loud Situations

I'm currently visiting my grandparents overseas. I'm having a bad spike and it's triggering anxiety attacks but I'm trying to stay calm. The town my grandma lives in is very loud. Cars honking, construction noises. I had a nightmare last night about walking through a very loud street, trying to run away from all the loud noise. I feel homesick but I'm dreading getting on the plane again. The plane ride here didn't even cause a big spike, but it was stressful and I don't really want to go through it again.

Talking to my family helps somewhat. My dad is always helpful but he's in the U.S. right now and I'm just here with my mom and my grandma, and I've been trying to complain about tinnitus to him less because he cares about me so much and he starts crying and I don't want to make him sad because his health is already not good. My mom used to not understand my tinnitus very well but she's being a lot more supportive lately. I get mad at her sometimes because she attributes my anxiety to psychological issues and "not being social enough" more than my tinnitus and doesn't acknowledge my tinnitus enough, but I know she does care and I love her. I feel guilty because I've given her such a hard time in the past. My grandma always listens to me and she's been comforting me a lot lately. Watching TV also helps. I brought like 12 books from home but I haven't read a book in such a long while because I can't focus because of the ringing.

We were walking down the street one day and we passed by the bus station (a lot of people use buses and taxis here.) I saw a man who was blind, using a cane to feel around. He walked in front of a bus that was 10 feet away and my heart skipped for a second but the bus stopped right away. I was wondering if I should ask him he needed any help but I was debating if it would seem rude. My mom asked him and he said "thank you. I just need to find the 19 bus." She was talking with him and having a conversation and he said that he went to work every day, on his own. He said he lived on his own too. He went back and forth between the city and his home every day. He was so kind. My mom led him to the bus and we went home. Some of my relatives said, "Look, that man is blind and he travels to and from work every day. See, there are people in worse condition than you." I agree, I think tinnitus is one of the worst diseases in the world, but blindness may be worse, comparing the two isn't really helpful though. But it doesn't really make me grateful to see someone in worse condition than me, it just makes me so much more sad, angrier at God. Life can be so cruel. It's not fair that there are innocent people suffering.

I've also been going to bed at 5 am ever since the spike, and waking up at around 2 pm. Lying in bed is hard because the ringing sounds much louder in the silence, and scarier in the dark, and I left my little white noise generator at home. My mom gets worried and she keeps saying I need to go to bed earlier, but I get nauseous hearing the ringing and the anxiety builds up, tossing and turning in bed and I have to get up. She's booked an appointment for a therapist for me for the following week. She was insisting I go for months but I refused because I've gone to so many therapists for my tinnitus and I really don't think it makes a difference, but I said okay finally to make her happy. Anyway, that's all, just wanted to share some of my recent experiences, thanks for reading all of this.

 

Thank you for sharing your dreadful experience.
Please enjoy your stay in foreign country.
Also, please hang in there.
Try to think positive in negative T.
You still have a long life to go.

 

It is nice to visit relatives overseas. I often look forward to those trips even though my relatives, like yours, live in loud cities or towns. I tried to focus on the positives of the trip and if needed wear musician ear plugs so they can block off all the extra loud noises but still allow you to hear the normal ambient sounds of the environment you are in. This will also help you to be less stressful or to avoid getting too anxious while you walk around and be able to enjoy your travels. When I go fishing in the rapids of the salmon river, that is what I have to do to bring some ear plugs so I can enjoy fishing for hours without risking hearing damage but I will focus on enjoying regardless of T.

If you have smart phone, you can download free APPs for tinnitus masking and perhaps use a bluetooth speaker and set it at an acceptable volume. These small portable speakers are cheap nowadays and you can buy it in most electronic stores. My wife is having this set up not for tinnitus but for listening to her favorite songs of the 70s and the 80s. She just links up the speakers to her smart phone and she can carry it everywhere, even in her car. Lol. If you sleep alone then you can definitely use this system using your smart phone to play masking sounds on bluetooth speakers.

I guess it is up to us how to view travel. Some find it a perfect way to distract from paying attention to tinnitus and don't mind the travel. Try to focus on the enjoyment of seeing the world and meeting people we love and it will be easier to handle travel, as you can see from Aaron's post below. He was initially suicidal and his fiancee even left him at his darkest time but he has found new joy in travelling the world. I will be travelling and cruising with my family in 3 weeks. So excited for it. Can't wait. Lol. Take care. God bless.

https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...are-with-you-some-pictures-i-took-after.3268/

 

Thank you so much for always being so helpful to everyone on this forum, Billie.

 

@butterfly, I hope you have been able to enjoy your stay with your mom and grandma. A change in scenery is always nice. We have cold and some snow here...a little bit too early for winter. It should melt next week however. I hope your tinnitus settles into the background, as well as any anxiety that goes with it.

 

@butterfly75

 

@butterfly75, Happy Thanksgiving! Hope you are better. I have to travel tomorrow. Got some replacement pills coming or getting a refund.

Got some help with some repairs....gives me a lot more incentive

 

Better to stay busy and maybe use some meds randomly when things are bad. I wish there was a long term solution. Waiting for replacement pills or refund.

 

Carrying earplugs helps. I put them on my keychain. Another thing, is if I'm having a particularly bad spike, I'll take B12 in the morning because they say the increased circulation helps. I don't think it does anything long term, but the placebo effect helps sometimes, you know?

Another thing is if I'm going through a spike, it helps me to not put myself in a situation where I can only hear my tinnitus. It stresses me out. Having a fan, hum of the fridge, sounds of traffic outside, those sounds help because I can tell myself, "those sounds are constant, and yet they don't worry me. I'm capable of this." Because tinnitus in itself isn't a condition, it's a side effect. It's not ruining your hearing more. It's your brain.

 

@butterfly75, hope you are better. Snowed here today. Still renovating house. Hissing is bad enough. Got gabapentin filled. Trying to find some consistent relief, if possible. I hope your spike went down.

 

Firstly, how old are you? What kind of therapist will you be seeing?

 

Thank you, spike didn't go down

 

19. I did see the therapist and I told my mom I didn't want to go anymore after one appointment. Both my parents want me to see a different therapist now and a psychiatrist. I've seen over 5 therapists for tinnitus I think, and I don't think they did much help, sadly. I really wanted them to, but even just talking to this therapist for 1 hour, I just had this dread and sense of hopelessness in the pit of my stomach. Like what good will talking about this ringing do if it's not going to go away. I just want a cure Even a treatment would be enough. I'd be willing to take a pill every day just to lower the volume. I think my parents just don't want to admit there's no hope. They care so they're trying to find psychological help. But things just seem to be getting worse Just wish all this could go away.

 

Sorry. I was hoping it would in time. I would think something would help? I had a visiting nurse come to my home the other day courtesy of Medica (my insurance company) Maybe something like that could be arranged for you or by telephone call at minimum.

 

A little update: I'm planning on going back home to America in a month. By January, I hope. I just called my dad and he said he could get off work then to take me back (I've never been on a plane alone before and I'm too scared to go on my own even at this age.) Or my mom will take me back. I don't think I can stay here. It's too loud. I'm going back to my quiet suburban town. I'm going to miss my family here. I talk to my family members a lot more here. I only see my dad's side of the family like once every two years. Here, I have my grandma, and my aunt, and cousins etc. I can't live without my grandma. But I don't think I have a choice. I'm just too stressed from the constant spikes here. I can't even leave the house. The city traffic, the construction work, the buses. Especially the truck with the air horn that caused this recent spike. It's only a matter of time when I'm outside when the same type of truck passes by again. I live in a suburban town at home and I use my mom and dad's car there to go to the grocery store. But that's the thing. The only thing I do there is go grocery shopping basically. It's very boring. But boring is worse than loud tinnitus. My tinnitus has never been this loud and I can't risk it progressing any further. I'm just gonna miss my grandma. I haven't been able to sleep or eat, crying all night for several days from this spike and I even went to another ENT this morning because my parents insisted. Things have been really hard, but I have no choice but to just get through this day I think. I'm trying to stay calm and not get overwhelmed with the anxiety. I'm trying to convince myself that this spike will go down if I stay in the house for a couple weeks.

 

I hope you are having a better day. I want to travel to Costa Rica. I haven’t flown since fluid in left ear in 2008 Puerto Rico flight. I want to see the monkeys in the trees and the nice scenery. Seen in local craigslist rental.

Hopefully gabapentin/klonopin will calm down your noise.

https://minneapolis.craigslist.org/hnp/vac/d/costa-rica-family-adventure/6743328594.html

 

@butterfly, I hope your noise calms down. I seem to be doing better after talking to a case manager today and getting a plan together. I also took some pills. You are so smart and write so well. I hope your future is bright and full of happiness.

 

@butterfly75 above