Hello Everyone!

My name is Bobby and I have been suffering from T for just over 4 years now. I was 16 and had been playing drums in loud bands for the better part of 6 years. I was young and stupid, it had never occurred to me to do anything to protect my hearing and I am now suffering the consequences. I had taken up music production just before I got T and as it got worse, pretty much gave up the drums all together. Over these past four years my T has gone from manageable to incredibly debilitating. I cannot produce music without fear that it will make my T worse. My left ear seems to cause me the most pain although just the other day I was mixing a song and woke up the next day with increased ringing in my right ear. I have withdrawn socially for fear of being drawn into situations in which there is loud noise (music in cars, parties etc). I have really no friends left. The only people I currently associate myself with are those with whom I make music. This is becoming a problem because I cannot produce in front of my monitors without experiencing pain. Even at low volumes mixing increases my tinnitus. I am at a point in life where I feel like there is no hope left. Tinnitus has essentially stripped me of any sort of joy in life and I feel like the only relief would come with killing myself. I could learn to live with the pain if it did not keep getting worse. I am usually stricken with louder, higher T each month. As I said before my right ear has recently become unbearable to listen to. I am 21 now and can't fathom what this condition will be like for me 10 or even 5 years from now.

 

It looks like you have reactive T and H. I know the feeling. I know what it's like to quit cinema, concerts, party's, avoid all the crowded places, like football stadium, run away from sirens, child screaming, people talking too loud, noises in the street. I know all that, but I have hope one day this will end. I have 50 and almost 20 years with this load. You are young and with science advancing so fast who knows if in a near future we will be free from this burden. I have days I want to put a gun in my ear and explode it, but when I get a little better I think that was a craziness, so hold on, who knows if a cure is right around the corner. There was so much diseases without cure, who are now very easy to cure.

 

Bobby,

I feel your pain bro! I have been to dark places many times over the past year. In fact, I'm coming up on my year anniversary. (I don't think I'll be partying though.) It's tough living with this for sure.

However, James Brown is correct. You are young enough, to see a cure very soon. If you off yourself now, you will have no hope, for a brighter future. Science and medical research, is exploding with new ideas rapidly. And T is becoming a major and chronic issue now, afflicting so many young people and combat soldiers.

Someone is gonna crack the code on this! It's just to widespread not to have a cure soon.

For now, mask the best you can and create safe zones. keep busy and have faith.

You are in my prayers!

Sailboardman

 

Hi Bobby, like the excellent advice given by above posters, I feel you are too young and there are a lot of possibilities to help yourself. So hang in there and don't panic. Have you received any treatments or taken any meds to help the T (and possibly H too? Go read up the Treatment forum to see that there are up coming promising treatments being tested, such as Autifony, AM101, Trobalt, Keppra, etc. There are also TRT, CBT, mindfulness treatments. Don't lose heart. There are many things you can do to help your T. There are other members here who have experienced struggle like you are going through and people do get better over time. A few years back I have ultra high pitch dog whistle T plus severe hyperacusis, which also triggered relentless anxiety and panic attacks daily (as I had suffered from anxiety and panic disorders before T & H). There was so much suffering and total darkness and I thought I would never get out of the long dark tunnel. But with some help from meds and members' support, I am back living a normal, ,productive and enjoyable life. Never say never. Give it time. Seek out some treatments which will work for you. Don't lose heart because of your young age. There are many TT members here who are young, and some have recovered and write their success stories. Please read up the success stories to give yourself hope that you will be well just like others. Hang in there and give it time. See if the successful approaches of others can help you. If this may help, I list two young members who have written their success stories. Take care & God bless.

success story of 17 years old Zach:
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/fake-it-until-you-make-it.7590/

success story of Jari with T since 12 years old:
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/threads/new.7670/

and here is my story if you have time to read:
https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...w-i-recovered-from-tinnitus-hyperacusis.3148/

 

@bobbyb I'm 19yo and have T since 2010 with a very unconfortable H too. You're not alone

 

You're not stupid, there's lack of awareness of tinnitus. All we know is noise can cause hearing loss, not tinnitus. So don't blame yourself.