How to Overcome the Fight or Flight Response and Stop Seeing Tinnitus as a Threat?

I'm only 3 months into my new life with tinnitus, and to say the least it has changed my life.
I'm still in the denial stage and can't accept what's happened fully, but I'm going to have to eventually to move forwards. I'm still battling against the tinnitus rather than accepting it, and it's probably making things worse.

So how do I get my brain to calm down and stop seeing tinnitus as a threat? I hear about relaxation and so on, but relaxing is something I find difficult to do, especially now.

 

The first three months are the hardest.

Have you experienced any improvement compared to how it was 2 months ago?

To answer your question - many people habituate after about 1.5-2 years. So you need to give it time.

 

Denial, anger, why me?...all of us run this range of emotion when confronted with a riddle we can't solve that changes our life.

Good question but this isn't the typical flight or flight response for the simple reason, we have no choice.

Flying on airplanes, not getting into an elevator, turning down a public speech etc, are all elective. Not what we have with tinnitus. We have no choice but to confront the tiger.

Philosophically it is kind of like the often misunderstood term courage. An example. A hiker missing for days is stuck in a crevice he can't escape. His arm is trapped. He has a choice. Cut his arm off with a knife every hiker carries, or starve to death. What would most choose? Cut the arm off. Courageous? Not really. Survival.

Same thing with tinnitus. We don't have a choice but to accept it.

You are in the denial stage. That is pretty much where all of us started. What the? What the hell is this noise in my head? Once you visit all the doctors who provide no solution and get beat down like we all do running through the range of emotion, we then have the only option left. Acceptance. It is only when we accept tinnitus as this lousy intrusive neighbor that we can't make go away, will it become more acceptable.

I would say almost all that have had tinnitus for 2 years have arrived at this point, sometimes kicking and screaming. But we make the hard journey because we choose the bitter sweet reality of life over the alternative.

You will get there. I believe that is the journey most of us make.

Please know. I am a technologist. Help will come. Meanwhile try to accept tinnitus and there are a myriad of coping strategies from distraction to meditation to medication.

Good luck to each of us.

 

Time + Support + Daily actions and slowly taking baby steps forward. All of them are instrumental in our tinnitus journey.

 

"I would say almost all that have had tinnitus for 2 years have arrived at this point"

For many of us it continues to get worse.

 

No, because I had an MRi scan which made it worse.

Not only that, but I have OCD which is making this 10 times worse (not to downplay other people's distress).

 

I know this sounds bad, but i almost wish I had toes and fingers missing rather than tinnitus. The constant mental torment and the knowing that it will probably never goes away are killing me. All made the worse that I have OCD.

I've hardly been outside for the last 2 months, but soon I have to take an international flight. Getting the numerous trains and the subway to the airport are going to be challenging (the people and the noise), the flight is going to eb challenging, as are the multiple trains and subway at the other end. The anxiety and outright fear are already mounting.

Help may come, but when? 10 years? 20 years? 30 years? Not in our lifetime? And will it be a one cure fits all or will there have to be multiple cures for the multiples types of onset of tinnitus? And will it be a physical cure for the ear or will it be to do with how the brain works? I think we are at least 20-30 years away fro m this.

 

Can't imagine having tinnitus for 31 years like you! How old were you when you got it?

 

This is my worse nightmare.

 

You are in a lot of distress 3 months in. Most with loud tinnitus at some point considered suicide. Some still do.
There is no one size fits all with tinnitus. But there is a general path. You mention OCD, many if not most have it on the forum. It is almost a precursor to getting acute tinnitus. I have it on some level...perfectionist, I like order and things a certain way. Based upon all the anecdotal accounts here, this type of brain chemistry seems common with loud tinnitus.

You are currently in the freak out mode. I told you why you will move out of it. I am sure there are exceptions for example if you have a life event that makes your tinnitus even worse. But most get beat down and accept it. That is the norm and not the exception.

Btw, you may have a job incompatible with tinnitus if it involves catching a lot of airplanes and trains. Many have quit their jobs because of tinnitus. They had to. Part of the journey.

You will likely do the time like the rest of us because you have no choice. Help is going to come. Many have already trialed the bi-modal device for example. The machine exists on two continents because it has helped many that used it. There are other techniques forthcoming that may completely eradicate tinnitus.

I would never sacrifice a limb in replacement of no tinnitus. EVER.

Picture this. Picture a loud noise in your head as a 'new normal'. A loud noise now is part of your being. If you accept that loud noise as another part of you like an ear or a finger, then you will move on with your life as countless others here do. If you don't or can't accept this noise has attached itself to you, you will struggle.

Most, initally can't accept it, and then they do.

You are welcome for my advice as a survivor.

 

I wouldn't say many. Perhaps you. You didn't specify why you believe this to be the case or what steps you have made in your life to avert your condition.

Most cries for help are like the OP...early in and wondering how they are going to live with it. Most farther along have developed coping strategies because the brain in highly adaptive and we want to live our lives. Perhaps with some compromise as many do with a disability but in general, most of the stuff we enjoy in life. I do for example but as with most, took us a while to get to this point.

 

Thanks for the replies.

What has made mine worse is an MRi scan that it seems I never really needed. Plus, although I am middle-aged I have two you kids for whom I feel I have ruined their lives. I usually live abroad with them and their mother, but I haven't seen them for almost two months (except daily by skype) as this has all got worse since i've been here and I don't really have to go back to the country they are.... but I have to for their sake!

Does it ever get to the point where I will say feel it is more than OK to be living with the affliction? Nighttime is a nightmare, especially as I am man who loves silence and relaxing, things that have gone out the window now.

 

You like the rest of us are going to figure it out. I gave you the prototypical roadmap. Can even involve some steps backward as part of the journey. Many like you, have had a MRI with a spike as a setback. You will pass through this stage as well.

Here is the problem. There is close linkage between mental health (calmness and objectivity or lack thereof) and tinnitus loudness. Calmer and more accepting aka 'fluid' you are in your thinking...you know the saying...water off a duck's back, the best your tinnitus will be. Mine is up and down like a roller coaster. I accept the ride. I never wanted to get on the ride in the first place, but goddamit, I can ride as good as the next guy or girl dealt something like this and you too will once you have done more time.

My opinion? You need to get back to your kids and get their hugs and love from the people you love and who love you. This will help cure your mind which will make tinnitus much easier to deal with.

I didn't mention the grieving process as part of the journey. Its real. I really grieved for the amazing health I always had as a health and exercise nut. I always guarded my health. This came anyway. All the other bad shit I warded off with my healthy lifestyle never came, but this did. So the grieving for no noise is real. I suppose I still grieve on some level but my new norm has kicked in both up the rollercoaster and enjoy the fleeting and few moments when my tinnitus lowers.

Biggest precursor to tinnitus, not only contracting it but living with it? Mental health. Most common theme on this forum is fragile mental health and of course I hear it in your posts as well. Now you can say chicken and the egg. Which came first? Poor mental health or tinnitus. Some would say tinnitus but many who can somehow be objective admit there were instances in their life that made them anxious or depressed, some living this way for years which created the foundation for tinnitus. Fragile mental health both before and after tinnitus is perhaps the most common tenant of the condition. Brain chemistry affects predisposition for this illness.

So, you need to take a hard look in the mirror about your lifestyle and if you believe you were fragile leading up to tinnitus like perhaps most were, then you need to examine how to find better balance in your life which maybe helped with medication as well. If you go down the path of medication which btw, I am helped with 'episodically' listen carefully to advice on the forum. Many medications are not friendly to tinnitus and can be a slippery slope.

If you have ever had a fragile mental state due to a life event or due to simply the choices you make in your life which btw are also governed by your brain chemistry...then the two paths to improvement are behavior modification aka changes you make and practice to forge new neural pathways like tinnitus was forged...and/or medication to change your anxiety or depression level...allow you to think more objectively. Stress due to something like tinnitus changes brain chemistry making things seem much worse than they are.


A last note is without being dramatic, tinnitus maybe the biggest challenge of your lifetime. Why will you meet this perplexing and difficult challenge to survive? By your mere existence. Your DNA is the culmination and the very definition of survival of the species.
Good luck

 

I've had mental health since way back when. And have been on Anti-depressants for many a year. This whole thing with tinnitus actually came about from trying to come off of them (with the GP's blessing). Then, when that went all wrong to say the least, I came back on them. Unfortunately then my GP upped me way too quickly, something I questioned and I took a betablocker for anxiety at the same time. The result tinnitus. I lowered the dose of AD and stopped the betablocker, bit I really have to keep on the AD, which as well as having caused the tinnitus can actually make the symptoms worse.

I am far from laid back, and knowing this means I feel i will be living with tinnitus in perpetual turmoil for the rest of my life. And, yes, the big S has reared it's ugly head on an almost daily basis. Yesterday was particularly bad. I thought I may be a gonner.

I've become very reclusive, even the thought of going for a meal with my parents tonight is filling me with dread as i don't know how loud the place will be.

Does the worse tinnitus from an MRI scan generally go down? I fell like mine is here to stay.

Of all the things a man with my mentality had to get, it had to be tinnitus. A mach made in hell.

 

Let's not forget that this is not true for millions of people where their tinnitus is severe no matter how they are feeling or emotionally respond to it. However, I know many people that say their tinnitus is loud when they're stressed and quiet when they're relaxed.

Millions of people are severely debilitated by tinnitus. In the US alone it's 2-5 million people. A lot more people with tinnitus can go back to living a normal life, some without any and some with more limitations (like you said), but there is, unfortunately, a severe side to tinnitus where things don't get better.

From what I've read on here, most spikes calm down with time. There are a few stories on here by people experiencing spikes from MRIs that went back down. You could also take magnesium and NAC for some days, it might help.

I agree with John Mahan that most people get out of the initial panic/shock phase where they can't believe that this might be chronic. You're still in the early stages and it could still get better for you. I've read stories from people that have said their tinnitus slowly but surely went away over the course of 2 years, so no one can say whether it's actually chronic after three or even six months.

You could take earplugs with you just in case. Do your parents know about your tinnitus? Maybe you could tell them in advance that you're looking for a quiet restaurant?

What I would recommend during the initial panic stage

• reach out to understanding people
• see a therapist if you need more support than your friends and family can offer
• try to focus on other things that make you happy (video games, drawing, exercising) to give yourself a break from the tinnitus
• avoid loud noises, wear earplugs if you can't avoid them
• magnesium, nac, vitamin d, vitamin b12 - who knows, it might help
• have some music, white noise or nature sounds on in the background during the day and at night
• read success stories
• try out things like yoga, meditation, cold showers, etc. - you might be able to find something that either calms you emotionally or even reduces the actual tinnitus loudness

 

Thanks for the post and advice.

I am very pessimistic in general and especially about being able to live with tinnitus. I'm going to admit, that I have had many thoughts of taking my own life in the last weeks. I'm only still here for the sake of my kids and wife. I feel like I have ruined their lives because I have ruined my own. I feel completely disabled by this... my new reality that i can't accept.

WHY? WHY? WHY?

 

As explained, its people with your and a to a degree my brain chemistry that get more acute tinnitus.
I recently visited a brain surgeon. I asked my GP if he would approve a consultation with a guy who has studied the brain more than the rest and he approved this consultation. The brain surgeon said, and he lumped himself into the same mix, guys with brain chemistry like ours 'don't do so well' with things like this and a guy like me is the perfect storm.

All you can do is gather all the data and redirect your life. But, this supposes you can be rational in your choices and of course its hard to be rational with a loud noise in your head you never had before.

If you think about your reaction and the same reaction that countless others have had, its perfectly normal to feel the way you do. It isn't a lot different than losing the love of your life. I am outgoing and met a lot of people in my life and been fortunate to work with people with the highest education. I have learned there is a huge range of life.
People are badly maimed in car wrecks and have to live with the consequences. People are shot and lose the ability to lose their legs.

So, perspective is big. There are worse things. You will adjust.
The smartest person on the forum when it comes to medication and advice is Glynis.
What I would do in your shoes...I think my advice is good as well ....but put together a little background on your mental health, what meds you have taken and were weened off of...basically a timeline and PM it to her.

Ask her for tips and possible medications either episodically or longer term you can take that are safe for tinnitus.

Glynis has a severe form of tinnitus and is the ultimate survivor and knows the most about this disorder in my opinion.

Create a roadmap and stick to it. Other great advice, find the things you like to do in life and do them. Tinnitus or no tinnitus, that is the key to happiness. If you hate your job, quit and find another that you like better.

As the late great philosopher Joseph Campbell said, the key to happiness is 'following your bliss'...who you truly are and what you love to do and not following anybody else's script. Lots of miserable people in the world who don't get it right.

 

Thanks. Everything you say makes sense.

But here I am sat in front of the computer in panic mode.

 

Everybody has that choice, to live or to die. We have that choice each day with tinnitus or no tinnitus.
At the pool yesterday I was having a conversation with a lady friend who used to live in Las Vegas which is a gambling town in the US. Don't know where you are from. She knows a lot about that town because she is a gambler, and lived and worked there for many years. She said routinely people lose their fortune gambling and jump to their death. She says it happens every day but not written about much in the press.

Most people choose life.
But in your post you mentioned you are somewhat predisposed to your life anyway. You said you are a pessimist by nature. Why on earth would you be that way? Have you ever tried to figure out why you have biased thinking? Goal is to be neither a pessimist or optimist. An objective person should be your vantage point. Does life have a lot bad stuff happen to good people. Probably 100 in the time I wrote this. An objective person understands this and 'accepts' it on some level. Sure some things are hard to accept. But with time, hopefully you will.

 

So far i have chosen life. It's my kids I feel for! I just hope things get better, and not worse.

 

There are more steps to the journey you will figure out. A big one is, stop the hyper introspection and start doing again. This comes with time as tinnitus loosens its stranglehold which it will.

I spend a bit too much time on this forum for example. I do it to help people like you but also to learn coping strategies myself from other wise people here.

You will feel better as you work through the various stages discussed.

But if you feel terror or pure panic as in panic attack, I strong suggest a benzo like Clonazepam 'as needed' Highly addictive.

 

Because life with your kids is so worth living. Help is coming. Maybe a big challenge...harder than climbing Everest for you. But you will, meanwhile you will learn to cope and then medical help will come.

I personally look forward to the bi-modal machine. Tinnitus is being hunted down 100 ways by scientists...to figure out how to extinguish these synchronized neurons. They will.

 

I'm going to stay away from drugs if I can at all help it. It was them that brought my tinnitus on in the first place, ie fluoxetine/propranolol. The latter was for panic attacks. Asked the dr 3 times if there are any side effect to it. Got a no each time. Couple of days later... tinnitus!

 

Oh, they will. But it is a matter of when for us. Everything seems to be going so slowly.

 

I was an absolute mess for the first 3 months. Barely slept, constantly checking for my tinnitus, ears burning and they felt full.

8 months in and I have no emotional response other than when i hear it thinking that it’s irritating at most.

I’m lucky mine's quite mild and I think if it is most people can habituate to it. Severe tinnitus sufferers I can’t speak for.

 

There is still a reasonable chance that it might fade. Failing that, there are new treatments (e.g., Lenire) that might get it to fade.

 

What's NAC and how does it help? Any particular dose? What about magnesium and the vitamins you mentioned? Do you use them and have they helped?

I'm now at the stage where I am scared of everything and anything making it worse,

 

N-Acetylcysteine (NAC). Can't really recommend a particular dose but in the thread I've linked people are talking about how much they're taking.

 

Ok, and what about what about magnesium and the vitamins you mentioned? Do you use them and have they helped?

 

I've tried them and they didn't do anything but some people on here have said they've helped them. Personally, I think there's no harm in trying if supplements such as magnesium could help but there's no guarantee.