I'm Going to End It

I wish I could answer that brother.
I can only give advice to my little friend @dannyboy ...

@Martin69 , what I can advise you is, since you are close to Switzerland.
Invest $2000 in yourself and get a qEEG with Dr.Jeanmonod at his clinic in Solothurn.
From this examination you will at least have an answer to what you are trying to find out- is it the depression or is it the tinnitus that is making you miserable.
The qeeg can tell this. There are 2 components on it:
Low frequency delta and theta brainwaves and High frequency Beta and Gamma waves.
The first are responsible for neurogenic origin tinnitus and the latter are responsible to psychogenic origin (such as depression, anxiety, emotional).....This is what I was told by him.

 

I always appreciate the advice buddy.

 

Hang in there it will get better , there are a lot of good comments here don't waste it on someone who didn't stick with you through your hard times you deserve better

 

Thanks Dan.
I would give him 200,000 if he cures my T.
But no 2000 just for telling me which T I have.

 

He might be able to reduce it to a non-intrusive level...
I dont think a total cure is even possible with our knowledge of tinnitus.

 

This thread has gone funnier by the day. First it was a 'good bye' thank you from geg1992 and everyone is trying to comfort him and encourage him not to end it for a lady who abandons him at his darkest time. Now thread has morphed into one about love/romance counselling or 'all you want to know above love', LOL. But I am truly glad geg1992 is alive and well. Give yourself some time, my friend. It is not worth it to die for someone who dumps you at your most helpless point.

Don't believe in true love? Sure. There are plenty bad relationship out there. Can't blame anybody to lose faith in modern love. But there are always different opinions based on different experiences and backgrounds. Tell me about it. I was someone who suffered from anxiety and panic disorder, which started when I was young. So when I was in university, I met a beautiful and caring young lady. She was an angel of a person. She was being courted by the student body president, a powerfully gifted student leader. Me, I worked as a custodian part-time after school hours. I had nothing, no wealthy family behind me, no great look then. She told me years later that I looked like a 'bamboo' at 5'10" weighing only 130 lbs. LOL. I am glad we don't have to do a gladiator fight to win the beauty.

We talked well as school friends and I invited her to jog each morning before class. We talked about our challenges in life. I told her I was that close to be admitted in a nut house before, with anxiety and panic disorder that had kept me house bound for a while before heading to college. I told her I like her but I wasn't sure about my health and that the other guy is gifted and strong. I just told her the truth about myself and let her make an informed decision on her bf. You know what, she chose me, against all odds. We married while in college. Now years later, we are still happily married with grown children & grandchildren. I still hug her and kiss her daily to say goodbye to work and embrace her when I come home. Every phone call during the day starts with 'I love you babe'. She has bad chronic asthma and worse, severe bronchiectasis struggling to breathe. She is only breathing 50% of oxygen a normal person breathes. She cannot work with that poor health. She also gain lots of weigh because of her slow metabolism. But she is forever beautiful to me and I will love and care for her until her last breath. She has done the same for me during the darkest time in my mental struggle and during my tinnitus 'hell'. I don't know if this is true love. But it is good enough for me.

@Martin, you have a great wife. Don't second guess her and her unwavering support for you. @geg1992, don't give up on life and on love. This is a big world and all sorts of people and experiences out there. There are always 2 sides of the story. To each its own. Lets learn to respect the diversity of experiences and opinions.

 

We were on a break, now it's just ended and I feel so fucking angry and upset.

She just admitted to met she met someone last night and is trying to wiggle her way out saying "i doubt anything will happen" or along those words. We were on a break and promised we wouldn't get with anyone else. I know she hasn't...yet...but to think she was even looking at a guy like that. I'm just so angry now.

 

That's awful just awful. I feel for you man...Whenever a woman says I want a break, that's just an excuse...I'm sorry she done it so horribly...But please don't end your life...Autifony are coming out with results...To end it now, would be foolish. I'll help in anyway I can buddy.

 

Honestly if i was you i would just end it.. She seems she want another fling. And ur only going to take the punishment by staying with her.. And more drama u dont need in your life..

 

Thanks man appreciate it. I just can't believe this is happening. She was the most wonderful, kind heartest person in the world. She saved me. It just sucks I got T trying to make her happy too. I just feeel so empty, I went to the pub last night and couldn't cope an hour, I don't know how I'll ever replace her.

 

I'll never understand women for the life of me.

 

All you need is love.

Beautiful Billy.

 

Yet the men get the blame.

 

I've been in love a few times and every time I said I'll never be able to find someone like her. But I always did, trust me, you'll fall in love again and we will have something to treat tinnitus. For now, you'll have to manage it...You could go the way I did, but that's up to you buddy.

 

See the thing is, the tinnitus itself doesn't bother me any more. I mean sometimes it does but I just think whatever its a noise even though it's fucking loud sometimes. But then it's the stuff it prevents me from doing.

 

I know how you feel...I used to be in your place..I used to be a 10/10 in terms of tinnitus loudness, but I'm a 1/10 now.

 

How do you get on with life though? I just seem to sit on my computer all day and all night when not working, it's horrible.

 

Well, I didn't...I had to have a drug treatment which helped me.

 

stop feeling sorry for yourself, pick yourself up dust yourself off and crack on, there are a lot more people worse of than yourself, you only get one shot of this life Danny Boy, and talking of ending it is B--llsh-t, ive just watched a good friend of mine who was only 30 die of bowel cancer, you have tinnitus, so do i, and millions do, just be thankfull its not terminal and kills you, dont let the woman get you down, someone is out there for you, take stock of your life and show some Bulldog spirit

 

Look, I don't even know why I ended up on this site. Probably out of curiosity after all these years.

Let me tell you my story that started 13 years ago. I had just broken up with my girlfriend and ended up going to a bar as I always did back then. The very next morning I woke up with this buzzing noise in my ears. I assumed it would go away eventually but it never did. I can still hear (if I bother to listen) that very same noise as I type this.

It lead me into COMPLETE hell for years. I tried anything and everything (I'm sure that thing where you listen to some whale noises half your waking hours is still doing rounds) and absolutely nothing worked for me (In short term.... more about that later). All I could do was listen to that hellish buzz. I quickly sank deeper and deeper to the point where my whole life was about listening to that noise in my ears and fearing it would get worse. I didn't go anywhere but work anymore and even going there was a struggle as I feared all the noises and how they could somehow make it worse and therefore make my life even worse than it was (as it could somehow be possible).

After about year of this I was in a situation where I felt I had nothing left. None of my dreams (wife, kids, career) could ever be fulfilled and in fact three seconds ( I mean that literally) of not listening to the noise seemed impossible. I went to see psychiatrist who gave me a number of a good therapist. For next three years I would see her weekly. At first it was just about coping and making it to the next day. I remember her asking me what would be ultimate dream and I replied that being able to live ordinary life with the tinnitus without it bothering me too much but I said that I understood it could never happen (how wrong was I).

What happened over time though (not in a week or a month or even a year.... but remember I was the worst case of them all) was that little by little, without even realising it, I started to feel better. At first minutes would pass, then hours and eventually days that I didn't even think about it anymore.

Ten years ago I met girl of my dreams who could accept me for what I am. After years of therapy I was in a situation where I didn't pay much attention to it at all. I started going out again (wearing earplugs but any sensible person would do that in a nighclub), going to movies and doing all the normal things again.

Fast forward to this day and I'm married to that girl and I'm father of two ( I thought I'd lost that because how could I ever take care of screaming baby), I have fantastic career being in a well paid directorial job and my tinnitus doesn't bother me at all. In fact, I've had some completely unrelated health scares recently (I'm actually back on therapy because I went overboard with anxioty with those) and when I was struggling I sometimes actually TRIED to listen to the tinnitus because... well it's as much part of me as my arm and in many ways comforting familiar sound.

You people will not believe, I know because I was there, but try and seek some professional help and I promise you that with patience you will get your life back. Tinnitus itself isn't good or bad, it just is. Concentrate on your real problem ie why you FEEL the way you feel about it.

Now son, don't do anything stupid.

 

Thank you, that's very reassuring!!

 

Would one of the moderators delete this thread please?

 

The thread actually has good message behind it. The members here care enough to reach out to a suicidal member to help him out of that mental 'hell' and hopefully geg is requesting to delete the thread because he now is convinced that ending it is not a good idea. If so, perhaps just change the title of the thread to, say, "There is always hope in love after T", LOL.

 

I agree. We're a great community and I personally will always be here to help a fellow sufferer.

 

To your issue.. I have tinnitus for 15 years. I was dating a women for almost a year when while we were ending the relationship admitted directly she couldn't stand having to think about my hearing issue eventhough I never complained about it. This speaks volumes about the quality of a person. It would have been fine to end the relationship as I basically was intimating it for other reasons around her self center behavior. you'll be fine.. better to know now and be free.