I'm Going to End It

Discussion in 'Support' started by geg1992, May 18, 2015.

tinnitus forum
    1. geg1992
      English

      geg1992 Member

      Location:
      England
      Tinnitus Since:
      05/12/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise exposure + Antibiotics
      I was doing so well.

      The only person who was giving meaning to my life and getting me through it all has now ended it with me.

      I don't want to live any more.

      thank you for all your help over the past months, you've saved me for this long.

      Thanks.
       
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    2. MariaH
      Dreaming

      MariaH Member

      Location:
      Barcelona
      Tinnitus Since:
      07/2013
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Medication
      Hi Geg,
      You were doing so much better and you WILL get better again. Please don't let a moment of despair, fear or depression drive you to take decisions that you can never turn back. Think about your life in 5, 10, even 15 years from now.
      You will look back at this dark time in your life and be happy that you chose not to end it. Think of the times when you were doing better and how good it will feel when you get that back. It might seem impossible now, but its not.
      What happened to the person who gave meaning to your life?
      Stay strong Geg and hang in there!
      Big hug,
      Maria
       
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    3. eldudebro
      Doh

      eldudebro Member

      Location:
      Glasgow, United Kingdom
      Tinnitus Since:
      31/07/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic Trauma/Loud Music.
      Don't do it.

      I've been exactly where you are. 6 months ago every day I entertained daily thoughts of ending it. I'm glad I didn't.

      These feelings will subside and you will grow accustomed to your tinnitus and life will go on as before. Mines certainly has, and I can hear it whistling away right now however I just don't react to it anymore. You just have to get through the tough first few months.
       
    4. geg1992
      English

      geg1992 Member

      Location:
      England
      Tinnitus Since:
      05/12/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise exposure + Antibiotics
      It's not just the T which is the problem though. :( Just everything in my life has gone to s#@#. Personal things like having a very slim chance of being a father as well, I can;t go out and meet new people or anything. I just feeel so hopeless. I'm so isolated in my own home too. I don't know, I'm sorry for ranting. :( Thank you for your kind words though.
       
      • Hug Hug x 8
    5. Richard Wallace
      Thinking

      Richard Wallace Member

      Location:
      Minnesota
      Hi geg, MariaH just posted above me and mainly said it all. The sadness of your break up will pass and you'll make it. Just hang in there my friend. God Bless....... Rich
       
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    6. Ken219
      No Mood

      Ken219 Member

      Location:
      New York Area
      Tinnitus Since:
      Summer of 1990
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise exposure?
      'thank you for all your help over the past months, you've saved me for this long.'
      And you for us. @geg1992 You want to be here for the happening, the cure! I've been waiting for a long time.
      Lets survive this together. Beside you have us. God bless.
       
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    7. geg1992
      English

      geg1992 Member

      Location:
      England
      Tinnitus Since:
      05/12/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise exposure + Antibiotics
      Thanks for all the kind words. The T will make it so hard to find someone new. I've always been bullied for my looks. Add to this that I can't go out and meet people or go on dates as it's too loud now.

      Everything good reminds me of her.

      Florida, my happy place, reminds me of her. I booked it for us and paid out a lot of money, now she's just left me.

      I have T in the first place as I wanted to make her happy. I took antibiotics at the same time as noise exposure, I knew it was too loud but I didn;t want to let her down.

      She made my life and has now ruined it.
       
    8. billie48
      Sunshine

      billie48 Member Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador Team Research

      Location:
      Vancouver, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2009
      I know you love her and treasure her, but she left you at the darkest time of your life. True love stays together in sickness and health. If you are going to die for someone who abandon you during your darkest time of need, think again, perhaps you deserve someone better and that some one will be there even though you are not the best shape in the world. T is not an end game. It will come, scare you, freak you out, tense you up, stress the heck out of you, and jack up in loudness as you get more and more stress. Do the opposite. By minimizing it, by trying to live again, by going out and daring your T. I had to dare both my T & H with ear plugs to reclaim my life slowly. It took 3 years. Don't end it for T, and don't end it for someone who abandon you when you are so helpless. You deserve someone better. Give T and your body some time. Life is precious. Suicide is not an option. I thought about that and research youtube on that. Youtube is full of people telling horror stories with near death experience from attempted suicide. I didn't want to take the chance. It is a one way ticket for most, and it may not solve anything. T is livable. True love needs time & patience to test out its true meaning. You haven't found your true love yet, tbh. So don't end it and try fight T with a positive attitude like others here. You have at least many virtual friends here who care about you. Take care and God bless.
       
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    9. SoulStation
      No Mood

      SoulStation Member Ambassador Team Tech

      Location:
      New York
      Tinnitus Since:
      2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise / Possible Medication
      Geg . trust me. I too understand how hard this can be. Time will heal your pain and I know you can make it through this . I know it seems impossible now but I have had my heart broken so many times and I know what it feels like when everything reminds you of her. I promise you it can get better. The wounds are fresh but will heal.

      If you need someone to talk to later tonight I'm here bro. Just PM me...
      I'll lend an ear. And show you that you can and will get over this .
       
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    10. Vincent R
      Inspired

      Vincent R Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Sweden
      Tinnitus Since:
      09/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Acoustic trauma
      You'll be dead soon enough, anyway, @geg1992. We all will. Not much point in being in a rush, if you ask me.
       
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    11. ruben ruiz

      ruben ruiz Member

      Location:
      Tucson, AZ
      Tinnitus Since:
      2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      I believe it was meds and stress
      Geg 1992, I know its hard what you are going through. Three years ago I got ill with T andH
      my girlfriend kicked me out and I lost my job. Man I was really down. All those triggers were everywhere.
      I am now a little better even though the T and H are worse. Do you have any support from your family, friends or professional. You may need a psychologist. Are you taking meds? Some time its hard without meds.
      Love
       
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    12. Rube
      Fine

      Rube Member Benefactor

      Location:
      U.S.A
      Tinnitus Since:
      7/2014
      You will get better and you will find someone. I went through the same thing as my girl left as I was at my worst point with t. Guess what, 8 months later I'm doing just fine and I have a great new girlfriend who cares a lot about me AND my condition but it doesn't impact our relationship as she is very understanding and super supportive. Ending it all isn't the answer, life is too precious to waste that way. If you want to talk send me a message. Just remember you're not alone, I went through it and will help you get through it.
       
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    13. gary
      Transparent

      gary Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Macomb, MI. USA
      Tinnitus Since:
      07/2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Who Knows
      Hi geg, I can understand the pain you are going through, actually everyone who replied can. Re-read each and every reply. Billie48's reply pretty much says it all, but read them all. You are not alone geg!
       
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    14. RicoS
      Confused

      RicoS Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Netherlands
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Stress or Acoustic trauma
      Geg1992 do not only let a person give meaning to your life...there are much other things out there. If you only let a person give meaning to your life and she leaves you , you feel empty.
      See this as a lesson for the next time when you meet someone....and you WILL meet someone. Been there done that and I also felt heartbroken and totaly alone, but I came stronger out with it.
      You say you have a slim chance to become a father.... slim is not 0!!! And even if it was 0 ..do you know how many babies there are to be adopted.

      Your in a dark place right now...but see it like this...the only way is up. You just have T so who knows ...for most people it gets better.
      Cry if you must cry. Yell if you want to yell.....get that negative energy out of there. If I lived in England you could come over and I kick your as with Mortal Kombat X on the PS4 or something. I live in the Netherlands so if you ever around just PM me.....

      Or buy a PS4 get online and add me to your friends list and than we play what ever game is fun. You need to get through this. Heartbroken is what most of us experience in a lifetime and it feels like the end of the world. But that big blue ball will keep spinning no matter what...so make the best of it.... with or without T. And with or without a girlfriend.
       
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    15. Gosia
      Balanced

      Gosia Member

      Location:
      France
      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2015
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      earplugs/ hearing loss
      Think that if it's so bad it can only be better later. You're so young that you have no idea what is therestill waiting for you, I'm sure you're curious to know what it is. Life often sucks and you must bemore than aware that is sucks for so many others too but it's still an advanture you can influence. That ex of yours is not worth to be with or very young and immature. Many people will have lived without even being in a rrelationship ever in a lifetime, but they find other goals. Focus now on yourself getting better. We all have at least one goal here:getting rid of T but alive. Killing oneself would be cheating and chickening
       
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    16. billie48
      Sunshine

      billie48 Member Benefactor Hall of Fame Ambassador Team Research

      Location:
      Vancouver, Canada
      Tinnitus Since:
      03/2009
      Try to hang in there @geg1992, as there is still good life after T and after a break up. Things will change for the better. There is a success story on TT by @Aaron who travels all over the world after T, and after a heartbreak with his ex. He said he got his T in an accident while helping his girlfriend move (if I remember correctly), but after struggling with his T for a while, his ex left him. Poor guy. But Aaron shows us there is good life after T and heartbreak, by travelling all over the world with his loud T. So when your T gets better, think of all the places you have yet to see. Romance is nice, but it is not everything, especially with someone who left you at your darkest time. There is definitely good life to come, as Aaron shows us with his pictures here:

      https://www.tinnitustalk.com/thread...are-with-you-some-pictures-i-took-after.3268/
       
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    17. MattK

      MattK Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      2/13/2014
      Hang in there man. I once was in a serious relationship and I thought she was "the one". When she broke it off with me, I really thought my world was turned upside down. In fact, I really thought I'd spend the rest of my life alone, and for a while after the break up, it seemed that all girls just didn't compare. I wanted her.

      In time, I got over her and really did meet the one. And you know what? I'm so glad I broke up with my ex! Because if I hadn't, I wouldn't have ever gotten together with my wife and she is the one that I really wanted. And, I really couldn't be happier with anyone else.

      What may seem like the worst thing in the world right now, may turn out to be a huge blessing down the road. You never know what tomorrow will bring.

      Btw, if anyone bullies you for your looks, then they are really insecure and need to get a life. I'm not sure which guy you are in your avatar, but none of the guys in there are bad looking at all. Certainly nothing to be self-conscious about.
       
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    18. RichardRR
      Tired

      RichardRR Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2011
      Don't.
       
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    19. RichardRR
      Tired

      RichardRR Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      10/2011
      Still alive?
       
    20. SoulStation
      No Mood

      SoulStation Member Ambassador Team Tech

      Location:
      New York
      Tinnitus Since:
      2012
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise / Possible Medication
      Yea @geg1992 i am worried about you . Please check in when you can. I hope you're holding up
       
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    21. Carm

      Carm Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      04/01/2011
      @geg1992 Never give up on life. You don't know what ends at the end of the rainbow. Hold strong, life will get better.
       
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    22. geg1992
      English

      geg1992 Member

      Location:
      England
      Tinnitus Since:
      05/12/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Noise exposure + Antibiotics
      Yes sorry I haven't got back to you all. Thank you for the kind words. I'm still alive but I still feel so low and lonely. But I know I've got to keep pushing. Thank you again.
       
      • Hug Hug x 2
    23. Mike82
      Wishful

      Mike82 Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      12/2014
      Chin up, mate. I know Ipswich losing to arch-rivals Norwich is grim, but nothing is worth that kind of talk.

      As someone who has been through what you're experiencing and come out the other side, I can promise you that all it takes is time. Just give it a bit of that, yeah? I think you'll find you'll come out the other side too.
       
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    24. dan
      Chatty

      dan Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2011
      Another misconception drilled into boy's minds by reading them fairytales in childhood, lol.
      There is not true love, there is only symbiosis, for lack of a better world in my vocabulary. To put it bluntly, a man provides and a woman nurtures. If these things become unbalanced then the whole house of cards crumbles.
       
    25. Danny Boy
      Cheerful

      Danny Boy Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      England
      Tinnitus Since:
      7/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ear infection
      Love is a chemical, but we give it meaning by choice.
       
    26. dan
      Chatty

      dan Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2011
      I was not talking about the lust and romatic feelings we experience when we first "fall in love".
      I am talking about what happens long term - i.e. what holds the relationship together....cerainly it is not "love", but that co-dependence on one another. The woman has biological obligation to bear child and the man has obligation to provide food and shelter. Yes I know that women are now equal to men in the workforce but nature is still nature and the woman will have to take years off to care for the baby, so she will be looking for that man to be able to provide her with all her needs as comfortably as possible, while she is off work. This repeats itself as she bears more babies.
      So if tinnitus has put a man out of comission, it is most unlikely he will find a woman for marriage.
      This is why I am guessing the OP's girlfriend just up and left him, even giving up a nice vacation. She just realized and made an executive long term decision to end it.
       
    27. Danny Boy
      Cheerful

      Danny Boy Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      England
      Tinnitus Since:
      7/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ear infection
      Still she should've helped him and been supportive... What an horrible person to leave when he's going through this.
       
    28. RicoS
      Confused

      RicoS Member Benefactor

      Location:
      Netherlands
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Stress or Acoustic trauma
      Funny you mention this because I got T and yesterday my girlfriend said although she hates to see me suffering...she feels we came more closer togetter and our relationship is stronger than ever. For the most part I will agree with you.. but it just happens to be that in my case it just isn't so. But it is a fear that is in the back of my mind though so that why I agree with you most of it :)
       
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    29. dan
      Chatty

      dan Member

      Tinnitus Since:
      06/2011
      Yes I realizes, but this is part of nature and survival of the fittest.
      You might feel like calling her a bitch, but in reality its not her fault, its just the way humans are wired.
      OP should concentrate on getting better and getting back onto that horse.
      We should learn to be more self-sufficient and not collapse emotionally when our partner dumps us.
       
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    30. Danny Boy
      Cheerful

      Danny Boy Member Benefactor Hall of Fame

      Location:
      England
      Tinnitus Since:
      7/2014
      Cause of Tinnitus:
      Ear infection
      Well, nobody has disowned me for having tinnitus...Everyone has been supportive. She must've been an horrible person simple as that.
       
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