Habituate...

I am posting this today here in "Success Stories" because I, for a long time, thought that habituation with my T was ridiculous and impossible!! As I sought treatment for my severe T, I was repeatedly told by doctors, therapists, and other people with T, that I will have to habituate (learn to live with my T). It was maddening!! I felt like no one was actually listening to me. There was NO WAY I could ever learn to live with what was (and still is) blaring in my head/ears!! The volume and pitch so incredibly high!! I couldn't sleep, became depressed and hopeless, began taking all sorts of meds, my life had been ruined! How could I possibly learn to live like this. NO WAY!

Well, to all of those people that told me I would habituate, you are all entitled to an "I told you so"!! I have learned to live with it! My T is just as bad, it's never changed or modulated since it set in Oct 1 2012. Same crazy high volume/pitch, but my life is so much better now!! (Still would really like a cure!!).

Due to taking charge of my life and deciding deep down to not let my T rule my life, my quality of life is drastically better! I post this because I know there are many of you reading this who are thinking exactly way I did! You think there is no way to live with T and you are filled with hopelessness.

YOU CAN AND WILL LEARN TO LIVE WITH T !! But it does take effort. It takes a complete change of attitude. It will take making changes in your life, and most likely trying a ton of different therapies and things to help you deal with it. It will take support from family, friends, others with T. It's going to take a strong will! But it can be done! I am proof!!

Don't get me wrong, I still have my moments here and there, and my life is not what it was before T, but I am a long, long, way from the pit of despair I was in for quite some time!!

If you are in that pit. If you think there is no way out and you'll never learn to live with our T, please take heart!! I am now one of those people who is telling you that you will habituate, you will learn to live with it!!

 

Love posts like this!!

 

Thank you for this very reassuring post!
And I am really amazed by the fact that your T started in Oct 2012, and today you are able to tell us that you habituated. Mostly I see infos suggesting, that this long road can take 2, 3 or more years. Congrats!
I would still like to ask you a question, if you don't mind.
Was the habituation a gradual process, or was it a kind of epiphany, like you wake up one morning and know that here it is?

 

Hey Garden Ring, Thanks for the post! My habituation, which is ongoing, was a little of both. It was gradual in the sense that it took a year (which felt like 3 years!), but along the way I had a number of small epiphanies. Culminating really with one big epiphany a month or so ago, where, based on the smaller ones and the time past, I did essentially wake up one morning (or it may have been in the middle of the night!!) and just decided to stop my pity party (which was valid for a time!) and move on with my life, despite my T. I am 44 with a wife and three boys and I want to live and enjoy my life!! I actually got a bit pissed off at my T, and being somewhat (actually very!) competitive, I set out to win!! So far so good!! I pray the same for you!! It can and will happen, but it's not as easy as some will tell you. For me, it didn't "just happen". It took will and effort. But it did and is happening! Stay strong, fight hard, and win my friend!!

 

Great story Jeff. Really pleased for u. I'm 40 with 4 kids. Had T habituated till it got too loud - like 60 decibels loud, then after a major virus/anxiety/sleep issues I have now learned to habituate again. Masking devices have brought the volume down to what it was years ago. It's all very exciting!

 

question for you Steelbanks:

how do you measure the volume of your t?

which masking devices are you using?

thanks again for writing

 

That is a truly awesome uplifting success story. Thank you for sharing it, Jeff. Your story gives newer sufferers hope that even loud and very high pitch tinnitus is livable. I had lived through similar experience and my T is ultra high pitch too. I too never thought that I could habituate to such loud ringing of extremely high pitch, and because of that catastrophic thinking, I suffered tremendously emotionally and mentally. Meds were my best pals during those dark days. But never say never. You and many of us are examples that we can survive this tinnitus beast, and you are so right on by saying that you needed to take charge of your life by not letting T control/rule our life. It was something I had to tell myself too. It is so important make such conscious decision to win our life back. Once again, awesome post and a great success story.

 

Steelbanks, Thanks for the post!! Really glad you are back to dealing well with your T!! Very exciting! Especially with your life with kiddos!! Believe me, I know!! Stoked the masking devices work for you! Stay positive my friend and enjoy those kids!!! Peace to you!!

 

Jeff was there a change in volume (decrease) that helped you to habituate?
Were you on any medications?

 

Hey Billie, thanks for the reply post!! Yeah those dark days were gnarly! Like nothing I've been through before, and I have been through some really rugged stuff! Nothing like that! BUT we did it!!! YEAH!! And others can and will as well! Your post is just as inspirational! An honest testimony that people can overcome the darkness and live in the light! But it does take will and effort. I appreciate you and am stoked you are doing well despite T!! Best!

 

Hey Denny,

Weirdly enough, no. My volume, even as I type right now is just as loud if not louder than at onset! I can't really explain how I got from there (the bad place) to here (the better place), except I just kinda decided to be done with it.! I am a competitive person and decided to win! I hated having T control my life, I want to control my life (as much as is possible). So, in short, I still have super high pitch high volume T, but F it!! I am moving on man. I got stuff to do, a family to love and provide for and want to have some fun! So I am! Wish I had a better formula to give you, but really it just came down to getting pissed off at my T, and taking back my life!

Meds: I have been on a BP med (which may have caused/contributed to my T) and I am still taking a nightly dose (1mg) of Klonopin to help me sleep. Seems to work pretty good. SLEEP is the key to winning over T!!!

Peace bro!

 

Great success story, Jeff M. Seems you hit the main points: made sure you could sleep, accepted you tinnitus but made a determined decision that it would not rule your life. Hard work but you did it! Your story will inspire others. Thanks for sharing it.

 

I really think the key to habituation is just getting on with your life, and not giving the T any attention, its is there and will NEVER go away, but that's O.K..... because we won't let it ruin our lives..... as soon as we develop that conclusion, habituation is half way there... its funny we speak of volume to something that's not even a noise, I think it is better to speak of it as a perception of noise, b/c volume can never change but our perception can.. .. just a random thought..

 

Good for you @Jeff M. , I think habituating and moving on with our lives is a decision we make. Once we decide that we will not let T run our lives we move on and the T does not seem so bothersome. I do think that people should be allowed to rant/cry/get upset about T, because in a sense we have lost the way we used to live - it's almost like grieving. But like losing a loved one, we have to move forward. Hopefully most people do. Glad to read your story

 

Hey Citigirl! Thanks for your comments!

And I totally agree that we all should occasionally be allowed, even encouraged, to rant/cry/get upset about out T!!! I still do!! That's one of the wonderful things about this forum!! Here on TT there is a community of people who listen to our crying, ranting, whatever, and can actually relate and support!! I am so thankful to so many people here on TT who have helped in my journey with T!!!

But hopefully, as we do habituate, those episodes of breaking down become fewer and more far between!

I hope you are doing well friend!!

 

Thanks for sharing, Jeff!
I realized recently that I have been giving T permission to reign. I was listening to some music the other day and actually enjoying it, which I've not been able to do. When my focus shifted from the music to the T, I basically told the T I was not going to give it that moment. Not the rest of my life, just that moment. Sometimes the little ephiphanies are the big ones!
Wishing you continued strength and joy in your life -

 

I think I'm finally habituating toward the T. It's always the worst when I'm trying to sleep, yet for the last couple of weeks I've been able to fall asleep even with the high pitch tone ringing in my ear. I guess I'm able to relax more because I finally realized that the sound isn't causing me any real pain. Strange how it always gets loudest when I lay down for sleep; I think it's because the T I've got is affected by how my head is positioned. The T is shrill when I first lay down, but when I wake up either next morning or during the night, it's gone.

 

Hi.. My T have similar behavior... When i wake up during night or morning, T is low.. Sometimes gone.. Do you have acoustic trauma or what is cause of your tinnitus?

 

Otosclerosis in both ears. My right ear is most afflicted because of a stapedectomy that failed after a few months and left me with the T.

 

Right on Alex!! Glad to hear man!

 

Reading this post teary-eyed.

 

Thank you for writing this. It is a heartwarming result, a most welcome read. Congratulations to you and your family.

I don't know if I'm using the right descriptive language, but I find my own tinnitus painful. Even elements which are lower in volume can be 'felt'. I don't know if I am over-sensitized to my sounds which flicker between around 7000-12000 khz.

Did you ever experience this sort of thing? I believe the constant discomfort has delayed my habituation. I am hoping some kind of psychological re-framing will let the sense of hurt recede.

People often refer to their sounds as high-pitch, shrill, nails-down-blackboards, etc. That's what I mean by pain. Waking in the early hours with this is pretty terrible.

I take great strength from this wonderful uplifting story of recovery. Your family must be very proud of your achievement. (I have pasted it to a word doc so i can keep reading it offline). Thank you.

 

Hey John2012!! Thanks for the kind comments about my post from earlier this year! I am really glad you found it, and are encouraged by it!

Just an update, I still have my T, high pitch and volume , BUT ... Life is Good! And I pray it will be for you too as well!!!

My T was never necessarily painful in a physical sense like you describe, but most certainly emotionally, psychologically, and life quality painful!!!

I hope you find some relief soon!! Stay connected here on TT and PM me if ever you need some encouragement. I know it's tough to imagine, but you can and will habituate and get your life back!!

All the best to you!!

Jeff

 

Maccebu, wishing you peace and relief!!

 

Hello guys, my name is ray and I got my t 2 months ago and im still struggling but im feeling better and the more I talk to people the more I find out that there is lots of people living with t so that mekes me feel that I am not alone and I really find comfort in this site, thanks for all the encouragment that u guys provide, wish all of u the best and I will try harder to habituate...

 

Raymundo! Glad you found us here on TT, and soon Tinnitus Network!! You are early in your journey with T, so stay strong and hang in!! the first five to six months is the worst! But you're going to get through it! Stay healthy stay connected make sure that you're getting your sleep, be sure that you get yourself stabilized. And habituation will start to happen!!!! Best to you bro!!!

 

Such an inspiring post! Thankyou for this

 

Thanks for the inspiring story. Still learning to accept that its a permenant change . its really hard cause I'm a full time music teacher and musician and I'm afraid I'm going to have to find a new career. But I think you're keeping it real!

 

Hello , I have t sine April 15 th /2014 , it is driving me crazy, cant sleep , what do you take for sleeping, please let me know, I would love to get a good night sleep. from Toronto Canada..thanks .much appreciate your response.

 

Hello Alex! I replied to you last Thursday to a PM you sent me regarding sleep. Check your inbox. If you didn't get, please let me know and I will resend to you as it was rather lengthy. Best to you!!

Jeff