How to Stay Happy? The Sacrifices of Tinnitus Are Too Great: I Must Cut Off My Social Life

Discussion in 'Support' started by Tommo5, Aug 12, 2020.

    1. Tommo5

      Tommo5 Member

      Location:
      Perth, Wester Australia
      Tinnitus Since:
      25/01/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      earbuds, hearing loss in right ear, noise induced
      I’m 7 months into tinnitus now. I first got it when I was 15 and sadly had it on my 16th birthday. I have learnt to sleep with tinnitus to such an extent where it just goes away into nothing as I focus on my thoughts (lucky am I right?).

      Anyways, recently I’ve come across a spike again and have this thing many people have which is like a noise distortion thing where everything seems to kind of whistle whilst making noise.

      This is probably due to me getting back into my normal life which made me happy. I was going to parties, going to the gym daily (loud metal bangs), hanging out with friends and so much more that I dreamt of doing at this age. However as many of the people on this forum say to stay away from everything loud and I guess I should’ve listened.

      I now understand that in order to still be somewhat ok, I must cut off my social life again. However this is a problem as I’ve already paid a fee to go to my school dance or prom as you guys would say.

      How do you guys still stay happy? I can’t do anything I used to love doing.
       
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    2. all to gain
      No Mood

      all to gain Member Podcast Patron Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      -
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      -
      Honestly, you are still very young, and in your place I would protect your hearing as much as possible right now. Hopefully in a few years we will get the first generation of regenerative hearing drugs coming onto the market, so hold tight, you may be in luck.

      Staying happy is a difficult one. I wouldn't say I am happy, and a year ago I thought my life was at a total end, but I am getting through the day now and doing things. I have to, as I have responsibilities.

      Try to keep busy, make goals, get in lots of cardio exercise, and don't give up hope. All is not lost.

      Good luck.
       
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    3. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Tommo5

      Tommo5 Member

      Location:
      Perth, Wester Australia
      Tinnitus Since:
      25/01/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      earbuds, hearing loss in right ear, noise induced
      Thanks for the support, stayed home today as everyday I’m at school I’m always around unnecessary loud bangs. Never expected to still be crying about this 7 months in. At times I feel so alone, not only am I one of the two people I know that have tinnitus, but I’m also the only 16 year old and the other person is a 60 year old war vet. Everything about this overwhelms me.
       
      • Hug Hug x 5
    4. Mister Muso
      Creative

      Mister Muso Member

      Location:
      Scotland
      Tinnitus Since:
      2007 / April 2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud music
      Sorry to hear this. We're you using earplugs when you tried returning to your normal life? For many people, this is enough to make the difference. You should probably take a few more weeks off in the meantime and just keep things quiet around the house.
       
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    5. all to gain
      No Mood

      all to gain Member Podcast Patron Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      -
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      -
      I'm 50, and if I'm honest a very hardened man, but this thing often overwhelms me. I'm 13 months in and I am up and down and all over the place and often think what's the point, but I am still here and will not give into it. It's a total bummer that this has happened to you at such a young age, but keep going. The likelihood that you will get used to it are high, and the likelihood that some drug will come along that will at least help a bit are high.

      I know it's hard, but try and protect yourself at school a little. I don't like ear plugs myself as I'm wary of causing ear wax to compact, but you could try lightly plugging one ear or you could even take ear muffs with you to school to wear during the loudest times. But don't overprotect.

      Keep coming on here to get support from time to time. You are not alone, even if you feel you are. No need to sit on this site though as it may get you even more down.
       
      • Like Like x 5
    6. Juan

      Juan Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Several causes
      You are very young, so you need to keep your hearing healthy, basically to make a living. One key thing you have to sort out is what are you going to live on in the future, the job you want to do or if you want to create a business... I say this because tinnitus improves with peace of mind and worsens with stress and when you are older a source of stress can be providing for your family or living independently.

      For most jobs we need to hear... so tinnitus is still secondary to the most important thing: preserving your hearing.

      As for the loud metallic bangs, that has all of the ingredients for a sound to make you feel pretty bad or worsen your tinnitus. It is a loud sound, it is impulse noise (goes up in volume fast), and it has reverberation, it carries a lot of vibration. So try to protect your ears with earplugs. Even so, earplugs cannot protect you in all circumstances, and the best way to go is just not being around loud noise at all, specially if you are not forced to be by the noise. If it is not compulsory to go to the gym, or to a loud venue, just don't go there.

      There are times where you wont be able to avoid loud sound and for this you need to have ear protection ready at hand at all times, earplugs in your pockets and earmuffs around, in case you need them.

      You are young and your tinnitus is quite recent. It may improve or disappear in time, but chances are better if you have healthy ears and avoid hearing loss, or noise-induced hearing loss.

      Good luck!
       
      • Like Like x 1
    7. bedalus

      bedalus Member

      Location:
      UK
      Tinnitus Since:
      09/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Barotrauma
      Just take earplugs to the dance and you'll be fine!
       
    8. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Tommo5

      Tommo5 Member

      Location:
      Perth, Wester Australia
      Tinnitus Since:
      25/01/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      earbuds, hearing loss in right ear, noise induced
      Thanks for the feedback. I’m going through a different spike right now, I was using the bathroom fan and now I’m hearing it everywhere, no idea why. I’m scared of using earplugs because of what people will think of me.
       
    9. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Tommo5

      Tommo5 Member

      Location:
      Perth, Wester Australia
      Tinnitus Since:
      25/01/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      earbuds, hearing loss in right ear, noise induced
      Thanks for the feedback. I’m going through a weird spike right now and finding it hard to cope, I was using a bathroom fan and now I’m hearing it everywhere and I’m scared. I don’t like ear plugs as I’m scared of what people will think of me. I keep in places under 80dB though and my ears will tell me if I need to get outta somewhere. But this spike is different, usually mine are louder but don’t breach being able to hear it everywhere. I can hear this everywhere and I’m scared.
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    10. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Tommo5

      Tommo5 Member

      Location:
      Perth, Wester Australia
      Tinnitus Since:
      25/01/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      earbuds, hearing loss in right ear, noise induced
      Not sure if everyone can see this but thanks for the feedback. I’m going through a spike right now which my guess is activated from the bathroom fan. I’m scared as my usual spikes can be masked but this one can’t. What do I do? I’m scared.
       
    11. Kriszti

      Kriszti Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      2016/2017/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      Try to take magnesium and NAC. Majority of the spikes can and will subside in couple of days/weeks.

      As for earplugs. Use them! People care a lot less about this kind of stuff as you would think. You have an ear problem, you need to use them. Try to look at it as if you had a broken foot, you would need a cast. If someone makes fun of you it says a lot about their character, not yours. Also there are a wide range of earplugs available, some comes in transparent forms, so they are barely visible.
       
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    12. ASilverLight
      In pain

      ASilverLight Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      01/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Probably noise, stress and a neck injury.
      As someone with severe self esteem issues, use those plugs! Like Kriszti said, no one would judge someone for having a cast on a broken arm or leg, or judge someone for wearing glasses. If they do, it's on THEM, not you. Safety before anything.
       
    13. Juan

      Juan Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Several causes
      Hey Kriszti, have you tried NAC yourself?
       
    14. Kriszti

      Kriszti Member Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      2016/2017/2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Unknown
      Not yet, but it seems to be the go-to recommended natural thing in case of a spike if someone doesn't want/can't take steroids and a preventive antioxidant. Do you have adverse experience with? Please say no, because I ordered some and it was expensive.
       
      • Hug Hug x 1
    15. all to gain
      No Mood

      all to gain Member Podcast Patron Benefactor

      Tinnitus Since:
      -
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      -
      Never worry about what other people will think. It's none of their goddamn business.
      I wear one ear plug sometimes when I'm out and about, and I couldn't give a damn. It's bright red. Obviously, I would rather not wear it, but it beats a worsening in my hearing or tinnitus.
       
      • Agree Agree x 2
    16. linearb
      Psychedelic

      linearb Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      destroy all creatures. they cannot be regenerated.
      Tinnitus Since:
      1999
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      karma
      I think the best recipe is time, patience, and figuring out if any of the myriad of weird drug and non-drug treatments offered by various people work for you, or not.

      Patience is vastly the most important part of this though. Tinnitus wants to twist your brain into thinking this is something you have to "solve", and right now. You probably can't solve it, and coming to terms with it and finding a way to live joyfully is probably going to be time consuming.

      The only times my earplugs have been noticed when I have been out, have been at loud venues by people cupping their own ears, seeing my orange plugs, and screaming "WOW THAT WAS SMART OF YOU"

      I carry extras now. People that would make fun of you for wearing earplugs strike me the same as motorcyclists that make fun of helmets: stupid people saying dumb things to feel better about their own recklessness.
       
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    17. Mister Muso
      Creative

      Mister Muso Member

      Location:
      Scotland
      Tinnitus Since:
      2007 / April 2019
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Loud music
      Fans and white noise can cause sudden bad reactions for some people, but they are almost always temporary.

      As for earplugs, just look up "clear earplugs" on Amazon or your favorite shopping site and you'll find lots of options. I've rarely had anyone mention noticing them, but when they do and you discuss it with them, they are always understanding and sympathetic. You'd actually be surprised by how much people will relate, due to either themselves or somebody they know having some kind of hearing issue as well. It's really nobody else's business though - why compromise your own hearing from worsening?
       
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    18. Juan

      Juan Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      08/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Several causes
      I haven't tried NAC myself. I have not experimented much with drugs, as none of them really worked for hyperacusis, and I did not find any drugs that can delay hearing loss either.
       
    19. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Tommo5

      Tommo5 Member

      Location:
      Perth, Wester Australia
      Tinnitus Since:
      25/01/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      earbuds, hearing loss in right ear, noise induced
      Thanks for the help. I have noticed that when I lie down at night with no white noise, just head down in a normal position, it’s a lot quieter than 7 months ago.
       
    20. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Tommo5

      Tommo5 Member

      Location:
      Perth, Wester Australia
      Tinnitus Since:
      25/01/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      earbuds, hearing loss in right ear, noise induced
      Thanks, I will start now. I’d rather live a quiet life than one with ringing.
       
      • Like Like x 1
    21. AUTHOR
      AUTHOR
      Tommo5

      Tommo5 Member

      Location:
      Perth, Wester Australia
      Tinnitus Since:
      25/01/2020
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      earbuds, hearing loss in right ear, noise induced
      Thanks all for the responses.

      Out of curiosity, does anyone else experience just waves of sadness (I wouldn’t self diagnose myself with depression or anxiety)?

      This is also not triggered by tinnitus but I am just not as happy as I was a long time ago and it’s been like this for a while. But it has started since I got the tinnitus, I think it’s just me getting tired of dealing with all of this.
       
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