8 Months Since My Tinnitus Got Worse. I'm No Longer the Person I Was.

8 months in since my house alarm exposure in October last year following 20 years of being habituated to tinnitus.

I'm sleeping better and not rushing to the garage in the middle of the night to buy cigars but every day is still difficult to get through.

Every day and night I still pray to God and my spirit guides to end my life, to take me home where I hope I can rest in silence.

I love my wife, I love my kids but I feel there will be no change in sight and I want this life to be over with. But I haven't got the heart to destroy them, so I suffer for them but they only have a quarter of the husband/father they once had.

It's not fair on them and it's not fair on me.

 

I am in a similar situation, Allan1967. I am sorry you are going through this. I hope Lenire and the hearing regeneration programs may help us in a not too distant future, and in any case I hope you can habituate again soon.

 

As do I. Don't get me wrong I try to stay above ground. We can also pray for a good treatment or cure. G-D bless.

 

Apparently you aren't supposed to ask because God has a plan for us all. So I'm trying Universal law instead and visualising my gravestone instead dated 1967 - 2019: May he find silence again.

 

It's disheartening when you hear it might be a few decades.

 

I can relate - I've had tinnitus for about 10 yrs now and was coping alright but things got a lot worse this year and I can't seem to snap out of this headspace. Before it was like 90% happiness and optimism 10% anxiety/depression about tinnitus but now it feels like the percentages have been flipped for all of this year. Feels like we're going to be battling against this for the rest of our lives doesn't it? Feel free to message me if you want to talk but don't want to bother people in your real life

 

Thank you @ToriaM34.

They say your hearing is the last thing to go as you die. To think this noise will be the last thing I ever hear as I snuff it is sad to say the least.

 

It is. Lenire should be much closer, though. Are the FX-322, REGAIN and Otonomy programs that far? I was hoping for a few years rather than a few decades, even if at the moment I live hour by hour.

 

I've no idea to be honest, but we're probably looking at a decade for that.

I'm hoping for a friendly alien invasion with technology to fix everything, starting with tinnitus.

 

Hopefully as they research medicines for other diseases a by product of that is treatment of tinnitus.

 

That is another option.

 

I don't know what it's like to have habituated to tinnitus for so long because mine has been bad since the beginning. I have severe tinnitus and I honestly don't know what it's like to have lower tinnitus for more than one day at a time. And as much as this has changed me I seem to get by as I have for the past eight years.
Tinnitus has never gotten better for me but I accept it because I honestly feel I have no choice.
And thank goodness for that.

 

I think we will know more towards the end of the year when the results from the initial FX-322 trial are released.

I suspect that if it is revealed that this first generation of regenerative medicine is successful in restoring hearing we will not be waiting decades.

I think of Lenire as an option to give us enough relief until something more permanent comes along!

 

Keep your head up :/

 

@Allan1967

I understand how you feel. I wish I could say something to make things better. For you and for all of us.

@ToriaM34

That statement makes so much sense. I've stopped bring t up with 'normal' people because it's just not their thing. I understand why but talking about it can certainly help sometimes.

 

I thought your spike was due to piano? Did that spike subside? Or did you have another accidental exposure? Anyway, hope you are doing well.

 

I thought it was a piano playing that caused your tinnitus?

Lenire is on the way so hang in there.

 

Not originally no, but it made it worse.

 

No, it pretty much looks like this is my new normal.

 

Well you can feel free to message me any time as well (in fact anyone who’s reading this can message me) personally I’m lucky enough to have very understanding people around me but they are so nice that I’m sure they wouldn’t tell me if I’m starting to annoy them, so I try not to bother them too much

 

Mine is so high pitched and loud. It isn't changing any more.

I also have ear pain and discomfort.

I don't think Lenire helps with that. I just want this suffering to end.

One day I will figure out a plan to end this.

 

I've given up thoughts of being able to perform Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata 3rd movement now that I have tinnitus.

But perhaps the first movement would still be OK? Idk. I put earplugs in, even for quiet pieces now. But I certainly don't play every day any more, and I've chucked the two bands i used to be part of.