Anxiety, Loneliness

I am having a terrible anxiety today. And it is not because of my tinnitus but because of my life... I am so lonely. I have no friends, no boyfriend.. nothing... All alone...tinnitus is only making my situation worse... I got it because I was depressed and lonely....

 

I feel you, my best friend recently flew to europe to never being seing again, feeling more alone then ever, life can be really hard but some good can happen if you let the time to flow forward , just dont lose your grip, maybe you should try to socialise but I dont know your how are your probleme

 

Cool! Life without compromises.

Enjoy it - solitude is one of the most precious things that you can get to experience. It is almost as good as silence.

 

I appreciate solitude but I have too much of it...

I wish I could say that.... This is too much of solitude... I am really desperate

 

The way I see it, you can't have too much of a good thing.

What is it that you are afraid of, and what is it that you have been missing?

 

I am afraid of a lonely life.. And that I Will never belong to someone or to a community.I am an outcast... IT really sucks.. nobody asks for me. Nothing.. I ve been through terrible breakups both with some of my friends and a boyfriend... I was so depressed ... That is why I Got tinnitus... And now, I Just feel Like shit... This a really terrible period of my life... If IT could only go away...

 

@Apolonia ,
Try get intouch with your friends as they might be missing you.
Find out what activities are on around you to socialise and meet people.
Reach out to family also and church.
Love glynis

 

Friends are not missing me. I sometimes think they are glad they got rid of me. But I have to find new activities, that is for sure.... Tnx

 

Yes, it is really hard when you separate from people that were a big part of your life. As much as I am telling myself that being alone is not that terrible, I just can't get rid of that anxious feeling caused by the loneliness...

 

What can't you do now that you could do back when you had a ball and chain?

What is in it for you, to belong to "a community"?

Why do you want someone to ask for you?

 

Reach out to your friends, you never know they may well be missing you.
Maybe look for some new activities as you said, I’m all for having my own space but it’s good to have human interaction.
Go for a nice walk to clear your head and get some endorphins moving then have a look at some activities you could possibly do, book clubs, gym, hiking etc

 

I was doing kickboxing but after getting tinnitus and hyperacusis I quit BC I was depressed And I feared my tinnitus would get worse from exercice... I am really lonely, trust me. And this tinnitus thing makes me feel worse BC I know that now I have health issues as well....

 

You don't get it.. People hate me. I was mocked a lot before... I see young People Like me having fun outside and hanging out... And I am like an old woman hanging around.in my room. Nobody calls me... I had a friend who used me and my trust. I had a boyfriend who literary dumped me bc I was boring to him... I have no social life whatsoever...I am so young and I am full of regrets and sadness... My heart was broken so many Times... IT is hard to live when you are broken.. Being alone becomes difficult BC my brain starts remembering all the bad stuff and I get anxious... And I wanna take back time and do things differently... Maybe then I would not have tinnitus nor would I be this lonely and unwanted, stigmatized.... I am alone way too much... This is not the life I wanted... This depression health issues....
How old are you btw?

 

I’m sorry to hear that, have you tried going back to kickboxing to see if it does make it spike or not?
Excise will help with the anxiety and feeling depressed, that doesn’t mean you have to over exert yourself, this could be done with walking, swimming, hiking it all gets the endorphins moving in your body.
There will be people on here to talk to as well, find something that interests you and see if there’s a club near you you could join.

 

If those friends missed me, they would reach out to me... I really gave my everything to them... No one appreciated IT...

 

Tnx. Kickboxing is a very tough sport and I don't think I am ready for IT now... I am still in the process of recovery of my ears... I go outside and walk but this is Just not sufficient enough.. my thoughts don't give me peace.. i think I am losing my mind..

 

I get that, give it time and look for something you enjoy and see if there’s a club. Have you been to your doctors to discus how you’re feeling? Maybe they could help in regards to some medication for a while just to get you back on your feet so to speak.

 

No. I am afraid of medications... I Hear AD make tinnitus worse... I went to some psychologists before I Got tinnitus.. it helped me Just to talk to them... That's all... Talking is for me very helpful actually... I really need IT... I ll try and find another psychologist...

 

I know some medications aren’t that bad to T in the short term. Go back your doctors and tell him you need help, and yes talking is good and there will always be somebody on here willing to have a chat with you.

 

So if you are home alone (or traveling the world alone), nobody will mock you.

Fun usually carries a price tag. In any case, you can have fun by yourself (exactly the kind of fun you enjoy, no compromises), and this kind of fun will likely have a lower price.

To me, the above makes as much sense as someone saying "I don't hear any T noise whatsoever. Everything is so quiet when I am in a quiet room. I hate it, I yearn to experience T."

Early 40s. I Used to socialize, despite having negative experiences Every Single time, and clearly enjoying being alone. Eventually I was able to break free of the brainwashing that told me that I am supposed to socialize. Now I do what I want, and what I Want is to be free and stress-free. To me, freedom and sheer fun are maximized (and stress is minimized) when I can be alone.

 

Do you have your own family (wife,kids)? What do you do for work? I see you Here all the time

 

I am free: no parasites and no ball and chain. Other people have compared having children to having a disability (in the sense that in both cases one is prevented from doing the things that one wants to do), but it has Always been "parasites" to me.

I am a college instructor. I found this site to be a good procrastination aid, and yes, I ought to stop procrastinating. All of my 2017 had been taken up by T and as a result being here was the best use of my time. Right now I am busy at work, and so again my life is on pause, and I am here.

 

For me stress is minimized when I am with People...i Just hate Being on my own... I can't even stay in one apartment... I change them all the time BC I can't stand the emptiness of the apartment.... :/ I wish I could Just say that Being alone for me is fine... But IT is not... When I am alone I lose sense of time.. i don't take care of myself bc I have no one to show myself to all dressed up and Clean... I Just let myself go when I am alone... And IT is awful... I become terribly anxious... I Just can't move

 

Where are you from? America?

 

It sounds like you are an extrovert. It sucks when instead of happy being one's default state one has to do something before one could be happy. It must be a bad thing to be unable to enjoy one's own company.

Can't you do something (study, work, entertain yourself) to enjoy yourself AND eliminate the stress that you get when you have to be by yourself?

As long as this is what you truly want (and not you mindlessly following what the society told you to want), I guess it is fine.

I live in Canada.

 

I thought you were someone from Croatia that I know, but nevermind... I have two thesis to write... I need to graduate... :/ IT is really hard for me to focus... Actually writing for me is awful bc IT includes thinkong and when I start thinking ...that is not good...

 

You might want to come to North America. It is my understanding that women are in shorter supply here, compared to how it is in Europe. As a result, the number of boyfriends you can enjoy being with here is limited only by your time constraint.

 

I was an introvert during my highschool years... And then I went to a university... Became a student and I wanted more freedom And friends, going out, Just life in general ... i have so much energy and I just can't find a way to spend it...Highschools in Croatia are terrible... I studied a lot... University offers more freedom..

 

How loud is Croatia? If a tourist walks around in your towns and cities, does he or she need to worry about sudden loud noises (jackhammers from construction, sirens, live music, etc.)?!

 

LOL

It sounds like you got a good education at your high school.