_Shoto_

_Shoto_

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  • _Shoto_
    What a beautiful day. Warm, not windy. But all beaches in my city are open for cars and every single one is blasting music with barking dogs
    _Shoto_
    I decided to move my bed into my walk-in closet. I just have no choice. Peace was taken from me and I want it back. Discomfort over loudness
    _Shoto_
    It didn't work. I could hear my neighbors typing on their keyboard and breathing. I have no idea why they make walls from paper in the USA. I have been to many countries in Europe and I have never experienced anything like this. I didn't even know it was possible to make walls off paper/cardboard. Anyway, I'm just going to sleep on my back in earmuffs for gun shooting. Discomfort over pain
    _Shoto_
    Daily motorcycle at 7 am...98 decibels this time. Yesterday it was 109. I hate this apartment. I hate the road in front of it. Oh my god
    _Shoto_
    Guys remember. DON'T rent apartments near/facing the main road/highway. Motorcycles are legal and they are 109 decibels according to DBmeter
    _Shoto_
    I still can't believe I'll have to live in this apartment for another year. Not only are there loud barking dogs in every single apartment, but there is also a motorcycle that passes by every single morning at 4:55 am. And HVAC units of the 2nd floor are right below my bedroom windows, which means it's always 70-75 db inside the room. This is so much hell for my ears. I want to live in forest somewhere in Vermont
    _Shoto_
    My laptop charger just died. Well...minus one coping mechanism that saved my life not once not twice not 7000 times...
    SumGuy
    Tell me about it, I built a pc right before my T appeared and the gpu has coil whine that makes my T flare up smh
    _Shoto_
    @SumGuy I ordered 2 new pairs of headphones 2 days before my T onset and they arrived the day after this tragedy :') I was soooo pissed. I still tested them out but on very low volume lol
    _Shoto_
    I don't have T and H in my dreams. There's no worse feeling than waking up in permanently disabled body that torturing you every second...
    _Shoto_
    4 mg of clonazepam and I feel no change in tinnitus loudness/perception. I won't go higher. I had so much hope in benzos when I got them...
    RunningMan
    4 mg is a huge dose. It's 16 times as potent as the benzo dose I take. It should help with anxiety when you first start using it, but it will build tolerance and become less effective when you take large doses frequently. And worse effects if you try to wean off.
    SumGuy
    we are close in age, such a shame we are cursed by this. Lets hope for the best
    _Shoto_
    Why do so many US cars honk when u lock them? Why are motorcycles that are louder than 100 decibels are legal? Why do I live near highway :(
    _Shoto_
    Woke up in the middle of the night due to T. It's getting worse week by week but mentally I'm more prepared than 4 months ago
    View previous comments…
    Pinhead
    @_Shoto_ for what it's worth, I think everyone or nearly everyone has visual snow in darkness. I think that's fairly natural from what I've read. That being said, Trobalt isn't very safe.
    Gateway
    Where can you even get trobalt now?
    _Shoto_
    @Gateway in pharmacies in Spain and Mexico. Online as well. Probably labeled as a research chemical and shipped from China or something
    _Shoto_
    I think my loudness hyperacusis comes back if I'm not exposing my ears enough during the day...I fear I'll have to do this permanently now:(
    _Shoto_
    Yesterday was my 4th month anniversary of this new reality. Yeah. Looks like habituation with my severity is going to take more time...
    Utdmad89
    Tbf in the grand T/H world that isn't very long atall. I didn't see improvement in my T till atleast 8 months in and it was a very very small improvement.
    _Shoto_
    Average people praying to gods. I'm praying to Auricle, XEN110, and BHV-7000. We are not the same :')
    _Shoto_
    Hyperacusis went away after 2 weeks of zero hours of noise cancelling headphones use. Looks like overprotection was an issue? Hmm. Okay...
    Utdmad89
    Don't say that too loudly lol apparently there is no such thing as overprotection!
    Tryn2BHopeful
    You might of had sound sensitivity from over protecting your ears.
    _Shoto_
    My T got 50% louder in my right ear and I'm not sure why. And it's kinda fluctuates this past day. Maybe I do have somatic T? It's weird...
    Utdmad89
    Can you modulate your T with neck or head movements?
    _Shoto_
    @Utdmad89 no but 3 months ago I accidentally did something and my T got louder for 10 seconds. Yesterday was the second time this happened. However, I can't do this whatever I want. I try to open my mouth, yawn, touch neck and face but nothing happens. So weird
    Utdmad89
    That does sound weird. I don't think yours is somatic. But tbf Doc Shore said mot was somatic even if you can't do it with movements.
    _Shoto_
    Oh wow. Only one month left before my 22nd birthday. April is def going to be a fun journey for me. Oh my gosh. I should prepare myself...
    lanterns&coffee
    Woah a user with similar interests hey hi
    Also is that link click in your pfp? I Never rlly got around to getting into that!!
    View previous comments…
    lanterns&coffee
    @_Shoto_ i should definitely get into it then, I've heard it was good!!! I haven't been watching much lately, last thing I watched was probably either one piece or blue lock
    _Shoto_
    @lanterns&coffee ohh I loved blue lock! When you have time I also suggest to watch Noragami. Probably my favorite anime of all time. It's very unique too! So far all my friends liked it lmao
    lanterns&coffee
    @_Shoto_ I've heard of noragami but never really watched it, maybe I should :-)
    _Shoto_
    Went to the beach. Never again. 3 concerts in bars/cafes, cars all over the beach, no access fo people, seagulls, 50% of cars blasting music
    _Shoto_
    I would sell my kidney for a ONE pet-free apartment in my city. Saturday 7am. LET ME SLEEP OH why would u let ur dog on a balcony at 6am?
    _Shoto_
    Can't open a bag of chips without triggering H and TTS. Incredible life I've got at 21 year of my life
    _Shoto_
    I decided to find an audiologist who will agree to test my hearing up to 20 khz. I can sense that it's going to be hard in my town lol
    Tryn2BHopeful
    I had that test done. While informative it did little for the outcome at the end of the day. I have hearing loss starting at 9k - 14k then back up at 18k which makes no sense... age will play a part in extended frequencies as well.
    _Shoto_
    Never mind. No once in my city can do this test. Well...I expected this outcome :D
    _Shoto_
    Consuming 3 different types of information right now so I can't think about my T and H :D Anime, news, background music, and drawing!
    Kiyomi
    What anime do you watch, what are your favs?
    I really enjoyed darker than black, talentless nana and angels of death, to name a few more unknown ones.
    I also started the one piece life action series and I love the nostalgic feeling.
    _Shoto_
    @Kiyomi To be fair I've watched so many I can't even remember 50% of the names. Currently, I'm watching Synduality: Noir. I've never heard of this anime but I really like it. I've always wanted to have a list of all the anime I've watched but it's too late to start now. The most nostalgic ones are definitely Bleach, Death Note, Attack on Titan, and Naruto. The Disastrous Life of Saiki is probably the funnies one :D
    _Shoto_
    Waking up with a headache and T+H spike is not cool experience. Susan, respectfully, please, hurry up
    _Shoto_
    Headache, tooth pain, ear pain, louder ringing, this day is definitely a day... Hope y'all doing much better lol
    _Shoto_
    I want to live in a desert with no neighbors around. I was always against this idea but I'm done with loud music and dog barks at 1am/6am
    _Shoto_
    It's funny that my family indeed considers buying a cheap rancho in a desert that is just outside the city. I was always against this idea because everything is in an hour of driving but now... I am a new person lol. This idea is okay to be honest. I always wanted to live in a city center, now I want to live in a rancho with huge backyard with trees and enjoy birds singing. No bikers, no ambulances, no neighbors
    _Shoto_
    Going to restaurant today. Will be wearing earplugs all the time, I hope I would be able to enjoy this day to the fullest!
    _Shoto_
    It was a good day and everything went well! I took out my earplugs for a second and oh gosh the restaurant is soo loud. Hyperacusis aside, the music, the people, the dogs, the dishes, the AC... No. I think I'll be wearing my silicone earplugs in restaurants even if we would have cure for hearing loss, tinnitus, and and hyperacusis. It's just a common sense lol
    _Shoto_
    My left ear got a new tinnitus tone. It's so different compared to my left ear. The left one is around 17khz and the right one is 3-4khz...
    _Shoto_
    I like sleeping. I had a realistic dream with no tinnitus. I was alive. It felt so good. And then...I was back in reality lmao. I love night
    _Shoto_
    I'm getting fleeting tinnitus like 3-5 times a week. I've never had it before getting my regular T. What in the world is going on in my ears
    Kiyomi
    Fleeting tinnitus is a scary thing.
    _Shoto_
    Today I got 4 fleeting tinnitus(es). It's really weird. And all the time sounds are totally different. And different ears too. Today is only the right one, for example. What in the world...
    _Shoto_
    Also, during fleeting tinnitus episodes I have to regular tinnitus! So technically I hear silence for 1-2 seconds after fleeting tinnitus. The only good thing about them :/
    _Shoto_
    My only wish is to not hear my T during the day. Don't care about the night. I want to hear fridge buzzing and birds singing. That's it.
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