Wedding — Scared It Sets Me Back or Worsens My Tinnitus

Hello all!

I want to ask for some help and guidance here I have been invited to a wedding next weekend from very good friends from my parents.

I am really scared wedding sets me back or worsens my T.

Any people who has attended to weddings ? What has been your experience? I am thinking on attending the mass, maybe the dinner but leaving the wedding before finishing the dessert.

The social pressure of my family to go the wedding is big, and I know not attending will cause big trouble at home, but anyway my health goes first , so what would you do ?

Thanks all !!!

 

Amv, only you can answer that but I will tell you that I wouldn't allow T to hold me back from doing anything I wanted to do. I would go prepared with earplugs at my disposal and if things got bad, explain why you couldn't stay. At least you made the attempt, kept peace with the family and say that you tried.

 

Do what makes YOU comfortable. It's not your family's ears that ring, it's YOURS. I take tinnitus very seriously and I will speak out against those that mock it and let them know, just how horrible it is to live with it. Go to the wedding only if YOU want to go, don't let your family force you on stuff like this. I had to stand up against my father who used to mock me about my tinnitus. If you want to go, then take ear plugs and protect your ears, feel comfortable...if you don't feel comfortable at the wedding leave.

I wear ear plugs in my martial arts class, I careless who watches me put them in or what they say. My ears are important to me and no one can say anything about it. When I hold up the boxing mits, my hands shake. My partner kinda made a joke and said, why does your hands shake. I said Sh** happens, life happens and i smiled and we began our boxing drills. Never be shy to answer your critics, when it comes to protecting your ears and health

Tinnitus might be a permanent thing for you. The last thing you want to do, is to create a bad spike or even worst a new baseline of hell. Sometimes you have to stand up against people (even family ) and do what is right for you. I say this because, I know first hand how it feels and my family use to come at me and I stood up to all of them, in regards to just how destructive my tinnitus was.

Take care of yourself and try to not get fully stressed out over this

 

Your condition is nothing to be ashamed of so if you haven't explained your concerns, do that. Also, you can always wear earplugs (get custom made ones) and stay until the dancing begins.

Like you and others say. It's not their ears on the line, it's yours.

 

You got T at a shooting range without ear protection - I say skip this now

Find some of excuses like being unwell etc .. don't even bother explaining T

 

Here is one person:

He didn't wear earplugs, but earplugs can provide a false sense of security (please take a look at the link and quotes in the post below): https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/air-raid-sirens-for-religious-purposes-in-nyc.24448/#post-294691

 

I had my own wedding to attend whilst I had raging T. I used my ACS custom pro earplugs and had a great time. If you’re not up for it then don’t feel pressured into going, but at the same time I don’t think weddings pose a great threat with the proper use of earplugs. If there’s a wedding band just stay away from the speakers and relax (take breaks if necessary), but if the experience is only going to make you feel miserable then reevaluate whether it’s worth going just yet. If the music is stupidly loud then leave. I think it’s important to get your mind straight first otherwise you’ll spend the whole day monitoring your T everytime you think something is too loud. The perception of your T will likely spike regardless under these circumstances.

Take a breather and ask yourself if you really want to go or not.

 

Well, advise here says to follow what you WANT.
Now this sounds like decent advise, but your axiety will most likely be the boss of you.
I've been and still am there as well.
Before you know it you'll have excuses for everything, for every social gathering, for every job.

I am not saying you should go, but try to look beyond your fear. Take small steps, take earplugs with you, don't care what others think. And if felt you had enough, you leave. Simple.
But don't let fear drive this, if you are protected and it's not some musicfestival-wedding, there is little to worry about in my little experience. (I am talking about the dinner part.)
Give your ears regular breaks, go outside, etc.

And even the music part is probably fine with some protection, but I would understand if are not yet up for that.

But try to forget your ears during the party, not saying you should be careless, but try to relax..

And if you really don't want to go, just don't. But be honest with yourself about your choice.

 

Very true. I’ve been there loads of times where the anxiety of the occasion pretty much sucked all the enjoyment out of it. If you are in this stage then it may be best to give yourself more time.

You can always go to the wedding and have the meal. All you have to do is excuse yourself if any loud music makes you uncomfortable. That way you get to see the marriage and can avoid the loud part altogether.

 

I agree -> If you Don't want T, act accordingly.

 

Bill, this doesn’t mean she can’t go to the ceremony and the meal if she really wants to. There’s absolutely no reason why not. There is no need for social isolation.

 

Does the setup below (loud bar + plugs, not a music festival) sounds like what you are describing above?

 

Bill, a bar with earplugs is fine unless they are blasting music at ridiculous levels. There’s still no reason why she can’t go and see her family and friends, socialise, and take her mind off things if she wants to. Watching the ceremony of a wedding and having a meal are completely fine.

 

Did you read about @eatmoretacos 's experience that I quoted above?

 

Bill, you are just fear mongering her which is totally uncalled for.

 

So you have no comment about @eatmoretacos. How about @Rust 's experience?

I can keep going. There's more where That came from. How many experiences would you like me to post?

Are you advocating "ignoring reality, and substituting your own" reality?

 

What's good for one person isn't necessarily good for another. We all have to find which levels are tolerable and managable. And, we should do that carefully and conservatively, that is settle for levels under what we actually think.

I mean, since one bad judgement can be enough.

No idea to completely stop avoiding everything. Just be smart.

 

Bill, if a wedding ceremony is considered dangerous then we’re all doomed mate. You’re still dishing out phonophobia by the bucketload.

 

I will be going a wedding in May as my son will be getting married.
I will have my hearing aids in and at night my noise reduction plugs in at night.
My tinnitus is not due to loud noise but always protect my ears around extra loud sound.
It has to be your choice if you go and im sure their will be quiet areas at the venue.
Love glynis

 

Not an argument.

Not an argument.

Not an argument.

 

Bill serious question. Do you ever leave your house? You said you were a university lecturer?

How is lecturing any quieter than a wedding ceremony? How do you even get to work? That’s also putting you at risk, in your view, as you’re exposing yourself to potentially louder scenarios than your average wedding ceremony. Your arguments are absurd. You simply cannot live if one follows your rules unless one plans on social isolation and becoming a recluse. It’s unhealthy behaviour.

The risk the OP faces is potentially loud music being played at the reception, which can be avoided altogether if need be.

 

One thing you can do is to find out where the venue is and give them a call and tell them your concern.
Most cater for the dico area,
And area for us older people whom like to chat and chill in a quiet space as needed...
Love glynis x

 

Well done Glynis for providing solutions. You are a true gem on TT and show others that life can continue.

 

@Ed209,
Aww thank you,you also give great advice and so glad your on here...
To much negativity can make you low... we can still enjoy life even with adapted situations...
Love glynis x

 

I don't talk That loudly. When students talk to each other, I ask them to stop and to either start exchanging text messages, or to go old school and pass a piece of paper back and forth with their handwritten messages.

I wear earplugs to get to my class. I take them out when I begin teaching.

I leave my house when I travel and when I explore the Great Outdoors.

The last time I visited a movie theater was back in 1988, and the last time I visited a restaurant must have been sometime before 2004. I don't trust people who work at a restaurant with my food, and communal watching of movies does not appeal to me.

 

Exactly, so what are you expecting a wedding to be like?

By your own advice you should quit your job because it’s obviously putting your ears at risk. No need for citations you can use your own.

 

I had never been to a wedding, but it is my understanding that there is music.

 

At the reception there is which is after the meal in the evening. The rest of the day is no different to any other average day.

 

All of my examples involved people being exposed to loud music. Of course if the original poster can avoid being around loud music then she ought to be ok provided she wears earplugs and asks the other guests to not yell or clap their hands too loudly, especially if they are sitting close to her.