After Getting Tinnitus, My Outlook on Life Has Changed — Does Anyone Else Feel Like "Withdrawing"?

Hi @momus -- I ran across short paragraph (below) in some spiritual literature many years ago, and I've thought about it often since I first read it. It probably won't set well with some who believe world peace is attainable, but it seems applicable to some of the things you mentioned.

It actually took me some time to come to terms with this concept (years), but as I look at the world, it seems world peace will never occur as long as there is no peace within the hearts of all humanity. This line of spiritual concepts also states that "everything is in its rightful place". Something to ponder I guess, for those who are inclined to do so. -- Take care...

 

I feel the exact same way. It's hard to remain optimistic when the outlook of this dumb disease (?) is not positive. I would gladly give up my career (that I worked tirelessly for 10 years) and relationships in exchange for no tinnitus. That is how much I am willing to give up. I'm pretty much chained to my house at this point lol. Just a shell at this point, functioning at the bare minimum.

 

Very sad to hear that brother.

 

Hi @crescentsky -- I hear ya. Isn't it interesting some of the "deals" we're willing to make with the "Universe" in exchange for no more tinnitus. One scenario that comes to mind for me is, I'd be willing to give up every single one of my possessions (including my clothes and money), be put buck naked in the middle of a busy intersection in sub-freezing temperatures, and let that be my starting point of a life with no more tinnitus.

I'm sure I would make it to a warm location pretty soon, and then have to deal with the hassle with the police for being nude in public, and wing it a bit more on a number of other things to deal with. But I wouldn't mind the hassles a bit, if I could do it without my tinnitus and hyperacusis. In fact, I feel pretty certain I'd be feeling happy as a lark.

Crazy some of the things we think up!

 

That's an interesting idea. Thanks for posting it @Lane. I'd also be happy to give up all my possessions (such as they are) to be rid of my tinnitus, but years of watching horror and Satanic movies makes me aware that with it gone, that might be inviting something far worse thru the doorway. That's sort of my philosophy about life. It could always be worse. Just be glad things aren't worse.

We're all here for a short time anyway. Victor Hugo wrote, "We are all under sentence of death, but with a sort of indefinite reprieve". I was thinking of that after returning from my first doctor visit since the COVID-19 lock down days, which have faded from my memory like a bad dream.

My doctor Veronica heard a heart murmur, which I knew was there. But she didn't know if it had gotten worse or was the same since I was first made aware of it 6 years ago. I go back for more tests soon and they did labs today to see if my kidneys were still at stage 3 and if my cholesterol was still high.

Something is going to kill all of us here one way or another, but it got me thinking about how fragile we are. It's different when unexpected health issues affect us personally. I have power over the depressing world situation though. All I have to do is don't read the news, and that fixes that. Out of sight, out of mind. I should never have gotten back into that bad habit. But right now my place is quiet, I have neighbors to socialize with, plenty of food here, a glass of Bourbon and water, the Allman Brothers are on the speakers. Things are just fine this moment. They could always be worse.

 

I agree. I believe things like money and possessions can be regained in some form or another. I have had other chronic health issues since the age of 10 but have never thought about these types of tradeoffs until this nightmare. Can't believe how this shit of a problem can turn our lives upside down.

 

Withdrawing is an understatement.

I feel like I fell into a black hole of despair, while the world is moving on. I lost interest in everything I cared for. Mostly, I still take my fun car out to drive, a fast convertible sports car I only bought last fall and hardly drove before the winter. But it is not the same.

I am no longer following news. At all. It bothers me too much. Before I was quite on top of things. I do not feel like watching movies or reading books.

I sleep, get up to some doctor appointments, trying to get some stuff in order (sell some things), eat, drive for a coffee, go for a walk, read and write on tinnitustalk.com, cry, lament. Rinse and repeat.

 

Yeah, I definitely don’t feel like doing as much as I used to. I hate how I now first think how loud some place might be.

I’m just not as motivated as I once was. I hope it’s a mental thing or a “bad season” I’m going through.

My tinnitus has been a fluctuating, changing beast for 11 months now since I got COVID-19 or had an operation. I don’t know if people ever have “spikes” for this long but I’m slowly resigning to the thought of having this forever.

Some things that help me are:

- Gaming with friends, really helps take my mind off things.

- Photography, just being invested in learning and getting better at the craft.

- Dale Snale high-frequency tinnitus masker on YouTube, those videos feel less abrasive then white/pink noise.

Anyway, I remain hopeful I’ll learn to cope better. I really find people like @billie48, @Dr. Nagler and @Jazzer to be huge inspirations to me in the sense that even with bad tinnitus, things can get better.

I’m also optimistic that a treatment will come through, I’ve always said I don’t want a cure, just a 50% reduction in volume and intensity.

 

I, like many others here, was completely torn away from life. My life was music, I was a musician too. After my first sudden hearing loss with hearing impairment, tinnitus, and a completely insane hyperacusis, I had to withdraw completely for 5 years. I was 28 and in the prime of my life. Suddenly, everything was different, and as we know, people can't understand it, just like I probably never could have either.

That period of time was an absolute catastrophe, but luckily I had a job where I didn't have to get up early and had enough freedom and quiet at work to try to rehabilitate myself with various sound samples. After a long time, things got better, and I found my way back to a more normal life.

Unfortunately, there were some setbacks that threw me back to square one, like right now. It definitely makes sense to avoid situations that can harm your ears whenever possible. I've also had a few moments where I thought, "Now it's time to move on with life as 'normal'." But that didn't happen! Life goes on, yes, but really differently. I've been managing for 20 years, and not everyone needs to know what I have.

Looking back, I have to say that despite these setbacks and problems, life has still been enjoyable, and I've become grateful and more humble in many ways. I know it doesn't heal anyone, but what can you do? Like you, I also hope for future treatments, and the fact that many people are working on it gives me hope.

 

One can do what you did, soldier on. Or lose all hope and give up (suicide). I guess something in between also is possible, but that's misery. That's where I am.

 

Getting tinnitus has changed my outlook in that I care more about contentment, being in the present, and removing unnecessary stresses or distractions from my life. I remember my pre-tinnitus days where I was stressed over even small things which now seem silly (and I believe stress played a role in getting tinnitus). I am less interested now about furthering my career as that could increase my stress levels, force me to work extra hours, or disturb my sleep. That said, I do care about the quality of my work and work is fortunately one of those things which distracts me from my tinnitus. I have now added extra criteria on what I am looking for in a spouse, so while it will be more challenging to find someone like that, I am giving full control to God on that front. I also got rid of most social media to reduce wasting of time, stress, etc.

I am a remote worker now and I'm glad for that. I think having tinnitus doesn't allow me to show the best version of myself all the time; for instance if I don't sleep well one night or if my tinnitus is worse I prefer to not interact with people. By being remote I can "hide" but still work at the same time. I did have a slump in my work performance for about a year but it returned back to normal. I still care about some personal goals and hobbies and want to pursue them more, however I am fine with taking my time.

My advice is, don't push yourself too hard and focus on what brings you joy.

 

I don't love life as much as I used to. The things I found important are not important for me anymore.