“Tinnitus Truths”

Blaming mental health once again.

Ear Doctor Shares 5 Facts about Tinnitus

 

Those of us who have suffered isolation, neglect, or abuse, do not find that self compassion comes easily, or is even the norm.

There is a crucial need to unpick an unwarranted poor self image, and replace it with a benign self appreciation.

Our birthright was tarnished.

We may even feel that our medical condition (tinnitus etc...) is somehow what we deserve.

A punishment. What a cruel inheritance.

We are good people, kind people, lovely people, and we may need to remind ourselves of this on a daily basis.

I recommend - the first thing in the morning.

 

Out of interest:

I still do daily meditation,
attend my philosophy school,
read and listen to great teachers,
Eckhart Tolle, Thich Nhat Hanh etc
and do my best to practice equanimity.
I don’t always get it right, but I’m heading
in the right direction.

 

Hi to all my Tinnitus Talk friends.

On Thursday morning I was getting ready to meet a friend for coffee, when I fell - thanks to Parkinson’s Disease.

My daughter Jackie took me down to East Surrey Hospital. While waiting to be triaged in A & E, I fainted.

A doctor noticed me fall - which was due to extreme pain. My heart had stopped, as had my breathing. He gave me chest compression and got me back.

X-rays show that my ball joint is split and that the humerus is also broken further down. I am on maximum morphine for maximum pain, but the downside is nausea.

I can have no surgery after heart failure, until the heart shows stability. I will be seeing the head obstetric surgeon in the morning who will hopefully give me a treatment plan. Pain and nausea are a nasty combination.

Sorry to report on my drama folks, but I didn’t want to just disappear from contact with so many lovely friends on here without an explanation.

Love to everybody on Tinnitus Talk - and thank you all for your support over a good few years now.

This is a very special website. Thank goodness for Tinnitus Talk.

Dave xx
Jazzer

 

Wow, that’s crazy! Glad you’re still here with us. I can’t imagine what you are going through. I wish you a speedy recovery!

 

You're in my thoughts, Dave. You're a special bloke x

 

Take it easy, Dave.

 

I hope you get better soon. I've read a lot of your posts and they are very encouraging. Hope nothing but the best.

 

Get well soon!!!

 

Dear Dave,

I don't frequent this thread very often but due to my own current circumstances I was looking for a bit of inspiration, which I found here in your posts. In one of your recent posts you mentioned that self-compassion for some doesn't come easily, and I am also one of these people. To me that was an important hint to me that there is still a big unfinished "construction site" within me that I need to adress, that is listening more to myself and being self-compassionate.

Today I visited this thread again and learned of your new difficult situation. I don't claim to know anything about the way you feel right now, but I would like to wish you - even with all the pain and challenges you face at the moment - that patience and maybe even some openness/acceptance are able to ease your suffering.

 

Thank you Sevv.

‘Acceptance’ is virtually the only option of course. We all get what we get.

‘Openness’ - well why would anybody close themselves off to experience. But that does not mean that we are bound to accept the experiences of others as suitable for ourselves.

Commitment to the religious concepts of others is not the answer to finding the truth of our own spiritual path is it. We are all on a journey.

 

My thoughts are with you, @Jazzer, I wish you all the strength you need in order to pull through and come out on top of this painful situation. All the best and get well really, really soon!

 

How are you feeling Dave?

 

Hey Big D,

Sending you a virtual bear hug.

Take care friend!

Daniel

 

Hey Dave, thanks so much for letting us know what's going on with you. And thanks again for all your thoughtful commentary over the years. -- As you know, I'm into things of a spiritual bent, and (like you) look at life and religion much differently than most people. In that regard, I feel a certain kinship with you. I've shared some of the things I'm into in the past, and you always seem to appreciate it, knowing full well I'm not trying to force anything on you. Which leads me to... I was just watching (not yet finished) a video on YouTube with the title: He Recovered Past Life Memories By Singing HU - Rodney Jones

Rodney Jones is a professional jazz musician--just like somebody else I know! He's also a music teacher. As I watched this, I kept thinking to myself, Dave would probably really enjoy this. He talks about any number of things, including a past life in England, experiences with his music students, and how he encourages them to listen to music in a certain way. -- Anyway, I've only watched about 15 minutes of the video, which is over an hour long. He's such a likable guy, I think you'll be able to get a good sense of him in the first few minutes, and whether he has anything to say that is meaningful to you. The whole video is over an hour. At the 14:12 minute mark, he sort of gets into the nuts and bolts of things, and shares how he sings the HU.

Sounds like things are pretty challenging for you these days; I hope things are going "as well as they can" for you Be well. Share your love and kindness with the world (as you always seem to do). It's about the only thing that matters.

 

@Lane, @Jazzer:

I'd wanted to share the following podcast episode for a while but couldn't really figure out which thread to put the link into. Reading your last post Lane makes me think here is as good a place as any.

I really enjoyed this chat between Jim Willis and Mel Fabrigas. Willis has been an ordained minister for over fourty years. He's also (yep, like someone else we know) a musician. I didn't think I'd find their discussion interesting because I'm not really that bothered about religion. But the way Willis avoided the dogma, delving instead into spirituality and science really intrigued me. I reckon he'd be a great person to sit down and have a beer with.

 

Oh Lane - you truly touched me with your wonderful warmth.

I’m not sure if you know this:

I had a Parkinson’s fall and broke my shoulder ball-joint. I got to A&E and died - no heart beat, no breathing - only chest compression brought me back. I am now in hospital trying to build up some strength so that I can get home to my precious babies. (Pussycats.)

In November 2020 I lost Sylvie, the angel who was my wife, and living without her has been agony. But of course I am a realist and we all have to cope with whatever we get.

Academically I gave accepted it of course, emotionally a different matter.

I have had so much to deal with that I haven’t been coming on here.

Before leaving Tinnitus Talk I fell out with a good friend over a misunderstanding. I tried to make a reconciliation but it wasn’t to be. It may well be a reflection on me however - I am not faultless, though I always try to speak with kindness.

Thank you for your post. I should look into your video. Let’s talk again brother,
Dave xx
Jazzer

EDIT:

@Lane - I’m 40 minutes in and I’m still interested. I will complete the video, and I will give it a try. I have searched for god for a lifetime and so far found nothing. Born to a mentally sick mother who could not love me or bond with me, I have lived a lonely life. Not what I wanted but I was given no choice. I will give this a try. More out of curiosity than expectation.

Thank you for thinking of me brother,
Dave xx
Jazzer

 

Boy oh boy Dave, you've been through the wringer. Wishing you the best as you navigate this difficult terrain. Unfortunately, it appears you didn't have one of those amazing near death experiences (NDE) that so many people have. What's the point in almost dying if you can't have a great NDE?

Kudos to you Dave for trying your best to achieve some kind of reconciliation with your good friend. My own philosophy is that one of the most important things we can learn in life is to reach some kind of "accord" with those we don't get along with, or are having difficulty with.

Of course there are limits to what we can do. Doing our best doesn't necessarily mean we have to agree with them, or in some cases even like them. If there's no mutual accord to be reached, just learning to genuinely (inwardly as well as outwardly) let them be is about the best outcome we can reach (which is what it sounds like you've done). Hopefully they'll do the same for us.

Take good care!

 

Hey Dave @Jazzer,

Thought I'd do a little check-in. Regarding the video I posted a link to earlier, and which you said you had watched. I was curious what you thought about Rodney's comments regarding "love flowing from the heart of all creation", and how it can manifest in our lives in many ways, including "stillness". Reminded me of all the posts and comments you've made about stillness. He seems to be saying that "God's love" can come to us by way of experiencing a profound stillness. Any thoughts on that?

I also liked the way he described what it means to be an "Eckist". It's very similarly to how I feel (I consider myself an Eckist). In essence, Eckankar is here on this planet to serve. To offer spiritual services and techniques, such as how to sing the HU Song, and many others. And these are for all people, no matter what religion, and includes those who consider themselves to be an atheist. I liked the way he emphasized how all people are on their own unique (and sacred) spiritual journey, and atheism is as valid as any other. Was wondering if you had any thoughts on that as well.

I also really liked the way he emphasized that if you have a strong connection with spirit, you're going to have a fulfilling life (about a minute into the above link). I think this is the epitome of how an Eckist looks at life: Everybody is Soul with their own unique connection to Spirit. No Soul is above or beneath another Soul. Every Soul should be respected by others. Every Soul must have the freedom to choose their lives to live as they see fit, and should not be judged by any others for their chosen path.

As far as I know, Eckankar is the only spiritual organization that says it's OK to be gay, to have an abortion, to be trans, to be an atheist, to be literally anything we want (as long as we don't hurt or infringe on others). What is important is to respect others, and to live our lives with love to the best of our ability. And we owe it to ourselves to be our true selves.

Thanks Dave, for being your true authentic self on this forum. Your contributions have been a true gift to many here who are seeking friendship and solace from this difficult "condition" called tinnitus. You've shared a lot, and your love, kindness, thoughtfulness, and resilience is noticed (and appreciated) by many. Best to you as you navigate your continuing physical "issues".

 

Dear Lane,

You always give me a warm welcome - thank you.

I finished watching the piece. I found it intriguing - I love the guy. He is clearly committed - genuine.

I am trying to follow the simple directive, to sing the ‘Hu...’

I admit I lapsed and then came back to it.

As you know I am a sceptic about god. However, I have a real hunger for love. If anybody needs it - I promise you that I do.

His reference to performing and ‘becoming the conduit’ for music, as opposed to the instigator I have experienced many times. The phrases appeared without seemingly any thought on my part. Beautiful. Magical. Music came easily to me.

However, spiritually I am nowhere near him. But in my ‘hungry for love state,’ I will never stop trying.

I will leave hospital in a couple of days.

My multiple shoulder fractures have healed over with new bone growth.

Of course I still have Parkinson’s disease so need to walk carefully. Living without my sweetheart is so hard for me, but thank goodness she created a hypnotherapy recording about six years ago, so I fall asleep with her voice playing in my ears.

Talk again buddy. You haven’t forgotten me then - that’s nice,
Dave xx
Jazzer

 

I would advise anybody seeking the "truth", about tinnitus or other things, to avoid cults and "holy" people who are charlatans that deceive and rip people off, or worse. Learn how to think for yourself, and you will become an individual with substance.

That is my truth.

 

Out of interest Luman, do you consider all spiritual leaders, philosophers to be charlatans, e.g., Buddha, Eckhart Tolle, Thich Nhat Hanh, etc...?

 

I am not sure about Buddha, there's a lot of nonsense claiming that he performed miracles, which I do not believe in.

All so-called spiritual leaders are liars and fakes, including the people that you named, and I would add the Dalai Lama as well. They are no more "enlightened" than anybody else. What they are good at is deception, and promoting their theologies, like all successful priests throughout history have been.

 

Beautiful. Magical. Music came easily to me.

Hey Dave, I went back to the video, and 45 seconds into the above link, he makes reference to the "Music of the Spheres". Sounds very similar to your own experience. Which makes me think: It seems you've experienced profound stillness, which Rodney describes as an experience of God. And you've experienced beautiful, magical music, which Rodney also describes as an experience of God. What do you think?

What I take from your above words is something I've long believed: People can do without religion (or a belief in god), but they can't do without love. So I believe your desire and hunger for love is the most natural thing in all of creation. Which brings me to a story about HU and love.

I met a woman many years ago who told me a rather extraordinary story of how she discovered HU and Eckankar. She was strolling along a fairly low-traffic street one evening, when she all of a sudden felt enveloped by a wave of love. It was so profound, she looked around to see where it might be coming from. She saw nothing, but noted that the nearest building--which was closed at the time--had a sign that said Eckankar.

She decided to come back when it was open, to see if there might be any connection to her experience of feeling love as she passed by. Turns out that at the very time she was strolling by on that evening, there was a group of Eckists inside singing the HU Song. The amount of love that it brought into this dark little world is what she experienced. Not only did she decide to start singing HU, but she went on to becoming a member of Eckankar.

By joining Eckankar, she in a sense, became part of a religion.

As Rodney pointed out in his video, becoming a member means being able to take part in a spiritual study program, with many amazing benefits, all at a very nominal cost. But as I mentioned earlier, we can do without religion, which is for some people but not others.

However, anybody can sing HU and experience more love in their lives, which I think is far more important than whether or not one is in a religion (or believes in God). As the above story illustrates, not only can we experience more love, but we have the opportunity to share that love with the world in our own unique way(s).​

I'm guessing (and hope) you'll be out of the hospital by the time you read this. I hope you're making progress with this all, and you're once again enjoying the affection and love of your kitties. Hopefully they'll soon get over you being gone so long without their permission! Thinking of you with your kitties again brings a smile to my face.

 

Pain x Resistance = Suffering
Pleasure/Desire x Grasping = Suffering

Stay mindful not to resist what feels umcomfortable, and not to grasp what is comfortable. There will still be pain and pleasure, but less or no suffering. That is the middle path.

 

Ahhh but that middle path is only achieved when the mind is clear and all the feelings of guilt and mistrust is cleared from the thought path. If not the path becomes darkened.

 

Geez Dave, you didn't need to go to those lengths just to try and get a sponge bath from the nurses

No seriously Dave this was shocking news for me to read, I really hope you make a speedy recovery.

I did read your post about listening to Sylvie's voice to get you too sleep every night which I thought was really beautiful, I am glad something brings you comfort during your difficult times.

You're a special man Jazzer, kind and loving, open and honest, which I for one appreciate on this forum.

Now, get yourself well for your precious Pussycats, I am sure they would be missing you too.

Sending big hugs and much love your way,

 

Hi big D,

Haven't checked in for a bit and wanted to say hi.

Sending you love and a bear hug that doesn't hurt. Stay well my friend

Thank you for our friendship and the kindness you always give to this world.

Daniel
Xxx

 

Aww @Jazzer, I've not been on here much with work etc. I just read you have Parkinson's and took a nasty fall leaving you with shoulder breaks etc.

You are a lovely person Dave. The loss of your Sylvia is hard, I didn't lose my husband but have been divorced a while now.

I remember our lovely time in Birmingham and our lovely hug so sending that love to you now.

Lots of changes in my life and even faced my biggest phobia flying to Barbados for youngest son's wedding. I wore my vented earplugs and had no problem with my tinnitus or Meniere's.

I hope you're home now with your lovely fur babies and endless love they give us.

I took up a hobby and can play a ukulele really well now and sing and play it for the residents.

All my love to you.

Love,
Glynis xxx