How to Be with Someone Having Tinnitus?

I don't think @Bill Bauer statement has anything to do with toxicity, it is in fact reality. Any man that enters into a relationship with a woman "today" without his eyes fully open is taking huge risks and has much to lose. That is the sobering truth.

Michael

 

Does it? =>

 

So why couldn't you keep dating ???

 

It’s posts like this that really make this forum such a welcoming place for women with new tinnitus.

 

It was my mistake. I'm a goof sometimes. Don't take me seriously. I don't want to offend anyone.

 

I admit that now I think that I had overreacted. In my defense, I have been moved by SugarMagnolia's comment below

 

She pretty much overreacted in assuming i wanted to eat her rabbit...like seriously--nobody implied that.

 

This type of nonsense is not happening to just you either, I got heat from Bill implying I'm promoting sexual harassment from a movie clip in hopes that people don't feel discouraged asking someone out because they feel like they are not worthy enough because of their tinnitus and that nobody will say 'yes'. Overreactions abound, all aboard! Toot! toot!

 

@Bill Bauer Yes my rabbits, that i raise specifically for that purpose, not as a pet. Nowhere did i talk about anyone else's animals

 

That doesn't mean she wants to sneak into her home and eat her pet.

 

I never thought that she did. But saying that you love a pet's meat after someone reveals that they have a weakness to keep a certain animal as a pet, is wrong on many levels. It is like someone posting an image of his beautiful bride from Germany, and another person replying "my grandfather shot and killed a huge number of Germans during WWII!"

 

I totally feel you, people are always gonna find a reason to complain. The funny thing was i was only joking, i just didn't care enough to clarify.

 

Context though. No images were posted, and no animals/Germans were actually killed (in this hypothetical example).

 

You got SugarMagnolia and me to create gruesome images in our minds.

My posts had nothing to do with your advice. They were about the current state of affairs where innocent stuff can end up having huge and unpleasant consequences.

 

@another sean I didn't say you were promoting sexual harassment. I said that someone following your advice (and not guilty of sexual harassment) is putting himself at risk of being accused and wrongfully convicted of sexual harassment...

 

Asking someone out on a date is not sexual harassment. Also, although sexual harassment in the workplace is technically against federal law in the U.S. under Title VII of the civil rights act, it is near impossible to prove and extremely rare for individuals to be "convicted" of such. Civil judgments are another story, but these cases typically involve lewd behavior and a continued pattern of harassment. Most workplaces without rules specifically prohibiting male/female fraternization typically follow the "one strike rule", meaning that after an individual turns another down for a date it's over, and any further attempts may constitute harassment under company rules (not in a legal sense).

 

I will reply to the above with my old response to Sean: tell all of that to your accuser, and see how that works out for you.

 

Can you provide an example of someone being "convicted" of simply asking a women out? Or are you just talking out of your rear end?

 

I didn't say you said it, I said you implied it. lol. I'm getting off this crazy train now. And when I say "im getting off", please don't take that out of context. I want to be very clear @Bill Bauer that I do not mean that in a sexual way as I literally just want to exit a locomotive train. Please do not take it as me wanting to dry someone or anything else of the dry humping nature.

oh great, now we're comparing eating rabbit meat to nazi's.@coffee_girl said it best, "context".

I have a friend who's eaten canine in other parts of the world. It doesn't mean I think he's going to eat my dog when he stops by to play xbox. Now if he showed up at my door with a knife and fork wearing a BBQ bib that says "Woof" on it, it might raise some red flags and thats when context comes in to play. play xbox = no eat dog. wearing doggy bib holding knife = maybe eat dog when not looking.

 

Of course no one has been Accused of asking a woman out. I used the word "convicted" to refer to serious consequences, that's all.

 

Once again, can you provide any examples of the "services consequences" that asking a woman out entails?

 

There are plenty of recent examples. I am not going to mention any of them, as it might appear that I am disapproving of what has happened, and neither you nor I live in a free country where it is ok to do so.

I don't like every person the newspaper is telling me not to like.

 

Everyone already knows your feelings regarding women, it's no secret. So why don't you go ahead and provide those examples? Otherwise, it's completely fallacious to argue this point when you can't provide a shred of evidence to the contrary.

 

I bet he's on Tinnitus Tinder a lot.

 

As a vegetarian and a rabbit lover, I'm not unfamiliar with people bragging about eating, not just animals in general, but rabbits in particular. It's hostility disguised as a joke. But it did prove my point that the company of rabbits is preferable to that of humans.

Correct. This is the hostility. There is no actual threat against pets because to kill one would be to commit a crime against the pet owner. Hardly worth going to prison over. The joke is intended to make someone who loves a cute and innocent creature think of that creature being killed and mutilated. In a different mood, I would have said nothing. But I was in a mood where I just didn't need any more veiled hostility in my life.

We all have our ways of coping with tinnitus and other troubles in our lives. Some of these coping methods are better than others. My love of bunnies is one of my better ways. We all have them: pets, music, movies, nature, etc. And we have our bad ways of coping, which are usually hostile. We rail about opposing political parties, religions, philosophies, lifestyles, and of course, the opposite sex.

Expressing hostility toward the things we disapprove of is more satisfying than the good coping methods, but the satisfaction is of very short duration. There's the instant rush of self-righteousness, but it wears off so quickly we have to do more and more of it and it ultimately makes us feel bad. I know this because I am as guilty of it as everyone else. It is not easy to comfort myself with nice things (my books, my bunnies, my blues) but they do not raise the level of hostility I feel inside me - and I have a lot of hostility inside me.

No hard feelings @coffee_girl

Now - let's move on to the matter of why the opposite sex is the cause of all the problems in the world.

 

Well said. I relate to this. It's very easy when you're suffering to adopt a negative attitude about the world and life in general.

That being said, objectively speaking, I do think relations between the sexes are at an all-time-low and men in particular feel at a loss on how to proceed. See the Gillette ad for an example of this, receiving messaging that it's our duty to shame/stop our friends from merely approaching women. I don't think it's my T that's making me feel this way. I think gender relations are absolutely broken.

 

What are my feelings about women, according to you?!

 

I apologize then if i made you upset, i forget that we suffer from T on top of other things and deserve a bit of empathy/understanding even if it is about a hypothetical example. I will tell you though that i did not intend any kind of hostility in that joke...it was just me being immature in my response. I have never had issues with you so the idea of any kind of veiled hostility is ridiculous, but as you posted....i can understand why it instantly made you feel that way.